33 of the Most Insane Things Clients Have Ever Demanded

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33 of the Most Insane Things Clients Have Ever Demanded

What exactly does a gay creature look like? You know what, don’t answer that. Piglet is pretty twinkified, and we all know it. But imagine being an animator and having a client say that a character looks “too gay” in a specific frame. What are you supposed to do, pencil in an AR-15 and a case of Bud Light

In the spirit of commiserating over nonsensical requests, Redditors have compiled the most insane demands and lofty expectations that clients have made over the years. Let’s raise a glass to the client who was insistent on not seeing the word “this” in any reports because it was “too vague.” This one’s for you!

kukukele 11y A client of ours sent out an email to our team which basically resulted in us completely having to redo his tax return. One of the managers on the account replied to our team, about how this client always procrastinated and was a real brash dickhead. Too bad she sent reply-all including our client. The minutes immediately following her reply were tense. The partner on the account was panicking and she was in tears for her mistake. Lucky her, the client responded with haha, yeah, I can be a real asshole sometimes and found it hilarious. ... 1.7k

floorface . 11y I once had a client tell me to rewrite my report without using the word this. Не said it was too vague. Just as an experiment, I want all of you to push ctrl+f and search for this. Just look at all of the instances of the word this on your current page, and try to come up with an alternative word or phrase. I dare you. I fucking dare you. ... 363

 . 11y I thought having dual monitors made the computer run faster. Facepalm ... 191

blacksg 11y Not me, but my dad. He's a Vet and the best client story he's told me is a lady bringing in a group of puppies to be checked out and get shots, etc. She claimed to have found them and thought they were very cute. All would have been well except that they were no ordinary puppies. They were Coyote pups. This woman found wild Coyotes and brought them to my father thinking she was going to have some new puppies that needed shots. ... 339

GeoM56 . 11y There is a documented case of a couple being treated by a sex therapist who had for years not enjoyed sex. After some prying, the sex therapist found out the couple had never actually inserted the penis into the vagina; rather, the man only thrusted between the woman's legs around her crotch. ... 1k

JunkyardForLove . 5y Vet tech. A lot of people think their dog's nipples are ticks. A lot. One man even pulled a but he's a boy! on us. ... 16.4k

BaconCat 11y Once worked with a division in IT that bragged about having all their paper forms Fully electronic. I asked them for details, and they described how rather than print off the form and mail it in, people could now print it off, fax it, that fax would be converted to a PDF and then emailed to the division, whereupon they would print it off and file it in a filing cabinet. ... 36

 11y Hahahaha.... I feel your pain! I once made a website for someone, I changed the damn colors with him for at least 4 hours. In the end after I told him the color scheme is shit he said to me: 'I'm color blind and this looks good to me!' ... 667

spookyem . 5y A group of four ladies sat on a table that is reserved for a group of regulars every day. Before I opened my mouth to let them know, one says 'we see a reserved sign but we are unsure exactly how reserved it is?' ... 928

PhreedomPhighter . . 5y When I asked For here or to go? I got a confused look followed by What would you recommend? ... 8.2k

cman349 . 5y I work in pharma and someone called yelling at me to stop selling her son weed. I think she took the definition 'drug company' way too literally. Edit: Pharma as in pharmaceutical company not a pharmacy ... 2.3k

 . 11y i new employee (of higher rank and pay than me) brought me a paper document and asked me if I could make an electronic version of it so she could email it to someone. after looking at it, it was obviously recently printed on crisp paper. when i asked her where she got the printout she said she printed it from her computer. . had no idea how to respond. (we both worked in IT) ... 1.4k

 . 11y I do inside sales for an IT consulting company. I had a client that ordered a docking station and keyboard through us. Не called me and asked why he couldn't get anything to come up on the screen. Probably because he didn't order a fucking computer. ... 1.7k

Yarddogkodabear 11y Animation notes Producer - Frame 35 the creature looks gay. Make animation less gay. VFX notes Producer - Please make the parallax more blue. ... 393

danger_mcboom . 11y A former divorce lawyer here. A client had a change of heart and decided not to go through with the divorce, and instead dismiss the petition and stay married. This was promptly followed up with claims of not being required to pay since I didn't get the divorce as originally planned (even though I spent about 8 months on the case), and nasty voicemails accusing me of trying to break up the marriage in the first place. ... 994

squirrelbo1 . 11y I work in a bakery. I've had a few good ones. Firstly, bread that is made fresh and doesnt sell on that day, we slice it and bag it up, and then sell it the next day half price (reduce wastages). Anyway in strolls a customer reads the little price sign we have and asks me what is yesterdays bread?. I was dumbfounded.

konnektion e 5y Selling paint. Woman wants to paint her fence. I give her advice and explain to her how to prepare the surface. She then asks: Do I need anything to apply the paint? I'm like Yeah a roller or a brush... She's like Oh, I can just splash the paint on the fence? She was dead serious. Woman, this is not Looney Tunes, this is the real world! ... 792

lebouefbrittany . . 5y I worked at Old Navy and an elderly lady walked in and asked where the boats were. She had never been inside an Old Navy and assumed it was some sort of boating store. ... 556

TrapperMAT . 5y Why I sent them an invoice. Sigh... I work for an accounting firm. We did a project for them, wrapped it up, and billed it. A few months later, they came back with another project. So we did the work, and gave them a bill. They somehow thought that the new project was covered under the previous invoice. ... 579

twentyfeettall . . 5y Library. Once I checked out several books to a woman and told her the return date. She looked at her friend, then back at me, and said, shocked, You mean I have to bring the books BACK? ... 16k

 11y At Subway, I was surprised how often people wanted to know how big a footlong or six inch sandwich was. ... 200

jchite84 . 5y I worked at Kinkos and on 3 separate occasions different people angrily asked me why I returned their faxed document to them. They thought that a fax machine was some kind of Willy Wonka thing that sent their original piece of paper to the recipient. ... 22k

yangx . 11y A lady comes in with her laptop telling me that her cat slept on the keyboard and half the keys comes out with numbers instead of letters. I showed her what numlock is, she thanked me and left. I work at a convenience store. edit: I put this comment in the mix when there was ~450 other comments, and watching this rise to the top is very fascinating to see say the least. ... 1.7k

 . 11y I used to work in the appliance department of Sears. We had a woman call in who had recently purchased a stove. The stove was having issues and she wanted us to send someone out, it seems this particular stove was possessed. We offered to send a repair man out, we even offered to have our delivery team bring her another stove. Nope, not good enough. She wanted us to send out a priest who could preform an exercism... On a stove. ... 48

Armadillo19 . 11y Had a client come into my office to discuss her impending foreclosure and ways we could try to assist. She proceeded to change the topic of conversation to how we had so many aloe plants in the office, and how great they were to eat for digestive reasons. I proceeded to offer her one for my sheer amusement, and she ate the entire fucking plant right in front of me. ... 34

infernalspawnODOOM . 11y Not mine, but my brother's. Не worked in a call center for a big internet company, and one day he told me about a problem he had with one person who called in. Не tried everything to get the internet to work: Reseting modems, routers, ect. Then finally he asked the stupid question: Is it plugged in? WHAT'S THIS PLUG DOIN' ON THE FLOOR?!? Facepalm.jpg ... 130

lh8YourCat . 11y I drug test clients on a frequent basis. For anonymity purposes, I won't say where I work. Some of the excuses they come up with when they test positive are hilarious. This one in particular had me laughing pretty hard. This guy tested positive for cocaine. Не told me that he was spending the night with a female companion who was using coke. Не explained that she kept licking her fingers which had remnants of cocaine on it. She later proceeded to give him a beej. It must have gotten into his system from a mouth to

MongooseOnTheLoose . . 5y Renovating a major hospital when the owner changes their mind (again) and wants to change the plan after we've started construction: You guys can take care of that right, with no extra cost? Oh, and the end date won't change, will it? We sure as fuck can't Steve, and it sure as fuck will! Those changes are gonna cost another $100,000! And now we need to go buy completely different materials and figure out what the fuck youre talking about. The schedule is fucked now This is why construction never ends on the first given end date

BreeMPLS 11y Hello, I'm you in 15 years. The avalanche of bullshit that clients have spewed my way is massive. It's astonishing, really. I don't fault people for it, it's just human nature. Plus, the more you specialize, the more myopic your world view becomes. Almost as if you dump some information in favor of other... Anyway... The best one involved a director-level executive from the massive worldwide retailer stopping my presentation and (in a rather bitchy way) pointing out a flaw in my taxonomy (I'm a UX/IA professional). In front of 20 people in a board room, with another

fauxnetikz 11y I work at a sign shop. One time we had a customer order some vehicle magnetics - no big deal we make them all the time. After he came to pick them up, we watched him go out to his car and try to put them on....the driver's window. Не kept placing it on the window and acting surprised when it slid down and fell off. Не even tried smoothing it down. Fucking magnetics. How do they work? ... 22

 11y User complained bitterly when informed we would be upgrading her with a mouse (I'm an OLD professional). Didn't want a mouse, didn't use a mouse, don't bring her a mouse. When we came to install the mouse and the software (Windows 3.1 if I recall), she said, Fine, I'll take the mouse. Just please, PLEASE, don't take my keyboard! ... 171

bladeau81 . 5y Can we open the curtains to make the screen brighter? (While pointing at a projector and screen setup.) She seriously thought that more light in the room would make everything brighter as if the projection was some sort of moving painting. ... 6k

OMothmanWhereArtThou D 5y I used to work as a bank teller. A lady came up to me and asked to withdraw money. I informed her that she couldn't withdraw money, because her account was overdrawn. She was immediately upset, so I had her account checked for fraud. She then explained that all those charges were hers and she wasn't expecting any payments. She was spending money she knew she didn't have. She then asked me why we couldn't just give her more money. ... 13.2k
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