30 Anti-Jokes Containing Zero Punchlines

‘What kind of fish don’t swim?’
30 Anti-Jokes Containing Zero Punchlines
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Tired of your jokes always trying to make you laugh? Well, do I have a collection of not-quite zingers for you. Here’s a full stack of anti-jokes, painstakingly crafted to involve absolutely none of the craft of comedy. Blank stares guaranteed!

CRACKED Why haven't they built a second Eiffel Tower? No need.
CRACKED How do you get a nun pregnant? Sexual intercourse.
CRACKED What's the differences between an airplane and an apple? An apple doesn't have wings.
CRACKED How do you call an elevator in Germany? By pressing the button.
CRACKED What's fuzzy, green, and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table.
CRACKED A man buys 2999 apples. The cashier asks, why not just buy 3000 apples? The man replies, Who the hell is gonna eat 3000 apples?
CRACKED Why do scuba divers fall backwards off the boat? Because if they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat.
CRACKED Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died.
CRACKED What's yellow and hurts if it gets in your eye? A bulldozer.
CRACKED Why did Billy drop his ice cream? Не was hit by a bus.
CRACKED What does Santa Claus do on Easter? Relax.
CRACKED A bartender walks into a bar. Не starts preparing for his shift.
CRACKED If you paint a green house with red paint, what do you get? A red house.
CRACKED My girlfriend is like the new iPhone. She doesn't have a headphone jack.
CRACKED What do you call a man wearing a toupee? Bald.
CRACKED Why do turkeys hate Thanksgiving? I'd think it would be obvious.
CRACKED What's orange, round, and delicious? An orange.
CRACKED Why aren't vampires ever near garlic? Because they don't exist.
CRACKED What's worse than a worm in your apple? Choking.
CRACKED Why did the robber wear a white ski mask? The black one was in the wash.
CRACKED What's big, smelly, and has 16,000 wings? A box of 8,000 dead flies.
CRACKED What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile, Robin.
CRACKED What's funnier than having the flu? Most things, to be honest.
CRACKED What's worse than a mosquito bite? Two mosquito bites.
CRACKED What do you call a clown falling down the stairs? An ambulance.
CRACKED Why did the scarecrow win an award? Excellent craftsmanship.
CRACKED What do you call money in a blender? A bad financial decision.
CRACKED Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Evolution.
CRACKED Why did they bury the General on the hill? Because he was dead.
CRACKED What kind of fish don't swim? Dead ones.

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