35 of the Funniest Tweets from Tuesday, September 2, 2025

‘my mom would beat your mom at candy crush’
35 of the Funniest Tweets from Tuesday, September 2, 2025

Woody Allen thinks the people who don’t want to work with him are making a mistake.

The disgraced director recently sounded off on the growing number of actors, including Mira Sorvino and Greta Gerwig, who expressed regrets about appearing in his films, denouncing these stars as “people that just made a mistake.” “They think that they’re doing something honorable or helpful, but they’re not.” Allen explained to Bill Maher on Maher’s Club Random podcast. 

Meanwhile, Saturday Night Live star Bowen Yang is recounting his relationship with one of the series’ more problematic former players, explaining how he and Shane Gillis  bonded over “being used” during the show’s 2019 hiring scandal. “I think there was like a recruitment going on either side of like, ‘If you like this guy, then this is what you stand for, and if you like this guy, then this is what you stand for,’” Yang told Marc Maron while appearing on the WTF podcast. “I think both of us are probably a little more dimensional than that.”

These tweets, however, only contain one note — that of hilarity. Today’s funniest posts include those about autocorrect errors, a brutalist buttplug and ‘for someone else’ tabs.

Uncle Female @unclefemme.3 3h idk who traumatized you but you don't UNCLE FEMALE need to pay me back for your $7 drink 60 4.1K 29K del 461K
Charles @wotancore.4h S ... In 2020 I said at a party that spelunking wasn't for me and this tall liberal guy started off on a tirade about how the term 'spelunking' was considered outdated and distasteful in the caveing community tomie @tomieinlove.16h Spelunking is funny because it's absurdly terrifying and dangerous but not even considered cool or sexy. Nobody says, Wow, he wriggles through caves, that's so hot. It's done purely for the love of the game. 202 20K 633K 441
L HOURLY shitpost @... . 1d s ... quieres Air Jordan I Retro High OG Men's Shoes $180 Highly Rated Pay Double or Nothing x DOUBLE Apple Card .... 1355 27 Fredrick Butte Rd, Brothers О... Pay NIKE $390.64 or Free Confirm with Side Button 74 546 23K 1M
Pearl Rose @hipearlrose.2 23h guy unmatched me on hinge because we got into an argument about economics. he said you cant shut someone down just because you disagree with them I said you can if theyre wrong 160 614 31K del 626K
Jenni @hashjenni 10h .. Me trying to leave things unsaid: leo @asifsirajj 13h AS BAD AS YOU WANNA ADDRESS IT!Some things are better left unsaid! 55 7.6K 29K du 1.2M
evil elly @laffodiI.2 23h my mom would beat your mom at candy crush 39 1.8K 14K 194K
NotRoPro @NotRoPro· 1d ... Erm... has anyone seen 9? 183 1.5K 33K 846K
claire yael @claireyael 23h S ... This weekend I was gifted 18 mosquito bites in less than 24 hours 15 12K 624 127K
Sopranos World @Soprano... 22h s ... Assessing the damage I did to my body this weekend 17 588K 1.1K 15K
michael vick @mikevick166.6h ... 7 Really good Labor Day Pinned Edit Steps 4:20 PM 95 steps 20 139 9.9K del 319K
Tom Zohar @TomZohar 1d s ... The mice when Cinderella went to the ball with the Fairy Godmother's dress instead of the one they made for her: annie @coryofilms.2d this video still cracks me up like why are they so awkward 0:02 92 7.5K 132K 3.3M
Millie @bumpasshell - 1d ... My dad said Paul from the Beatles is dead at dinner last night so assertively that we all stopped and looked at him in shock and he went on to say Не died in the 80s and was replaced- and everybody just groaned 30 1K 34K 480K
bren @drunkonhoping.1d G ... and didn't I do it for you... Science girl @gunsnrose... 2d Starfish dancing on a pole 22 16K 401K 1.1K
MR. ROBOT @chefcoleth... 1d s ... Mosquitoes when they see you have shorts on: Mads @MadsPosting. 1d Hell yeah MARIN 64 6K 61K 1.3M
Brian Graham @iroasmas.19h ... i don't understand why my cooking was garbage. i i did everything right. i drank wine while i cooked. i had a hand towel over my shoulder. literally everything right 72 2.2K 53K del 803K
respectful huff @alexqarbu... 13h . TRUMP : Avatar. Think about that. You leave your old body behind and become blue. You become blue and huge and beautiful. You ride dragon 12 799 14K 270K
Jenni @hashjenni.1 1d G ... how those extra 5 minutes of sleep feels 45 8.6K 84K 1M
Everything Out Of Conte... 21h ... The Detroit News man KENNEDY DEAD Slain in Car by Dallas Why is this guy at Starbucks reading a paper from 1963? 186 2.9K 87K 1.1M
Saltydkdan @saltydkdan 13h s ... The one guy in the zombie movie hiding the bite on his arm: @PopBase 1d Pop Base Donald Trump speaks on his health: NEVER FELT BETTER IN MY LIFE. Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump truthsocial.com/@DC_Draino/115.... NEVER FELT BETTER IN MY LIFE Also, DO IS A CRIME FREE ZONE! President DJT 367 ReTruths 1.59k Likes 8/31/25, 3:42 PM DC_Draino @CC_Draino Joe Biden would go multiple days at a time without any public appearances and the media would say he's sharp and top of his game Meanwhile he was wearing diapers and napping President Trump puts in more
tomas @edwizr. 5h O ... Pedro Pascal came into my work today & after he left a customer came up to me & said i took a pic of you' with him do you want it? so this is me i am on posing with Pedro Pascal the far right 832 114 31K 423K
Katya @katya_zamo 11h Breaking: Nice warm bowl of soup receives 18 minute standing ovation at Cannes 49 678 10K 183K
+ @reeceollld 17h $ Dear Apple, at no point will I ever text someone he'll yeah 35 1.3K 14K dJ 115K
rowan @calicosmall.1 1d Started working at an elementary school now I gotta get worm on a string earrings and shit like that 17 506 17K 158K
Popcornfan8998 @popcornf... 1d s ... I'll stick with popcorn 2d Images That Make You F... If they sold this in theaters instead of popcorn I'd be happy 401 2.3K 74K del 2M
bilatinman kio @kzzrttt.1 13h getting a random boner is a bit funny like what is it boy what do you see 40 1.8K 28K 322K
19h s ... Images AI Could Never R... YOU WON! Cash $1 Request i literally only have $3 Cash $3 Request Dead 9 657 18K 154K
Star Slop @starslopped.19h ... pls dont be mean to me bc i can be meaner and i hate being mean @nihilisa_ 8 4K 20K 302K
Sarah Osment @sm_osment.22h s ... my employer emailed me to congratulate me on my 4-year anniversary with a link to a button that said view recognition which takes you to a page that says you are recognized 621 4.3K 116K 5.1M
Pugmane @pugma... 9h s ... I'M IN HEAVEN NOW. so SORRY I DIED. Kyle Cheney @kyledche... 10h Unspecified Oval Office THE PRESIDENT makes announcement from Pool Trump tomorrow afternoon 8 518 12K 316K
Lukas Battle @lukasbattle- 18h A goodbye summer instagram dump but its just fifteen photos of me from the angle of a security camera having tummy time on my phone while it's noticeably 80 degrees and sunny outside the window 448 11K 132K
Karen Vaites @karenvaites 1d s ... PSA Nicholas Kircher 2d I know, I shouldn't tell people how to parent their children, but I cannot stay silent about this: Do NOT give your babies formulas. They cannot do math. You will only frustrate them. 9 314 9.3K del 114K
niya @niy2pretty.23h We're single not orphans teaa @teaaa_04.23h If you're single, who do you all have as your emergency contact? 130 5.3K 60K del 1.2M
Simon Sarris @simonsar... .22h 0 ... need a For Someone Else tab where I get to look at what other people's feeds look like 68 375 9.5K 164K
Bil @KillingSwiftly· 1d s ... the concept of Adele releasing a hOrny album when she turns 69 Albums 30 2021 25 2015 21 2011 ADELE21 19 2008 ADELE19 112 2.4K 74K 1.1M
Shitpost 2077 @shitpost_... 1d s ... Brutalist Buttplug. 325 7.1K 150K del 4.1M

Tags:

Scroll down for the next article
Forgot Password?