31 Stories from People’s Childhoods That Always Make Them Laugh

‘I WANT THE BIG AND NASTY ONE, MOMMY!’
31 Stories from People’s Childhoods That Always Make Them Laugh
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There’s probably an occurrence from each and every one of our childhoods that brings a smile to our face whenever it pops up in our consciousness. Unless you grew up in like, an iPhone factory. In which case, hey, keep it light, would you?

Now, thanks to Redditors, those moments can be shared with the greater population, in case you’re in need of a pick-me-up. Below is a collection of all-timer dinner-table tales from people around the world, built to provide a momentary, blissful distraction. Even if some of them did, admittedly, result in bodily harm. Broken eggs, omelette and so on.

Ipadgameisweak 7y ago My friends and I were hanging out in the hall way of our high school. The floors were made of concrete or something that had been worn smooth over the years. A friend of mine with a smirk dropped the banana peel from his breakfast on the ground. My other friend Steve said, That doesn't really work in real life you know! To which he responded, So go ahead. My friend Steve proceeded to line himself up and then do an extremely cocky arm swinging walk and when he stepped on the banana peel his body flew
chitowntopugetsound 7y ago | was screaming the house down because I was suddenly completely blind, then my grandma flung open the door and I could see her in her nightgown illuminated in the doorway.. Turns out I just was used to city lights, so when I woke up in the middle of the night at her house in rural Wisconsin my eyes didn't adjust quickly enough and my 7 year old repitilain brain let loose. My cousin who was sleeping beside me still reminds me of this incident.
Aloretta_Dethly . 7y ago I kept a very messy room as a kid. My dad came to tuck me in but didn't turn the light on. As he went to leave he stepped in an empty plastic container which then slid across the carpet throwing him off balance, obviously tensing up to get his balance he let out this massive fart. I still cry laughing when I think about it.
taboulispeck . 7y ago . Edited 7y ago When I was in an airport bathroom at about the age of four, I asked my mom if it was possible to poop out my bones. It had been such a big concern of mine, enough to bring me to tears.
Bailthazar 7y ago When my older sister and I were very young (about 4 and 8 maybe?) we and some neighborhood children were talking about which kind of Native American we had in us. My sister sent me to ask my mom. Well, she was in the middle of a conversation with her friends and either I thought she was talking to me or she was just being an ass, but either way the answer I got from her was 'Lesbians'. I ran outside and up the sidewalk and yelled (Sister's name), WE'RE LESBIANS! My family still laughs about it.
Happenedherebychance 7y ago Someone gave me a real Boomerang when I was 11 which was my favorite thing. We lived in a semi rural area so there was plenty of room to throw it around without it getting damaged or it damaging anything. Anyway if you're really skillful with these things apparently you can get them to come back to you. I was not a good throw so I was constantly throwing running and picking it up throwing again. One day the planets aligned I pulled my arm back and flung it as hard as I could, It was a
NoWasExpected 7y ago When | was little we went to McDonald's my mom told me I could have a normal sized meal because I didn't want to be a little kid and get a happy meal all over again. So I look up and see that they have the 'big and tasty' burger, but I somehow didn't read it at that. When I went to order I exclaimed loudly I WANT THE BIG AND NASTY ONE MOMMY. GIMME THE BIG AND NASTY ONE. The clerk was holding back tears and so was my mother. She then corrected me and I
ShoTz25 7y ago I was playing basketball alone one day. Ball went right next to a guy riding a bike and so he tried to grab it for me with one hand. Well when he went to lean over, he turned the handlebar with his other hand. Went over the front of his handlebars and landed face first on the cement. Dude was trying to do something nice for me so I had to hold back my laughter. Не was fine but super embarrassed. After he left I couldn't stop laughing.
GaryNOVA . 7y ago Edited 7y ago My uncle couldn't find the chocolate syrup in our refrigerator. It was stuck to the back of the milk. So every time he took the milk out to look behind it, the syrup would go right along with it. Не started getting so frustrated and we all could see what was happening every time he did it. Now any time something goes missing in the house we ask did you check the back of the milk?
Edit: There was also the time when grandma lost her marbles. She was just sitting there one day and said II You know what I can't seem to find? Those old marbles I use to have. We all kind of paused and then burst out laughing.
MsLambLambs 7y ago When I was six, my grandpa took me into a large department store to shop for some new clothes. I was utterly bored and uninterested, and did the kid thing and hid in some clothing racks. Well, one thing led to another, and I ended up knocking over a rack. Would have been bad enough, by itself, but the store had all of their clothes racks lined up just right to create what my immediate family calls The Great Domino Racks - every rack in the men's section knocks into another, and another, and another, until the whole section
AWildBearWow 7y ago I was helping put siding on a house. Helping as in handing tools and tacks. Up on the ladder was my mom's boyfriend. Great dude, funny, but he had this tiny mahogany hammer I'll never forget. Не forgot he left it on top of the ladder, went to move it and guess what came falling? That little hammer. The sound it made when the wooden handle hit the top of his head and made the funniest doink sound. I still laugh about it.
gigabytestarship 7y ago My father, who is a very mellow and mature man now, had anger issues into his 30s. Не was known to sometimes throw small temper tantrums. When I was 5, we lived in an old mobile home with horrible flooring. After he got off work, my mother asked him to take out the trash. Не threw a temper tantrum, stomped and fell through the kitchen floor. My mom laughed her ass off. Не became even madder and she said, That's what you get for acting like a big baby!
mlepinos 7y ago I remember when I discovered that when I wore satin pj's I could slide on satin bedsheets. This was so cool and fun to 10 year old me and I had to call my mum to come and watch me. She comes into the room and I run as fast as I can onto the bed and slide across it and then continue sliding off the bed and landing in the open wardrobe upside down. I was laughing and crying at the same time and I still get teased for it.
thewidowgorey 7y ago It's Christmas Eve mass and none of us want to be there, but it's the 90s and it was that time when mom and dad had to convince themselves and us it was important to go to church. We're in the bad seats because the C&Es have showed up and squished us all out, and one of the nuns has the microphone so she could speak to the children. She asked, what is a birthday? Do you know what a birthday is? And my eight year old brother grumbles to himself, it's another year closer to death.
7y ago camstorys I asked my father once if he could cut the watermelon for me. Не was happy to do it, he placed the watermelon on a plate with such confidence. Не took a cooking knife and did this ultra-confident swing to cut the watermelon. Instantly, the watermelon was cut in half but so was the plate. We just burst into tears! We laugh so loudly and for a long time... Не was so confident about it but just completly forgot to use a wooden cutting board. Wow.
Kheprisun 7y ago I had a big old afro when I was a teenager. One day, my buddy and I were out for a bike ride in some posh neighborhood, and some girl across the street also on a bike is just staring slack-jawed at my hair. She rode right into a telephone pole.
Fredsslackss 7y ago | used to get home from the bus stop about 15-20 minutes before my dad. We had snow piled up almost to the top of our wooden fence (Minnesota, typical) so I decided I wanted to play on it. I ended up slipping and one of the fence posts got caught under my coat and left me dangling. I tried so hard to stand up but couldn't catch any grip. When my dad came home, there was his daughter just hanging out, tired and defeated, patiently waiting for his help.
Uhhlaneuh . 7y ago Grandma made pancakes for my little cousin- probably around 6 at the time. Cousin says what kind of piece crap pancakes are these?
7y ago Its 2004 im 10 years old my brother is 6, we are home alone , im watching some boring thing on nat geo, i decide to go to the corner store to buy bacon and eggs to make breakfast, i i have a 15 minute discussion W my little bro telling him how he WILL NOT go outside when im gone under NO circumstance, not to answer door, etc, but most importantly to NOT GO OUTSIDE WHILE IM gone. Start making my way to corner store walking (about 6 min walk) halfway notice my brother jogging towards me, im
jaha7649 7y ago 10 years old trick or treating in town on Halloween night with two friends. My one friend happy as ever is swinging his candy bag as he crosses the street. It sufdenly bursts from the bottom, scattering his precious candy all over the road. His demeanor immediately changes from joyfulness to extreme terror. My other friend unleashes his max-volume, contagious Joker-like laugh causing me to laugh so hard I collapsed to the ground. Simultaneously a car turns onto the road as if to threaten the possibility of salvaging the candy. Candy explosion friend starts screaming, HELP ME!
7y ago I was making macaroni and cheese once and I hear my mom running and yelling something to my dad who was outside. I turned around just in time to see her bounce off the screen door. She ran right into it and flew backwards. She had all these smudges on her face and she looked so bewildered .....20 years later and it still cracks me up.
Uhhlaneuh 7y ago My cousin had really bad adhd as a kid, and we went on a family vacation to Disney World. We were in line for the Flying Dumbo ride, and he ran through the line before it stopped and Dumbos ear hit him right in the eye. After Disney World, we went on a cruise in the big red boat. Took a family picture together. There's a family photo with us, and I'm scowling because I had to wear socks with my dress shoes, and my cousin has a huge black eye. It was great.
MeggieAC 7y ago nuo When I was 12 my mom took me and two friends out to the small local year round park type thing for my birthday. They had rides and a huge Imax theater. We had gone to lunch at a local pizza place and were walking back to the amusement park and I was holding a small pizza box with my pizza leftovers. While walking, I was trying to talk my friend into going on a specific ride with me. I was explaining that the only feeling you get is the centrifugal force and a small jerk
Sgt-Tibbs . 7y ago I got my butt stuck in a dining room chair. I was a small child and slipped my legs through the back rung trying to be funny. I ended up getting stuck and not being able to get out. My dad ended up having to saw the bottom rung off, I was worried he was going to saw my butt off. Не put it back and you were never able to tell which chair it happened to, but left me with a story that they won't let me live down.
lemonwife 7y ago My sister figured out she was a lesbian around the age of 12. After that self realization she became very openly lesbian, like the gayest gay you ever did see (which is brave for Georgia but just wait). That year at thanksgiving my grandparents from Derby (yes Derby) Kansas were in town. Following the annual tradition my family went around the thanksgiving table saying things we were thankful for (our health, food, stuff like that) and then comes my sisters turn and in front of both my grandparents she proudly proclaims, I AM THANKFUL FOR BIG BOOBS.
Hysterymystery 7y ago My brother is autistic and had a lot of routines that were very important to him. One was that after school every day, he would take his watch in one hand and his favorite box fan in the other and go out to my mom's car and sit in the car in the garage with those two items for like 20 minutes. She was usually home at that hour so he had regular access to the vehicle. But at some point, | got older and she was comfortable leaving him home with me babysitting. The first day
Mayitachan 7y ago Edited 7y ago | am and was quite fat, on a family trip, we went to a historic town in my country and we saw some nice totems, one of them was in the middle of the street and my mom wanted to take a picture with me and said totem. The totem was a short, chubby grey one and I was wearing a grey T-shirt, when my mom revealed the picture (this was before digital cameras) it looked like my lost twin. My brother lost his breath when he saw it.
LAFC_GhOuL 7y ago My dad sat me down to talk about the divorce. We were outside and sitting in the curb. As we're having this serious discussion, I notice my dad has sat on a fire ant hill. I try to tell him, but he insists that I wait while he says what he needs to say. About 3 seconds later, his eyes light up as the ant begin to bite. At this point I should mention that he was wearing a pair of all white shorts, so we could clearly see this massive amount of ants all over him.
Slothasaurus-rex . 7y ago Flipping sleeping bags so our heads were in the feet area. We would commence attacking each other and call it slug wars. Once, we all stopped except for one kid who was attacking an ottoman with his full strength. Still laughing to this day.
dualsplit 7y ago My dad worked nights. So he was sleeping when we girls got up at 6 am. There was a mouse in my room. I screamed. My sisters started screaming. Mom started yelling at us to stop screaming because dad is sleeping! Dad woke up. Не marched downstairs in his briefs, we NEVER saw dad in his underwear. Не and my mom are prude about that. Не also had the walking farts. So we're already eyeballing each other and trying not to laugh. Не tore my room apart in nothing but his undies, grumbling and tooting the whole

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