30 Anti-Humor Jokes to Crack A Frown At

‘What do you get if you mix a horse and a tortoise?’
30 Anti-Humor Jokes to Crack A Frown At

What even makes something a joke, really? It’s a difficult question, but after reading the following anti-jokes, you’ll know one thing for sure: It’s not whatever these are. Infuriate a close friend with the world’s most punitive form of comedy.

CRACKED Why do fish live underwater? So they can breathe.
CRACKED What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
CRACKED What do you call a talking dinosaur? Barney.
CRACKED What do you call the person in charge of a candy factory? The manager.
CRACKED How many countries speak English? Zero. Countries don't speak.
CRACKED A pigeon walks into a bar. They shoo it outside and close the door.
CRACKED What do you call a human in a cage at the zoo? A zookeeper.
CRACKED Great Clown Pagliacci walks into his psychiatrist's office. His therapist says, Don't you have a show tonight?
CRACKED What is blue and looks like a couch? My couch.
CRACKED What do you call a man falling asleep at a bar? A cab.
CRACKED What's green and very hard to find? Surge soda, which has long been discontinued.
CRACKED When birds fly in a V, why is one side longer than the other? More birds on that side.
CRACKED Why do they put blue hats on baby boys? To keep their heads warm.
CRACKED Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other, We can never tell anyone about this.
CRACKED What was the worst part about being on the Titanic? The accident.
CRACKED What did one surgeon say to the other at a party? So, Ann tells me we're both surgeons.
CRACKED Why wasn't the astronaut allowed on the spaceship? It was a different mission.
CRACKED What's the scariest part of being a French soldier? Knowing you might not come home.
CRACKED What do you a medical student that graduated last in their class? Doctor.
CRACKED What's the difference between a horse and a tricycle? Almost everything.
CRACKED What would Santa Claus be called if he had no hands? Probably still Santa Claus.
CRACKED What's orange and tastes fruity? An orange.
CRACKED What's worse than eating an apple with a worm in it? Eating a worm that's not in an apple.
CRACKED What would happen if every human lined up on the equator? Most of them would drown.
CRACKED What do you get if you mix a horse and a tortoise? A terrible smoothie.
CRACKED How can you tell if it's snowing from your bedroom? The window.
CRACKED What's larger than two football fields? The universe.
CRACKED Why did little Jimmy get sent home from school? Pertussis, also known as whooping cough.
CRACKED What's something you never want to hear a doctor say? We've done all we can.
CRACKED When the child got lost at the mall, how'd they find him? Pretty upset, for starters.

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