35 of the Funniest Tweets from Tuesday, August 5, 2025

‘I just took the Presidential fitness test & got Grover Cleveland :/’
35 of the Funniest Tweets from Tuesday, August 5, 2025

On Monday, the Paddy’s Pub Gang rang in two decades of scheming, scamming, and plotting, while the FX sitcom it was partnered with at the time marked a much less impressive milestone: twenty years since its first and only season premiere. 

Starved, which was centered around a group of friends all struggling with eating disorders (can you think of a more knee-slappable premise?), actually managed to beat It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia at its own black humor game. Its prize? An onslaught of criticism. The show was panned as “an R-rated episode of Seinfeld” by NPR, a comment we promise they meant derogatorily, and some psychiatrists denounced the series as “dangerous.”  

Speaking of shady remarks, Seth MacFarlane’s made headlines this week. The Family Guy creator channeled his inner Connie D’Amico and offered one hell of a backhanded compliment to South Park while subtly hyping up his own show in the wake of the show’s Season 27 premiere. “It’s pretty incredible that it’s, yeah, any show that lasts that long is pretty astounding,” MacFarlane said during a recent appearance on The Town with Matthew Belloni. “Our shows take about 10 months to a year to produce each episode, so we have to really kind of guess what the world is going to look like, which obviously gets harder and harder.”

The people of Twitter, however, are totally sincere about making you laugh. Today’s funniest tweets include those about realistic monthly budgeting, the embarrassment of getting sunburnt and a choose-your-own-dystopia.

Agita Christie @pagan_hoetry 2h s ... Having a sunburn is so humiliating. Now everyone knows I was unprepared for the realities of the wilderness. It marks me as the weakest link. The hungry animals are closing in 10 724 15K 289K
Pastor Kyle. @itsqail - 4h Ok my budget for the rest of August is $9 12 3.1K 19K dJ 594K
Sesame Chiccen @Loccd... .4h s ... Go play the lottery right now mom @anasjahere 4h i just cracked 3, double yolks in a row 21 879K 3.1K 57K
Perc @PercThaGoat.4h ... Gerran Harris ... Jan 22 ... Uber Eats need a airplane. I wanna order something from New Orleans Like Comment Share 4.9K 22,586 Shares 1K 43 8.3K 235K
GLUMP Mike @PenisTickler46-15h doing stand-up and saying im just joking after every joke 28 707 13K 238K
@fleshsimulat... . 15h s ... SimuDyne Diddy's about to go out like Bin Laden Justin Bieber @justinbie... 21h 35 713 16K 804K
thandi beer Follow @dnfslvtt dating to marry dude you're 19 relax 10:37AM 8/4/25 703K Views 393 3.8K 40K 1K
P* 4 @filmzwanda.12h ... need Finally got the whole set 4 58 3.1K 87K 720K
Jakob @jakedc6-12h S ... the holy trinity of scoreboard spellings P JONES O P:4 O P A's 0 1-2 1 S O H O M 0 107 2.6K 50K del 2M
Redd iRiS @ReddCinema 22h S ... Bill Clinton went home to this every day and still decided to cheat Aries @ihyaries . 1 1d i'm crying #GRAMMYs 394 2.4K 103K dJ 10M
j. deere hoosier @D....1 18h ... i just took the presidential fitness test & JOHN DEERE GREEN got grover cleveland :/ 30 721 15K 309K
Vape God AA @To... .19h s ... Tommy Smokes I respect the hell out of this billboard. No jokes. Nobody using the product. Doesn't even make sense really. Just the name of the company and a picture of Timothee Chalamet. What else do you need Cash App $ $ Cash App EXCEPT DELIVERIES THIS BLOCK Christophe ONE MAY ONE WAY VILLAG CIGRPS VILLAGE VIII ! AND GARS CHC SPEED RS LIMIT 97 632 24K the 623K
hunter @hunter_hhhh 13h started playing stardew valley with my girlfriend cause i thought it would be a cute thing for us to do together but it turns out she has over 400 hours logged and is running our farm like the navy 281 12K 219K del 4M
@unniemara.19h i'm under a lot of the same conditions that made squidward so mean 6 2.1K 16K 418K
dinosaur @dinosaurs1969.14h s ... she wants me to sit in the cook chair while she makes dinner for me fame 14 406 7K the 161K
TTI @TikTokInvestors - 7h S ... Im so tired of using Microsoft Authenticator + everytime. Like who would willing log in to do my work for me 81.3K ... 680 1,319 an 7 C de И 2.1K 24K 7 492K
Perc @PercThaGoat.10h eating the salt in a pretzel bag 15 506 7.9K del 108K
Haunted Cave @dodgyfigure. 1d s ... Do you think in China they post like this about hamburgers and marlboro reds bubble boi @bubblebaby....1 1d Imagine pulling this out after some hot pot and tasting the spirit of a nation en # ... OR T 100 29K 981 511K
shanifest it @lieslvanderpu... 15h s ... The concept of locking in on a Monday... girl that's what Tuesdays are for 2 820 9.4K del 155K
freddie @freddie_hndnxx-17h O ... PILL I CAN HEAR THE MUSIC WITHIN MY SKULL freddie @freddie_hndnxx-17h NoiseCanceling^C SONY Wireless / I 1 H I I 5 | alexa buttle 360 AUDIO AUTHOR 30h I Cana SONY WH-1000XM4 69 691 17K 291K
pasta salad @bitchwife420.1 15h Life is so simple when you do 2 coffees + no breakfast + no lunch + huge dinner 36 887 10K 222K
Miranda @MirandaevaM - 1d I'm so glad as a generation we all agreed to stop ironing our clothes 1K 7.1K 71K 1.8M
Janel Comeau s ... @VeryBa... 13h can't believe we opted for 1984 dystopia (surveillance and denial of historical fact) and Fahrenheit 451 dystopia (erosion of literacy) instead of Brave New World dystopia (everyone gets fucked up on government-sanctioned drugs and goes to the movies all the time) 114 3.5K 27K 444K
Aleph @woke8yearold2 20h .. we live among the ruins of a fallen civilization 186 693 8.8K 174K
Koco Caine's Straw @tyjnick• 17h s ... Heyyyy! I'm sorry the what quiz? Margaret Qualley Updates 1d Margaret Qualley covers @Cosmopolitan's latest issue! COSN LITAN The Anniversary The New Issue Casual: Hot Sex, + No Sleepovers JT Reneé Rapp 69% Manny Jacinto Chase Sui of You Wonders Say Sex KJ Apa Scenes Madelyn Cline Don't Suni Lee Need Holly This Humberstone Olivia Dean Quiz! SenLinYu Finn Gooning Wolfhard on the Lola Young First Date & More LOVE & LEGACY WITH Margaret Qualley P.S. Blind Dates Are Back! 7 346 320K 10K
@evotuo o.14h S ... rate the room It's Fall at first sip GHOST Flounder PEPPER Judio Queborn Fish OF Apple was Liberty I SANDWICH New Sandwich NEW it / $5.99 $499 Crisp Apple & Tart Cranberry LUCID 269 1.9K 26K 401K
dc @skefhaus 12h A random 16 year old found my license this weekend and is telling me, with his full government name, that he's stealing my identity over instagram Anyway i texted his mom 29 1.1K 54K 551K
shirts that go hard @shir... 21h O ... SHiRTS THAT GO HARD CARGO PANTS? UHHHH NO BUDDY, CAR GO BEEP BEEP. YOU FEELING ALRIGHT MAN? 36 2.1K 43K 1.4M
Invis @invis4yo 12h ... me leaving work at 5pm without saying bye to anyone 13 836 15K 487K
Ashley White I Chicago Est... 10h s .... accidentally ate shellfish last night and my ex stabbed me with my epi pen with a little too much force 67 2.2K 94K 1.2M
G ... @ced_jayy. 19h Cjay Landlord just knocked on my door and asked if I had bought a dog @idontf3el . 19h Parody account no words, just dua lipa & margot robbie RGO Ly 69 J 1K 25K del 1.7M
Ansh G ... @Pvt_insaann 18h I can never go on a museum date with my girlfriend because what if they don't allow me to take her back home, since she's a work of art that should be displayed on a museum wall? Sun @Diorgirlx Aug 3 museum dates>> 206 1.7K 12K 503K
ru @ruscvre 19h G... how i expect my waist to look like after a 7 minute ab workout: 6.1K 11 58K del 546K
TERRANCE @__Terrance___ 8h O ... Showered , Air on 65°F, Raining outside, Phone on DND, and Stomach Full 39 2.1K 14K 353K
tanya @Tanya_Sabrinaaa 13h ... just taught the guy i'm dating about chewing his food, he no longer chokes during every meal he is so cute i love him sm 43 326 10K 165K

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