31 Anti-Humor Jokes That Would Be Impossible to Explain to An Alien

‘What’s green and has wheels?’
31 Anti-Humor Jokes That Would Be Impossible to Explain to An Alien
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Some people are fans of dry humor, while others go beyond the realm of dry humor and tell jokes so desiccated of any sort of mirth that they’re barely jokes at all. 

If that’s you, you’ll probably enjoy the following collections of anti-jokes. If they make you laugh, great. If not, well, they’re barely jokes, so what did you expect?

CRACKED Why don't they say I love you in France? Because they speak French.
CRACKED A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, why the long face? Horse says, Evolution.
CRACKED If Kurt Cobain was still alive... I bet he'd be clawing at the inside of his casket.
CRACKED Why were T-Rexes so bad at basketball? Because it wouldn't be invented for millions of years.
CRACKED What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.
CRACKED How do you make a plumber cry? Bear spray.
CRACKED What do a bird and a worm have in common? They both live underground. Well, not the bird.
CRACKED Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory? Layoffs caused by outsourcing.
CRACKED What has two legs, and isn't too happy about it? Half a cat.
CRACKED Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.
CRACKED What's red and fluffy? Red fluff.
CRACKED A man asks the waiter, What's this fly doing in my soup? The waiter said, Oh my god, I'll get you a new soup.
CRACKED What's black, red, and going 60 miles per hour? A dead fly on a windshield.
CRACKED Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, and we can't ask him.
CRACKED What did Grandma give Bobby for Christmas? Nothing, they're Jewish.
CRACKED Two clowns are sitting in a car. Thirty minutes later, they arrive at the party.
CRACKED A rabbi, a priest, and an imam sit at a hotel bar. They discuss how much they're enjoying the theology convention.
CRACKED What do doctors agree you should never eat? A bullet.
CRACKED What do you never want to see in your backyard? A tsunami.
CRACKED What did the catholic priest say at the AA meeting? Hi, I'm John, and I'm an alcoholic.
CRACKED Why do you never see a vampire and a lawyer in the same room? Vampires don't exist.
CRACKED What would Michael Jackson look like on the moon? Still dead.
CRACKED What's the difference between a mountain goat and a pitching wedge? A lot.
CRACKED How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on their height, and how careful they're being.
CRACKED What do you get a sick child for Christmas? Something nice, given the circumstances.
CRACKED What do you call an animal that's green and eats rocks? A green rockeater, maybe.
CRACKED What's the difference between quantum physics and a banana? I wouldn't know.
CRACKED Opinions are like assholes. They're both nouns.
CRACKED A blonde walks out of a hair salon. She loves the new color.
CRACKED What did the orphan get for christmas? Exactly what he asked his attentive and loving adoptive parents for.
CRACKED If pro and con are opposites, what's the opposite of progress? Regression.

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