31 Anti-Jokes to Mildly Frustrate You, But in A Good Way

‘What do you call a parrot with three heads?’
31 Anti-Jokes to Mildly Frustrate You, But in A Good Way
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A joke? A regular joke? What are you, some sort of simpleton? 

No, no, you’re very intelligent and can see past such simple attempts at humor. Predictable jokes spread and dissect themselves before your very eyes like the code in The Matrix. What you need and desire is an anti-joke. A joke that, despite being easily memorable and repeatable at a party, indicates you’re a special ex-gifted child with a grasp on meta-humor. 

Here’s a selection to pocket for impressing friends of friends…

CRACKED What do a helicopter and a refrigerator have in common? Neither one's a banana.
CRACKED What's white and annoying at breakfast? An avalanche.
CRACKED How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.
CRACKED Why are there so few murders in Iceland? Because it's illegal.
CRACKED Why did the doctor bring a ladder to work? To reach the top shelf in his office.
CRACKED What's red and not there? Invisible strawberries.
CRACKED What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
CRACKED What do you call a burrito with no filling? A tortilla.
CRACKED What do a helicopter and a refrigerator have in common? Neither one's a banana.
CRACKED What do you call an old snowman? Water.
CRACKED Why do flamingos lift one leg? If they lifted both, they'd fall over.
CRACKED Why were the two lawyers arguing? It's their job.
CRACKED What's yellow and hard to drink? A schoolbus.
CRACKED What did one German say to the other at the supermarket? No idea. I don't speak German.
CRACKED A horse walks into a bar. The bartender sees him and says: Is that a f**king horse?
CRACKED A priest and a rabbi are out fishing. Says the rabbi to the priest, Thank you for inviting me.
CRACKED What do you call a man with no arms or legs? An ambulance.
CRACKED What do you call a blind air traffic controller? An accident waiting to happen.
CRACKED What's blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.
CRACKED How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.
CRACKED What do you call a cat with two heads? Highly unusual.
CRACKED A man tells his therapist, Doc, my wife's driving me nuts! Says the therapist, Tell me more.
CRACKED What began at the end of 1776? 1777.
CRACKED What's something you never want to see at a buffet? A mob execution.
CRACKED What do Babe Ruth and Dracula have in common? They're both dead.
CRACKED What do you call a parrot with 3 heads? Annoying.
CRACKED What do you call a fly with no wings? An injured fly.
CRACKED What do you get when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea? A wet rock.
CRACKED Where does a turtle park his car? In his garage.
CRACKED Where was the Constitution signed? At the bottom.
CRACKED What did Benjamin Franklin say when he discovered electricity? Set-up in Source Serif 4. Nothing. Не was too shocked to speak. Punchline in open sans regular.

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