32 of the Funniest Ways Someone Quit Their Job

‘Proceeded to climb on roof. Dropped trou’
32 of the Funniest Ways Someone Quit Their Job
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It’s the final indignity of a job that even quitting has to be done politely and with deference. The moment that you claw back your independence from a dead-end job still has to come with a plastered-on smile and a gracious thank you, lest your references suffer. Not to mention the fact that you’re more than likely stuck there for two more weeks after giving notice.

Sometimes, though, a job or boss is so horrible, it feels like a necessary part of the healing process to exit with a bit of grandeur. Keeping the “fuck you” that’s been stewing in your belly for months, if not years, tamped down can’t be good for your health. Of course, it’s nothing but excited glee for those of us unable to do so when we get to watch someone leave a job with all the grace of an elephant shitfaced off a barrel of moonshine. 

Keep reading for some of Reddit’s best funny quitting stories, and live vicariously through them if needed.

The_MonBear 9y ago My wife worked for a certain chain coffee shop a few years back. She got another job, so requested reduced hours. This didn't happen for 3 straight weeks. During that third week, she had a soccer mom from hell try to get her attention, by throwing fucking snowballs at her through the drive-thru window. My wife then stopped what she was doing and tossed this soccer mom's iced tea at her (which exploded everywhere) and slammed the window. 5 minutes later she had written her letter of resignation, with the only things she could find: a purple
There was only one other teller aside from us and when it got busy, supervisor usually had to jump in as well (and usually hated it). It felt like we were constantly short staffed and days when 1 person would call out sick or be on vacation would suck. Being down 2 people was the worst. Naturally when we both got hired, it became a race to see who could turn in their two weeks notice first. Не printed his off and raced into GM's office, walking out with a big smile. GM calls me in and offers me full
Cypher1710 9y ago Wrote a normal letter of resignation before I got in the shower one morning. Nbd. Got into the office and was straight ignored by management. Oh well, told you when my last day was. Fast forward 3 days they pull me into a conference room to ask what it would take to keep me. I say nothing but don't want to ruin them (sole IT manager for a staff of 70) and would be willing to consult part time. They liked that idea and said they'd be willing to pay me my current hourly as a consultant.
AnotherCleverGuy . 9y ago My boss was never in the office and wasn't even there for me to turn in my resignation.. So | took a video of me dancing on his desk and singing about how he's never there and sent it to his boss.
Instead of leaving, I went around the side of the building to a pay phone and called the radio station request line. In a fake Southern accent, I said, Hey y'all, I just told my cheap, no good, lying piece of human garbage boss to go to hell. Play me out with, Take this Job and Shove It, and dedicate it to my former boss, Wes! The disc jockey had no idea what had just happened in the lobby, or that my Wes was the Wes, so he enthusiastically played my recorded dedication and added, This one is for you
Focie . 9y ago Someone at my previous workplace (a huge grocery store in a large mall) went to the PA system we use to issue nessages to the whole mall, and said something along the lines of dear customers, managers and co-workers. | fucking quit, and then proceeded to leave.
InternetSpaceship 9y ago I wrote a respectful letter thanking them for the opportunity and all they've taught me. The first letter of every sentence spelled out Fuck <boss>. Nobody noticed.
daveyb86 . 9y ago I knew someone who worked in a really shitty call centre. His boss never had time for anyone. When he went to tell his boss that he was leaving, the boss waved him out of the room as he was on a call. So he wrote I quit on a post-it note, stuck it on the boss's screen and just walked out.
Your_Lower_Back 9y ago Edited 9y ago I used to work for my Father. It was probably the worst time of my life. Не treated me like absolute shit, paid me very poorly, and made me work 70+ hours a week. I was young, just out of high school, and I complained about my predicament quite a lot. His response was always if you don't like it, there's the door. 6 months before I quit, he made me run his night shift, which meant 6PM -6:30AM monday through saturday. I was very unhappy about this, so I applied for another job.
One night its come closing, we are grabbing our coats and getting ready to leave after a really busy day and the store manager storms in, telling us how shes lowered the shutters and wont let us leave untill we have helped her finish the one job she had all day to do COS her aunt is doing a surprise inspection in the morning. Everyone is pissed, esp the people who have had to watch her do literally nothing all day. She turns spiteful, threatening to delay our pays, dock our wages etc etc. All bullshit. For one woman it
jphiz . 9y ago During my exit interview I told HR the real reason I was leaving was due to the quality of the office chairs. I said they were an eyesore, uncomfortable and made me ashamed to come to work and resulted in sub-par job satisfaction. Two weeks later I was told by previous со- workers everyone got brand new, top of the line office chairs.
. 9y ago My job at Chick-Fil-A had a tradition of pieing people in the face on their last day. Now I was the manager and didn't trust the kids not to pie me when taking a complaint or during a rush or something, so I promised them if they'd wait until close in the parking lot, and if they got done cleaning on time, we'd do something special. So I present to you: The Pie Gauntlet
Leumas 9y ago I posted this not that long ago, but it fits here... Worked in a video store when there was such a thing. My co-worker showed up very, very high. Не was also about 6'3 and 140 pounds, so he stood out in a crowd to begin with. Anyway, he came in for a 4 hour shift, stood in the middle of our bank of checkout registers...and just ate chips. Like, 6 bags of chips back to back, and he ate them SLOW, and savored the shit out of each bite. The whole time he had zero facial
sunrein 9y ago At 16 I worked at a Dairy Queen Brazier in Texas. My Manager, was a jerk. One night, I sliced a good chunk of my thumb off because they did not have the proper safety equipment. After being out of work for 3 weeks, I returned to work. My thumb was still pretty screwed up, but I was trying. My Manager kept riding my ass, telling me I had to move faster (I was the only short order cook). When I saw three GreyHound buses pull up, I knew I was in trouble. She came back into
definitelynotme_ 9y ago Worked in the cinema as a teenager. Came in late for work after they changed my schedule during my days off and didn't think to mention it to me. Boss lost it and started shouting at me, as far as I'm concerned if you need to shout | ain't listening. So let her rant away for a good 15 mins while I was at my locker clearing it out. When it finally clicked that I wasn't listening or getting ready to work she stopped and asked what I'm doing I said I going to see lotr with
Prettygoodpizza 9y ago I wrote my two week notice on a condolence card that said, I can't comprehend the depth of your loss. Saw someone else do it online, ordered my own and held onto it until a better job offer came along. It went over well.
9y ago I managed to find a telemarketing job as one of my first jobs. It sucked and we were treated like animals, but it was close enough that | could walk there from home. | only intended to stay long enough to afford a car. One day, I realized that I had reached my set dollar amount for a car purchase. As a joke, I strayed as far from the sales pitch as possible. I changed my greeting to things like Hey. or 'Sup? I impersonated celebrity voices. People stopped working around me. They just listened in shock.
9y ago Worked at Arby's. When I planned to quit I typed up a formal letter of resignation and put it in an envelope. I walked in and handed my boss the envelope and she said ARE YOU QUITTING? I stammered No!!! as I walked backwards out the door and booked it out of there. I wasn't very good with confrontation back then.
ssuperhanzz G 9y ago had me on a disciplinary My boss was a for something that wasnt my fault, and had my bonus taken off me. So i found a new job, threw out £2,500 worth of stock as technically the food hadn't been stored away correctly, went above my boss and got head offices backing, then handed my notice in, knowing that id fucked his bonus up to . . FUCK. THAT. GUY.
LasersAndRobots 9y ago Not my story, but one a coworker told me. The guy who it turned out I had replaced knew he was going to be fired and wanted to quit ahead of time in style. So he enlisted the help of the guy who told the story, and spent the entire day fashioning a suit of Spartan armor out of cardboard boxes in the back. Then, right as they were closing (because he was still a decent guy and didn't want to make a scene) he donned his armor, walked up to the atone manager, saluted with his
Tmon_of_QonoS . 9y ago . Edited 9y ago I worked over nights at a gas station through college. After being scheduled to work my 3rd Christmas in a row, on Christmas morning, I gave my boss a card that said I QUIT!!!
9y ago Not me, but a great story. One guy I worked with hired a mariachi band to follow him into our bosses office. Unfortunately for him the boss was on vacation so he ended up quitting over the phone and was so pissed he spent the $300 on the band.
folkyea 9y ago A guy from my work years ago came in high and the boss figured it out. She brought him into the office to fire him and with a cop to escort him out. For his final stand, he came real close to her face and said In a world of darkness, where you carried the only light. I still wouldn't follow you and left.
My wife meanwhile skips two days at her shitty call center. The HR manager calls asking if she's ok. I'm not sure, I think I having a vision problem A vision problem? Oh no! Are you okay? What kind of vision problem? I just can't see myself ever going to work there ever again.
9y ago I had a part-time student job in college as music director in a small church. Everything was fine until they hired a new minister who preached long, annoying sermons in which he either condemned gay people or talk about the evils of birth control. | finally couldn't stand it any more and told him (as I handed in my 2-week notice) that his one-hour harangues reached the point where the ear can absorb only as much as the rear can endure.
Landlubber77 . 9y ago My friend quit Taco Bell right in the middle of his shift by writing FUCK YOU, I'M OUT on the floor with the big sour cream gun.
. 9y ago First job. Boss was a douche that liked to sexually harass the girls. Most girls were my friends. Got screamed at for something I didn't do. Proceeded to climb on roof. Dropped trow and pissed from roof onto his brand new Mustang. | hope you're reading this. Fuck you, Dave.
TheGreekitaliano 9y ago When I was in high school, I worked for Best Buy as a cashier. I wasn't respected as an employee, and found a better opportunity at another company. So I went to work in my pajamas (on Black Friday), and my boss looked at me in shock and said You need to change.. You can't come to work looking like this.. I then told her I was leaving and only came to get my paycheck. I wish I can express the look on her face and everyone else that was working that day. It was such a
RhusPeg 9y ago 17 year old me has just finished college and was planning to go to uni, I had a job in Tops Tiles. This was my first job so I usually got all the overtime as I wanted to impress, the manager was a sleazy gay guy who would try to hit on me as he knew it made me uncomfortable. I had an open day for the uni I wanted to go to, him being the dickhead he is decided to book me in for a day shift all day despite me booking the day off for
fuckbitchesgetmoney1 9y ago Edited 9y ago I worked at this shitty sandwich shop (actually the food was decent... The owners were assholes) I'd worked in food service before and had always had aprons provided and washed by the business. They made me wash one that they gave me.. It was weird. They were annoyingly cheap. I called and told them I was quitting as I had moved on (didn't give two weeks because I knew they'd cut my hours and already had a new job) and they asked for the hat they gave me back. (I had worked there a
Zappiticas 9y ago I worked as a mechanic at Pep Boys several years ago. While I worked there, some of us discovered that if the drainage pipe in the shop were pressurized, the toilet would shoot water out of the bowl. The service manager at my store was a piece of shit. The day that I quit | waited until he went into the bathroom to take a dump. I filled up a Cheetah(a device used to seat a tire onto a wheel) and released about 200psi all at once into the drainage pipe. The toiled fucking exploded, the manager
Largestmanager 9y ago I worked for a restaurant that was set to cater a music festival I wanted to attend badly. I had actually been the catering assistant until they no notice posted that job was available for anyone. So I held out hope id get to go and cater the festival and quit after. Despite this I was told I'd have to hold down the restaurant and could not go, period. I put in a 6 day notice and found their booth and waved and said hi while peaking on acid. I did that every single day of the

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