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38 Helpless Bits of Trivia That’ll Live in Your Brain’s Basement and Have It Do Their Laundry Till They’re Well Into Their 30s

You’ll love these facts, but you’ll also be glad to send them off into the world

38 Helpless Bits of Trivia That’ll Live in Your Brain’s Basement and Have It Do Their Laundry Till They’re Well Into Their 30s

February 10, 2025

We’ve always been aware enough to know when we’re overstaying our welcome. Body language and subtle hints aren’t too hard to read. But these facts are really bad at picking up on those signals. They’ll set up shop and do as they please until you sit them down for a very direct discussion about getting the hell out of your brain.

They’re great for a while and will chip in some knowledge, but at some point, you need to open that brain door and get them into someone else’s head.

38

Earth’s Portrait

The Blue Marble is the only whole-earth photo taken by human hands. It was taken on December 7, 1972, from a distance of about 18,000 miles from the planet's surface. No one has since been far enough from earth to take a similar picture. CRACKED NOW YOU KNOW — Source

37

Gladiators

Gladiator fights weren't a gory free-for-all, but had strict rules and referees. One gladiator's tombstone inscription complains that a bad referee call killed him. CRACKED.COM — Source

36

Cereal Box Prizes

35

Wombats

Wombat poop is cube-shaped. They arrange their poo to mark their territory, and cubes stack easier than logs. NOW YOU KNOW CRACKED.COM — Source

34

Ireland

Source: PRI

33

Romania

A cave in Romania is possibly the most isolated ecosystem on Earth. Movile cave has been isolated from the rest of the world for 5.5 million years, and it contains 33 species found nowhere else. NOW YOU KNOW — Source: BBC

32

Twilight

THE ACTOR: Robert Pattinson THE ROLE: Edward in Twilight WHY НЕ Pattinson hated Edward from the moment he HATED IT: read the script, so that's how he played him: as a manic-depressive who hates himself. CRACKED.COM — 24 Characters Actors Wish They'd Never Played

31

Crystalline Flowers

CRACKED.COM These tiny crystalline flowers are growing on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial... ...on a penny. http://hyperallergic.com/72044/sculpting-the-tiniest-flowers-in-the-world-to-build-the-future-of-nanotechnologyl — Source

30

Matthew McConaughey

Matthew McConaughey once got busted while dancing and playing bongos in the nude. Не was spotted doing that at his home, and cops showed up and arrested him. Two days later, BONGO NAKED T-shirts were all over Austin, he said. CRACKED.COM — Source

29

Shopping

When possible, CRACKEDCO COM WALK to the store. Research shows impulse purchasing increases by 44%, just by taking your car with you.

28

Samuel Johnson

Emo Laments from Dignified People Samuel Johnson The 18th-century writer is up there with Shakespeare in terms of literary cred, but still dropped Kanye-worthy, humble-bragging self-deprecation: I hate mankind, for I think myself one of the best of them, and I know how bad I am. CRACKED.COM — Joshua Reynolds/Wiki Commons
Goodreads

27

Vanilla

People tried to grow vanilla for 300 years in Europe, totally unsuccessfully. In 1836, they finally figured it was because vanilla was pollinated by an insect that didn't live in Europe. CRACKED.COM — Source

26

Family Guy

Family Guy returned because fans kept buying DVDS and merch. The show got new episodes three years after being canceled. Die-hard fans kept it alive by buying millions of dollars's worth of DVDS and merch, to the point where it was outselling The Simpsons. CRACKED — Fox
Baltimore Sun

25

Expensive Items

Why spend pocket change on NORMAL toothpicks like a PEASANT when you can spend $18,000 on luxury, solid gold toothpicks? GRACKED.COM — Source

24

George Santos

GEORGE SANTOS TO REPORTERS: SUE ME FOR HAVING A LIFE. Rep. Santos said he dressed as a woman for fun at a party in Brazil, but denied ever being a drag queen. Не dared reporters to sue him for living life. CRACKED — U.S. House Office of Photography/Wiki Commons
Fox News

23

Hal Needham

Screw the dialogue, let's wreck some cars. A quote by stuntman-turned-director Hal Needham — Source: Washington Times

22

Henry VIII

Henry VIII's Gun Mace CRACKED.COM At one point, Henry VIII replaced his run-of-the-mill fancy walking cane with this brutal-looking mace. Passersby wouldn't have known that it was also a loaded gun, which could fire four bullets at any time by lighting a fuse at the end of the handle. — Source: 6 Awesomely Insane Guns People Actually Used (Pt. 2)

21

Ronald Reagan

One of Ronald Reagan's agents was inspired to join the Secret Service by Reagan's films. Agent Jerry Parr joined the service after seeing movies as a child about the Secret Service, starring Ronald Reagan. Parr would go on to save Reagan from an as- sassination attempt. CRACKED NOW YOU KNOW — Rawhide Down

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20

The Shining

The front of the Overlook Hotel in THE SHiNiNG was built at Elstree Studios, and was based on Oregon's Timberline Lodge. EY The crew covered the exter

19

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia

CRACKED COM GLENN HOWERTON WAS REPLACED BY HIS SEX DOLL AT AN ALWAYS SUNNY EVENT. IT'S ALWAYS FXP UNNY IN PHILADELPHIA SEP2SF IT'S S IN Pt When Howert

18

Nuclear Testing

Testing nuclear bombs in the U.S. has killed over 10,000 Americans The U.S. government had 1,000 nuclear tests in Nevada, with another 67 in the Marshall Islands. The tests caused cancer, resulting in a very low estimate of the fatalities being in the thousands. CRACKED.COM — Source

17

Slinky

CRACKED THE SLINKY WAS DEVELOPED FOR THE NAVY. The strong spring was supposed to secure objects on ships, but then its inventor dropped it and realized it was a lot more fun to play with. Slinky PEGUUS WAL - COLLECTOR'S EDITION EDITION COLLECTOR LA EDICIÓN DE COLECCIONISTA MECHO - U.S.A - 5+ Slinky — Smithsonian Magazine / Den of Geek

16

Organs

The phrase pull out all the stops comes from the pipe organ. Each set of pipes has a knob called a stop. Pulling them all out makes the biggest sound. NOW YOU KNOW CRACKED.COM — Answers.com

15

Kurt Goedel

Philosopher Kurt Goedel was SO into his wife's cooking, it killed him. He was so terrified of being poisoned, he'd only eat what she cooked-- so when she had to go to the hospital for some time, he ate nothing, and starved to death. CRACKED.COM — Source: TU Wien

14

Invader Zim

An episode of Invader Zim had to be changed because it included a sign that read Welcome to Mexico. CRACKED.COM The ending of the episode Walk of Doom involved Zim and GIR being dropped off in a slum with Spanish music playing and the sign serving as a visual gag, but Nickelodeon was concerned it was racist. — Source

13

Kingdom Hearts

Video game movies we were denied Kingdom Hearts A series adaptation is coming to Disney+, with the original cast reprising their roles... supposedly. Whenever the Mouse decides. CRACKED.COM — Source: Eurogamer.net

12

911 Calls

DUMB REASONS PEOPLE HAVE CALLED 911 AN ENCOUNTER WITH GIANT CRABS A veteran dispatcher said a man once opened the 911 call with, I swear I'm not crazy, then said he fled his apartment because his 911 roommates had turned into EMERGENCY giant crabs. Police found CALL that, lo and behold, it was a bad drug trip. CRACKED — YONGYUT.TT/Shutterstock
Reader's Digest

11

Denmark

WEIRD WORLD Denmark is going to rent 300 prison cells a year from the country of Kosovo. SEARCH ROOM Denmark has been dealing with prison overcrowding, and apparently this is the solution. CRACKED.COM — Source

10

The USSR

At Mao and Stalin's first meeting, the USSR stole Mao's poop. On Stalin's personal orders, the sewage pipes in the house where the two met were rerouted to special storage boxes. The thinking was that an analysis of the chemicals in his poop would reveal secrets about Mao's psychology. (Did it work? Nobody knows.) CRACKED.COM — Source: 18 Historical Facts That Don't Get Mentioned

9

Drunken Confession

AT LEAST НЕ TOOK TO HEART THE LESSON THAT HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY. Marek Hecko, a 26-year-old British man, was given a life sentence after he went back to the place where he had committed a murder and told the police what had happened while he was really drunk. CRACKED — Stenko Vlad/Shutterstock
FOX 11 Los Angeles

8

Aubrey Plaza and Michael Cera

Aubrey Plaza and Michael Cera almost got married in Vegas. 2010 It wasn't a joke or anything - they were in a relationship for a year and a half (they started going out after filming Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World). NOW YOU KNOW CRACKED.COM — Source

7

Moles

19 Terrifying Real-World Monsters You Won't Believe Exist - That squid on his face gives him one of the best senses of touch in the mammal kingdom. He — Source: National Geographic

6

Carlo Urbani

Carlo Urbani recognized the SARS virus in Vietnam early on, and knew it could be a major threat. Не made sure local authorities took action, like isolating people who might have the virus and stopping international travel. CRACKED — Médecines Sans Frontières Canada/Wiki Commons,
Kateryna Kon/Shutterstock
World Health Organization

5

Catholics

Catholics started a secret society in 1738 where they acted like dogs. GRACKED.COM When the Pope banned joining the Freemasons, a group of Catholics started 'The Order of the Pug' in which initiation involved wearing a collar, walking on all fours, and kissing a pug statue's butt. — Source

4

The Chronicles of Narnia

The wolves in The Chronicles of Narnia had to have their wagging tails edited out. In order to appear appropriately menacing, the wagging tails of the dogs and wolves in The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe had to be replaced with CGI doggie butts. CRACKED.COM — Source

3

Silicon Valley

Silicon Valley trolled its own hardcore fans. 01100110 01101001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01100001 00100000 01101000 01101111 01100010 01100010 01111001 00100000 01100110 11100100 00100110 TITTOTTO ttisette @@@@@@@@ 01001110 TITTOTTO 10100110 TODOOTTO 00000100 11001110 01100110 01101001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01 00001 00100000 01100118 @@@@@fee TOUTTITO 01000110 01000110 IIIIOITO 00010118 01101111 01110010 00100000 01 11100100 00100110 TITTOITO 1110 EN 11001110 00000100 TROOTTIE 10100110 I 100 01110110 reetette 01100118 00 00 01 100001 00100000 01800TTe 11110110 BOOTETTE 110 01/11/1001 00100000 01100110 01101111 01110010 00100000 111 01101111 01100100 00100111 11001110 @@@@@@@@@ TROOTTTO 10100118 петета 100 In the fifth season's trailer, Gavin Belson speaks in front

2

South Park

Isaac Hayes didn't actually leave South Park. The story goes that he quit the show in protest after the episode that mocked Scientology. But he was recovering from a stroke, couldn't speak, and had limited comprehension. Не wasn't able to resign, but someone in his inner circle - and everyone in it was involved with Scientology -- did it for him, says his son. NOW YOU KNOW CRACKED.COM — Source

1

Donations

Taylor Morris was wounded in Afghanistan. Fans on a website bought him a house. Morris lost all four limbs in an explosion, and figured his dream of o

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