31 Very Funny, But Very Unprofessional Things People Did at Work

‘I set the building on fire’
31 Very Funny, But Very Unprofessional Things People Did at Work

Your cover letter might boast of your upstanding professionalism, but sometimes the workplace skills you’re most proud of can’t be disclosed to anyone else, let alone a hiring manager. 

Case in point: One Redditor recalled the time he was processing a new shipment of crossbows at the sporting goods store he worked at. The second he saw the box, he was ready to go full Van Helsing, despite it being an OSHA violation waiting to happen. He ran to his manager and asked if he could test out the new equipment, explaining, “Think about how awesome it’ll be.” His manager eagerly agreed, and they immediately fired those bad boys up. They were at least somewhat professional about it and shot at damaged goods that were going to get thrown away anyway. And so, thankfully, nothing — and no one — was hurt in the process. 

Other workplaces have served as host to their own cases of hilarious unprofessionalism. Such as…

tinyhorsesinmytea 5y ago As a waiter, I threw away some psychopath bitch monster's phone after she disrespected me the entire time I was serving her and then stiffed me. Your phone? Nope. Haven't seen it. Check with the hotel lost and found. Got away with it, don't regret it, would do it again. + 36 ...
hutchman2 g 5y ago Screwed my girlfriend, now wife, on the Burger King prep table. + 11 ...
barbieondrugss 5y ago I used to work in a restaurant as a bartender some time ago. On my last day the manager left early because she had to go somewhere can't remember where. Once we were shut which was about 11pm I started making cocktails for the whole staff. It ended up 6am 4 of us still drinking.... completely shirtless god knows why... boys and girls The rest is history 7 ...
PortalOutVoyd 5y ago I work at Starbucks and when it's a slow day, my coworker and I will start steaming random shit with the steamer. Here is a small list of things we've steamed: espresso, the juices for the refreshers, some sodas, the sanitizing water, iced coffee, iced teas.. + 3 ...
 5y ago Holy crap an oportunity to tell a niche story. I work in a library and we have some realllllly slow times. So I setup a remote tool to my PC at home and play card games. 2 ...
Snugglebunnyzz 5y ago When I was in the military, I worked at the military hospital for a little while. I was given a box full of random porn dvds. There were, I would guess around 30 ish dvds. So I took them to work (my office was mostly males; I am female btw). I let a few people know and word got around. By the end of the day it was empty. I let them pick and grab what they wanted, never looked to see who got what, but there were some funny stuff in there. 24 ...
The_True_Dr_Pepper 5y ago e Edited 5y ago I (very briefly and with as dry a tongue as I could get) licked one of the rare books from the 1500s or 1600s I was digitizing so I could compete with my boyfriend for that Who's licked the oldest thing game. 38 ...
 5y ago I worked at a rec center and were doing laps in the weight room making sure no one had any questions. To pass time we were doing the bottle flip challenge when my manager got the idea to bottle flip a wet floor sign. The foot of the sign shattered on impact and plastic shards went flying past peoples faces. My apology to them was I'm sorry my manager is such a fucking dumbass + 53 ...
keepitdownoptimist . 5y ago I once gave a 70 or so year old woman the finger and held it in her face to make sure her stupid ass saw it. + 55
ToScaredToGay 11y ago I was a middle manager with 15 people under me in the IT business. Slow day in the middle if the summer, I decided to throw a poker tournament for all of them. Winner got three days off with pay. + 71 ...
 11y ago In high school I was a busboy at Outback Steakhouse. Lunch was around 12:00, school was released at 2:30, track practice was over by 5, work at 6:00-10:30 ish. As you can imagine I was starving every time I worked. Cleaning up after people who had left food on the table would be torture. Sometimes it would be too much for me and I'd eat someone else's to go box or something. I remember one night an entire macaroni and cheese was left in the bowl and it looked so good. So I snuck it into the
 11y ago I set the building on fire + 251 ...
 11y ago Got in a broom fight. + 248 ...
LowEndLem . 11y ago Bare-assed a customer's couch after a long sweaty day and he was being a total asshole. + 165 ...
Urgh_Dinkleberg 11y ago worked as a paintball marshal and tried to protect this little kid that was getting overshot and started to cry, so i was helping him and some kid just stood their laughing so i told him that he was a emotionless little cunt and took the little kids gun and shot the shit out of him, he literally shit himself but sadly he told his dad, who told my boss and i got fired + 68 ...
Gerik5 11y ago Got absolutely hammered. It was my friends last day at a pizza place we worked at, and I had one of the delivery drivers pick up a bottle of whiskey. After 10 pm, we took a shot every time a new order came in. We killed the whole bottle in about 2 hours. Also a few joints now and then. Also, not me, but one time I saw a co-worker stuff some wings down his pants. + 494 ...
amish_guy 11y ago I was drinking at a firm sponsored happy hour with my co-workers. Things are going great; beer is flowing, the wings are great, and people are laughing. Somehow the discussion turns to sexual slang and I stupidly blurt out, dirty Sanchez! It would have been just fine until one of my female managers tasked what it was. So I berated her for not knowing and then described it in great detail...with finger movements. It's been ten years and I still get called out on it. 1.1K ...
 11y ago . Edited 11y ago I used to wear a costume and shake a sign outside to advertise for a Halloween store. It isn't as humiliating as you'd think (most people ignore you) but it's painfully boring. My favorite costume was a giant pickle one because I could hide my head and one arm inside while shaking the sign with the other and browse reddit or watch entire movies. I'm so glad Halloween season is over.
Rattlesnake288 11y ago My old kitchen manager used to do blow off the cutting boards before we opened up. Best place I ever worked + 1.1K ...
seasond 11y ago A coworker crop dusted my office, so I walked into his and tried to fart on him, but I shit myself. I then cut the soiled part out of my underwear and flushed it down the toilet. + 1.4K ...
n0solace 11y ago I used to work in a call centre. I used to patch irate customers through to my firends' mobiles. Good times. + 2.9K ...
inflammable . 5y ago When I worked at Walmart like 15 years ago I managed to read the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy on the clock. I was kind of proud of that. + 320 ...
Big-Bloke 5y ago Probably 10 years ago when I was driving my bus, Myself and a friend were driving a the same route in opposite directions, so we would pass each other every 30 minutes or so. Anyway it started as each of us passed each other we would lean out of the window and shout DICK to each other. I then stuck a label to my head with DICK written on it, Не laughed so much. It kept on escalating with each of us driving past each other with bigger and BIGGER signs of DICK written on labels on
Tondor 11y ago . Edited 11y ago I worked at a pool, and anytime it got hazy, or looked like it was going to rain, we would have someone go out and bang on the dumpster because it sounded like thunder. Hello, break-time.
Eddy2626 . 5y ago I took a shit in the toilets, I didn't flush because I wanted my colleagues to smell my shit and blame each other. + 246 ...
smspain 11y ago Inform irate customer that you are going to put them on hold, dial out to a pizza delivery service until someone answers, connect the two calls together, disconnect. + 476 ...
 11y ago Edited 11y ago I use to work at a sports store and on a really slow day we received a new supply of crossbows. These crossbows were so awesome that I just had to shoot it, so I run to my manager who I was really close to and I say, Do you wanna shoot at shit with these crossbows?! Before you say no, just think about how awesome it'll be! His response was Fuck yeah I wanna shoot shit with the crossbows! So we grabbed a bunch of broken or flawed items we couldn't sell any
RedditRuinedMyGrades 11y ago As a caddy, I was told not to touch the grips of a golf club, because my sweat is different from his sweat. I rubbed the grips on my nutsack when he wasn't looking. + 3K ...
imtheeasshole 11y ago Many years ago we didn't know what two girls one cup was, so my boss fired it up on a monitor that faced customers + 1.4K ...
crapplecinnabutt 11y ago . Edited 11y ago Skype sex in a cubicle after hours. Still not sure if the IT saw/heard me. Edit: Of course my highest voted comment is of me being promiscuous in the workplace. I no longer work there though, so you can stop worrying that the IT guy is going to blackmail me with my secret ;) + 838 ...
LtMai22 5y ago I once threw a wrap at my co-worker and then started scream singing Africa with a different со- worker. Got a strike for that. 2 ...

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