‘The Simpsons’ Sideshow Bob Is a Street Art Icon

28 of People’s Favorite Quotes From Their Favorite Comedians

The ‘Curb Your Enthusiasm’ Murder: 3 Famous Crime Stories With Follow-Ups That Changed Everything

The Very Big World of Stuart Smalley, According to Al Franken

Dave Chappelle’s Lengthy Monologue Bumped ‘SNL’s Tribute to David Lynch

40 Random Bits of Trivia Screamed at Us by a Drill Sergeant

Say it, don’t spray it. Sir!

40 Random Bits of Trivia Screamed at Us by a Drill Sergeant

December 08, 2024

A new “bones are wet” just dropped: Humans slowly turn into jerky as they age.

Click right here to get the best of Cracked sent to your inbox.

40

Los Angeles

Los Angeles was the first major city, ever, to synchronize its traffic lights. Nearly all of its 4, .400 traffic lights (that COVER 469 square miles) are synchronized through an automated, centralized control system. CRACKED.COM — Source: ZDNet

39

Orangutans

Orangutans THEY can TeacH THeMseLves TO SPeaRFISH. This ability was first spotted back in 2008 in an animal sanctuary in Borneo where the apes were basically mimicking what the humans were doing with their harpoons (and immediately outperforming us in the supple category). CRACKED.COM — Source: 5 Animals Who Taught Themselves Eerily Human Skills

38

Joe Pesci

Joe Pesci sued Gotti for cutting him out. You'd think any actor would be happy not to be in a critically panned OX-office bomb. Except Pesci was cut from his part after gaining 30 pounds for it, and offered to play a different character instead (with a pay cut). He ended up receiving a settlement. — More: 5 Behind-The-Scenes Controversies Audiences Never Noticed In Movies

37

Mazda

Product Recalls Mazda6 sedans Mazda had to call back 42,000 of their Mazda6 sedans in the U.S. because of a potential fire hazard caused by yellow sac spiders building webs in the fuel tank hose, which blocked the air flow. MAZDA.6 CRACKED — Everyonephoto Studio/Shutterstock,
Tobias Hauke/Shutterstock
CNN

36

Bees

Michael Smith encouraged bees to sting his junk. Не tested 25 different body parts, including his twig and berries, to see where it was most painful to be stung. The winner was actually the nostril, but the dick was close behind. CRACKED.COM — Mic / Bee Conservatory

35

The Great Pyramid

The builders of The Great Pyramid in Giza were paid in beer. This custom was not unique to Egypt- workers in the earliest civilizations of Mesopotamia were also paid in beer. CRACKED.COM — Source: 14 Facts About Beer That Still Won't Cure Our Hangover

34

Gretchen Whitmer

A juror was removed from a kidnapping case for eye-banging one of the defendants. CRACKED.COM Several people, including the judge, said they'd noticed the juror glancing and smil- ing at Paul Bellar, one of three men accused of assist- ing with an unsuccessful 2020 plot to kidnap Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer. — The Guardian / Unsplash

33

DuckTales

The DUCKTALES reboot was influenced by X-MEN. Showrunners Matt Youngberg and Francisco Angones have said they took cues from Chris Claremont's X-Men comics, with their self- contained stories that feed an ongoing narrative. — Source: Vulture

32

Wyatt Russell

BEHIND-THE-SCENESp FACTS WYATT RUSSELL'S REACTION TO HIS NEW SUIT WAS GENUINE. THE FALCON WINTER SOLDIER Russell says that he wasn't that impressed with the U.S. Agent suit after first seeing it but that he felt like a kid on Christmas once he put it on. His genuine reaction to wearing — Vanity Fair

31

The International Space Station

An astronaut used his dirty laundry to grow plants on the ISS. You can't really wash dirty laundry, so you have to get creative with it and since there's no soil, using it to grow plants is a good idea. That's how Science Officer Don Pettit grew the tomato and basil seeds he'd taken to the ISS. NOW YOU KNOW CRACKED.COM — Source: NASA

30

Julianne Moore

Julianne Moore To join Actor's Equality, Julie Anne Smith needed a name that was less popular. My father's middle name is Moore; my mother's name is Anne. So I just slammed the Anne onto the Julie...But it's horrible to change your name. I'd been Julie Smith my whole life, and I didn't want to change it. CRACKED.COM — Source: 13 Celebrities Who Changed Their Name (And Why)

29

Tabletop RPG

There is a tabletop RPG where even the GM doesn't know all the answers. Brindlewood Bay is a murder mystery where the solutions emerge from the mechanics of the game and the shared narrative of the players. Players, and even the GM, are presented with clues and then piece the mystery together, and a dice roll determines their accuracy.om — Source

28

Lance Armstrong

LANCE ARMSTRONG PRETENDED TO ACCIDENTLY TWEET OUT HIS OWN PHONE NUMBER, AS A PRANK Lance Armstrong @lancearmstrong Hey - you bet. Happy to help. Call my cell Take care, L 6:33 PM - Sep 13, 2012 Twitter for iPhone 2.3K Retweets 1.2K Likes Lance Armstrong @lancearmstrong Psych! 10:02 PM - Sep 13, 2012 Twitter for iPhone 282 Retweets 122 Likes EXCEPT, INSTEAD OF USING A FAKE NUMBER FOR THIS PRANK, LANCE TWEETED OUT SOMEONE'S REAL NUMBER TO HIS THOUSANDS OF FOLLOWERS CRACKED.COM — Source: 14 Incredibly Stupid Social Media Posts By Famous People

27

Justin Timberlake

Justin Timberlake was paid $6 million to sing the I'm Lovin' It jingle M i'm lovin' it™ Timberlake recorded the McDonald's jingle expanded into a full song, written by Pharrell Williams. NOW YOU KNOW CRACKED.COM — NY Times

26

Thanos

IN THE COMICS, THANOS COMMITS UNIVERSAL GENOCIDE TO IMPRESS DEATH. Thanos' finger snap of doom wasn't originally a radical approach to resource alloca — More: 6 Times The Source Material Was Too Dumb For The Movie

25

Ye

Anti-Semitism keeps Ye off the billionaire list. GRAGKED.COM Because of his numerous anti-Semetic comments, Adidas dropped his Yeezy shoeline. Forbes estimates the deal was to be worth $1.5 billion. — Source

24

Lou Grant

CRACKED THE WJM NEWS STATION THE MARY TYLER MOORE SHOW Mary's gruff boss Lou Grant says what every boss is thinking (but should never actually say). If I don't like you, l'll fire you! If you don't like me, l'll fire you! They all need to unionize for job security. — IMDB / NPR

23

Angels and Demons

CRACKED.COM In Angels and Demons (2009), the bad guys attempt to use antimatter, stored in vials, to destroy the Vatican. While the effect of antimatter is accurately shown in the film, scientists said that the real-life production of the amount of antimatter used in the plot would take billions of years. — Source: 13 Annoying Ways Movies Keep Getting Science Wrong

22

Vin Diesel

Vin Diesel is known for his speed, his fury, and his shiny head. Speaking of which, he was THE voice of the Iron Giant. The 1999 sci-fi comedy/drama a

21

Churchill’s Famine

During WWII, Britain caused three million deaths in India Despite being painted as a hero against genocide, Churchill's policies caused the Bengal famine of 1943. He redirected food from starving Indian civilians to well-supplied British soldiers. CRACKED.COM — Source: Al Jazeera

20

Gritty

Sports Reinvented GRITTY: THE PHILADELPHIA FLYERS MASCOT With Philly's Broad Street Bullies era in the '70s, it's clear that the Flyers' identity is things everyone else hates. The newest offense is Gritty, the ugliest, meanest mascot, who terrorizes fans and opposing players. CRACKED — GrittyNHL/Twitter
Bloomberg

19

V for Vendetta

V for Vendetta Beneath this mask there is an idea, Mr. Creedy, and ideas are bulletproof. Based on Alan Moore's graphic novel, a masked freedom fighter teams up with shaved-head Natalie Portman to overthrow a not-so- futuristic tyrannical government and stand up against injustices. CRACKED.COM — Source: them.

18

Skin

The skin of all human beings is covered in stripes. GRACKED.COM They are cellular relics of our development from a single cell to a fully formed human called Blaschko's Lines, and they cover the body from head to toe. — MentalFloss

17

Asbestos Lady

ASBESTOS LADY FROM OUT OF THE PAST! THE LOVELY, LETHAL CA ASBESTOS YOU S в LADY! CRACKED.COM It was 1947... They didn't know. Fantastic Four's Human Torch needed a villain, so Marvel created chemist gone crazy, Victoria Murdock, who created a fireproof suit out of asbestos. Years later, she died of idiopathic mesothelioma... From asbestos exposure. — Source: Marvel.fandom

16

Scrubs

Bill Lawrence brings Scrubs to an end, literally. GOODBYE JCY + D. The creator of the hospital sitcom shows up at the very end of My Finale as a janitor, tearing down the banner that says Goodbye J.D. In that moment, Lawerence puts a bow on his longest-running series. *Never mind the ninth season/spin-off. We don't talk about that. CRACKED.COM — Source: 12 Creators Who Had Brilliant Cameos in Their Own Work

15

Cuckoo Birds

Cuckoo Birds CRACKED.COM Cuckoos lay their eggs in the nests of other birds, and when they hatch the cuckoo chick disposes of the other eggs. Thus the term cuckold was born, and internet comment sections were never the same. — The 6 Biggest Assholes in the Animal Kingdom

14

Wilco

WILCO'S ALBUM YANKEE WIICO HOTEL FOXTROTPREDICTED THE 9/11 ATTACKS. Tall buildings shake Voices escape singing sad sad songs Voices whine Skyscrapers are scraping together Your voice is smoking -Jesus, Etc. Although the album was released in 2003, it was actually recorded in early 2000-well before the Twin Tower attacks. http://web.archive.org/web/20010826133635/http:/www.chicagotribune.com/ CRACKED.COM features/ifestyle/chi-010815003Baug 15.storycollschi-leisure-hed — Source: 21 Eerily Specific Pop Culture Predictions That Came True

13

Independence Day

INDEPENDENCE DAY ROLAND EMMERICH THINKS THE MOVIE IS JUST OK. The director thinks the movie is fine, but relies a lot on conveniences and coincidences to make the story flow and the good guys win. Не considers it a fable. CRACKED.COM — Source: The Guardian

12

Batman: Arkham Asylum

40 Random Bits of Trivia Screamed at Us by a Drill Sergeant

11

Lord of the Rings

What We Do in the Shadows couldn't have been done without Lord of the Rings. They went to LOTR's costume designer and asked for spare props and they got teeth and elf ears, which turned out to be perfect for vampires. CRACKED.COM — Source: DenOfGeek

10

The Sims

The Sims couldn't have happened without Will Wright losing his home. After it burned down, he had to rebuild it from scratch, which also meant he'd have to learn the fundamentals of architecture and to figure out what he could and couldn't buy later on. So he got the idea for a game in which players build a household from scratch. CRACKED.COM — GamesRadar

9

Viva Rock Vegas

VIVA ROCK VEGAS Fred and Barney CRACKED.COM JOHN GOODMAN/RICK MORANIS MARK ADDY/STEPHEN BALDWIN This wasn't even a modern reboot; they tried to replace Goodman and Moranis with a guy who played second fiddle to Mr. Bean and a bargain Baldwin a mere 6 years after the first movie. — Source

8

Gavin McInnes

CELEBRITIES that tried stand-up GAVIN McINNES stand-up should stand back and stand by. The Proud Boys founder was ready to perform at the comedy event Stand Back & Stand By (a nod to Trump's comments), but Penn State was forced to cancel the event after protests turned violent. CRACKED — Source

7

Andy Bernard

Andy can stay... If he changes! THE OFFICE CRACKED.COM Andy Bernard was only supposed to be Jim's antagonist for a few episodes, but cast and crew wanted him to stay. Originally a total prick, the character lands in anger management after punching a wall, and returns as a nice nerd (with bleeding nipples.) — Digital Spy / Looper

6

Joker

Villains Gru would look up to Batman (1989)/The Dark Knight JOKER Gru would be inspired by the devil-may- care chaos of Heath Ledger's version, combined with Jack Nicholson's massive gadgets, balloons, and loyal henchmen. CRACKED.COM

5

Babies

You are born wet and steadily dry out as you age. CRACKED.COM A newborn human baby is 75% water, adult men are about 60%, adult women 55%, and elderly people are roughly half. — NPR

4

Mars

Mars has its own tartan, although it was designed by Earthlings. CRACKED.COM Designed by Geoffrey (Tai- lor) Highland Crafts, the pattern was inspired by the colors and history of the Red Planet and is in- tended to be worn during Mars science, exploration and outreach activities. — Tartan Register

3

Alexander the Great

AFTER PERSEPOLIS, ALEXANDER CELEBRATED. CRACKED THE MACEDONIAN SOLDIERS WERE EMOTIONAL DRUNKS. After talking things over with a drunken whore, Alexa — For details, read The 7 Most Unexpectedly Awesome Parties in History

2

Radiator on the Fritz

WEIRD WORLD A guy in Yakima, Wahington drove his SUV into a river on purpose. (illustration) Emergency crews showed up at the scene, but the driver told them he'd replaced the thermostat in the car and he needed to fill his radiator with water. CRACKED.COM — Source: KimaTV

1

The Sopranos

THESOPRANOS was almost The Family Man. HBO wanted to change the name to The Family Man because they were afraid The Sopranos would make people think the show was about opera singers. Thankfully, creator David Chase pushed back against their demands. — Entertainment Weekly

Tags:

Visual

Scroll down for the next article

Must Read

Science & History

35 Corporate Calamities and Big Business Blunders That Got Their Boardrooms Boarded Up

Science & History

40 Counterintuitive Bits of Trivia That Will Turn Your Brain Inside Out Like a Shirt in the Laundry

Trivia & Jokes

31 of the Best Jokes Ever Told

Trivia & Jokes

40 Random Bits of Trivia Produced Overseas But Assembled in America So We Get a Hefty Tax Write-Off

Trivia & Jokes

12 Farm-Fresh Trivia Tidbits for Monday, January 20, 2025

Trivia & Jokes

40 Random Bits of Trivia Ms. Frizzle Is Contractually Prohibited From Teaching

VIRAL ON CRACKED

1

34 Code Words Insiders Use

2

12 Big Pop Culture Things (That Aren't Even Real)

3

12 Supposed Facts Of Life That Are Actually Propaganda

4

31 of the Best Jokes Ever Told

5

40 Undeserving Bits of Pop-Culture Trivia That Got Cast Over Us in the Big Spring Play