35 of the Funniest Tweets from Friday, November 22, 2024

Hit that parlay. Your wife can wait
35 of the Funniest Tweets from Friday, November 22, 2024

Jason Kelce is gearing up to tackle late-night television. The former Philadelphia Eagles center made an appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live! to announce that in January, ESPN will launch They Call It Late Night with Jason Kelce. The limited-run series, which will air Saturday mornings at 1 a.m., will primarily focus on football, but ESPN says that the “new personality-driven one-hour program will take its inspiration from traditional late-night television.” It’s unclear whether or not ESPN intends on extending the series beyond its planned five-week run, but given that Kelce is currently in the first year of a multiyear agreement with the network, there’s definitely more of something in store.

Elsewhere, NBC got a nice frosty beverage from Happy’s Place and liked the taste of it. The network has ordered five additional episodes of the Reba-led sitcom, bringing its first season to a full 18 episodes. The news comes after the series became NBC’s most-watched show of the season, with nearly four million on-air viewers and steady growth of next-day streaming and delayed viewing. Despite this happy news, a second season of the multicam comedy has yet to be announced.

Last but not least, happy Friday! As always the timeline is providing the comedy to get our weekend started. Today’s funniest tweets include those about an important theory to read, real lovers and the problem with buying cereal.

Shafeeq @Y2SHAF.2 20h ... what have you seen Him Hardaway @uhv... 8/14/24 New ID came in... 6 year difference lol MARYLAND MAR Driver's License Driver's Li USA DL Customer de MD 10068C708 10016A2B6 4000 CAPITOL HEIGHTS Date of birth Sex Height 08/23/1988 M 6'-01 Restrictions Classifications В с 300 6,008 124K 2.9M

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Kevin Finnerty @timeimme... 18h ... - POV you are Jay Leno 10 inesa.com 46 1,544 12.6K 310K

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mack @m4cden 13h ... how i show up to work after giving myself 8 minutes to get ready 5 442 6,823 79.6K

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hunter @hunter_hhhh-11h picked the cheapest hotel i could find and this was the first thing i saw when i walked in 108 1,280 37.7K 527K

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Hyporsheck @Hyporsheck 1d ICEN doing big things in class rn he hatchet eating 9 soft seen, I wh hands truggled.1 AT aching Every time ot a clos - the raft it beat about with anket and such frenzy that 1 was COM N into Is ng out some line At last managed to bas a It was over three it abo long The ave up a ucket was useless It woul fit th dorado like - hat. 1b - the fish ger I wn by kneeling on it and - ny hands IN was a 16 с oure muscle, so big its tail stuc

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timuoxi cha le mei @ch1cken_t... 16h ... Asked the taxi driver where he likes to eat in this part of Houston and he said there's a really good chipotle at the mall food court GIF 11 379 17.3K 248K

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Toad @ItsToad_.1 18h As per my previous tablet... Complaint about delivery al of the wrong grade of copper g About 1750 BC (Old Babylonian period), from Ur ME 131236 945 15.7K 199K 4.7M

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No Context Brits @NoConte... 1d ... RYYHHNG BLU they - C She's broken because she belived No one: Him: 874 29.3K 503K 14M

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dani @djpon3stan.2 23h this and some premarital 146 3,577 40.3K 1M

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STOLEN Elon Musk's OSHA Violations 1d ... CLASS ACTION LAWSUIT OPPORTUNITY MAKE SURE YOU BUY AND EAT THIS BACON e REFRIGERATED EST 1891 Cinnamon V 1 - U.S. III . Black Label Toast LIMITED EDITION Crunch NAMON SUGAR FLAVORED THICK CO BACON CINNASUSY COATED WITH CINNAMON SUGAR RUB seasoning Blend not NET WT 12 OZ (340g) Wait 2 years for the class action suit against the fda DONT MISS OUT Money to be made here people 35 2,495 34.3K 711K

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FRFR @ChrissFRFR. 23h ... KING you might as well GRABBA new port Amadou @AmadouIt... 9/30/23 Yea I like my weed wit a lil grabba 792 6,452 37.1K 2.3M

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senia che @drawntosenia 19h ... Bought cereal for the first time in a long time and after two bowls I'm sitting in the kitchen looking at the cereal box like this. Now I remember why I stopped buying cereal. 210 6,787 103K 1.4M

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@VOIDTHROAT.1d the problem with killing yourself in front of a customer is you can only do it once 3 274 2,870 del 35.2K

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bails @beverlychillls - 1d how to process your emotions in a healthy way (i think) - get violently high - reply to every single instagram story you see - forget why you were upset in the first place 12 914 6,985 149K

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@TheRealDr....1 19h Legal Shooter ... Yours or not got me CRYING KSM @TheKingShaMugga 1d Dating a woman with 3 kids, whether they are yours or not is Krazy. 190 7,223 72.4K 2.2M

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@... . 1d ... Terminally Online Leftist yeah i read theory HOW TO HOLD ANIMALS THE CALMING ART OF CONNECTING WITH CREATURES BIG AND SMALL TOSHIMITSU MATSUHASHI 125K 5,933 625 16

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Old Internet @OldInternetFeel. 1d ... cebook search for people, places and things not one - the Update Info Activity Log Timeline Friends 2,279 About Photos 503 More acebook Search for prode, places and things a Y Friends des Friends 415 Student Timoline About Photos 383 More 2,460 62.7K 545K 21.2M

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Tony Roundtree @Tonywithyy 14h ... This is how I look at the chilis waitress when she brings me my triple dipper DROWER E PROGR TNF NEL 64 2,800 30.3K 1.3M

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@twaniimals.15h ... 11 795 7,656 154K

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I - = katie @focusfronting. 15h his follow through is unbelievable Perun @BowTiedPerun - 1h ... Congrats on publicly admitting to being a snitch for the feds. 12 7 del 4.2K derek guy @dieworkwear 13m hello @FBI, i have some information for you Peru @BowTiedPe Jan 17, 2023 Replying to @BowTiedKong Whats the best way to stalk my ex while having plausible deniability if she calls the cops on me? 3 5 153 del 1.1K 100 2,909 65.5K 1.6M

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Gambling is Life @Gambling.... 1d ... THE 90/20 RULE @TONYZARET TRY WORKING AT A RATIO OF 90:20. 90-MINUTES OF WORK BEFORE TAKING A 20-HOUR GAMBLING BREAK. THIS WILL CREATE A FUN CYCLE WHERE YOU DO LOTS OF GAMBLING, AND LEAVE A FULL 2.5HRS FOR EXTRAS LIKE SLEEP, WIFE OR CHILDREN. 119 4,092 77.8K 5.4M

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music struggles @musicstruggl... 1d ... RIP to the Threatening Music Notation twitter account, you will be missed Threatening Music Notation @T... 6/27/22 ... An avocado that looks like a quarter note:) 5.4K 39K 297K Threatening Music Notation @ThreatNotation Stop saying guac and balls stop stop stop stop stop it Threatening Music Notation 1d I will no longer be posting on this account. This is because Elon Musk has made this sit... 35 7,559 103K del 2.1M

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thawg @dykeordeath.1 19h unironically how christians act çog Jessica COR @images_i_... 1d Food 4 Eat @Gilgamaxxx Love To the girl I made kill herself In HS. How's hell bitch 6:52 PM 7/5/22. Twitter for iPhone 1 Retweet Drew @DREW44444444444-6m Replying to @Gilgamaxxx ?? 1 1 MILF Food 4 Eat @Gilgamaxxx.6m ... You go to hell for killing yourself because B Love it's a sin 203 3,631 39.9K

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jordan @irie592.1d God forbid someone have a 10 piece wing combo before hitting the stage She's Fishy 7 @ShesFishy.2d So Latto pregnant now too? What's in the female rap air? cc and Cause I'm not an SHA OM 317 6,342 137K 3.9M

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Nemo @thecaptain_nemo- 21h having a nicotine addiction is basically just adding a new base layer to maslow's hierarchy for no reason 84 475 9,476 292K

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ej*y. @imsufjanstevens 1d ... taking selfies that will probably never see the light of the day You're not made for human eyes. 2 1,499 18.6K 228K

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p @thrdmurder.1d ... Everyone asking me where it is, sorry the restaurant literally blew up in flames as I exited wtfffff p @thrdmurder.1 1d First time trying Ethiopian food... it was T0000000000 good 366 8,236 234K del 7.5M

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Spy @wildingspi 22h I feel like they were actually super nice to him? Pop Base @PopBase.2 23h Hailey Bieber reacts to Billboard ranking Justin Bieber as the 8th greatest pop star of the 21st century: Billboard is a f*cking joke as per usual! b billboard THE GREATEST POP STARS Ь OF THE NO. 8 JUSTIN BIEBER OF THE q THE GREATEST POP STARO haileybieber Sh Billboard is a fucking joke as per usual! 96 1,347 68.7K 1.8M

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Grace Microwave User @mi... 1d ... dude in this class just dropped hermaphrodite and the room fell SILENT 186 1,483 90.6K 2.8M

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Jared @b1g_damage 14h ... googling effect vs affect in an incognito window 36 703 8,216 del 115K

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Muted. Argue with yourself. 18h ... The way reading and writing is about to be a rare skill again is crazy deek @jacuzzicoaster.1d Being someone who graduated right before everyone started using chatgpt to write a sentence GIF 2 15.4K 162K . 2.1M

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bum @BattleRapBum.1 1d ... that @meekdaonee.1 1d clg If yall broke just say that 286 9,940 60.4K 2M

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eleanor @dimestorepaglia• 18h jack schlossberg if the kennedys were italian catholic instead of irish catholic 14 378 11.5K 188K

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sean @DilettanteryPod-1d ... I'm addicted to every post like this. The dictionary! blue @bluewmist.4d fundamental collections of books to have read in order to call yourself a reader. rychopathology of EVERYDAY LIFE WORKS CLASSICS BHAGAT SINGH ENEDE Paulo Coelho SIGMUND FREUD THE ALCHEMIST JOSE K I THE TRIAL ...... Habito ... FRANCEIN MINALLES FRANZKAFKA DON'T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU THINK The Concite ART OF SEDUCTION JOSEPH NGUYEN ROBERT THE MIRACLE MORNING HAL ELROD GREENE I DO EPIC SHIT Ankur Warikoo Negernaut DRYD THE SECRET S RHONDA BYRNE How to Win Friends and Influence People DALE CARNEGIE MARK EVERYTHING IS MANSON FOCKED

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chloe @ChloeNumberIII.- 13h ... saying this in front of the other two is so rude?? I think I'll miss you most of all. 367 5,348 150K 3.2M

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