67 Funny Tweets About Driving That Will Have You Honking With Laughter

That’s so true, actually
67 Funny Tweets About Driving That Will Have You Honking With Laughter

wise man once tweeted, “The best part about driving a 2010 Honda Civic is you can just like bump into stuff. Who cares.” 

This is the kind of freethinking that inspires people to open their minds and operate outside of the constraints of daily life. Yes, this particular proverb is only insightful for 2010 Honda Civic drivers and is terrifying for everyone else on the road, but that’s philosophy for you — you can’t please everyone. 

Thankfully, there are more hilarious and blissfully ignorant tweets for the non-Honda Civic drivers out there, too, including how to contest a parking ticket, a hack for finding street parking in L.A. and why every car needs a second horn. 

On that note, please remember the rules of the road: Keep your eyes on the road, position your hands at 9 and 3, and most importantly, always point and laugh when you see a Cybertruck.

Debbie Downer ... @ANGELBABYBITTY Please stop letting Tesla owners be Uber drivers how the Fuck do I get out 11:48 AM Feb 19, 2024 3.3M Views 267 7.4K 63K 1.4K
sam filby ... @two_standpoints uber driver is making small talk with me and asks me what i do, so i said i study philosophy, and he immediately says oh nice man you hear it was Kant's 300th birthday a few weeks ago? i bet you people went wild for that 9:17 PM May 13, 2024 5.3M Views 217 5.8K 185K 5.4K
zach silberberg ... @zachsilberberg every time i get into a lyft or uber and it turns out to be a tesla i'm like, wow! these truly are the stupidest fucking door handles to ever be invented 12:26 AM May 19, 2024 2.1M Views 146 3.2K 62K 766
ipad kid ... @LifelessShetbag pov: you're longlegs and your uber just noticed a speed trap Brooklyn @bklynb4by . I Nov 10 oh i leave quite an impression 9:29 PM Nov 10, 2024 661K Views 10 1.3K 21K 586
Kelski @kelskiYT Me to the Toyota Camry that cut me off on the highway Kommander Karl @kommanderkarl Nov 7 Toyota finally making a car I can reload Hydrogen Hydr TOYOTA LAUNCHES SWAPPABLE HYDROGEN FUEL CELLS FOR UNLIMITED RANGE IN ELECTRIC VEHICLES 3:03 AM Nov 8, 2024 1M Views 53 6.1K 48K 3K
Road Dog Karl ... @HammerFist3 Loving the energy my new mechanic is serving That is my claim number Thank you rod Any idea on timing ? | appreciate you working on my car let me know if you need anything else Delivered iMessage Pay 9:39 PM Jan 4, 2022 54 2.5K 89K 442
cats with jobs Subscribe ... @CatWorkers My mechanic is small. 0:09 From HZ 9:45 PM . Jun 24, 2024 . 510K Views 125 2K 27K 870
ava! ... @F41rygirl me when a mechanic is talking to me TV IS A24 ID BEAU BEAU IS AFRAI AFRAID MJ A24 BEAU IS BEAU JIS A AFRAID AFRAID 11:29 AM Dec 28, 2023 . 2.1M Views 35 7.7K 68K 1K
Subscribe ... @Whotfismick *me getting my oil changed* mechanic: we've also notice that- me: 2:00 PM Feb 17, 2024 19.3M Views 1K 41K 410K 9.4K
wild bumper stickers ... @wildbumper IF YOU HONK AT ME I WILL KILL MYSELF HOW AM I DRIVING? I'M NOT THIS VEHICLE IS BEING DRIVEN BY 700 RATS tC 9:44 AM . Jun 20, 2024 . 17.2M Views 894 49K 546K 22K
latke ... @latkedelrey not that i've ever honked because of a bumper sticker but what the fuck does it mean then Vivian @suchnerve Aug 13, 2023 autistic people will see a honk if you like pizza bumper sticker and think it means if i like pizza, i should honk 11:24 PM Aug 15, 2023. 6.1M Views 141 4.5K 75K 1.1K
empress sissi ... @historicalfits what the fuck is a body shop 10:02 PM Feb 5, 2023 1.6M Views 198 1K 19K 234
joq ... @quinjoq in america if you come to a full stop at a stop sign the other americans will begin to take aim at you with their pistol or rifle 12:31 AM Nov 2, 2024 1.3M Views 127 7.2K 93K 1.9K
annabelle 3: ... @oomfabelle How it feels to arrive at a four way stop sign 0:13 From nohobal head of marketing 10:37 AM Dec 28, 2023.395.7K Views 2 1K 9.7K 598
microplastics frequency resonator ... @DiabolicalSpuds What if we kissed under the lower-case serif STOP sign stop 6:36 PM Oct 13, 2024 7.3M Views 331 12K 212K 4.6K
Toney! Toni! Toné! ... @the_notorious_ Don't invite me anywhere with a chaotic parking situation. 2:23 PM Oct 13, 2024 2.8M Views 352 22K 77K 1.5K
Eric ... @odailybitch parking garages be like RICKDICK 10:37 AM May 4, 2024.3.4M Views 206 9.9K 134K 1.6K
erin chack ... @ErinChack here's my hack for finding street parking anywhere in LA - DRIPS N - KRYLON COLORmaxx PAINT PRIMER BOOK OUTDOOR MATTEDEEPGRAY - PREVENTS adidas - RUSS 10:25 PM Jun 26, 2023 . 7.3M Views 295 8.1K 136K 2.3K
Isabel Steckel ... @IsabelSteckel pleading insanity for a parking ticket 3:54 PM Dec 1, 2023 355.6K Views 6 1.1K 9.9K 125
Peter Yang Subscribe ... @petergyang I will never get a parking ticket again. NO PARKING 11A.M. TO 1 P.M. TUESDAY STREET CLEANING - TOW WAY SCHOOL DAYS STOPPING NO MON THRU FRI COM THRU 4 PM SCHOOL DAYS EXCEPTIONS 15 MON THRU FRI MINUTES 7 TO 8 AM SCHOOL BUSINESS CCMC / 03 300 - DE TOW WAY SCHOOL DAYS 1 HOUR CCMC PARKING 7.03.016 FRI MON THRU 6 PM 4PM ONCE PER DAY, PER DISTRICT CCMC 7.93 305 DIST. PERMITS 4 EXEMPT CULVER CITY BOARD PROHI KARAL TOMATON TOW AWAY SURTING *OPENATION AND SCHOOL CCMC7.63.018 It's Wednesday at 4 pm. Can I park at
Jordan Not Going To Start Smoking Keyes ... @ItsKeyes Joyfully shouting, Oh man, LOVE this song and then accidentally turning the shifter knob so hard the transmission falls out on the freeway PO F ON VOLUME PRNDL A/C (P) 10:23 AM Oct 21, 2022 234 4.3K 65K 996
Subscribe ... @Whotfismick Talbu Driving at night with astigmatism 2:00 PM May 21, 2024 31.5M Views 886 33K 153K 9.7K
Matt. ... @MattTheBrand The best part about driving a 2010 honda civic is you can just like bump into stuff. who cares 7:21 PM Oct 8, 2024 2.7M Views 300 5.2K 105K 2.2K
mr. wife ... @wrinklefreelee one thing they don't tell you in driving school is that it's ok to miss your exit and get off on the next one and loop back, instead of coming nearly to a full stop in the middle of the freeway or careening across multiple lanes of traffic quickly to try to make it 11:26 AM Aug 8, 2024 1.7M Views 259 7.6K 110K 1.8K
cait.bsky.social ... @punished_cait there should be like a second horn on your car for when the light is green and the person in front of you isn't going bc they're on their phone but you're not like mad about it. hi bestie i love you beep beep it's driving time 8:45 AM May 9, 2023 2.6M Views 293 6.3K 79K 936
Lazzyyyyyy ... @em_Lazzy when he holds ur thigh while driving>>> kut 2:47 PM Jul 1, 2024 12.1M Views 542 15K 225K 7.4K
Monsieur Chowdery, PhD ... @daleMcQueef Asked my uber driver if he could even see the road... he just told me to live bet the over and everything would be okay 9:37 PM III novav RRRY CHOCOLATE 9 AA 7LSU Des WITH Charleston of 9:37 PM novav
inverted vibe curve: we were burgertown al... . 2d ... if I were marooned by flooding at burning man I would simply drive away in my cyber truck, which is waterproof enough to serve briefly as a boat, and can cross rivers, lakes & even seas that aren't too choppy, 12 227 3,691 157K
Zonnique @Zonnique - 23h ... driving and conversing in the car with my child then she says simon says just drive don't talk gagged tf out of me 451 6,682 115K 1.9M
kelly @BoyYeetsWorld.1d uber driver asked me for my name and hobbies so he could do a freestyle rap about me while driving then played shark tank in the car when he was done. i've never given a higher tip in my life. 420be Rue - - - - 5:30 : Audio Volume de Shark Tunk 107 WLSDI AUDIO a SISEpa Ephode CAR Select Device RAND II SETUP 11 910 28.1K 468K
LUCKY @itsluckypurr 2d Guy on an electric bike asked if I was single and I told him I'm not really into dating right now and he said that's cool and let me ride his very cool electric bike but when it was over he said that's what you're missing and scooted off into the distance 262 7,997 241K 3.9M
Brendan Karet @bad_takes 1d ... KATAHDIN oh? my ugly car looks like a piece of shit? - - and well it actually looks better than a pile of garbage i put next to it Kevin Chau @kchau 2d If you think the @cybertruck looks like a dumpster, you might need to get your eyes checked or maybe check yourself into a mental institution. Sales Center 3505/5 NO PARKING LANE 25 287 9,921 del 214K
Patricia Wallinga @pwallinga 22h ... I think this is just called speeding and you can do it in any car 6'3 pool boy bitch @y....5d ? Whole Mars Catalog Subscribe @WholeMarsBlog Everyone needs a Cybertruck. it's not just about being a truck guy. It's a vehicle everyone needs at some point. Last night I had to run to Costco really quickly before they closed. In a gas truck I would have missed the chance. In Cybertruck I got there 3 minutes before the expected ETA 137 3,529 106K 1.6M
C. E. Aubin @ceaubin 18h We've gotta bring back this kind of propaganda if we're ever gonna stop climate change When you ride ALONE you ride with Hitler! Join a Car-Sharing Club INSIMER TODAY! 259 5,414 71.9K 932K
ugly childrens @uglychildrens 1d ... My ex-boyfriend's bike that he locked in front of my apartment 2 years ago and never came back for 95 613 19.6K 697K
vero %١ @outrov3ro 18h look at my mechanic y'all my car ain't ever getting fixed 205 13K 147K 2M
jas @jaass2x.13h Parking tickets are hilarious this is literally gods earth dawg who are you to say i cant park there 19 2,855 15.1K 326K
Tony P. @Tbone7219. 1d ... On my days off I like to go to a crowded store and find a good parking spot and sit in my car for 20 minutes with the reverse lights on. 92 117 832 21.7K
:( @itsoverkitten . 1d I am wasting away my life and I have horrible posture and I'm too scared to drive on the highway 175 17.2K 111K 2.5M
James Parker @panoparker 1d Paid over £232 for a train ticket if the ticket inspector doesn't show up I'm going looking for him 249 8,203 226K 4.9M
Mister Silly @GrustanCoff.21h ... Guy who crashes his car because he thought the bright red octagon was a meatwad sign instead of a stop sign CORDSHAKE NATION ... ... 1d this is insane someone is gonna die APOPK LAKEVILLE RD 60 1,903 31.8K 805K
Anti-Fascist Turtle @TheAntif... 22h ... Following @smilingnodding.bsky... seeing a cybertruck in the wild is fun bc only 3000 have been sold so its like oh WOW theres our towns Biggest Dipshit. look at him go! MKNZ ед @Revivadrin64.22h HELP I JUST SAW A FUCKING CYBERTRUCK 274 7,071 76.7K 1.4M
beer person @CantEverDie 2h ... maybe the funniest explanation for a recall i've seen Tesla is recalling the Cybertruck again, this time because a piece can fly off By Peter Valdes-Dapena, CNN J 2 minute read Updated 4:08 PM EDT, Tue June 25, 2024 61 348 4,385 70.7K
wild bumper stickers @wildbu... 1d ... St Patereborg ezil THERE'S NO REASON TO TAILGATE ME WHEN I'M DOING 50 IN A 35. AND THOSE FLASHING LIGHTS ON TOP OF YOUR CAR LOOK RIDICULOUS. NISSAN 15 2,684 78.9K 1.6M
Lizzie Logan @lizzzzzielogan 1d a cybertruck is not a truck because a 2 ABBA year old boy would never look at it and say truck! and that's the test 33 2,702 63.7K del 902K
(doctor) Alex Grease @dodgonkulator 1d ... this is a pretty good feature for a car to have DRIVE MODE 12V ABOW 693 22K 511K 16
kc @powcampsurvivor • 19h exited the highway and followed this car for 6 miles for no real reason at all. his license plate didn't say anything funny i just wanted to freak him out СИМЕ 715 14 475 7K 253K
todd bonzalez @doinkpatrol.1 1d had a beautiful moment of community today when everyone gathered to point and laugh at a cybertruck parallel parking in bushwick 17 1,357 42.7K 843K
NIETZSCHE @madeinnaij. 1d ... my lyft driver saying this is his first time driving on the 360 2,916 84.9K del 1.7M
chellz. @b0mbchell_ 1d ... Y'all I went to go pick up my food right so I'm sitting in the parking lot taking a few bites before I drive off, my windows down this lil boy and his mom walk past, the boy says look mom she's eating in the car the mom gon say yeah some ppl can't wait till they get home sweetie causes u ffer GIF ALT 394 4.5K 93K 1.6M
SLUG @generalslug 13h credit to romania for being the only country with government programs to support a fatter-assed citizenry Fascinating @fasc1nate.13h In Cluj, Romania, you can pay for your bus ticket by doing 20 squats. Disabled and elderly people get to ride for free. 6 BILETUL DE B I per SUD FOR DESNG de ENEAZÃ-TE CU FESTIVAL! ZAZA-TE CO FESTIVAL! CHIPA WITH RTIV MA SPORTS грив REMANIAL BILITUL CELU DESANATATE ORAS DIN 71 8,043 103K 3.3M
Kaitlin Newman @KaitlinObs... 1d ... My boyfriend's bike was stolen out of our backyard today. It was meticulously locked up around our fence, so you might ask me Kaitlin, if it was so meticulously locked up on the fence they how did they steal it? That is because they also stole the fence. 166 2,853 67.8K 1.2M
amelia elizalde @ameliaelizalde. 1d ... i have a really special relationship with my mechanic Wendell where i i tell him about the different sounds my car makes and he says you have to stop driving that car and i say come on Wendell! and then i keep driving it 8 172 6,243 du 106K
zach silberberg @zachsilberberg- 1d ... every time i get into a lyft or uber and it turns out to be a tesla i'm like, wow! these truly are the stupidest fucking door handles to ever be invented 137 2,830 54.9K du 1.8M
the information pimp @BirdR... 13h ... this is a waste of spray paint. the truck is going to break down before anyone even sees your hard work LeGate @williamlegate. dd cyber truck owners are complaining of vandalism due to the Tesla brand now being intrinsically tied to Elon's negativity & bullshit. RIGON FUCHYOU 17 280 4,212 89.3K
Keara Sullivan @superkeara 1d ... I have no problem with someone driving a cybertruck in the privacy of their own home. But driving a cybertruck in public and exposing children to the loser lifestyle? Now that's just wrong... 8 717 9,128 123K
Ski @Scams_Club.22h ... Bitches be tryna make shit sound better than it is let's get a bottle and ride around BITCH YOU WANNA DRINK & DRIVE!!!??? 348 5,407 26K del 1.1M
not j*ss @itsnotjess123. 1d a piece of my car fell off while i was parking... AA Qis every part of your car important Google Sign in X is every part of your car impo All Images Videos Shopping News Books 68 2,884 64.7K 1.6M
I'm Her @Columbiana_30k·td ... My taxes done hit while I'm doing UBER, ma'am please get the f*ck out my car!! 686 5,066 48.3K 2.1M
pickle king @nikescarkyle 1d ... The European mind cannot comprehend buying one of these at a truck stop at 1 am 14 249 3.1K 105K
alex @bigsuitfilms 2d Card got declined on the bus I feel like Josh O'Connor in Challengers alex @breadsongg•2 2d Taking the train I feel like Josh O'Connor in La Chimera 3 743 18K 622K
paula @paularambles. 1d ... lyft ride to the airport this morning was a little bumpy and then the driver goes my drink got spiked in sf ten years ago and i think they implanted a chip because i still hear voices and it's derailed my life to the point where i was only able to start driving again last week 58 625 24.6K 443K
FALL4NUN @gokraxxy12.12h ... this why i don't get in my sister car nomo she just drove off and left her bumper 631 3,775 42.5K 1.5M
picardie aurora @picardie_aur... . 15h ... people who get off at my bus stop have a certain wisdom all too rare in the world today. people who get off at the bus stop before mine are doubtless idlers. people who get off at stops after mine have ways that are foreign and uncertain but one imagines idolatrous 5 1,812 16.4K 330K
Cleotrapa @iamcleotrapa 16h ... Lyft driver farted this truck tf up before getting me! Ok my turn dirty! 33 80 843 32.8K
NATL PARK SRVC @NATLPARKSRVC . 1d you better not be a cunty truck stop beaver mascot when i get there my unruly ass: INSTRUCTIONS Remove 3759 3549 3329 Nozzie PREMIUM UNLEADED UNLEADED UNLEADED PLUS Select Grade To Right 93 89 87 ... GILEARCO VELDEN ROOT Sassy TRUCK ST P ound! The best DAM truck stop 2.3K 41 27K 1.1M
Cof fee Lovers and Fans 5h ... Stealing someone's car and doing a car acknowledgement before every time I drive it 10 859 10.1K 294K

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