50 Hilarious Tweets About Aging That Never Get Old

I’m still in my prime!
50 Hilarious Tweets About Aging That Never Get Old

Does the mere thought of leaving the house after 8 p.m. make you shudder? Do you feel just as hungover after half a beer as you did after five shots of tequila during your college days? Do you hear the term “Fanum Tax” and immediately think of Ebenezer Scrooge? If so, we regret to inform you that you are officially elderly — or at least over the age of 28. 

But getting up there in years isn’t all bad. The Millennials and Gen X-ers of Twitter have come to discover that aging can be pretty funny, especially if you’re able to have a “Squidward-related midlife crisis” like one lucky guy. 

From watching the youth yearn for the olden days of 2008 to the joy of seeing a matinee in a theater full of elderly people, these funny tweets, unlike us, will never get old.

Kenty @FakeKenty. 22h Just found out my friend who is wise beyond his years is older than I thought. Now he's just normal... 4 133 4,658 62.8K
7/11 Truther @DaveMcNamee3000. 1d  yes I remember you, you're my grandson! afil GROUND News afit VIAGRA® Mnf 100 mg sildenafil Tozyf VIAGRA® Onzer 100 mg sildenafil RA® Pfizer a rizzfld VIAGRA® Phz 100 mg sildenafil VIAC Lot: 100 mg sila nisa Pfize VI 10 Pfizer Trending Health 20 sources Viagra reduces 100 the risk of developing Alzheimer's by 18%, study suggests L 40% с 55% 14 232 64K 2.5K
ely kreimendahl Subscribe ... @ElyKreimendahl fellas, don't date that girl who's too young for you. in college my friend dated a thirty year old and we called him Old Balls behind his back 9:49 PM May 28, 2023 3.2M Views 331 2.6K 64K 886
cage @ihatecage.23h yolo SOAT brat summer but i turn 26 tomorrow so i'm getting kicked off my health parents insurance plan 220 5.3K 131K 4
Cait @CaitCamelia 18h Ever since I was a little girl I always dreamed of buying a home at 56 years old SPECTATOR INDEX The Spectator Index 19h UNITED STATES: CNBC reports the average age of the US homebuyer has risen to 56 52 3,982 59.8K 1.3M
sweatpants cher Follow ... @House_Feminist Millennials complain a lot about how we can't afford homes or retirement savings like our parents, but we have a lot of things they didn't...like GPS, food allergies, adult acne, side hustles, and fluency in mental health terminology. 2:08 PM Jan 28, 2024 4,705 Views
Rodney Lacroix Follow ... @RodLacroix Bad news: With the stock market in a nosedive, I've had to increase my retirement age. Good news: I'm going to live to 157. 12:11 PM Mar 15, 2023 3,959 Views 22 100 4 1
kida @kidasnow. 1d 24 is a great age bc you survived 19 AND 23 252 8.8K 59K 2.3M
Pandy Fackler @ThatBrenna. 1d I'm often mistaken for an adult because of my age 11 1,516 7,935 202K
bai @sirmichaeI 18h a @aallleeexxxxxx1-1d my gay son and thot daughter have refused to take care of me in my old age 9 2,648 38.5K 897K
Friend of Paddington @Tommy... 1d ... Getting older is watching more and more of the people in your life do half- marathons 44 2,294 26K del 1M
GlennyRodge @GlennyRodge 6d Me, age 12: I can be anything I want Me, age 18: I can be successful if I work hard Me, now: I can be back from the shops by 1 if go now 15 899 11.6K 261K
macklin @saintmacklin 3d I have no issue with age gap relationships as long as the old one is hot 244 8.1K 108K 3.1M
kenny/cooper mw ace ... 1d ... reverse age regression where i pretend to be 70 years old and my care taker has to sit with me and watch jeopardy 56 4,509 33.5K del 402K
Chrissy @keepitchrissy•1 16h Ngl the older generation was right the problem really be that phone! 59 8,043 25.5K del 668K
the federalist stinks!!!! @rajan... 9h ... Between Olivia Nuzzi and Laura Loomer, it's been a huge week for 31-year-old women you could've sworn were older 52 1,079 14.3K del 269K
c*ss*ndr* @truth_enjoyer 21h ... just found out that time makes you bolder, even children get older, and I'm getting older too 11 1.5K 13K 254K
no context memes @weirddalle. 7h ... My parents at age 23 Let's migrate to another country so our kids can have opportunities Yes Me at age 23 U can put anything in this airfryer fr 33 1.6K 35.4K 818K
John B. Holbein @JohnHolbein1.20h ... timeless The age I consider old My age 127 6,612 107K 3.4M
(brain) worm buxx @kayteterry 18h ... So today I found out that alligators are immortal. Together with crocodiles, they have no finite lifespan. They live and grow unless they are affected by a disease, accident, or another predator. This quality, scientifically known as negligible senescence, means that crocodiles and alligators don't die because of old age. That doesn't mean they are immortal. 650 7,124 125K 5.4M
islay // misty SOON AnthroCon @s.... 1d ... Staring at this rubberband like a sheltered elderly woman whose morning toast looks a bit too much like Jesus ASTER KOHLER 83 6,370 75.8K 778K
с lleen @cadetcoll 16h Getting older doesn't mean bendering less it means bendering smarter 6 879 6,134 262K
@0boymeetsw0rld 1d ... I knew this at 1 years old KR. @thekaylarenee_. 3d the older you get, the more you appreciate just chilling at home doing nothing. 5 2.4K 20K 466K
Joshua Anansi @JoshuAnansi• 1d ... Almost choked to death on a jack and coke because I took a sip just as the old grizzled survivalist asked the young skinny blonde bartendress what her plan is for surviving the collapse of society and she said with utmost conviction, Oh, I would just kill myself. 192 3,481 73.7K del 1.8M
Fesshole @fesshole 19h FESS HOLE When I was a young boy I shat myself quite spectacularly in the middle of assembly. Went back to my old village last night; as I walked in the pub a bloke shouted out 'oi Shitter!'. I'm 63 and haven't been there for over 45 years. 130 561 20.2K del 1M
muad'bob (gooch) @bobgoo... 1d ... there is only one young Dexter I respect and it's 40 year old Michael с Hall DiscussingFilm @Discus... 1d DF Patrick Gibson has been cast as young Dexter in the 'DEXTER' prequel series.... 67 1,843 18.5K 2.1M
elizabeth handgun @OneFeIIS... 11h ... just learned that the oldest spider known to science was 43 years old........ she didn't even die of old age...... her wikipedia page quotes a scientist who said she was cut down in her prime........ 34 904 23.2K 708K
John Frankensteiner @JFrank... 15h ... New incredible John Carpenter quote just dropped How do you feel about getting older? What's that experience been like for you? How old are you? I'm 36. I'm pretty young. You're a child. That pisses me off. Larry Fitzmaurice @lfitzm... 23h Latest newsletter is an interview with the legend John Carpenter on his new album, buying gifts for people, therapy, basketball, Diablo IV, Maes... 20 1,905 13.1K 624K
feral goblin @michaelacoletta 11h ... MESSAGES now Fake ID guy You still owe me $400 for that last ID. The one where it says your 7 years old MESSAGES now Primary Care physician Yep. 1000th percentile. for height for your age. 2 672 16K 317K
Ghostface Kryllah @kryzazzy 23h I hate when healthy me does the grocery shopping 6 380 3.8K 97K
Tee Lopes @TeeLopes 16h ... Forcing OG Xbox to stand is criminal. No respect for the elderly Buffaloking @Buffaloking5....1 1d What is Xbox's peak generation? #gaming X80X 122 9,417 116K 2.9M
karanbir singh @karanb... 23h ... And to my great grandchildren, I leave my box of assorted cables 17 909 9,917 197K
paige @BonerWizard 22h young Michael Keaton got strong young Sheldon vibes. This means we found our Old Sheldon. 129 1,809 49K 1.2M
kelbin @pissboymcgee - 5 5d Not talking shit in any way shape or form but that is hair that 50 year old lesbians dream of having. Bravo young man Nicole Griffith @nicolegriff_ 5d Can confirm x.com/kaynaegeli/sta... THE OFFICIA E KAS gaw and NAL MORNS® ROUSE ANS a DEADO 87 7 5.6K 202K
john с standard reilly @nickhex... 1d ... Dr. Pepper is healthy because it's made by a doctor 29 1,587 6,084 247K
Beth McColl @imbethmccoll 1d ... imagine being 79 begging your 80 year old mate to go in the shops for you for 20 B&H 000 NEWS BBC Politics 000 NEWS POLITICS @BBCPo... 2d Smoking age in England should rise by one year, every year, so that eventually no-one can buy them, Rishi Sunak says ... 31 610 14.7K 935K
broti gupta @BrotiGupta 4d I think what this guy has achieved is looking completely ageless. that doesn't mean young, that means that i wouldn't believe ANY number of years. i'd believe his age was something like a shape, or a texture. even a thin mist made up of an unknown gas vittorio @IterIntellectus 10/31/24 bryan may be up to something. he does NOT look 47 CLYSIUM REJUVENATION 19 59 2.3K 99K
alasdair @alasdair_gbs.22h back in my day, people could stop working when they got old! sure sweetie, let's get you back to your desk AddresStock #7608719 Guardian news @guardia... 1d UK state pension age will soon need to rise to 71, say experts dlvr.it/ T2JtTq 32 6,263 50.1K 1M
Sophie Ellis-Bextor @SophieEB.2d Again, not fake news. FSN Fake Showbiz News @FakeShowbizNews. 3d Sophie Ellis-Bextor says at the age of 44 she feels too old to learn any new board games. I'm done, she told reporters 285 2K 48K 2.9M
1984's George Whorewell @E... 10h ... sorry if I'm weird I had unrestricted internet access at a young age 23 7,704 34.4K du 694K
ariel @webbyheart. 1d everytime i talk about my birds age HES HORRIBLE HES LIKE A CHILD how old is heee 9:35 PM he's 43 this year! 9:36PM 1 new message come again? 9:36PM 286 5,507 130K 3.1M
Charlie White @CharlieWhite_... 18h ... Pointless having mates if they haven't got you like this Heaco Retirement Savings Plan TESCO Expression or wish DICTION - - SAMPA - SKICO prime - Do you want £110,000 if I die during my employment at Tesco Hahahh Yes 32 322 11.7K 471K
Austine @theereal_one. dd ... Not a SINGLE cookie in this fuckin house smh ally @allyluvx. 1d Can't stand when healthy me does groceries 62 7.8K 58K 3.2M
michelle. @michkeenah 16h 28 year olds being the older people in question is taking me outtttt M. @mxniquejade_.1d Talking to older people is all fun and games, until you see exactly why they're 28 and single. 84 4,350 28.1K 791K
wild TikTok screenshots @wildtiktokss. 6h I can't wait to be old. + I'm gonna go to diners alone to make young 54.1K people sad. I might ... even pull a picture of 114 my (still alive) wife to really get those tears 1695 rolling. 3171 shmomp 88 4K 72K 1.2M
layla @laylology 20h ... my elderly chihuahua waking up from her 12th nap of the day C 0:20 From zer 19 589 33K
jz2 @mixedgrass666.21h It's fun to go to the doctor when you're healthy. They made me feel like a prized horse 7 312 6,257 95.5K
Shane Clifford @brilliantshane. 1d ... Isn't it funny when you're a young child you think your parents know everything and then when you get to be their age you realise they had no idea what they were doing. I was scared of my dad when I was 5 but now I realise he was just 24. I should have told him shut the fuck up 190 11K 109K 3.3M
club sam reid @popstarlestat.1 1d me age 13: been getting really into vampires lately me age 18: i can't remember the last time i've felt genuine happiness me age 26: been getting really into vampires lately 101 15.6K 130K del 1.7M
Hercules Ceaser @GQSmooth981 6h ... Someone said another person had a 47 year old dodgeball textured face

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