44 of the Funniest Tweets from Friday, November 8, 2024

Bedtime is now 6 p.m.
44 of the Funniest Tweets from Friday, November 8, 2024

Though Phil Dunster won’t be taking part in Ted Lassos potential revival, Bill Lawrence can’t get rid of him that easily. Instead, Dunster will star opposite Steve Carell in Lawrence and Matt Tarses’ currently untitled HBO comedy, which is set on a college campus and centered around “an author’s complicated relationship with his daughter.”

Elsewhere in Hollywood, Grammy nominations were announced today, revealing the five funny people who will be vying for Best Comedy Album. Ricky Gervais and Nikki Glaser became first-time nominees with their respective specials Armageddon and Someday You’ll Die, and Jim GaffiganTrevor Noah and five-time winner Dave Chappelle rounded out the category’s other three nominees. 

The timeline, of course, is also bringing its fair share of award-worthy laughs. Today’s funniest tweets include those about a horrifying snack plate, a great place to hold hands and the versatility of pants.

samira @samirasamatalis - 1d almost crashed my car trying to take a photo of this trucks business name GIVE GIVE WAY COOCHIE HYDROGREEN WAY LAWN CARE SPECIALISTS COOCHIE.COM.AU 1800 245 955 2017 COOCHIE.COM.AU EYLD-71K KEEPLEFT 121 1.5K 49K 44
Alex Tomko @avtomko 1d this is literally how the Planet of the Apes started, and given recent events, thank God. I for one welcome our new leader, Caesar. Ape Together Strong @PopBase 1d Pop Base 40 monkeys escaped from a research facility in South Carolina on Wednesday night. A police search is underway and residents have been advised to keep doors and windows secured. Smiling Beautiful Places Faces Welcome to South Carolina 12K 3.7M 149 104K
anita @skyguyapologist . 20h evil matt damon and ben affleck DF DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm .23h Hugh Grant when asked about his idea of perfect happiness & how he would like to die: Drinking a pint of London Pride while munching Twiglets & reading about Colin Firth having a critical & box office catastrophe... My wife has kindly agreed to sneak up behind me & shoot me in Show more 343 5K 4 110K
Kevin McHale @druidDUDE. 18h That's not- alexa! @unofficialAKP-18h GLEE FUN FACT IF YOU WANT TO PASS THE NEXT FOUR YEARS QUICKLY YOU CAN LOCK YOURSELF IN A BUNKER ON JAN 20TH, 2025 AND WATCH ALL OF 'GLEE' 292 TIMES WITHOUT STOPPING @BROADWAY.4ME 108 1.5K 52K 1.3M
Micah The Seeker @Micah_McGurk-18h I'd sign him too НЕ HAS FOUR ARMS SleeperNFL @SleeperNFL.1 1d The Panthers have agreed to terms with RB Chuba Hubbard on 4-year, $33.2M contract extension, per @RapSheet MASSIVE PAYDAY for Chuba $ 30 I 30 150 4.2K 4.2M 100K
alexandra @ternhavens 23h ... Rohita Kadambi @RohitaKadambi 1d you unfollow ppl over politics? I have unfollowed people for preferring Andrew Lloyd Webber over Sondheim. 2.6K 28K 576K 11
lili @tig3rlilii 4d when i see someone still has the pickle that came with their sandwich O GIF ALT 43 4.3K 45K del 1M
phoenix @phxforced.20h ... oh I'm sure Page Six Page Six @PageSix . 21h Ben Affleck's divorce from Jennifer Lopez is impacting his work with Matt Damon trib.al/anDUkXQ SOME CONG A А COURTING EXCLUSIVELY IN THEAT ENING 27 37K 1.3K 697K
Mike Scollins @mikescollins 22h If I were at that restaurant it wouldn't have gone down like that NEW YORK New York Post POST @nypost.22h Mark Wahlberg's Las Vegas restaurant catches on fire before ribbon cutting ceremony trib.al/bp8Ei2l FLECHA Hoche MUNI 54 1.5K 37K 1.4M
jynx @jynxbby 1d how i feel after putting a song on my Instagram story 21 5.1K 25K 511K
sarah @sandwichlover7. 1d ... checking my screen time this week Oh my god, I think this is the biggest I've ever seen 3 58 1.6K 58K
timmygami eyes @deliclit. 21h This is how ppl stand against the train door when ppl are trying to get out 4 479 8.8K 154K
Lauren Effect Kid 8 @SoulPunkStan 1d Fall Out Boy on the SNL set in 2006 before getting blacklisted for the next two decades: 4K 111K 101 del 7.3M
nova @comfypill. 1d ... how it feels to scroll twitter today GIF 24K 153 254K del 2.4M
Melech. @MelechThomas. 1 1d ... So...political science? Neil deGrasse Tyson @neiltyson 2d If Politics were driven by rational thought and objective truths, it would instead be called Science. 214 8.7K 113K 2.6M
Ruth Baader-Meinhof @VenturCommunist.2 20h Me addressing the homies Ben Zeisloft Follow ... @BenZeisloft Various transgenders, sodomites, apostates, and critical theorists 17 3.6K 34K 679K
cam @largemotorcycle. 1d So much fuckin jerk chicken sitting on my passenger seat the seat belt alarm is going off 2 58 1.4K 27K
boo-trick boo-tnoir @patrickcotnoir 1d I blocked a lady one time who said david S pumpkins isn't funny. brie @FALLENKENOBI. 1d you block people over politics? girl i block people who dont like star wars rebels 14 60 2.6K 102K
The Great El Wokismo @canderaid 23h ... A crucial Gavin Newsom strength is that he looks like a guy who would play the president in a movie which is absolutely key to winning the moron vote 148 2.4K 51K 982K
usul trap @paulatreideez - 9h ... this was so fucked up and scary... I was so scared The Hollywood Handle @Hollywood.... 8 8/30/24 Josh Hartnett chose to be shirtless in 'TRAP's climatic scene: I didn't want to cheat the audience. I wanted it to be as raw and scary and fucked up as possible. (Via: @people) 398 246K 10 7.1K
mau @rllydu - 20h this meeting couldve been a kiss on the lips 15 1,154 9,435 del 178K
hoe wrangler @rats4friends 18h ... give me one fucking reason not to end it 261 312 5,322 194K
mount bellyache @mountbelly....1 1d ... every episode of bojack emo @emxgala. 1d i feel so bad today 214 22.1K 260K 5.9M
Scottie @ScottieBeam 1d Pornhub PH https://www.pornhub.com >v view_... Dick Suckin Olympics Champ at Work Boosie BadAzz @BOOSI... 2d @realDonaldTrump CAN U PARDON ME ON MY FED CASE?i'm a NON VIOLENT FELON. THE COURTS RULED THAT a NON V... Show more 150 7,571 76.8K 2.6M
the streets @denpawing.22h ... r/Psychonaut u/bella-bloom 12h Thoughts on tripping with someone evil I will not divulge too much but I will be using mushrooms for the first time. Not a massive dose just 1g or so. The main thing is that I don't want to be alone, and actually even if I did, I couldn't be due to my living situation. I live with someone evil. 23 579 9,045 218K
Pastor Kyle. @itsqail 20h ... Wyd after work? Going to bed bro the sun is setting in 20 minutes 82 17.5K 120K 2.2M

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kat @popkalss. 1d how it feels trying to make food in the kitchen when there's other people in there cc From Tighnari 144 18.6K 170K to 2.1M
@ @lifeinchaos_ 23h ... There's no way we all live the same life rem up Khadija @Khadijakashif6.23h Me crying after imagining someone in my family dying, even though they are alive CG 0:06 111 6,997 48.2K 1.4M
LENNY @TheLenny_99 CONNECTED Hotspot Connected, no internet Jacixn @whoisjacian. 10h I love you as a friend What does that even mean? 239 6,366 31.1K 1.1M
insane poses @insaneposes.17h ... MONEY CASH NOES 153 1,745 10.6K 589K
ash @heythatsmeash -1 1d ... Overheard a guy ending a conversation: well, those are all my funny things I had to say. 353 8,397 150K 3.2M
Saltydkdan @saltydkdan 1d ... I silently passed gas on my flight today and 2 seconds later the guy sitting next to me looked at me like this GIF ALT 266 10.4K 171K 3M

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@marenyearly- 20h ? cinesthetic. @TheCinest... 1d Brad Pitt, 2012 421 4,932 107K 4.3M
Jenny Nicholson @JennyENic... 14h ... Lucasfilm teases next slate of fake projects that will be canceled DF DiscussingFilm @Discus... .1d 'STAR WARS' Episodes 10-12 are reportedly in the works. Simon Kinberg is writing the trilogy although some insiders think it may be the start of a new saga instead. (Source: Deadline) STAR WARS 75 685 13.4K 285K
Jason, ex inferis @benedictsred- 1d ... Props to just stopping in the middle of the grocery aisle. Personally never tried it, but it seems big. 65 1,520 25.7K 459K
David Hines @hradzka 18h ... would Alex Jones be the wise choice for press secretary? unquestionably no. does the White House press corps deserve to spend day after day locked in a small room with Alex Jones? that's a tougher question Alex Jones @RealAlexJ... 20h I formally accept the offer to serve as President Trump's new Press secretary. con 114 2,137 39K 906K
kevin.com @computercart +20h ... he's a kennedy. the second he steps into the white house he'll slip on a banana peel and fall out of a window julia hava @binchcity 1d In 4 years he'll be old enough to run x.com/ali_sivi/statu... Jack Schlossberg Follow American writer Education Age Harvard Law School 31 years (2017-2022), January 19, 1993 Harvard Business... +4 122 2,973 59.4K 1.2M
Thomas Stewart @Thomas... .2d ... I love game development @Conce... . 2d ConcernedApe PSA: if you are experiencing performance issues in Stardew Valley 1.6, remove all hats from pets. We will address the problem as soon as possible 22 1,882 25.2K 481K
normal garf @suctioncup_garf-2 23h ... big fan of the recently emerging genre of streamers performing unethical experiments on themselves that will result in permanent mental damage yoxic @yoxics - 1d YouTube Streamer Norme is attempting to stay in solitary for a FULL MONTH with no light he has been in there for 3 weeks and is starting to go insane 458:30:35 10 Norme gets food CG 5 handstand 20 straightjacket for 15 mins 50 mouth tape for 1 hour alamy I - ETERA 214 5,909 96.6K 2M
Invis @invis4yo.1 1d ... me trying to act normal W a period cramp 81 10.8K 38K 744K
Sunk Cost Pharisee @Liamjsm 3h ... There are two places to live: Dubai and Transylvania Vizi Andrei @viziandrei. 1 1d Why don't you move to Dubai? Average day in Transylvania: 18 354 11.9K 233K
Alexis @MokeyIRL . 16h You block people over politics? l'll block people if they say something too mean about a Muppet 26 3,154 24.5K 377K
Soph @sophiawpelton.2 23h It's amazing how many unique and unsettling ways there are for a pair of pants to not fit you 649 8,960 del 116K
C. Elegans @theElegantWorm.1 1d ... Throwback to the downward slope of my last relationship Order of Lenin, Type 4 awarded from 1943 to 1991 Awarded by the Soviet Union Hector Boyardee (Italian-born American chef & businessman, made particular cuisine for the Russian Army during World War Intcitation needed) They gave chef Boyardee the order of Lenin Fri, Apr 26 at 9:28 AM When you have time today or tomorrow. I think we need to have a phone conversation. 60 1,212 25.2K 525K

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