64 of the Funniest Tweets from the Month of October 2024

They’re dying, mother
64 of the Funniest Tweets from the Month of October 2024

October is always full of spooky characters, but one witch dominated October 2024. Agatha All Along has been among the most-watched TV series across multiple metrics, further proving that we should let comic book characters be horny. Meanwhile, Saturday Night Live kick-started its historic 50th season this month by mocking Spirit Halloween — only for the seasonal retailer to fire shots right back at the late-night sketch show. But the most terrifying thing of the last 31 days was our horrifying reminder that South Park’s creators are closer to EGOT status than Meryl Streep.

The month provided some scary funny tweets too, including those about a trick to developing good taste, a different way to play NYT Connections and the perfect place to cook up a parlay.

All about Steve @1StevieKilner 2d ... If anyone would like to see a picture of a gerbil hiding behind a blanket, this is your lucky day. 134 995 12K 218K
Why you should have a cat 2d ... Work drama 593 23.6K 204K 6.7M
Ela Bambust, professional au... 21h ... Imagine buying a website so people will think you're cool and two years later people photoshop you jumping out of a window on 9/11 Clarke @pleasuresystems-1d is this anything x.com/dougmillsnyt/ S... SWER MARS 1,035 23.7K 362K 9.1M
Gaga Crave @AMENART....1 1d ... + Search: joaquin phoenix lady gaga stefani 449 comments X Door Dashius III DOORDASH Lady Gaga looks like a real life Lois Griffin 2d Reply 267 View 2 replies 102 3,310 80.5K 1.9M
BIG мо... @JaYunnaMonae 14h ... LAV My face when I wake up from a nap and Apple done got me for 2.99 5.99 10.99 15.99 324 13.7K 63K 1.6M
Images AI Could Never Rec... 12h ... crying JAKO i Comments literally_gwimbly 1w This how cartoon Sheriffs be sleeping with the jail keys dangling out of his pocket within arm's 2 997 reach. Reply 8 940 24.3K 226K
hope!! @ghoul_collector - 1 15h ... WAIT... they don't love you like i love you 23 2,222 20.3K 314K
chris tachio @CTachio83984.1 19h ... getting uncharacteristically riled up after a few craft beer at trivia night and making a burner email to tell my boss that hes all sizzle and no steak 2 41 712 14.1K
Elrond Hubbard @OwennnTho... 3d ... I do the same level of work as a baby says landlord defending their 'job' Muz @Muzza1991.3d Just a couple of apparently non- working 50% tax paying Landlords x.com/bethrigby/stat... 30 3,514 68K 1.2M
Soundwave @LocalSoundwave. 2d ... The internet would've found the unibomber in a day if he had a fat ass W Wrestlelamia.com @wre... 3d The identity of MJF's masseuse has been revealed WRESTLELAMIA natalial.t 7h @the_mjf 106 4,262 96.5K 3.6M
M.E @Emmys 2d ... One time someone I know ran into John Lovitz on the street and was like John Lovitz?? To which he replied Jealous ?!! I think about that often. 150 1,634 38.8K 925K
*+:percy.:** @dreadfuldevOtee.3d ... that's hozier Lily of the Alley @Consum... 3d Not my sister's dog looking like a 13yo girl who just got grounded for texting during class 347 12.5K 210K 5.1M
cats being weird little guys... 2d ... she was in the catacombs Rachel @RRowanOlive. 4d EMMY WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN EXPLORING ALT 49 3,616 86.9K 2.1M
pettibone @christmasearwig 1d ... my six year old just made this bumper sticker for me ISHITOOTHER OFF CARS VP ON PURPOSE FOR FUN 319 15.1K 263K 4.3M
antisocial extrovert @Mus... 2d ... Make him act out anything you would've been watching if the tv was working. JT @Jaberuski.2d What's an appropriate punishment when your 8 year old cracks your 75 inch screen? 296 10.2K 115K 3.2M
flaco @tonytrucha 3d ... watching a movie at chili's is crazy i need to get like this kat @pandulcecat.4d It's that serious. Rewatching AGAIN ATIFS L S. MY CHILI'S 202 5,893 134K 4.8M
@witnessborne. 2d Logging onto NYT connections before bed, taking a moment to picture each of these items one by one, smiling serenely and closing the window without playing. Just a nightly reminder of the many Things in this big old world. Create four groups of four! QUESTION FORMAL COOKWARE RAVE MARK THUMBS PERIOD BALL DOT UP BAD EXCLAMATION HOP SATYR REVIEW POINTS CAMERA POINT HEART TITTLE MOVEMENT Mistakes remaining: 32 2,264 37.5K 883K
HallowSteven @StevenWallaby.3d ... In the late 90s there were 12 million boys who would have traded their parents to see this HEAVYWASH @HEAVY....4d 346 8,003 194K 5.1M
cassidy 5 DAYS @snlsmulan... 3d ... maya rudolph next week POP CRAVE Pop Crave @PopCrave.4d Beyoncé will perform at Kamala Harris' rally in Houston tomorrow, @NBCNew... 18 1,639 35.3K 978K
CHURRASCO SAUDADE @chu... 3d ... the scene at the end in goodfellas where henry is coked out and paranoid trying to make a sauce and go sell guns while a police helicopter is following him but its me going to whole foods and doing my laundry while i wfh 20 680 11.2K 294K
cory @coolmathgame_.22 congratulations my wife: do u want to hold him me: yes wow. he's so precious doctor: put me down 33 6,144 63.9K 813K
Victor Li @victor_ljz.4 4d ... memecucker 28 feb 2019 My friend said they went to a Zizek talk and eventually the moderator interrupted him saying I think it's time for questions and Zizek was like Ok. I will ask the first one. 'Professor Zizek what would you say if you had more time?' and then he proceeded to continue the talk as if nothing happened 53 3,304 62.3K 1.1M
steven @stevlmao.3d ... if you want to be in my spotify wrapped, you must defeat my 7 evil songs i looped at weirdly specific emotional points in my life this year. 118 39.2K 239K 2.9M
Paul McCallion @OrangePaulp 1d ... took me 15 minutes to realize that the reason why everyone at this party moved here in August is because they're all 23 4 89 10.5K del 217K
full spectrum warrior @lunchfan.2 2d ... scam call thing came to me and i answered and selected Chinese and when it went through i said nihao brother and the guy sighed and hung up 4 652 11.4K del 153K
charlie @chunkbardey.2 2d looking for shit is so annoying it's like ok... where is it 93 7,872 68.6K del 1.2M
LUCKY @itsluckypurr 2d Guy on an electric bike asked if I was single and I told him I'm not really into dating right now and he said that's cool and let me ride his very cool electric bike but when it was over he said that's what you're missing and scooted off into the distance 262 7,997 241K 3.9M
Gravantus @Gravantus 2d cowboydeanwinchester Follow ... will never forget when i worked in a fast food joint. some customer wrote like 86 cherries on their mobile order, as like a pretentious way of say no cherries, but the store was run by a bunch of high schoolers who are working their first job so they collectively went why does this guy want 86 cherries and like piled them onto his milkshake 259 8,186 238K 4.9M
The Don of Vaughan @SteveD... 3d ... Literally 1984 ! Comment removed This comment violates our Community Guidelines. Comment details enjoying Dubai should be classified as a mental illness Posted on 10-24 at 22:27 72 3,269 69.1K 942K
Anne Chovy @AnneChovy2.2 2d just learned about recency bias and its my favorite thing ever 300 12K 154K 3.6M
aiman @sunsetmusk.2d ... Every 6 months I realize how stupid I was 6 months ago 564 59.3K 260K del 6M
prolapsed catholic @chlumbuc... 2d ... So raecists is a no go..? addison rae charts @A... 2d Addison Rae expresses wishes to change her fandom name from sunraes to addicts as she loves the addi. VIA @STATIONHEAD 239 6,211 202K 6M
Lynxzyboy @lynxzyboy 10/3/24 ... I have plans I cannot share with you right now because the haters will sabotage me Subtotal $75266 Proceed to checkout (2 items) Keketangtang 13.8 in Diameter Oversized Soft fist Style Soft Rea... $5366 Only 16 left. Order now. Shipped from: KKTANG Color: Flesh-colored 1 + Delete Save for later T-shirt Launcher - Micro Mini - BLUE $69900 Only 2 left. Order now. Shipped from: War Machine Inc. 1 + Delete Save for later 745 12.3K 173K 5.3M
ken @JaiIpose- 5d ... Tell her Bron still doin it lol Bruke @BrukeFasil - dd My aunt woke up from a 13 year coma !!!!! 538 26.1K 258K del 10M
text man @TemuPenis 10/10/24 ... Chief Keef had the white boys standing like this nat @natzattack•1 10/10/24 how do i get him to stop doing This 21 1,588 25.5K 530K
Quantavius Nutsack @d... 10/16/24 ... Chinese buffet don't even give a fuck no more 1,859 16.6K 299K 9M
star ? @ForeverRiddler 10/2/24 ... lets all wear purple and green and not tell scarecrow Batman @Batm... 10/1/24 Appllist 99 4,945 77.6K 1.1M
Brad Long Con @volcel_genius 2d ... In this one, I imagine they'll sell the paper for pesos instead of dollars. Peso is sort of like their version of money down there DF DiscussingFilm @Discus... 4d A Mexican remake of 'THE OFFICE' is in the works. (Source: variety.com/2024/film/ glob...) 51 1,167 37.6K 1.1M
eleanor @dimestorepaglia• 1d r/Letterboxd Join u/thatOnebruv 13h what movie should my wife and i watch on our wedding night Letterboxd getting married next week! we're still trying to decide what would be a good movie to watch together newly wed 6 72 546 2,925 56.8K 2.7M
lala @ecto_fun 1d insane 30 paragraph dm request but this part made me laugh so hard Risen also squeezing your breast. When you're moans are loud enough, I pull the dress down a bit so that your beautiful bare breasts are exposed. I take a sip of the Ginger Ale soda I came in with. 626 7,322 166K 4.1M
fran wenclair mode activat... 1d ... oh shes a forgot:/ Jenna Ortega @jennaortega Lesbian rights ;) 4:46 AM 21/07/2020 18 comments b 2mo в Oh she's a forgot Reply 3 reactions ... 239 14.9K 261K 3.8M
gandalf the gay @beccaaabigail• 1d ... well, Clarice...have the lambs stopped screaming? NOOPY TOWN 52 5,351 51.1K 1.3M
katie @katefeetie3 3h ... the first person to invent a browser plug- in that blocks you from having to see any Al art is gonna be a millionaire 14 664 8,017 del 56K
always sunny out of context 17h ... Great. I was hoping you'd say that. el Let's kill ourselves. 3 2,191 21.4K 558K
andy from 5 to 7 @Champagn... 18h ... imagine cooking up some parlays with one of your boys here 79 433 11.1K 1.2M
Mr. Emotion @mr_e_motion 1d Sent this to a friend who just had her wisdom teeth out mother we are sorry mother we didn't mean to be bad it's so cold where we are 173 4,548 100K 2M
BASED SAVAGE @crackco... 23h ... LL Now you got federal charges for a rose toy and SHEIN nope @PrinceHAK33M·1 1d Stealing packages when you don't even know what's inside so crazy. 38 3,671 33.6K 859K
@Angelicali0 3 3d Just paid rent. Now I have a place to starve in 1,084 25.7K 227K 7.9M
Hustlanani @hustlanani.6d Me: When's your birthday Him: here you go with that zodiac sign stuff Actually I just wanna check the court websites 137 9,717 79.4K del 1.6M
Chris @iamchriscorooo. 1 1d Let's go to the pumpkin patch so I can compare pumpkins to your big head 26 2,905 12.6K del 498K
пух @NyxQuentiam - dd random number texted me yesterday Where are you, asshole? I like playing with toys and coloring in my coloring book and my favorite color is Blue Are you Roger 2 Quickly return my money to me | like bluey and going to the ZOO and being with my friends Oh, I'm Emma. sorry to bother you. Please forgive my rudeness, I think | got a fake number it okay I'm 6 Thank you, ,have a good day. 124 6,761 158K 1.9M
@CBAS5S 1d ... - 19 That wave of doctors who graduated on zoom in 2020 starting to hit Underdog NFL @... 9/6/24 NFL Rap: Christian McCaffrey (calf, Achilles) should be fine to play Week 1. 49 4,154 68.6K 3.3M
lucyfree @_lucyfree 1d kermit the frog is more iconic than mickey mouse bc if u heard someone was named mickey u'd just be like ok sure. but if someone said their name was kermit u would be like huh ????? like the frog ????????? 150 6,634 106K del 1.3M
saw facts @sawfacts . 1d they gave me a fuck ass bob 4F DiscussingFilm @Discus... . 1d First look at Billy the Puppet in Fortnite. GAME OVER 670 24K 288K 7.6M
William Shatner @WilliamS... .14h ... Not after reading this. Bleeding Purple Guy @Bl... .19h Replying to @WilliamShatner You good Captain? Copilot Here are a few more notable celebrities who have passed away in 2024: William Shatner: The legendary actor best known for his role as Captain Kirk in Star Trek, passed away at 93. 2,660 6,820 93.4K 2.4M
Liv @Liv_Agar 14h ... Showing my girlfriend a tik tok I know I just don't think it's funny Sorry 80 820 36K 878K
YS @NYinLA2121.20h Pepper spray @MysterySolvent2.0 @D....20h What is this an advertisement for? DE 1,620 3,830 86.8K 1.6M
Swimma @rachie8aa 1d .. We cannot all be trying to head home at 5:00PM. We have to start going home in groups 638 25.1K 230K del 7M
Boots, 'with the fur' @afraidofw... 1d ... Subject: Re: Noise complaint Dear Neighbor. I realize I've made this excuse before, but I'm serious this time. I'm going to kill myself tomorrow-if you could let this one last farewell party ride, I would appreciate it. (Next morning) Subject: Bright New Dawn Great news, 3 487 7,443 154K
bi-onic rad-neck @danielleradf.... 1d ... Megalopolis is a lot of things, and one of them is like if Baz Lurhman made a Batman movie but lost the rights half way through production 88 1,101 19.6K 734K
ellis @sum1saiditinnit-2 23h he's in the denial phase Salone Bobo | Career... 1d Losing women romantically is hilarious, oh no I've lost the opportunity to pay for everything- how will I survive??????? 205 7,822 111K 2.4M
Zombuddy @budbuddyguy - 1d ... Please stop slamming into the back of my Dragula. My insurance rates are so fucked, please stop. 50 6,464 32.3K 625K
dij @dijon39.1d ... girl in thje elevator said im very pretty and gave me a handful of quarters as a reward thank you elevator girl 17 6,000 140K 1M
bee @apiculaee 1d ... good taste can only be developed as a result of early access to the internet and childhood neglect 50 6,176 33.8K 494K

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