35 of the Funniest Tweets from Friday, October 25, 2024

‘Yeah I want a chicken bacon and ranch pizza. Hold everything’
35 of the Funniest Tweets from Friday, October 25, 2024

Martin Lawrence is getting ready to go back on a blue streak. After having a box-office hit with the fourth installment of the Bad Boys franchise, Sony Pictures and Lawrence are in the early stages of bringing back another of his ‘90s comedies. According to Deadline, a sequel to Lawrence’s 1999 buddy comedy Blue Streak is in active development. While the original co-starred Luke Wilson opposite Lawrence, there’s no other talent attached to the project just yet. 

In the meantime, Sacha Baron Cohen brought back some familiar faces last night during an appearance on The Tonight Show. Jimmy Fallon asked the comedian how his most famous characters would moderate a presidential debate, and Cohen’s answer was demonstrative. Cohen slapped on Borat’s cartoonish mustache and Ali G’s signature skull cap and sunglasses to throw barbs at the presidential nominees while remaining in his respective characters. Borat’s revival came as a shock after Cohen went on the record back in 2021 to claim that doing that particular impersonation “got too dangerous.”

Over on the timeline, the comedy is flowing steady with no signs of stopping. Today’s funniest tweets include those about time-machine priorities, a Google feature we actually need and the dangers of making purchases on your phone.

Freja @poopycumfart-22h ... hormones? uh yeah i sure hope she does 8 801 8,210 del 113K
like @lukeoneil47.19h You're getting in the time machine to kill Hitler right? Me: What? hunnymuffin @hunnymuffin.bsky.... 21h Sculpture of a female figure, probably a yakshi (nature spirit). Mathura, India, around 200 AD 11 101 3,073 124K
@islamocommunism.14 14h ... ?? Hi Professor, I dropped your class. Now can I ask you out on a date? This is my number : Have a lovely evening, 27 237 11.6K 194K
jynx @jynxbby 1d ibe in my room like an inmate 94 13.3K 46.3K del 1M
@sonoreid . 1d using dark mode so much that i i became physically repulsed when i see a white screen 290 26.7K 152K 2.7M
Lily Von Boobenhausen @Con... 19h ... Not my sister's dog looking like a 13yo girl who just got grounded for texting during class 29 332 6,570 95.1K
Haus of Decline @hausofdecline-3 3h ... Millennial boyfriend freaking out, so I calm him by stroking his hair and recounting his favourite Simpsons bits in a matronly tone of voice 72 312 4,837 78.1K
Brooklyn @bklynb4by· 3h he's playing in gracie's closet best of paul mescal @paul... 4h Paul Mescal on The Graham Norton Show for 'GLADIATOR II' press. 4 79 3,120 97K
floor & * @Tomlinbucks 19h ... this is still one of the funniest things that came out of the one direction fandom #Imagine you come out of a teeth transplant.. harry i'm out alive!you scream.. who do you fink gave you the teef? he says, smiling ifunny.c 53 2,027 27.6K 646K
Accidental Bronson @Accide... 13h ... 44 1,050 15.4K 512K
yam @pierogiface 19h ... just caught myself watching a pot, hands on my hips, waiting for it to boil. had to shake my head and chuckle. what a classic blunder 3 349 6,008 81.8K
the pizza time dog @GaoRush 21h ... I'm not even joking for clout or anything here I swear to fucking christ above that my manager is being replaced by a guy named Stu Little and when breaking the news to us the old manager said, and I quote, you're dealing with the mouse now 17 655 5,827 56.6K
Gavin Mode @ILuvJohnStanton. 17h ... One time I got so high I couldn't figure out the pizza ordering app so I ordered a chicken bacon ranch pizza with no chicken no bacon no ranch add tomato sauce add pepperoni add sausage and it was so bad the manager of the place called my personal number 381 5,175 140K 2.4M
liv @downBaddie• 19h ... me when i break gender norms by being a woman with avoidant attachment style 12.9K 71.6K del 1.2M
W.E.B. DaBoi @Tyre_94.1d Cocaine is a better networking tool than Linkedln could ever dream of being 111 3,383 28K 1.2M
Martin 'HotPaper' Rosner @Ho... 1d ... If I was a boss I would treat my goons right. They would know love. You got it, boss will be met with Stay safe out there, boys. You're my pride and joy 47 2,376 15.9K del 345K
Heather Hogan @theheatherh... 1 17h ... Today I said I'm gonna take an Uber to the vet and my cat DARTED out of the room. I was like How does she even know the word 'vet' and my wife turned her whole body to glare at me and said Because she understands English???? 23 212 6,807 62.7K
Midwest Modern @JoshLipnik.2h ... crazy to get one of these made of a specific person and even crazier when you live in a small town with 1,000 people (Lake Linden, MI) Judy 24 32 503 19.9K
effie.. @effiesfacade. 14h this is the most beautiful thing i've ever seen :( 29 962 12.4K 195K
wyatt pumpkin @WyattDuncan 44h ... democrat onions The Associated Press @AP.13h AP McDonald's says onions from California-based produce company linked to deadly Е. coli outbreak McD - McDonald's says onions from California-based produce... From apnews.com 61 257 396 da 219K Philip J. Welbourn Follow @PhilipWelbourn Democrat onions 20 222 4,409 le 77.8K
bai @sirmichaeI 18h a @aallleeexxxxxx1-1d my gay son and thot daughter have refused to take care of me in my old age 9 2,648 38.5K 897K
Ashley Davies @MsAshleyDavi... 7h ... I've texted someone to ring me on the train purely so I can answer and say: I can't talk - I'm on the quiet coach. All this to send a passive-aggressive message to the talkers around me. Tragic. British. Petty. 196 407 8,618 311K
swahili dan @powcampsurvivor • 1 19h ... girls act like getting their period is such a big deal as if us guys don't bleed every time we pee or brush our teeth 20 446 8,983 del 158K
my life is a living hell. every m... 18h ... Crazy how it's literally impossible to not smoke weed 7 days a week, and that this is something everybody does and not just me, and that there's absolutely nothing wrong with the fact that I do this 48 633 10K 317K
mau @rllydu • 17h you should be able to google what that noise was 53 2,586 30.4K 464K
eli @MonicaJewinsky- 11h ... may december esque movie where a gay guy stan pretends to be straight and marries his favorite flop pop star in order to save her career Pop Base @PopBase.1 13h Lady Gaga's fiancé Michael Polansky co-wrote her new single 'Disease.' 756 51 16K 540K
mars @tetcholuvbot.1d you let your cat sleep with you i'd let that mf represent me in court 311 36.3K 222K 3.3M
hydra @blephin_ 21h Just a homeless nigga twe... 2m ... Getting pussy tomorrow I'm so excited 1 2 1 @FedeSZN_ Replying to @hewhodrinkstea get in some strokes for me 3:22 AM 7/19/21 Twitter for iPhone 26 1,132 23.3K 451K
ellory smith @ellorysmith - 1d ... Accidentally spent $300 trying to get 4 comedy tickets on my phone to a cheap show at Fringe. They would not refund me. Also the comedian came out expecting a full crowd and there were like 49 empty seats, because I had accidentally bought all the tickets. @koi_takleefff.3d My most millennial trait is big purchases must happen in big laptop screen x.com/Khadijakashif6... 124 3,196 94.7K 3.1M
@tatbaee 19h tatyana thinking he liked me bc he said he did 58 5,761 56.8K 1.1M
@VdotNasty 1d ... When the inmates hijack this and turn it into a air fryer I hope yall feel stupid r @GA... . 1d Everything Georgia Cobb County jail will now use sentry robots to enhance jail security. COM 8 65 9 150 8,185 110K 1.8M
scream inside your heart @jar... 21h ... At the art museum whispering gorgina in front of all the art 20 2,537 22.6K 448K
Dee @figgled 13h ... Shoutout to coughing on the bus. Haven't tried it myself but seems really popular 6 949 18.5K 329K
ROB APOLLO &$!#% @robxapollo.2 23h ... im in the LAX all gender bathroom going pronoun for pronoun with a pansexual seattle transplant 18 464 8,101 153K
Chelly @chellgod . 1d Me and my 8 year old cousin getting ready to play Black Ops 6 tn i - LEST as 4:00 MARIA - THINK MARIAH CAREY NOV.6 NOV. 6 2c PO Specificm 28 LAKERS 23 JAMES JR. 9 IC pold ENA From Overtime 136 3,244 52.8K 3M

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