37 of the Funniest Tweets from Monday, October 7, 2024

‘You wake up in the dark and hear the screaming of the lambs’
37 of the Funniest Tweets from Monday, October 7, 2024

From Cypress Hill performing at the London Symphony Orchestra to an international curling match, The Simpsons has a funny history of being able to predict the future. Showrunner Matt Selman recently spoke to PEOPLE about this phenomenon and shared the secret to guessing the future: history and math. While Selman admitted that the method behind the madness was a “sourpuss answer,” he noted that “if you say enough things, some of them are going to overlap with reality, and then that’s the math element. And then, the history element is if you make a show that is based on studying the past foolishness of humanity, you are surely going to anticipate the future foolishness of humanity as it sinks further into foolishness fair.”

Meanwhile, almost a year after Nate Bargatze’s hosting debut, SNL was quick to serve up seconds as the stand-up served as host for Saturday’s episode. But his return to Studio 8H was overshadowed by a surprise visit from The Lonely IslandAndy Samberg and groupmate Akiva Schaffer produced the first SNL Digital Short since 2018 by slinging sashimi with their new song “Sushi Glory Hole,” which is about exactly what it sounds like it’s about. While Jorma Taccone didn’t appear in the short, he was credited with co-writing the “good idea” that’s “not weird.” 

Over on the timeline, the week is getting started with a bang. Today’s funniest tweets include those about a toilet for drummers, a double diagnosis and very apologetic teeth.

wolfkiller lelio @lestat_thi... 22h ... is rocky horror problematic what if a meteor crashed to earth and killed us all 66 4,584 35.7K 663K
katie DE @kat1enotfound.1 1d this is how it feels to tie ur shoe in public 120 26.4K 271K del 3.4M
eleanor @dimestorepaglia• 1d r/Letterboxd Join u/thatOnebruv 13h what movie should my wife and i watch on our wedding night Letterboxd getting married next week! we're still trying to decide what would be a good movie to watch together newly wed 6 72 546 2,925 56.8K 2.7M
Wii Goth @thrulls.- 1d The ed edd & eddy creator posting some heavy shit on ig danny.antonucci ... MUSIC 40 1,713 27.7K 437K
lala @ecto_fun 1d insane 30 paragraph dm request but this part made me laugh so hard Risen also squeezing your breast. When you're moans are loud enough, I pull the dress down a bit so that your beautiful bare breasts are exposed. I take a sip of the Ginger Ale soda I came in with. 626 7,322 166K 4.1M
gandalf the gay @beccaaabigail• 1d ... well, Clarice...have the lambs stopped screaming? NOOPY TOWN 52 5,351 51.1K 1.3M
@GoodReddit 1d good reddit r/mensa 7 hr. ago T Join ... Adorable_Form9751 Do ultra high iq people like big booty latinas 5 47 + Add a comment Sort by: Best V Mountsorrel MOD 7h ago Stickied comment Mensan This is arguably more relevant to the sub than most posts recently, I'll allow it Vote Reply ... + 5 more replies 155 3,956 117K 2.4M
Mr. Emotion @mr_e_motion 1d Sent this to a friend who just had her wisdom teeth out mother we are sorry mother we didn't mean to be bad it's so cold where we are 173 4,548 100K 2M
Pop Crave @PopCrave 23h ... POP CRAVE Sarah Michelle Gellar says she won't return to the 'I Know What You Did Last Summer' sequel film: I am dead. 615 4,803 93.8K 4M
miki minach @p0shsplice 1d The most beautiful women you know eat like raccoons Pop Base @PopBase.2d Dua Lipa shares new drink recipe combining Diet Coke, pickle juice and jalapeño sauce. CC ke Dirt RUS 1:11 525 17.5K 262K 10.8M
meeka @MeekyBlinders.1 1d a piece of my roomba broke off and it vacuumed it up. self sucking little freak 93 5,756 147K 2.2M
John spuuky Choi @spuuky 1d ... YOU ARE TOO INVESTED IN how u are perceived that u cannot fully enjoy living ! kay @agitslop_ 2d if you are over the age of like 20 and you're going to see a movie called the wild robot in a theater by yourself you should probably re-eva... 214 39.8K 367K 10.2M
Ela Bambust, professional au... 21h ... Imagine buying a website so people will think you're cool and two years later people photoshop you jumping out of a window on 9/11 Clarke @pleasuresystems-1d is this anything x.com/dougmillsnyt/ S... SWER MARS 1,035 23.7K 362K 9.1M
carter hambley @carterhambley 1d ... sucks that madison square garden only does concerts. some night they should just throw on a couple episodes of Monk 56 1,644 24.9K del 684K
Gaga Crave @AMENART....1 1d ... + Search: joaquin phoenix lady gaga stefani 449 comments X Door Dashius III DOORDASH Lady Gaga looks like a real life Lois Griffin 2d Reply 267 View 2 replies 102 3,310 80.5K 1.9M
Drac Bloodryk @BudrykZack-19h ... When you realize you're on the spectrum during your kid's diagnostic process that's nepautism 37 2,746 45.3K del 1M
sam henri gold @samhenrigold•2 20h ... google ai LOVES to step in when it sees vs and will try its hardest to compare whatever you throw at it Search Labs I AI Overview в ... The Breville Smart Oven Air Fryer is a countertop oven that can air fry, toast, bake, and more, while the Ottoman Empire was a vast territory that controlled Constantinople and was a center of culture, art, and science: Breville Smart Ottoman Empire Oven Air Fryer Features 11 functions, Controlled a vast including air fry, expanse of toast, bake, territory, broil, roast, conquered warm, pizza, Constantinople,
S. Bidler @_sterlingbi.... 1d ... They said I would never get field recordings at Taco Bell EMPICANT ZOOM - - are IR 12 618 16 383 4,893 83.8K
BIG мо... @JaYunnaMonae 14h ... LAV My face when I wake up from a nap and Apple done got me for 2.99 5.99 10.99 15.99 324 13.7K 63K 1.6M
sillygirl2001 @shibawri 1d ... watching two mutuals break up and slowly solving the mystery behind the events that caused it by reading their private accounts and putting the pieces together like an ARG to determine which oomf you want to keep 77 6,802 47.1K 800K
dew @99percent_off_.21h ... If I had a BF I'd take him to the office with me and let him do a coloring book while I work 177 5,596 69.6K del 1.6M
Physical Media @PhysicalM... 1d ... This is the last time I go to a coworkers BBQ MIDNIBU SEARING TORMENI LISTERINE ARS ULRICA 49 726 12.1K 440K
faith!? @soggystyrofoam 19h what do you mean confirms AV The A.V. Club @TheAV... . 19h Al Pacino confirms there's nothing there after we die- You're gone dlvr.it/TF3fDw SCARS 656 18K 373K 7.5M
evan loves worf @esjesjesj 1d ... Pornhub PH https://www.pornhub.com> view_... Dick Suckin Olympics Champ at Work Pico Paco @PicoPaco17 - 1d Replying to @DionysianAgent and @yifever What Elon has achieved is far beyond Buddha. He's a higher form of life. Had he been a wealthy prince with no responsibilities, I have no doubt he... 174 9,268 138K 4.2M
Accidental Bronson @Accide... 16h ... tippity @tippitytoptweet the chinese ketamine had me caramelizing some onions for 12 hours 13 481 8,420 del 195K
Drac Bloodryk @BudrykZack.1d ... Fourteen-year-old kid in a Stephen King book: You bet your bottom dollar, Hot Lips 45 1,014 14.9K 339K
microplastics impossible: gh... 23h ... You misunderstand the purpose of the long shower. I'm not doing anything in there. I am literally staring into nothingness and using the sensory input of falling water to temporarily wash away some of the horror of corporeal human life. @SH_RRK.1d people who shower for 30+ minutes, what do you even do in there?? what makes it take so long for you to shower, genuine question 573 40.4K 273K 7.1M
Paris @goodyhilton 1d ... See you don't need Ai to make terrible artwork Interesting As Fuck с 1d Surreal photography by Ben Zank CG 1,040 7,711 203K 5.6M
Images AI Could Never Rec... 12h ... crying JAKO i Comments literally_gwimbly 1w This how cartoon Sheriffs be sleeping with the jail keys dangling out of his pocket within arm's 2 997 reach. Reply 8 940 24.3K 226K
Lil habanero. @AyyAmbs 18h ... I'm about to have the best week I've ever had in my entire life. Or else. 56 15K 49K 1M
Evan @EvanPerc_ 15h ... I'm putting together a team wn W Country .East.Lak Tampa national x 41 rt (ТРА) LOOP 143 202 Tampa 618 Tempe 676 .Progr 41 Timpi TOMPO 232 7,719 149K 2.4M
morgan @Space_b0y_.1 17h ... older customer at work asked me if i think this generation will save the world and i was like idk. then he was like you need to watch the original 1968 planet of the apes movie and said start at the beginning. dont jump to the end. ok ill watch the movie normally then 12 118 5,182 del 107K
ant @pcstandfor.9h ... I use To be scared mewtwo was Gon kill me 14 239 1,525 39.7K
Janie Danger stream EAST А... 20h ... dishes trauma The nightmare your non- 73.7K binary roomate from ... Portland has every night 568 Comments 568 Likes 73.7K No this is so bad because I was this roommate because i DO have dishes trauma BUT i was getting over it but THEN MY ROOMMATE WAS ABUSIVE and i was so scared to do ANYTHING under her supervision 3d Reply 46 344 11.9K 245K
gianmarco @GianmarcoSoresi-18h ... IN I wish I could call my dad's therapist and be like hey what exactly are you working on over there??? 11 142 4,736 82.5K
hope!! @ghoul_collector - 1 15h ... WAIT... they don't love you like i love you 23 2,222 20.3K 314K
fran wenclair mode activat... 1d ... oh shes a forgot:/ Jenna Ortega @jennaortega Lesbian rights ;) 4:46 AM 21/07/2020 18 comments b 2mo в Oh she's a forgot Reply 3 reactions ... 239 14.9K 261K 3.8M

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