33 of the Funniest Tweets from Monday, September 30, 2024

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33 of the Funniest Tweets from Monday, September 30, 2024

Everyone’s favorite family from Springfield returned for their 36th season last night. Along the way, they paid homage to some big TV finales by parodying the infamous final episodes of The SopranosBreaking BadGames of Thrones and Succession. In fact, the episode doubled as a faux series finale of sorts for The Simpsons itself, exploring what the end of the show would look like with the help of generative artificial intelligence — with ChatGPT being called HackGPT in the episode. 

Another long-running, landmark series re-hit the airwaves this weekend, too: Saturday Night Live. As expected, Maya Rudolph reprised her role as Kamala Harris, and she was joined by fellow SNL alums Dana Carvey and Andy Samberg as Joe Biden and Doug Emhoff respectively, along with current cast member Bowen Yang doing his best J.D. Vance impression. As far as Rudolph’s comedy running mate? Jim Gaffigan earned that honor with a bang-on impression of Tim Walz. 

Meanwhile, the comedians on the timeline are getting the week started with a lot of laughs. Today’s funniest tweets included those about the worst time for your paycheck to hit, a Marxist toddler and a simple trick to stop global warming.

doctor emmy rãkete @cann... 1d ... My toddler had a screaming crying snotty breakdown at the flea market this morning when she realises that spending money means you don't have it any more. Which chapter of Capital can I read to her to help her use this experience to deepen her commitment to Marxism 67 3,613 60.8K del 842K
C. E. Aubin @ceaubin 18h We've gotta bring back this kind of propaganda if we're ever gonna stop climate change When you ride ALONE you ride with Hitler! Join a Car-Sharing Club INSIMER TODAY! 259 5,414 71.9K 932K
sehaj @sehahaj 10h my bf doesn't let me what the heck? my gf doesn't let me good & u probably shouldn't be allowed to talk about it either 55 6,771 62.4K 813K
Colleh @22_collie 1d ... The urge to go to a furry con dressed like this... 481 7,121 130K 2M
clamperl necklace @dr3wtwo.2 23h ... Spit-roasting? You mean a Brotisserie? 9 522 4,295 del 163K
ali golub @alibrooke4ever • 23h ... Morning People are an Oppressive Class Pallars Gonalan brosaleigh @brosaleigh.1 1d Alright hear me out: gigs in the morning. 8am doors, 9am showtime. Coffee at the bar. Church shouldn't get to corner the market on mornin... 35 2,743 39.4K . 1.1M
Kevin Daly @kevinddaly 1d ... How your email found me. CHAMPION ЕЦОЙ 14 3,496 38.3K 990K
yusuke @juanvenchy 22h ... i cant help it thats why i lie my body count is forever 6 and i tell every guy they lucky #7 they eat it up НА НА THAT WOULD WORK ON ME NOOOOO 25 1,167 45.8K 846K
dudermane @612jack·1 1d bartender: what are you having mate guy who speaks in amazon product titles: yea can i get 2 Beer Beverage, Beer Cans, Portable Alcohol Beverage, Party Tailgate Birthday Event | Catering Drinking Supplies | Aluminium, Silver (2-count) 9 2,067 35.5K 667K
CENSORED ultramarathon running thanke... 1d ... I cannot begin to describe to you all how refreshing it is to me to finally see the real issues of our times being addressed It says: Hotties vs. Evangelicals: Who is better at Beyblade? JOÃO GOSTOSAS VS CRENTES: QUEM GANHA NO BEYBLADE? INACIO 52 2,564 29.1K 472K
thomas violence @thomas_vio... 16h ... guy talking about SNL in a documentary: it was fucking crazy. we were wild. we were pushing comedy into new territory and crashing it through boundaries and coming out the other side a burning smoking wreck clip from SNL: i'm baby shark 9 176 2,890 53.1K
Boluda @doubtpointv2- 1d ... I love watching my uber driver run a red light. Fuck it we're young 9 1,005 19.4K 328K
Wandilè @Vandal707.1 1d I also stopped visiting a friend of mine because he had a snake. The last time I visited him, I asked him where his snake was because it wasn't in its cage and he told me he didn't know but it's somewhere around the house. left immediately. quameh @kwameaddoobir__1d Not visiting someone because they own a cat is very valid 1,500 16K 142K 4.5M
Heather Hogan @theheatherh... 19h ... I love that Sue Bird and Megan Rapinoe always look like they' 're ready to drive off in a magic school bus ESPITO RASSVET #BARCLAYS 24 1NEW YORK 62 3RD 5:46 TIMEOUT ESPN BONUS SEMIS (BEST OF 5) GAME 1 MONDAY 7:15 PM . ALT MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL 24 Final TITANS 3 DOLPHINS ZEPTI Texans 20 aguars x > Lawrence: 18-33. 169 Yds. 2 TD 104 1,079 19.7K 450K
Eeveeseer @Eeveeseer 1d ... m im going to cry please i just wanted ice cream 1,935 21.1K 255K 4.3M
ap @aprilshanae. 1 1d rent high Tarsha @Truth... . 2d Number of Children Growing Up With Two Parents Has Increased To 70% For First Time in 30 Years 661 10.2K 119K 3.4M
President-Elect Toguro @P... 16h ... Call her chairman mao the way she bounced on zedong @megsxzum.2 2d megs II/ position of the day: chairman Position 333. Chairman Be careful Sele SexPositions.Club 282 11.4K 152K 5.7M
kat @albertcamslut. 8h The indomitable spirit of this one Yesterday Can we fuck 4:37 PM Today You accepted the request I don't have sexual organs. I'm completely smooth and sexless. I have no genitalia. It's impossible for me to fuck. 2:24 AM -Sent 1 new message Hot 2:25AM 17 196 7,007 184K
Jared Gilman @realJaredGilman 14h ... YOU WOULON'T MEG A LOPOLIS 56 1,913 33.8K 799K
squish @kyonigotchi -2 20h ... why apartments like to show u 15 pics of the leasing office like bitch lemme see dat bathroom 274 8,022 115K 1.7M
Brooks Otterlake @i_zzzzzz 14h The ice in iced chai should be cubes of frozen chai. But we no longer dare to imagine better worlds 14 450 6,337 102K
Jack Corbett @jackcorrbit· 13h i found the scariest storefront SUBWAY Entrance 21 140 3,659 132K
me again @quinncoherent. 1d chat should i buy a house or 1 sabrina carpenter ticket? 211 210 212 213 209 SS18 206 214 5517 413 215 : F $516 CMO - CARD M 3 3 F R 414 : I R R 5815 - - 207 215P 8514 107 108 106 109 105 206 216 110 104 415 5513 0512 111 103 1 5511 416 / 217 SS10 112 102 MIX 218 SSI ISOE 204LWC 417 STAGE PIT SSB 101 113 557 304 203 410 219 114 120 500 202 115 I 119 116 555 118 117 220 201 SS4 410
sweetesttaboo @SarahJay... 17h ... You're not going to believe this... sweetesttaboo 9/15/24 It's always fucking Monday yoh 147 6,498 28K 819K
Matt @scriptumsent . 15h florence PD ? @morallawwithin 15m ... Watching Saw. Stay ITT if you're concerned with a moral philosopher's take 2 2 8 349 Show more replies florence Pr @morallawwithin 4m ... Jigsaw's actions so far are highly immoral 2 7 99 23 1,551 15.3K 340K
Penicio Del Toro @RancorEnabl... 1d ... Ay yo do you mind if my boy HOUND MASTER pulls up? Perfume Genius @perfume... 1d This changes Connor for me Connor is an Irish male given name, anglicised from the compound Irish word Conchobhar, meaning Lover of wolves or master of hounds and 8 160 2,599 del 81.6K
sophist @no_sophist.1 1d (Tracy Chapman at a budget wedding) you got a cash bar 27 1,408 23.4K del 651K
ass bandicoot @2StarYelp - 1d ... *gets stabbed at one of my fishing spots* 911 operator: i need your exact location Me: nevermind 97 8,373 154K 3.2M
stella @yoonogy 1d paycheck hit...but rent is soon. many things in life are fleeting. I am trying not to let this vicious cycle affect me. CHECK 58 17.1K 142K 2.5M
ape attack survivor @pissvortex. 1d ... Lana Del Rey treats the rural south the way white guys treat the Philippines 125 5,675 75K del 1.7M
Slwth (Positivity 23/6)....- 1d ... Instead of matching their freak try this math of the week! Solve for X: 2x = 9- 6,257 15.7K 183K 8M
..- @evadentz.20h how generous.... Minion chichón GRATIS Publicado hace un día en Morelia, MICH 46 1,446 16.8K 528K
dudermane @612jack·1 1d bartender: what are you having mate guy who speaks in amazon product titles: yea can i get 2 Beer Beverage, Beer Cans, Portable Alcohol Beverage, Party Tailgate Birthday Event | Catering Drinking Supplies | Aluminium, Silver (2-count) 9 2,067 35.5K 667K

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