32 of the Funniest Burns from the Week of September 23, 2024

Well, the position is likely about to open…
32 of the Funniest Burns from the Week of September 23, 2024

With the Emmys now over, it’s time for awards season to shift its focus to the movies. Studios are lining up their late fall releases to keep their talent top of mind for the Academy, designers are preparing For Your Consideration ads for billboards throughout New York and L.A. and final decisions are being made about which categories performers will compete in. 

On that last count, Marvel is throwing its vulgar hat in the ring with Deadpool & Wolverine. The studio recently announced that it will be campaigning for besties Ryan Reynolds and Hugh Jackman on this year’s awards circuit, obviously hoping to replicate its success in securing Angela Bassett an Oscar nomination for 2022’s Black Panther: Wakanda Forever. That said, a Twitter user did point out that submitting Reynolds and Jackman to the Academy is the equivalent of applying to Harvard with a 1.5 GPA. 

Marvel’s audacious awards move wasn’t the only thing getting burned this week, though. Other digital burn victims included a boneheaded tattoo, your job’s highest paid engineer and the singer with a mustache so offensive that even the French are appalled.

Taylor Salami (Reborn) @SalamiTaylor. 2 2d The 24 in A24 stands for how many theaters they'll play a movie in. FILM UPDATES Film Updates @FilmUpdates 3d Luca Guadagnino's 'QUEER' will be released in limited theaters on November 27. Starring Daniel Craig & Drew Starkey. CALLE J A NUESTROS AMORES SEMILLAS FRUTAS Y MUERTE 39 1.4K 38K 910K
Cullen Crawford @HelloCullen 2d ... ai wont replace you but a person using ai will. that person is CEO's stupidest nephew. his name is Chart and he got kicked out of his frat for killing a dog 66 5.6K 67K del 1M
kate bush's husband @airbagged . . 2d ... coworker ass tour Nik Nocturnal @NikNocturnal 2d LINKIN PARK X SLEEP TOKEN X BAD OMENS is insane lol 42 634 7.6K 320K
KACHI @Kachidey4you.2d Proof that women don't listen Nnayi @steezy10_.2d Told her my charger was having issues and she got me a new phone 12 iPhone 0:05 1K 28K 257K 13M
ACHTM @StepbackAch1.2d Bro said keep the money Comments randalltwins 4w WHICH WOULD YOU RATHER HAVE!? more GET HANDED $750k BEAT ANY NBA PLAYER IN AN MMA FIGHT FOR $50M 10.4K responses ebarrra 4w Gimme Paul George. Keep the money. This is personal 299 Reply View 8 more replies 351 6.9K 169K 4.2M
LIVING WELL 15 THE moderate rock @lookoutitsbbear 22h . BEST REVENGE he looks like if there was a thanos who was only a threat to three neighborhoods in cleveland Žarówka @BivouacChillin 1d It's so weird to see this guy on Fox News. Не looks like how gay furries draw Bowser LIVE MERICA a NEWSROOM MERICA'S NEWSROOM MURAMMA TYRUS FOX NATION HOST FOX NEWS ND SCHOOL BOARD VOTES TO STOP PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE channel 16 272K 1K 11K
@EasilyThrownImp 1d ... a tarot card deck, but every card is called The Oaf, each one looking exactly like you and depicting a major event of your life 6 469 4.6K 121K
Varun Khurana @varunkhurana99 . 1d Your company's highest paid engineer showing up to meetings il 5 mall 1 I nishy LA 13 our 922 14K 238K 7.8M
abby monteil @abbyemonteil 1d applying to harvard with a 1.5 gpa FILM UPDATES Film Updates @FilmUpdates 1d Marvel will be campaigning 'DEADPOOL & WOLVERINE' for awards consideration, including acting categories: Ryan Reynolds for Lead Actor Hugh Jackman for Supporting Actor (Source: variety.com/2024/film/awar...) 98 2.4K 73K 2.2M
Jacob Scherer @jacobtheloofah . 1d ... weh It's insane that Eric Adams is the first sitting NYC Mayor to be indicted on criminal charges, that's like being the first sitting mayor of Mouse City to eat cheese 37 1.9K 30K 827K
estel imane @REGINAVGEORGE 1d REDUCTRESS MAY 24, 2021 'I Love Reading!' Says Woman Who Loves Owning Books By Estella Van Sant @REGINAVGEORGE PIZZA ICTION Kate Bush Book Apr ART How - O To Be Invisible shogagseeg BeastieBoys - Book BeasticBoys 120 Book INTERIOR DESIG hou Sta MICHAEL INNERS Serving - Les THE LEWIS AKE ALL SUBTLE - ART OF FREM and NO THE FIFTH RISK ++++++++++ Zucked ROGER McNAMEE L.L.L - it Lucky Willia AMERICAN MESSIAHS THE SOL BCT OF Hard to SELF REGARD Love Times - 1 - TONI Hopper ADAM MORNIS MORRISON - MIGHT EGRET How co Change THIS
rev @whyrev.23h Move over pete davidson there's a new sheriff in town ME 21 GALA @21metgala .23h Jeremy Allen White and Molly Gordon in Los Angeles. 162 4.5K 108K 3.7M
Jenni @hashjenni 23h You know what's crazy? There's an entire generation that wouldn't get this joke because they don't know how to read an analog clock. @itxLilyana.23h nobody: clocks at 6:50pm: 535 29K 283K del 6.1M
goofy goober @lovewrms. 1 19h For when paul mescal decides to run away from her eez jane is older and wiser @longsleevesrryy.21h what the FUCK is she training for. 61 1K 41K 1.3M
Vinny Thomas @vinn_ayy 1d One is a wild rat with knife skills and the other is a jobless lab mouse. Please be serious. 4F DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm 1d To celebrate our 8 year anniversary, we'll ask a classic DF question... Who's winning in a brutal street fight to the death, Remy or Stuart Little? 49 928 11K 394K
Jean Paul Cootier @foreverimbetter 2d One of them has on Bermuda jorts and y'all asking who is who Miss' @misskeilondon . 3d My two favorite people, my man & my dad ITG HATCHET IFC HATCHET axe throwing axe throwing ATLANTA, GEORGIA ATLANTA, GEORGIA 540 5.2K 66K 3.1M
GOOPert Gottfried @arielleaty.21h ... Mayor jovan @ehjovan 2d who is hiring in nyc? i i need 350k a year and i have no skills and im not likable most days 21 3,254 56.4K 1.4M
Brunch Davidians @the_halfdane 1d ... Trying to fill my partner in on the latest Magic bannings massive drama going on in Magic rn Omgggg did someone shower 96 9,386 147K 2.3M
Barto @bartonovopolis 4d I like how this is a terrible poster in a 2000s way rather than a 2020s one. Gladiator Movie @GladiatorMovie. 4d A new legacy of rebellion will begin. Paul Mescal, Pedro Pascal, Denzel Washington, Connie Nielsen, Joseph Quinn, and Fred Hechinger star in #Gladiatorll - Only in theatres November 22. PAUL PEDRO CONNIE DENZEL MESCAL PASCAL NIELSEN WASHINGTON A RIDLEY SCOTT FILM GLADIATOR BASED CREATED BY DAVID FRANZONI STORY BY PETER CRAIG AND DAVID SCARPA BY DAVID SCARPA = ONLY IN THEATRES NDobyCinema 4DX SCREENX and IMAX DIRECTED BY RIDLEY SCOTT NOVEMBER 22 158 3.8K 113K 2.4M
empty theater club @emptheaterclub . 3d so what we've learned is that emerald fennell has not read wuthering heights FILM UPDATES Film Updates @FilmUpdates 3d Jacob Elordi will play Heathcliff in Emerald Fennell's 'WUTHERING HEIGHTS' adaptation. BE WITH ME ALWAYS TAKE ANY FORM DRIVE ME MAD WUTHERING HEIGHTS A FILM BY EMERALD FENNELL 41 22K 1.3K 584K
X @yourewellcool. 3d PLS WEAR DEODORANT Charli @charli_xcx.3d see u soon :) bratgenerator.com SOLD OUT MSG 77 11K 160K 3.5M
honey.. @miadc10 3d give them keys back Baby you on the curb lay @layychipss_ 3d paid for my first car at 17, so proud of myself NISSAN 777 6.7K 168K 5.5M
coolgirlonline @coolgirlOnline.4d ... babies in strollers: THE 3.5K 10 112 104K
Milo @Milo_AFC.4d Chris Evans has been in nothing but fake movies since KNIVES OUT DF DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm.4d New trailer for 'RED ONE', starring The Rock, Chris Evans and J.K. Simmons. In theaters on November 15. AMAZON STUDIOS M RED ONE ONLY IN THEATERS NOVEMBER 15 ELA OFFICIAL TRAILER 2 4 1.6K 52K 1.6M
miller lite warlord @cowboyfgt.2 2d if we have plans and i send you this picture it means im not coming 78 3.8K 50K 1.1M
Wesley BOOtilier @WesleyBout. 3d Boundary pushing and it's something they do at Muppet*Vision 3D everyday Bbm7 @leche_ninho 3 3d the megalopolis audience interaction scene. love it or hate it this is boundary pushing as fuck. cc 1:03 818 441K 25 12K
Jae Mayne @EandnotY.2d Joker and Harley when they meet Batman DF DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm .2d Todd Phillips reveals how he thinks Joaquin Phoenix's Joker would react to Batman. I think Arthur would be in awe of th... 12 27K 582K 1.1K
i make beats t @DonDadaNYC.3d ... #rentdue 24 22 23 25 26 27 28 29 30 Oct 2 1 3 4 5 Yem @Big_Yem . 4d If you cannot afford to buy wigs or a girl's basic needs, I see no reason why you should be in a relationship tbh. 223 8K 74K du 2.7M
S7 @1SEVYN.2d i Just clutched my necklace, omg be a lady! HER @allonjayyy_ . 2d x.com/ It's so cute tho but the pain level 10000/100 allonjayyy_/st... 0:07 7.2K 5 79K 3.7M
Christin @hexprax. 4d ... I love when men go on diets they will be like let me go for the healthy option.. the buffalo chicken quesadilla 78 1.8K 63K 1.4M
Laure @LaureSings 3d Not to be a hater but that is the ugliest fucking mustache have ever seen, and i live in france State of the Scene @SOTSPodcast. 4d Brendon Urie (Panic! at the Disco) photographed with mustache. SHOW 69 1.1K 42K 1M
SLUG @generalslug 3d birthing a child and immediately putting on business casual attire The Fall Scorpio @girlbosskenroy.4d John Mulaney and Olivia Munn had a second child stay tuned I I - - ES I Energy 582 6.1K 255K 12M

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