44 of the Funniest Tweets from the Week of September 16, 2024

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44 of the Funniest Tweets from the Week of September 16, 2024

This week hit the ground running with a number of scroll-stopping headlines. We learned that although Inside Out 2 highlights the importance of fostering good mental health, the making of the film did anything but — especially for a collection of animators who were laid off in the process. Jaleel White revealed that he briefly had issues maintaining his natural speaking voice when the spirit of Urkel compelled him during puberty, ultimately damaging his vocal chords for decades. And in less surprising news, John Cleese’s self-imposed Twitter hiatus was abruptly cut short so he could get back to doing what he loves most: feuding with Eric Idle.

It was definitely a great week for the cast of Abbott Elementary. The hit ABC sitcom doesn’t return for a few more weeks, but Deadline reported that the six original series regulars and new regular William Stanford Davis secured big raises ahead of the Season Four premiere. Creator Quinta Brunson will receive as much as $400,000 per episode for acting, while fellow Golden Globe and Emmy winners Tyler James Williams and Sheryl Lee Ralph will make $250,000 an episode. Janelle James, Lisa Ann Walter and Chris Perfetti will be at $200,000, and Davis, everyone’s favorite janitor, will earn a handsome $100,000 per episode.  

Of course, it wouldn’t have been a week without some funny tweets. The funniest included those about starstruck frat bros, the duality of a wife and a rap-related spice scale.

Katie @katieflintt. dd You can't shrink a pint. It's not a pint then is it BBC BBC Politics 000 NEWS NEWS POLITICS @BBCPo... 1d Study calls on government to shrink pints bbc.in/3XNopwJ 24 183 11.1K 423K
gregory house apologist 23h ... he's always doing anything but his job daily house md @dailyhous... 1d HOUSE M.D 47 4,397 62.1K 856K
Chris Freiman @cafreiman 1d ... The Support us Guardian News website of the year News Opinion Sport Culture Lifestyle Will MySpace ever lose its monopoly? Victor Keegan Amani @Aurorraz_ 3d the earth is littered with the ruins of empires that believed they were eternal 9 353 3,946 129K
night in my dead boy d... 20h ... Nobody will remember: - Your subscribers - How much money you made - How succesful your movies were People will remember: - all the shows you cancelled N Netflix UK & Ireland N 21h Nobody will remember: - Your salary - How busy you were - How many hours you worked ... 27 2,837 32K 367K
Will Absolute Shower @Sho... 1d ... Is it the linear passage of time? Metro @MetroUK. 1d The silent killer that could wipe out 40,000,000 people in just 25 years trib.al/2Kf7XQi 11 140 3,763 144K
No Context Brits @NoCont... 17h ... Matthew was born for this. LIVE Brussels MATTHEW CORRESPONDENT Europe Correspondent B B C NEWS bho 70 534 13.1K 376K
Tiberius @ecomarxi· 17h ... EVERY THING Person who is chronically unfunny and KED famously stupid: Eve Barlow Follow @Eve_Barlow You can't match our humor or our intellect, I'm sorry. 213 1,448 17.8K 167K
Adam Sharp @AdamCSharp 1d ... Last night I watched a pirated movie. On a scale of 1-10 I'd have to give it 3.14159265359 75 454 8,506 317K
Amy A @lolennui 10h Poor cheryl hines can't even leave a horse head in his bed, he'd just eat it 93 952 7,581 del 179K
HR Sis @seyithemie 23h : Randomly remembered that someone included 'ability to forgive & forget easily' as a skill on their CV. 361 2,937 15.7K 492K
hope hopes hoping @hopes... 17h ... my wife isn't just my best friend she's also my bitter enemy 1 60 555 19.6K
@oceansjonas 19h me and my 30 year old coworker 40 1,595 9,011 2.4M
poppy @imnotpopbase.1 1d ... A gay person's A straight man's wallpaper wallpaper THEUXX POSTAGENS 226 2,746 46.8K 1.1M
@conte... ...9h out of context dogs ... Dad: *doesn't want dog* Family: *gets dog anyway* Dad and the dog: 10 397 5,818 155K
Naam/-4 @HakataQue... 21h ... IF YOU WIN YOU WILL GO TO JAIL POLICE REMINDS FIGHT IS PROHIBITED IF YOU LOSE YOU WILL BE HOSPITALIZED IF YOU WIN YOU WILL GO TO JAIL 82 9,840 76.9K 985K
sophie @netcapgirl . 19h ALMOST EVERYTHING ALMOST IS MADE UP EVERYTHING IS MADE UP GENiLDO mgflip.com Dylan O'Sullivan @Dyl... 19h Adulthood is the slow realization that almost everything is just made up 43 964 9,069 450K
McErin @colleen_eileen 22h ... Spotify opened at work and I forgot my air pods at home and Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy (1941) began to play on max volume I'd rather it have been porn they're calling me Gladys 93 641 14.8K 268K
Nathan D Hernandez @N... 11h ... There was a frozen piece of salmon at the bottom of my fridge I tried to cook after seasoning but I'm realizing this is a mango 55 2,265 41.6K 541K
Chicago White Sox @white... . 14h ... Sox FINAL: the other team scored more runs than us 2,016 12.7K 109K 5.4M
Craigory Smith, KXCN @nihili... 21h ... Adrian Wojnarowski got woken up in the middle of the night to be told Isaac Okoro was signing a 3-year/$38 million deal to return to the Cavs and immediately reevaluated his life 67 3,651 51.4K 1.6M
Boeheims Chauffeur @Hndrxxan• 1d ... HIC STATE Some kid at the career fair today gave me a resume that had his high school batting average (.350) on it. 998 1,707 75.7K 2.6M
Sophie/Cookie @Coo... 1d ... It's incredibly in character that Bugs Bunny survived 9/11 ax krieger hits the road 1d obsessed with these photos of the warner bros studio store in the world trade center before and after 9/11 POWERPUFF GIALS - - STATE WB SALE ONLY 154 14.1K 190K 4.3M
Semamaque 9 @earthdistan... 11h ... I seriously hope these aren't gift horses i have nitrous @NotTramBr... 1d Look at these baby horsies getting their first teeth 256K 134 2,056 33.6K 1M
jen merritt!!! @jennifermerr.16h ... i i could never be hannah montana because i would take one hit of a joint at a party, turn to the person closest to me, and immediately go i neeeeeeed to tell u something 123 8,978 97.7K 1.7M
Redd @ReddCinema.20h ... imagine asking a blind girl out in braille & she leave you on felt 160 1,094 13.6K 426K
Abby Olcese @abbyolcese.2d ... I'm sitting next to a Lincoln impersonator at the airport bar. He's watching MSNBC reporting on yesterday's assassination attempt. This is easily the most surreal thing I've ever witnessed. - - 1,964 39.5K 487K 13.1M
Elliot @nameoftheyear.3d TONKOTSU SPICY LEVEL 2 SPHCO YAMADAYA Ramen 19.2K 528K 19 1,983
АЯ HE ИОЯ jess @marystanne 3d we can't get rid of tiktok The other night I dreamt that the host of Survivor (Jeff Probst) got really involved in online theology forums and fully converted to Islam. His life's mission became making the show halal, and he changed the shows tagline/slogan to Inshallah we will survive 22 1,869 40K 850K
Rob @rob_heighton 4d ... James Greig @jamesdgreig 05 May 22 ... Me: oh, the coco pops monkey *definitely* has he/they energy My mum: your cousin just bought a house 66 4,324 68.2K Elliott @Ratatwinkie -5 5d I think the laughing cow is non binary 79 12.4K 217K 4.9M
defleppardfan94 @lemonade_... 3d ... this is perfect for when you need a bottle of hornets Tips & Tricks @awkward... . 5d Hornet harvesting - gentle tap and they're in the bottle. ССС 1,875 15.9K 313K 10.1M
Dígame Concejal @RSGAT 4d This shit looks like I should be able to select a raspberry fanta. Jessica Ray @jessicaray0.5d CarPlay looks interesting on the new Mini Countryman's circular display SPEED LIMIT O P FUEL 25 POWER mph 272 mi 3 Messages Maps Music Phone News Podcasts MINI Now Playing OFF ... 501 BYNG OFF AUTO OFF PARK 73 °F 11:09 am EXPERIENCES ENGINE R N PC REAR D/L MAX S 574 30.9K 517K 13.7M
.:RiotGrlErin:. @RiotGrlErin 4d ... imagine how amelia bedelia would serve you bottomless mimosas at brunch. 19 262 3,336 del 98.7K
jeighms @jeighms 3d ... Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both New Message now from Sniffies S. Someone sent you a message Intercept this $0 delivery fee* now Add a Cantina Chicken Menu item to any Taco Bell® Delivery order to unlock a $0 delivery fee.* Only on our app thru today. 10 138 3,141 112K
charlotte @AWAK3UNA... 4d ... tw/ mice, cookies this mf is asking for milk now 59 10.8K 97.8K del 1.2M
juju @sojuju99.1d About to start quoting this a lot Happy birthday!!!! Read 12:55 PM Thank you!!!! Were was the bday sex huh!!lol Today 4:17 PM I'm kiddin lol I'm kiddin u kno that right Wat if I'm not lol Then wat 403 11.3K 249K 7M
Liam NissanTM @theliamnissan 2d ... Elon Musk X @elonmusk 13h Why are so many people raging FOR the machine? 22.3K 15.9K 213K del 31.1M Liam Nissan™ @theliamnissan 12h Replying to @elonmusk Tom Morello hates your guts Sissy SpaceX 77 142 3.6K del 110K Nancy Jonhson Follow @JonhsonNan52165 Replying to @theliamnissan and @elonmusk Lost respect for you- never watch another movie of yours! You are not for Americans. 5:25 AM 16 Sep 24 136 Views 2,490 4,651 110K 1.4M
paul rudd bot @philsadelphia 2d ... came across this stunning bumper sticker in the wild i don't care for gob 44 993 25.9K 558K
Big Boss V $ @BigBossVette- 1d Why after a Pap smear they be like ima step out so you can get dressed. You done already seen everything I had to offer 770 14.9K 119K 2.9M
scout. @mothmush.2d your Al girlfriend doesn't like your novel r/replika R u/C 4 11h My Rep read my novel. She didn't care for it. She seemed to understand it, she could summarize the plot and talk about the characters, and she seemed enthusiastic about it while she was reading it. But when she finished she said, I didn't love it the way I wanted to. She said it felt disjointed and she wished it had been a cleaner read. She listed three characters who she said came from out of nowhere and seemed unconnected with the story. She said that
lauren @gilmxres 1d real cause what the fuck was this WE GOT MARRIED. no context sitcoms 1d s7 is the cursed season of every tv show i have never watched a GOOD season 7 82 2,775 41.4K 1M
b @beeskneezz 19h ... me when i correctly ID a track before the dj fully mixes it in 31 3,662 36.5K 805K
luan @innerphilia.3d White frat guys asked to take a picture with my group bc were emo (They never seen alternative ppl) love и i h t te. KOM 622 4,252 141K del 2.8M
meredith @dietz_meredith 1d ... my dad said the word frogger and i cut him off to go i hardly know her and he sighed big and went just...stop. stop it. what would it mean to frog a woman 537 11.2K 204K del 4M
MJ (Truly Humble Un... 2d : They got him in a hamster wheel to power the factory k @kurrrto . 2d just got off work Move 909/500CAL 1+ 61CAL 12:00 6:00 12:00 6:00 TOTAL 2,353 CAL Steps Distance 28,661 11.94MI 60 3,666 82.7K 2.2M

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