39 of the Funniest Tweets from Tuesday, August 13, 2024

What did he learn at camp?
39 of the Funniest Tweets from Tuesday, August 13, 2024

Someone on set at SNL decided to be mean, and for once it’s not Chevy Chase. When Bowen Yang paid a visit to Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen this weekend, the comedian was asked to share the worst behavior he’s seen from a Saturday Night Live host. Yang quickly responded that a mystery host that best fit the bill “made multiple cast members cry” because they hated the ideas that were brought to the mid-week pitch meeting. The comedian, however, seemingly took Tina Fey’s advice about holding his cards close to his chest, and didn’t disclose any identifying details about the host.

Speaking of SNL, there was a Studio 8H reunion of sorts on Monday’s episode of The Tonight Show. During Jimmy Fallon’s opening monologue, the host referenced one of the most talked-about moments from this year’s Olympic games — Australia’s viral performance in the breakdancing competition. Rachel Dratch then crashed the show dressed as Raygun, and though the PhD-lecturer-turned-Olympic-dancer didn’t score a single point in competition, she at least received the honor of being parodied by an all-time great. 

Over on the timeline, the comedy is definitely breaking through the noise. Today’s funniest tweets include those about a confusing sticky note, the correct way to address idiocy and someone who’s always having a worse day than you. 

italian girl from new york @anewbrain 13h ... gleek В Follow @Breliloquy Love watching veep when I'm having a bad day cuz no matter what kind of day I'm having mike having a worse one. mclintock 4:28 PM . 24 Jul 24 2.1M Views 13.7K Reposts 1,008 Quotes 93.1K Likes 3 333 5.9K del 200K
Terry Fuck @terryfuck45·5 5h ... Probably 9/11 flightrador24 - Flightradar24 @flightradar24.5 5h What's the most unacceptable airplane faux pas? Show this poll 5 63 887 61K

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creedmakinnoise. @myculturenoisey 6h you look like Sexyy Redd if she went to college & majored in physical science. Tubi Stan Acct @_naturalista_ . 17h I didn't think I'd like this color this much but here we are 547 14K 176K 4.3M
Niccoya is having a sale! @niccoyat.1 1d My friend asked me if we won basketball in the Olympics, and my response was when have we ever lost? I then turned into an eagle and flew away. 4 746 9.2K 137K

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tukwila girl @sdrx902. 1d my grandmas house just has a sticky note that says LBGTQ LBGTQ TC Loon Home Info 94 2.2K 94K 1M
lea chin-sang @bigfatmoosepssy 16h what do you think they would talk about Liz Lemon's Apartment Robert Oppenheimer's Home W 8 34 735 20K 520K
Doll Face @smoke_nd_pearlz-13h Wasting my damn tax dollars. Historic Vids @historyinmemes.2 22h The tomb of the unknown soldier has been guarded every minute since midnight July 2, 1937. 170 3K 36K del 1.2M
whappie (shenelle fan account) @rikkochettt. 1d in front of their family is crazy Lisa Watson @_lisajuanita.1 1d Beauty 44 5.3K 113K 2.8M
ALEX PTAK'S TEST KITCHEN 1d ... Always funny they gotta card you when you're like 35 in the off chance you're an incredibly busted teen 53 974 30.5K 540K
zoë rose bryant @zoerosebry.... 1d ... insane day to move to Pop Base @PopBase. 1d The VMAs have moved up a day to September 11th to avoid clashing with the Presidential debate. M A VIDEO MUSIC AWARDS 46 2,573 58.3K 1.7M
mr. bounce @jersey_bounce 1d California boyfriend just said why do people on TV always have basements and I had to gently explain that most people outside of California just... have basements 458 971 30.1K 2.7M
maya @mayaisfiya 1d ... you're all gonna think i'm the stupidest person alive but for a long time i thought the pill was asking if you're on birth control Vante @railedbyvante.4d so some people just.....exist??? No No No No 50 491 36.3K 960K
Princess I Mindfulness I C... 1d ... Mommy you need on your cute shirt. That shirt is not cute - a 3 yo with her sandals on the wrong feet 107 2,269 41.7K 801K
vers la Lune @vers_laLune 1d ... I need more information. how the fuck you steal 2-3million wings? no school has that many wings. she on some oceans eleven type shit. the heist of the century Pubity @pubity.1 1d An Illinois school worker has received 9 years for stealing over $1.5 million in chicken wings 152 4,801 86.3K 2.2M
@RICKYRAGE. 1d ... verNOn @V_nASSty Omg | just joined my nephew's IG live and he goes thats my gay uncle everyone 21 871 15.9K 334K

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Matt Popovich @mpopv 23h ... my therapist: matthew, i need you to understand that kamala harris is not texting you. my texts: Edit Messages +1 (202) 987-9841 1:11PM > Matthew, it is Kamala Harris. 41 2,275 84.1K 1.3M
SentientBunnySuit @Suit... 22h ... Calling somebody an idiot isn't helpful. Instead, address their situation by asking something objective like, Is it because you're an idiot? 15 966 8,996 237K
Andrew Strauss @straussanator 6h ... Me waiting for the first НаНа in the group chat 39 2,628 62.9K 2.4M
2 Francy TM @DanceyFrancy  7h ... Yer dad's gone out to bat for Andrew Tate's willy on Facebook accept that many of the pictures of Top G haven't actually been altered, but let me explain to you why that doesn't mean he is small... When a man, particularly a muscly man, sits down in small shorts like these, it often creates a tension - where it's pulled taut. And that often creates an illusion where places that appear flat from certain angles (particularly head on) can actually be bulging out still. So essentially, it's just the angle of these photographs that makes
Nik @gemzcore 19h ... absolutely. i'm ugly not stupid. Stella @skyrocketstella 21h if someone gave you $1,000 because you're ugly would you take the money? 51 6,411 54.1K del 1.1M
da chilest guy @coolnormalgiy.23h ... $502 - da pregnant murderer @barrbiewrld.3d i got $350, how about you? got pregnant - $500 had sex - $300 gave head - $200 got head - $100 kissed the same sex - $50 smoked weed - $30 killed somebody - $2 smoked crack - $25 done drugs - $20 got drunk - $15 7 281 5,501 200K
claire de lune @ClaireMPLS 15h ... wow maybe me and simone biles have more in common than i thought simonebiles 3 h + I'm never drinking again 13.6K 641 341 simonebiles 3 d + I know tequila hate to see me coming 42.4K 817 4.1K 30 3,648 78.2K 1.9M
HOURLY L shitpost @h....- 15h ... quieres CG Cool Grandpa > Am I still in your phone as Cool Grandpa? Of course you are!! Why? Just checking. Those little yellow guys are me. Giwholesumboomers 87 3,783 118K 1.8M

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rachie @RachiesArt. 1d My clients cat's name is Whiskers, she's an old lady and she had a lot to say!!! 38 1,116 30.6K 302K
Moon @jrmymoon.5h The Jeneva Convention SPICE Bennifer Updates @Benni... 21h Jennifer Lopez leaving Jennifer Garner's house in Brentwood (August 11, 2024) E - MILLA 17 1,172 13.9K 663K
antipodean scourge @guywho... 11h ... It seems these days everyone wants the cheap dopamine fix of having children or achieving their goals instead of more genuine forms of happiness such as a lifetime cigarette addiction 9 905 8,385 200K
:) @zpyce 4h kill him right now @Jo....22h Champagne Joshi The first person ever diagnosed with COVID-Monkey-AIDS-Pox. This is getting serious guys. CC abc 0:45 #abc7eyewitness 229 10.9K 146K 3.9M
braylonnn @braylon125. 4h ... Don't nobody be on Twitter more than a employed person on the clock 687 13.6K 73.4K 2.3M
Anne Thériault @anne_theriault-17h ... 13yo asked for a bulletin board and I assumed it was for, like, school things, so I got him one while he was at camp. Не came back, saw it, and said oh great, I can use that to keep track of my conspiracy theories. I'm going to need some red string. 40 354 13.9K 192K
the gaming dreamer @saba... 1d ... Always with his little fuck ass hat on... Xiran Jay Zhao @XiranJ... 1d Sorry our sequels are so late, we're too busy partying ALT ALT 24 298 10.3K 244K
Nik @gemzcore.20h ... Fake laughing at work is mentally exhausting please leave me the fuck alone 136 9,386 47.2K 1.5M
Dividend Hero @HeroDivide... . 7h ... Starbucks orders after hiring Chipotle's CEO STARBUCKS 119 376 6,460 684K
Genius Of Lunch @ConorHaloR... . 1d ... when they hurt each other.... aster #POURITON @aster... 2d what are some common fighting game mechanics yall dont like 5 1,464 7,767 del 167K
Bidenomics enthusiast (N... 16h ... Не looks like an iPad kid at Olive Garden 32 569 17.3K 452K
spidey @imaliabilitty. 1d ... I love being a woman in male dominated fields (commitment issues) (avoidant) (frequent sayer of why do u turn everything into a big deal. relax) 28 5,036 26.4K 559K
Alexis @lexistwit 20h ... LEXP NT ALT 45 1,420 13.8K 846K
tractor @nudeobama 1d I'm trying to get as close to being a gay guy as a woman can get 22 568 3,172 136K
6h @Idgafwarvet. لا حول You dodged a bullet ok and maybe I wanted to get shot. Ever consider that 12 1,303 7,987 182K
ness @spiderburial.3h i love my fans You wanna date or possibly get married? 9:53PM Whatever 9:54 PM You can no longer send Direct Messages to this person. Learn more 9 45 838 14.4K

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