30 Funny Times People Thought They Were Being Philosophical

‘We can’t imagine new colors’
30 Funny Times People Thought They Were Being Philosophical

A great thing about getting older is looking back at how stupid you once were. This happens for your entire life until you die, and it never gets less cringey to look back on the times you believed you were coming to profound conclusions. One Redditor still winces when thinking about the time they convinced themselves that plants have the same rights as animals, and that therefore, mowing the lawn was unethical. While they probably forced that conclusion to get out of mowing the lawn, you can see why they maybe thought they had a solid argument as well. 

To that end, Reddit’s finest thinkers have recalled the times they considered themselves modern-day philosophers, and a whole lot of them were positive that they’d invented math.

Spondgegar 5y ago I remember looking out of the car window when I was like 13/14 and seeing some cows and being like cows don't call themselves cows only we call them cows and then looking at a tree and thinking the only difference between that tree and the ground is that we have decided to label one thing tree and another thing ground and releasing nothing is really separate we just separate stuff using labels and only humans probably do that. Felt like a fucking genius until I learnt nearly everyone has realised that. 3 ...
Nekroin 5y ago Late to the party but: when I was maybe 10 I sat with my brother and a friend at the kitchen table and told them that I was amazed by the thought that depending on how you answer questions or behave in situations your whole life will be different and go a certain way. So somehow I explained the multiverse theory. A bit. 3 ...
janeshelper 5y ago I realized that the sky is just a huge compass and map to seasons, time, and direction. I was around 10 and I was just looking at the sky all day. Just putting my arms out to figure out which direction my house was in compared to the sun. I felt like the smartest kid, until I learned about how people had been doing that for thousands of years. 3 ...
Esmyra 5y ago I wrote an essay about pencils and the thing that happens when you read a word too often happened. The word pencil lost its meaning and I couldn't tell if I was spelling it right because it just looked wrong. Language is just a bunch of made up noises. 4 ...
StudMuffinNick 5y ago When I was in elementary I was looking at the gas prices and asked my dad why a big chain like circle k doesnt make theirs way lower than everyone else. They would get more business amd therefore make more. Later found out that's how monopolies work. Who knew? 4 ...
 в 5y ago As men, we spend the first 9 months of our lives trying to get out of a vagina only the spend the rest of our lives trying to get back into one. 4 ...
Kangaroodle 5y ago When I found out that if you add up odd number in sequence, the sum equals the number of terms squared. So: 1+3+5+7 = 16 There are 4 terms, and 42 = 16 Thought I was a genius. 4 ...
big_moe5 . 5y ago Not me but my friend once asked me back in grade 9 if surfing is just riding on water, then is snowboarding just land surfing. I thought he was a fucking genius at the time Imao. 4 ...
daspacla9000 5y ago I used to have weird existential crises when I was around 12-14 and I thought all of my unique ideas about existentialism made me super smart... didnt realize untill I started to get more into philosophy that René Descartes had already very thoroughly explored my ideas about it :/ 4 ...
Zikrazokelli 5y ago I was certain I'd discovered the answer to our energy crisis. Light bulb powered by solar panel. Powering a light bulb... Powering a solar panel... You can see where this is going... 5 ...
Betsy-DevOps e 5y ago I convinced myself that plants have the same rights as animals, and therefore mowing the lawn was unethical. I'll never forget the atrocities my dad forced me to commit. 5 ...
jayrambling 5y ago That time travel could not have happened in the future yet because if it had, we would likely know about it already since it would have already happened in the past. 5 ...
Its_yo_boy e 5y ago With each passing minute, I'm moving closer and closer to being the oldest person alive. I remember thinking profoundly about this for days. While it's kind of cool to think about, I thought I was some sort of philosopher. 8 ...
SJJMJJ e 5y ago I once randomly thought of the fact we can't imagine new colors and I thought it was the showerthought of the year. 9 ...
SSLOdd1 5y ago If Adam and Eve were the first people, and cavemen were the first people, were Adam and Eve cavemen? Ofc, this is slightly flawed logic, but holy shit I felt smart. 14 ...
 5y ago Sending people on death row to Bermuda triangle with cameras and relieving them of all charges of they come out safe with proof of what actually happens 48 ...
DeltarUltima . 5y ago I thought I invented exponents in 4th grade. Skip to 6th grade and I learned the truth... 23 ...
Nevermind04 5y ago In a particularly unpleasant English class, the teacher would sometimes quiz us at the start of class then issue homework. She would grade the quizzes as we all worked on the homework, announcing grades as she went. When she got to me, she said , 96. Out of curiosity, I asked what I missed. She announced You used a made-up word. Being the snarky little shit I was, I announced right back All words are made up, ma'am. As was tradition in the early 2000s, several classmates heckled until she shushed all of us. I rode that
 5y ago Was 12 but I thought if you are a guy. lesbian porn is the least gay porn you could watch because is has no men in it. Therefore, if you watch normal porn, you are 50% gay. 53 ...
AudacityOfKappa 5y ago I thought all economic inequalities could be solved by going back to barter system, and that money was the root of all evil. A decade and a couple of books about economics later I cringe while thinking about it 90 ...
sectorfour 5y ago Guys.... What if..... Guys what if homosexuality is an evolutionary step to curb overpopulation because we have no natural predators. I got slapped in the head for that one by my über religious dad. 95 ...
PumpkinEater324 5y ago I used to think I was the only actual self conscious person in the universe. Like everyone except me was programmed and I was the only one who could think for myself. So no matter what I did, there was no point to anything. It also came to mind that I could never die. Ah year 14, I miss that one. 218 ...
 5y ago There are an infinite amount of numbers between 1 and 2, so it's impossible to actually count from 1 to 2 385 ...
 0 5y ago . Edited 5y ago Hot dogs are sold in packs of eight whereas hot dog buns are sold in packs of six so you'd always have to buy one or the other (lest you let food go to waste) until you hit 24 hot dogs and 24 buns. It was a C-O-N-spiracy that the Animaniacs helped me uncover.
Tarot13th 5y ago 8 years old me had an eureka moment. If you add two odd numbers together the result is always an even number. If you add two even numbers together the result is always an even number. If you add an even and an odd number together the result is an odd number. Present me: No shit Sherlock 2.1K ...
Lead5alad 5y ago When I was in second grade, I remember looking at a math test when we were doing addition, and I noticed that if I took the answer and subtracted either number in the problem from it, I got the other number. 7 year old me thought I made a new discovery in mathematics, so I was a little disappointed when I told my teacher and she only said back, yeah, you're right, good job! 9.7K ...
saugoof 5y ago That we might see colours differently. E.g. we have no way of knowing that the way I see green is the way another person sees green. We just know what to call the colour, but it may look totally different to different people. Each person's brain may interpret it differently. I assumed that this was the reason why people have different favourite colours. 5K ...
M_SunChilde 5y ago I was a bit younger, but was very excited to tell my mother I had refuted Descartes. It should be, I am, therefore I think. I'm a university graduate now and she still excitedly tells this story to people boastingly about her intelligent young son. I'm 30+. I try really hard to suppress my cringe every time. 3.5K ...
 в 5y ago They say the empty can rattles the most. (the Metallica lyric I quoted like an edgelord to talkative girls in middle school) 3.2K ...
gianny-cc . 5y ago I heard that you could only fold a piece of paper in half 7 times. My smartness did it 14 times and I told everybody, then I realized I didn't fold it in half, just folded it. 3 ...

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