49 of the Funniest Tweets from Monday, June 24, 2024

He’s on a deep discount right now
49 of the Funniest Tweets from Monday, June 24, 2024

Andy Cohen has made a name out of some real housewives, turned Hollywood bartenders into micro celebrities and once called Anderson Cooper a “pass around party bottom” live on CNN. And so, the prolific producer and TV personality could probably get into any club he wanted to on name recognition alone — except for one, apparently. 

Back in 2015, Vanity Fair corralled a group of 10 late-night TV hosts for a photo shoot, but despite hosting what Cohen describes as a “very modern late-night talk show,” he was nowhere to be found. The Watch What Happens Live host recently told Deadline that he was “very conscious” of the fact that he “wanted to be part of the late-night conversation.” While he felt “salty” about his Vanity Fair exclusion, Cohen is hoping that a potential Emmy nomination in the Outstanding Talk Series category will heal all wounds.

Speaking of Cohen’s talk show, it recently served as a stage for one celebrity to talk through some of her feelings. Sandra Bernhard made an appearance on Thursday’s Watch What Happens Live and revealed one of her “biggest regrets.” The King of Comedy actress told Cohen that she was a “little dismissive” of her Roseanne co-star Morgan Fairchild. Bernhard then broke the fourth wall and delivered a direct apology to Fairchild for her “snotty little attitude” and called the actress “incredible.” Fairchild has since taken to Twitter to comment on the very public apology, saying that she was “very touched by Sandra Bernhard’s words.” 

Meanwhile, per usual, those on the timeline are talking their heads off, and the results are some incredibly funny tweets to start off the week with. Today’s most hilarious include those about an uninspired coffee flavor, why a Cybertruck isn’t really a truck and an intro to gaslighting. 

old za @CourtneeHendrix. 7h ... I know during the Salem witch trials they was listening to stupid ppl and burning women up dam @damnostalgia. 2d How did she move where her hair was growing from? C V 110 8,575 99.4K 2.4M
AMERICANGOAT @GOATGUT... 19h ... this is what driving the speed limit on the highway feels like 952 22.1K 358K - 7.6M
Cody @AltHistCody 16h We should have mock naval battles like Rome Jay Cuda @JayCuda.1d here is target field w/ a lake instead of the baseball field x.com/ trevorplouffe/... Twins 201 3,359 69K 2M
ceul tewi @pradanitecrawlr. dd ... beautiful horse entering house awesome friend badass and cute sleepover horse reactions @horserea... 2d scary horse entering house ominous night visitor dark and creepy home intruder 45 8,598 72.7K 1.4M
A.D. @_ADWills. 1d i'm home- weird vibes my desire to be ADWIlls creative now that i have some time exhaustion from a small the day/week inconvenience hitting all at once ALT 128 25.5K 155K 5.1M
paul @paulswhtn.5 5h Bugs Bunny would've had this shit on Dame Jena Malone @fkap... 22h This Yoo-hoo boys! ass outfit 10 1,331 21.3K 570K
XEX Werewolf: Furry Megatron... 1d ... Al art sucks but this is, objectively speaking, REALLY fucking funny r/ChatGPT u/Specialist_Mix_61 - - 2d Image no working?? I need help!!! Gone Wild I JUST FARTED Johnson's BREWING CO. CO. 0 JUST FARTED e. Hello I am making my own logo with Al but it keeps adding I just farted into the image? Is this some kind of joke? | don't understand 234 8,761 112K 2M
Edgewater Expat @Eric_Erins. 1d ... Finally my prayers have been answered Dentologie Homew Tyve Ty Hot vek JomeWraphys vek the Moms e Homew Tyve Edgewater Expat 6/4/24 You know what this neighborhood is missing? A private equity backed dental office chain location 74 25 3,379 118K
pasiem kone na betóne @Sabri... 1d ... Michael didn't care about who Justin Timberlake is (*cheers from the crowd*) because Michael is a cop (*boos from the crowd*) who has been infuriating the rich for months (*conflicted noises from the crowd*). Daily Mail com Daily Mail US @DailyMail.2d Sag Harbor cop who didn't recognize Justin Timberlake during DWI arrest is unmasked as rookie Michael Arkinson... and he's been infuriating the Hamptons elite for months trib.al/phluBIC on III OP DEDICATE 128 11.6K 134K 3M
Oliver @Ollie_XVX. 1d ... Met this cat in Milwaukee last night. His name is Windows 95 191 8,410 123K 1.8M
bilatinman kio @kzzrttt.22h my niece and nephew got roblox accounts and all they've been doing is inviting me to weird ass fucking games while i'm at work Invite from 01:58 is inviting you to join Furry Infection game ! Invite from Yesterday, 20:29 is inviting you to join Climb Block Stairs(Obby)! Invite from Yesterday, 16:03 is inviting you to join Don't Make The Button Angry ! Invite from Yesterday, 14:55 is inviting you to join Pomni in Area 51 The Amazing Digital Circus! Invite from Yesterday, 14:38 is inviting you to join  Punching Madness Thu 21:57 Roblox Pooppybutty
gemini's groove @TheKruJ... 18h ... if i was a chicken, i'd be so mad that i was killed for this kind of meal MJ @Mj_21ii.2d life's good 109 5,566 76.9K 1.7M
kourtney @kourtneyinhell - 1d Is that your brother annika @femaleweez... 2d my brother is doing research in ecuador this summer and he just sent me this pic 98 9,987 161K 3.6M
GiveJoeaTinyDeskNow @Da_m... 6h ... July is next Monday. It's almost time to start Christmas shopping. 96 9,950 40.7K 868K
wild bumper stickers @wildbu... .1d ... THIS LITTLE LIGHT OF MINE I'M GONNA LET IT SHINE 27 1,389 27.9K 1.4M
Dr. fem boi magnet @La_calder... 1d ... My cat started gagging so I put down a paper towel for her to throw up on and look what she did 346 12.1K 228K 3.1M
a.k.a. lizzy grant 2 @lizzygran... 15h ... This shirt of random old woman that I found at the goodwill bins and now wear to bed Happy 81st Birthday ,Mom 60 240 6,947 160K
Terminally Online Leftist @... 1d ... having a bad morning? look at this burnt down crypto mining operation (: 852 9,403 110K del 2.1M
Rothmus @Rothmus 1d ... The HOA can suck my balls, this dude is going on my lawn. 1,068 10.7K 250K 8.5M
no context memes @weird... 18h ... Before trying this, suicide Please try this. costco hot dog 468 13.2K 189K 7.9M
Mark Jackson's Burner @cas... .1d ... Supreme @MolaLuther Devin Booker looks like a fancy lesbian #KIMMEL 37 1,670 38.1K 1.4M
find tyler huckabee on bluesky 1d ... when i was a kid our pastor took us downtown to show us how to reach to the lost and the first thing he did was walk up to a homeless guy on the street and say sir i'd like to tell you about jesus and the guy responded by reciting the entire first chapter of John from memory. 104 4,085 99.8K 1.9M
Patrick Vicious @alleywaykrew· .1d ... Lauren Follow @laurenkayes.bsky.social It's so cool that cities are like pweeease only turn your AC on if you're actively dying and don't go below 79 while the Al nobody asked for is slurping up the power grid to make 1 image of a girl with 5 tits Jun 22, 2024 at 5:58 PM 156 33.9K 216K 3.1M
MODEST MOUSE Axe @westernunion2k-1 19h Please Mommy& Daddy RIGHTS International Make up with Grandma and Grai so I can see them. I love then NET M always with the bullshit when im off the shroom cart Get that white baby off my damn phone screen 31 2,909 45.4K 908K
tyson brody @tysonbrody· 1d Whew ok community notes that's interesting context evan loves worf @esjesjesj Jun 21 Every single CEO of Disney has been a white male x.com/TheBabylonBee/... Notes suggesting context to be - shown with the post Needs more ratings 2h View details Not shown on X There have been non-White CEOs at disney Bob Iger, for example, is Jewish https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_lger Michael Eisner is also Jewish https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Eisner Is this note helpful? Yes Somewhat No 194 2,320 53.2K 1.5M
S @propaganda91.1d BLIZZY @blizzy_mcguire . Jan 16 u know when he ate speghetti as a kid it was lookin crazy popculture @notgwendalupe Jan 15 tom hardy, 2002 t7 5.1K 221 125K the 6.5M Millie @MillieMoxxie Jan 17 Can someone explain to me about this?? don't get it 5 t7 119 184K اراد I am a Genius @MrEpicBadass he just look like a messy spaghetti kid 46 3,497 105K 2.1M
greek samantha jones @cream... 1d ... kinda ate me up You have such a warm and genuine smile! Write a message 5 114 9,683 144K
EX Piece Of Shit @SkeletorVilla... 1d ... Didn't know this was the Soviet Union CAKE Don't play Creed PLEASE notify bartender BEFORE playing music from your mobile device in order for volume to be switched over to your jukebox selection. Don't Show OK, Cool MY RECENT PLAYS 30 467 9,777 448K
wild bumper stickers @wildbu... 1d ... St Patereborg ezil THERE'S NO REASON TO TAILGATE ME WHEN I'M DOING 50 IN A 35. AND THOSE FLASHING LIGHTS ON TOP OF YOUR CAR LOOK RIDICULOUS. NISSAN 15 2,684 78.9K 1.6M
bug spray cody @aevris_ 1d insane stock image 315 13.6K 183K 5.1M
Kane @kane 6h ... thinking about gay guys while proposing is top percentile gay Addison Smith @Addiso....1 1d Pride month is so defeated. I love you @charisedwardss 45 439 16.8K 1.4M
Saint Joseph @JuliusIrvington 1d ... was it the sweatpants exciting new high utility punchline i walked into a parisian bakery and said bonjour. deux croissants s'il vous plaît in absolutely, impeccably perfect french and the lady behind the counter still hit me with that okay and what else 1.1K 13K 332K 9.5M Khoi Dao @khoidaooo.23h sorry. i've been thinking about this for over a week. 5 108 36K 993K Khoi Dao @khoidaooo.23h my accent was perfect. there's no way she could've known. 93 182 40K 1M Khoi Dao Follow @khoidaooo was it the sweatpants 9:34 PM 6/21/24 From Earth 1.1M Views
RFH (Doct... 20h ... Why are you openly advertising the fact that your family hates you? H. Pearl Davis @pea... 23h My sister is fat so I text her motivation Am I.....mean? Eva> Today 12:30 pm JUSTDO IT. Where you should be Literally shoot yourself 192 4,359 126K 1.8M
Lesilo Rula @kay_mahapa.14h ... Not smiling till Friday morning.. no time for jokes this week just business. 47 8,815 49.2K 3.2M
Clare Blackwood @clareblackw... . 1d ... there's nothing that turns me into a boomer faster than when a company's customer service line doesn't give me an option to speak with a real human. no I will not go to your website. I just came from your website. i will kill you 207 6,900 73.9K del 1.2M
rhi @loonaeves 1d cuz when we jumping and farting we jarting + 00:14 please don't say things like this 00:15 Seen 73 4,703 34.3K 754K
jacky @JackWilliamRtF. dd ... it's actually called that bc you am on the trak alexandra @bigmoodenergy.2d just realized amtrak is an acronym A Merican Transit... 15 2,247 42K 1.4M
corie @corietjohnson-17h ... The only right answer tbh Just woke up from a dream where u were mad at me just woke up from a REAL LIFE where i LOVE YOU 43 5,426 101K 1.8M
lexaprofessional @queasy_f_bby 1d ... today i got an EKG done and she was like that doesn't seem right...it says you aren't alive and then she was like ohi put the stickers on wrong 12 72 2,944 52.2K
Tylerthecreation @tythecre... . 1d ... 6 You take so long to reply Are you married? Tylerthecreation @tyth... . 1d I responded late to this girls text and her response was funny asl 136 1,914 10.6K 795K
meg Yooper bitchell @Meg... 20h ... Tiramisu flavored latte THAT IS COFFEE FLAVORED COFFEE!!!!!!! 22 91 2,683 del 78K
will @twothickscoops• 1d ... having a male cat is so cool its like having a eunuch advisor who doesn't know anything about the world 135 8,305 85.5K 2.3M
Lizzie Logan @lizzzzzielogan 1d a cybertruck is not a truck because a 2 ABBA year old boy would never look at it and say truck! and that's the test 33 2,702 63.7K del 902K
tate @50FirstTates 1d my roommate is so unserious And you still went to see her? Read 12:48 PM i know my worth but sometimes i go on sale Subject + iMessage 506 32.8K 324K 7.2M
RunwayDan @RunwayDan 21h And then the little dog would say yo quiero Taco Bell and we would all laugh and laugh. It was a simpler time. 82 5,097 37.5K 1.2M
Helen @HRDutson· 1d ... Duolingo should have an I'm going on holiday to this place very soon setting so it teaches you can I have the bill and so on instead of the cow boils an egg 614 13.2K 262K 4.8M
girth brooks @HOWDYBLTCH- 1d ... If I send you a tweet that made me think of you that's me kissing you with tongue 27 2,472 22.3K 828K
5 @reptiliactgrrl . 1 1d schrodinger's flirting..... ..... im not flirting With u Until u feel like i am...but if ur not sure about it Then im simply joking. You will never understand what im doing 142 18.1K 108K 2.5M
sehaj @sehahaj 1d ... when i was 6yo my dad got 2 dolls (green and pink) for me and my lil sis. he said sis was younger so she got to choose first. i knew she'd copy whatever i wanted (pink) so i told her wow green one is so cute pls don't choose it so she obv did. that was my first time gaslighting 222 9,834 234K 3.2M


Scroll down for the next article
Forgot Password?