45 of the Funniest Tweets from Monday, June 3, 2024

Might be fun in there
45 of the Funniest Tweets from Monday, June 3, 2024

Despite his Emmy-nominated retelling of Pride & Prejudice and a stand-up career that paved the way to being cast on Loot alongside Maya RudolphJoel Kim Booster insists he isn’t a “trailblazer.” That title, he argues, belongs to Margaret Cho. The openly queer comedian told People that he didn’t go into comedy with the intent of being an advocate, and that his main priority is “to make people laugh.” He added that the title felt unearned because although starting in comedy wasn’t easy, he’s cognizant of the fact that he had it a lot easier than those who came even a decade before him. 

On the other hand, you can call Maya Hawke a “nepo baby,” and she’ll be totally okay with it. The Stranger Things star and daughter of Uma Thurman and Ethan Hawke told The Times of London that when first starting her career, she contemplated changing her name, getting a nose job and going to open castings, but she ultimately felt that not leveraging her famous parents for something she wanted to do “wouldn’t help anyone.” Hawke joked that she’s very “comfortable with not deserving it and doing it anyway.”

Speaking of titles, those on the timeline should definitely call themselves comedians. Today’s funniest tweets include those about a homestead to tip your hat to, a relatable piece of presidential medical history and Big Bird’s insides.

bfa agonistes @superloafcat-23h if i saw a portal i would enter no questions asked 34 1,790 12.4K 290K
PT: psycho tman @johnny_tmanV2.22h Everyone's gonna be talking over each other the whole time and it's gonna end with Riley getting shot in the head for being a gambler 4F DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm.22h 'UNCUT GEMS' was a deep influence on the visual language of 'INSIDE OUT 2' (Source: animationmagazine.net/2024/05/the-in...) YAY! 525 10 12K 406K
keira @kettlevinyl 1d ... people on twitter: dont bring your cishet boyfriend to pride people in real life: just got a really good deal on a new pan from walmart 1 205 2.8K 54K
nat @talidaze. 16h ... that best friend u had at thirteen that traumatized both you AND your mom 74 1.5K 8.4K 211K
Roy Drones Jr @chiweethedog2 23h Goatse toatse only $69 9312432006599 $69 L01.003.02 62546058 Breville 2sl Ss The Toast And Melt Sandwich Peace Ben220hss Breville® the Big One™ 2 slice that fits more in The toastie maker with bigger pockets to seal in more* fillings. That issues Tiger Webb @tfswebb. 1d surely not Breville the Original Transfer 4 . 11 86 723 48K
Guillaume Huin M @HuinGuillaume.2h ... God-tier social post. LEGO @LEGO_Group 6h ... LEGO V sdiu450- <3 642 8.3K 70K 1.7M LEGO @LEGO_Group . 6h ... LEGO 131 1.5K 43K 351K 203 4K 128K 15
buttball @imniceandsmart 2 22h My little brother keeps me updated with the important things happening back home Today 7:41 PM Hat 16 717 17K 273K
S @superskrong. dd don't care Dr. BOB Mr. Philadelphia @TOOTT... 3d Please don't invite me to no BBQ if your sodas cheap, I don't drink Dr. Thunder 2 235 2,867 161K
alex forrest @ALEXFORREST 20h ... the last time i was home i took a 50mg edible and took this picture of my parents dog bc i got so scared of how he looked 36 528 22.2K 378K
multitude container @bartleby_...1d unbelievably real for this eurydice @eurydicelives. 2d my friend made her hinge profile while tripping balls I recently discovered that I feel really dumb whenever I'm on this app. Just looking at pictures of men. What a strange activity. I want a man, not to look at pictures of men. I just saw a shooting star while writing this, I wish for love & children 2 166 6,962 239K
sophie @netcapgirl 23h ... when you're back at your desk monday morning, doing the most soulless work imaginable, and your boss comes by and says hope you got some rest this weekend, big week ahead! essentia Д 64 4,346 43K 3.1M
EsteStirredAviation @estebean... 1d ... I be at the function accidentally agreeing W shit bc I can't hear 53 10.2K 69K 1.9M
W.E.B. DaBoi @Tyre_94.1d ... Me when people see me drink my 8th beer in 2 hours  Hate me or love me, you watched. PETE WEBER on his fans and haters 58 4,254 58.1K 3.1M
No Context Brits @NoConte... ...1d ... Dad> Text Message Today 13:48 How do I set the washing machine? What are you washing? A t-shirt What does it say on the t-shirt? Pink Floyd 121 1,863 47.1K 2.7M
litquidity @litcapital. 5h Intern season off to a great start 8:52 AM: cant believe im asking this but how do i reply to that email back from ?? lol ive been messing W it for 5 min 54 AM: just to make sure I'm understanding correctly, are you asking me how to reply to an email? -8:54 AM: yes 53 233 10.3K 1M
S @propaganda91.22h Ok 11:37PM ??? 11:40PM Can I ask what these one word replies are about? 11:41PM Maybe I'm a whore not a writer 11:44PM 59 2,937 48K 1.4M
ellory smith @ellorysmith - 1d I know that kitchen staff wanted him dead SungWon Cho @ProZD.1d i tried all 41 items at olive garden 11 AVP NATIONAL 24 163 6,115 146K 3.8M
bri @bribrisimps 22h ... laura dern mannequin in uniqlo happy pride month MS FITTING ROC 8 661 16.5K 399K
internet hall of fame @Int... 1d ... Alex Behrends ... 1d Smoke detector broke so if i hear this bad boy popping in the middle of the night it's time to leave 1 THE Jim 2 3 ACT II Microwave Popcorn - ARE - This Side Dest 149 2,709 58.6K 5.2M
rah @pstrboyrah 1d ... you'll be fighting for your life financially & here come a mf inviting you to a birthday dinner 254 9,117 79.5K 2.4M
King Von Force Ghost @R... 20h ... Are the Amish allowed to level up the tech tree every couple hundred years or is it a permanently frozen kinda thing. Like in 100 years are they allowed to invent the radio 194 2,104 60K 1.8M
sho hoe @ogshoshi.23h mmm rantch C RANTCH ey rantch 118 4,933 98.6K 3.2M
AshPuppyEnby 1d ... Explaining homosexuality to Americans be like: okay so imagine two burgers OneTopic @OneTopicAtATi... - 2d happy pride month to all the tops and bottoms BURGER burgerkingaustria ... KING Time to be proud. PRIDE WHOPP R 6 12.3K 162K 2.7M
James Jones @jamesjonesesq. 1d ... This is how our checks looked in high school and we swore we were getting money A $300 check in the 11th grade? I would have walked into the cafeteria and bought a section. liko P @pradaliko.2d working 80 hours a week sucks but seeing this checks makes it worth it DAM FEATURES K 396 4101 AMOUNT **307.30 $ AUTHORIZED SIGNATURE 404 12.6K 91.7K 3.8M
PAULDOCK x @PaulDock93-21h Headshotting Big Bird & he just continues to lumber towards you X keith @KeetPotato.22h i don't know what i thought but it wasn't this String from pinky to BIG move eyes BIRD Script taped inside costume Video Wire from left monitor hand to right Legs worn as pants Lift shoes 43 1,763 32.3K 1.3M
The Only Living Dead Girl in... . 23h ... My husband was talking about how he makes other parents on the playground laugh and I was like oh I'm sorry people laugh at you and he said I only let one person laugh at me and my son, without looking up from his Zelda comic said who, the penis inspector? 8 84 2,054 53.9K
Gillian Branstetter @GBBrans... 22h ... I'll babysit the bi girl boyfriends if it stops the fighting tbh. III take it for the team. You all have fun at the parade and I'll just be here and listen to them tell me the new Planet of the Apes movies are pretty good actually 27 339 7,241 216K
Neil Renic @NC_Renic 1d ... The research The sentence boredpanda.com 57 8,206 68.6K 2.6M
Anouska Curzon @Noosh1977. 1d ... Daughter saved a bee and made it some motivational posters. ٢٥٧ can KEER Goido THES 60 889 14.7K 489K
Meg @megannn_lynne 1d oh, we're just gonna play it by ear?  we aren't making a reservation?  oh, we don't even have a restaurant picked out? or a general time? we're just gonna see what the vibe is day of?  no, im chill I:) 110 13.5K 95K del 2.9M
yume nikki minaj @jun3buggy 12h ... he can literally buy another bottle at any grocery store for like 4 dollars Right Wing Cope @Right... . 1d Alex Jones BREAKS INTO TEARS after being forced to sell his ranch to pay legal bills CC THE INFO x AL WARS JONES 74 4,479 95.1K del 2.6M
u can call me loors banquet 20h ... My grandpa will use any excuse to go to Texas Roadhouse НА НА ? Hello beautiful granddaughter. Can I treat you to Texas Roadhouse to celebrate your success? Love you, grandpa D Reply Add Sticker + Copy Translate A x More... 143 947 33.3K 1M
Tina Sieben @wnbawife. 3h ... Talking to someone who mentioned they have a printer You know I've always considered u a really good friend 7 110 2,275 45.6K
brooklyn babyy @thee_SACK.23h ... Got in a car accident today...... Shooters shoot I suppose hahaha JTT Controlles chaos Jake Guy Who Hit Me now This may be too forward given our JG current circumstances but you busy tonight? Lol let's hang out No Older Notifications 178 1,125 51.4K 1.9M
Sydney @sydneyelainexo . dd happy pride <3 187 4,443 52.4K 2.8M
Syd Divine Tarot Readings... 18h ... No, I will not be on time Yes, I will smell like weed a little bit 65 5,812 39.2K 1.5M
rachel calytrix @rccalytrix 21h ... i got white boy wasted last night and the bouncer wasn't letting me in the club soi recited 40 decimal places of pi to him. he then proceeded to change his mind and let me enter. the truth is i only remembered the first few digits, i made the rest of them up 58 3,448 116K 1.5M
Daniel Joseph @Pauldiedin1966 - 1 1d ... deadbishop I was reading about Thomas Jefferson's medical history and Violent headache for two days after behaving awkwardly in front of a girl he fancied (March 1764, age 20) 94 6,404 105K 2.8M
It's Keaton! @EvilKeaton 1d Eminem gotta go back to writing more songs about Venom. That's the last time his heart was in it. Не fucking loves Venom. 40 1,320 21.7K 763K
jimi @ShinMegamiJimi- 1d ... at minimum 15 9/11s every month if they existed stars @playful_cl0ud.2d Why the fuck do we not have flying cars yet 196 11.4K 186K 6.3M
emo normie @emonormie. 1d when the hangout has structure or is activity-based 156 28.7K 295K 7.4M
hailey @hahlys 1d babe what's wrong? you've barely touched your ceasefire now cocktail juture. CEASEFIRE NOW! 14 Tequila, Sweet Vermouth, Mole Bitters It's not complicated. OSCAR LOPEZ 14 Grapefruit Infused Rum, Maraschino liqueur, Grapefruit, Lime This drink is dedicated to our Boricua comrades. Pa' lante! BUSHWICK SOUR 14 Whiskey, Angostura, Amaretto, Lemon Our twist on the classic Trinidad Sour 1.6M 27.6K 869 91
K.P. @KarisX0.23h Got lost, asked for directions and burst into tears right after they said go west. Do I look like the kind of person who would know where west is? 89 2,177 13.5K 389K
Sarah @itssarahdutcher 23h ... my brain when i'm hormonal and overstimulated Cancel Create issue 8 1,093 11.1K 286K
Ghostface Kryllah @kryzazzy 8h ... Instead of Take Your Child To Work Day there should be a Take Your Therapist To Work Day so they can see exactly what you've been talking about 11 286 2,074 del 58.4K


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