41 of the Funniest Tweets from Friday, May 17, 2024

The cheapest therapy on Earth
41 of the Funniest Tweets from Friday, May 17, 2024

John Krasinski is finally coming clean. The IF director joined former co-stars Jenna Fischer and Angela Kinsey on their rewatch podcast Office Ladies and admitted to swiping one of the series’ most coveted props. After wrapping their final moments at Poor Richard’s dive bar and hearing Greg Daniels say, “That’s the end of The Office,” Krasinksi made the immediate decision to steal the Dunder Mifflin company sign. He admitted that he always lied to Daniels about it, but now his truth is out there for Daniels — and everyone else — to know.  

Over on the Happy, Sad, Confused podcast, Fall Guy co-stars Ryan Gosling and Emily Blunt discussed one of Gosling’s unrealized dreams. The Barbie star is very much interested in joining the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and has a specific desire to portray the hell-raising motorcyclist Ghost Rider. While Gosling recently received Marvel Studios President Kevin Feige’s seal of approval, he has yet to have been truly ghosted — in the good, MCU kind of way.

Meanwhile, the timeline is giving us the gift of more hilarious tweets. Today’s funniest include those about a soda company that can do simple math, a guy who’s good at emotional support and a woman who scammed a scammer.

ash X @ashl3af - 1 14h ...  please stop... for me...... 4 782 8,044 207K
Lukas Battle @lukasbattle 16h ??? 9:46 146 Mom Today 9:36 PM What is demisexual ? You need to feel an emotional attachment to be turned on Hahahhahahahahahaha 183 3,120 63.9K 2.2M
Josh Gondelman @joshgondel... . 4h ... The gate agent just offered $1,700 for anyone traveling to Indianapolis to take a later flight, and no one took it which means that manifest is full of wealthy people who need to get to Indiana NOW. 71 91 3,803 del 179K
jacky @jackywontsee 21h ... NEVER JUDGE SOMEONE WITHOUT KNOWING THE WHOLE STORY HE'S so HE'S so NEGATIVE WEIRD... High BRUSTELL Functioning Autism Fat Nuts This One is Just a Rock Faded off that Josh 15 2,603 27.5K 897K
y @ysmammri - 4h ... wth is going on just wanted to say I have a crush on you bad 22:28 been feeling this for months now and I think it's time I told you about my feelings fr 22:29 oh.. wait who's that other guy 22:30 Oh he's here for moral support -22:30 LMFA00000 be so fr rn 22:32 . Sent i'm here for you dovo thing 651 4,547 37.2K 1.9M
h @easterngoblin 18h I dont even care anymore 51 824 9,327 250K
Jaii @Jaispointofview. 17h ... Me: *graduated nursing school 2 weeks ago* My friend: Today 7:56 PM oh nurse jaiiiii Delivered let's say hypothetically, a blow torch miss fires, and it hits a hand but the hand looks fine but it's burning like hell and it hurts when water touches it. It hurts to move it but like there's no visible burn marks. also funny enough there's no hair on it anymore like small knuckle hairs. They're all gone. + iMessage 288 2,321 78K 1.9M
colin @folded_person - 16h i guarantee you no charcuterie mistake i could conceivably make would ever cost me $1500 a year K This simple Charcuterie mistake could be costing you $1,500 a year. 95 1,565 44.1K 1.1M
bfa agonistes @superloafcat-5 5h ... ladies, is it a turn-off when a guy has a little bit of pee on his underwear!? Not a lot, like a nickel-sized amount from when he peed sitting down in the bar bathroom and then when he stood up and pulled up his pants, a little more came out. There was truly nothing he could do!! it wasn't his fault. 38 1,156 15.8K 478K
music struggles & wins @m... 3h ... musicwins1 ... pov: youre 5ft 1 but you brought your periscope 44.3K ... 204 143 2,622 44.1K 1.2M
ettingermentum @et... 17h ... When you beat You're sitting the on the allegations remote 35 4,586 66.3K 1.7M
@cryst6l 14h might quit my job to focus on summer 161 17.3K 98K 2.8M
@doxie_gay 1d that's suspiciously exactly what Melissa would say POP CRAVE Pop Crave @PopCrave. 1d Avril Lavigne addresses conspiracy theory that she died and was replaced by a body-double named Melissa: It's just funny to me... Honestly, it's not that bad. It could be worse. Right? I feel like I got a good one! I don't think it's negative... Obviously I am me, it's so dumb. 49 5,861 69K 4.5M
A You @BravesGasm 1d Where do you keep them all Kevin Pillar @KPILLAR4. 1d Beyond grateful to have played this game long enough to steal 100 bases! 11 221 14.1K 634K
CassNevaLackin' AuntySlayer 1d ... Can't stop thinking and laughing abt this That time Paris Hilton came to the Rez and she kissed my cousin's stomach because she thought she was pregnant but, she was just fat! ade with mematic 34 657 10.2K 305K
@bsniyaah @bsniyaah 1d yes but please dont pass out in front of me FIANCEE X BIOR... 1d You CPR certified ? 164 15.8K 45.3K 3.1M
caulksleeve @caulksleeve. 1 1d ... smokers are healthier cause they get up and go outside every couple hours 53 3,455 39.2K 822K
Fredward the Bastard @Fredwa....1 1d ... doctor said that I'm one concussion away from greatness 3 254 1,625 63.5K
law dog, esq. @ggooooddddoogg 1d ... king last time olive garden did neverending pasta bowl i ate so much that their parent company had to mention me by name in their 10K 6 63 2,329 35.8K
SpacedMom @copymama 1d ... Hate when you send a work email and feel relived to put the ball in someone else's court but then they write back like 10 minutes later and you're like GODDAMMIT 46 3,435 37.7K 811K
Scrümbled Eggs @scrumble.... . 1d ... If you drink five of those 5 Hour Energy drinks in one day you unlock the secret 25th hour and you also die. 35 613 6,399 183K
Scrümbled Eggs @scrumble... 1d ... Arachnophobia is so stupid I mean why do you even care if these spiders get married 35 2,894 22.3K 547K
wyatt @babymakeitfart.1d ... How was work? How am I supposed to remember that. I already left 15 4,301 38.9K del 1.6M
faith @faithnation .1d ... sometimes when I don't want to pay the $100 therapy copay I go to my friend's house and talk extra loud until her husband who's working on his psych PhD goes do you mind if I say something 106 10.1K 202K 3.5M
wuf ةُسه @bong_rot . 17h ... How websites feel making you click No thanks, I don't like free stuff! on a pop- up GIF 7 626 16.6K del 202K
Lorna Rose Treen @lornlornlors.1 10 ... A girl behind me at passport control just said I hope they don't realise I'm using my sisters passport. Mine's out of date. Yes please this is the airport drama I live for 194 5,050 176K 6.8M
ru PERP WIR YOU rachelle toarmino @rchlltrmn 1d lorebombing is when you make a new friend in your thirties and you have to catch each other up 23 2,681 24.9K del 638K
Dipped Chip @plopadop 15h Stayed in a hotel recently where someone forgot to sign out of their youtube account on the TV. One of their recent searches was simply gadgets. 10 153 3,152 68.6K
Oliver Jones @oliverjones 1d Tonight I discovered that my daughter, who is 17, has lived her whole life believing that the name of the singer of The Rolling Stones is McJagger. 982 2,384 32.1K del 1.3M
tumblr babe @trapezoidmo... 1d ... I love talking on the phone when people get off work, wtf did your manager do to annoy you today 66 4,328 26.3K del 1M
sympathetic opposition @sy... 1d ... my youngest sister has made a hundred dollars by letting text scammers get to the point of giving her their venmos to send them some money & then just requesting money instead of sending it 44 1,473 60.3K del 1.6M
Brian Bucklew < e e .... 1d ... e V I stayed at an airbnb last year that was a beautiful old barn, but I thought it was a huge fire hazard and showed my kids the escape routes and warned them all, and everyone rolled their eyes but it burnt down last week with people in it (everyone ok) lol and Imao 54 1,378 52.8K 1.8M
Virginia Slim @nixonienne 1d Incredible things are happening in Richmond, Virginia Fan Porch Sipper $10 The Fan favorite returns. Bird Dog Peach Bourbon,mixed with Unsweet Tea and Homemade Lemonade. Black Velvet $11 Tito's Vodka Housemade Blackber Pasit Simple, Fresh Lime. toppea with soda Roséderade $10 Just as it sounds, Rosé topped with Red Gatorade, served over ice with 3 Lime. Desert Sun TH 3,380 45.7K 2.6M 160
iced pee @stupidtrashboy.1 1d ... What the hell is gnorw yaw НТЯОИ 303 ГЕЕТ KNAJ YAW 17 187 3,801 del 61.1K
:Black Lil Debbie.: @blackli... ...1d ... Grailed 02:35 to me V GRAILED New message from ILIKETOLOWBALL (5) ok so u already know what's gon happen REPLY 26 1,560 22.8K 600K
SLUG @generalslug• 1d ... this has got to be the funniest thing i've gotten the twitter you just hate fun treatment for SLUG @generalslug 1d know there are better reasons to get rid of grass lawns but it would be so cool to not hear lawnmowers for hours every single weekend morning and every weekday evening 40 276 2.9K 64K chunk @billyBbear . 22h like the sound of them 1 2 17 Eddie Kinnaman Follow @ekinn3 Same. Some miserable-ass people on this tweet 42 354 5,945 118K
challengers brainrot 23h rae ... this promo im cryinggggg challengersmovie and atomtickets ... CHALLENGERS NOW PLAYING ONLY IN THEATERS R MAKE IT A THREESOME BUY 2 TICKETS, BRING A 3RD FREE 5/19 Limit 1 use per customer. 5/19 showtimes only. At select theaters only. Auto apply at checkout See terms: atm.tk/promos 48 2,461 40.8K 1M
Elisabeth @elisabethnicula• 1d You eat a worm one fuckin time .... WORM-EATING WARBLER 4 111 1,209 18K
Uncle Duke @UncleDuke1969-1d ... this checks out 15 Cans 3 MORE CANS THAN 12 PACK 184 1,551 43K 999K
Dr. Bucky Isotope, Astrologis... 20h ... Beef Wellington is just a fancy corn dog, don't argue with me 148 1,100 15.8K 739K
Liam Fennessy @LiamFennes... 23h ... BANNED : Need every Dunkin in the country to fly their flags at half-mast PHP Tungs Pop Tingz @ThePopTingz. 1d Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck are rumored to have broken up again. 104 7,033 105K 5.1M


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