34 Toys, Games and Activities That Wouldn’t Pass Muster Today

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34 Toys, Games and Activities That Wouldn’t Pass Muster Today

After whipping up this list, we poured one out for any kid who suffered at the hands of a would-be plaything. We’re not talking about those fictional younglings in Child’s Play or Small Soldiers, we’re talking about real kids with real bloodthirsty toys. Toys like…

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PINKY LEE MEDICINE CHEST BAND-AD - - IVORY. Pinky Lee TOY medicine CHORAGNED.COM THE GOOD HABIT TOY Learn Pinky Lee's secret shames, then refill all the good prescriptions.

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1. REMOVE THE PLUG FROM BATMAN'S BUTT. 2. FILL WITH WATER. 3. PUMP HIS TRIGGER. 4. SQUIRT YOUR FRIENDS! GRAGKED.COM http://herocomplex latimes com/uncafegonzed/ top-10-vintage-batman-toys-far-your-inner-boy-wonder/

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THIS CANDY TREAT LETS YOU FRENCH-KISS JAR JAR BINKS. doo I JANES Binks JUI ART adidas COMM I PISODE WARS STAR dom I ORIGINAL We're assuming it tastes like thinly-veiled racism. CRACKED.COM

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THE PUNISHER SHAPE- SHIFTER IS so GLAD TO SEE YOU. In the interest of full disclosure, we should note that he's pictured mid-transformation, at left. He's actually meant to shoot darts out of his ass. CRACKED.COM http://www.collector-actionfigures com/dash/universe/catalog_item/AF-382048/

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THIS IS THE HARRY POTTER NIMBUS 2000 VIBRATING BROOM. Sadly, they're no longer sold. It's a dick- shaped toy that vibrates when children stick it between their legs. (actual photo from Amazon) Actual Amazon review: When my 12 year old daughter asked for this for her birthday, I kind of wondered if she was too old for it, but she seems to LOVE it. Her friends love it too! They play for hours in her bedroom with this great toy. They really seem to like the special effects it offers (the sound effects and vibrating). My oldest daughter (17) really

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CRACKED.COM IT TOOK DEAD CHILDREN TO BAN LAWN DARTS. Contains 4 JAVELIN DARTS 2 TARGET CIRCLES HASBRO JAVELIN DARTS If you're going, What the hell were they thinking to sell huge flying metal spikes to play with, S you're not alone. The U.S. banned them for good in the late '80s-but only after they had caused thousands of injuries (and a few deaths) over three decades.

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CRACKED.COM APRIL O'NEIL WILL SHOW YOU A GOOD TIME. Hey, do you remember that episode of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles where April was a streetwalker? Neither do we, but that didn't stop Playmates Toys from releasing this Ravishing Reporter action figure, complete with detachable skirt.

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CRACKED COM SPIRIT WAS A JUMBLE OF STEREOTYPES IN THE SHAPE OF AN ACTION FIGURE. Everything about G.I. Joe figure Spirit was a Native American stereotype, starting with his name: Charlie Iron-Knife. His card file described him as a tracker, a shaman, and a mystic warrior. Не also had an American eagle, because we know every Native American is issued one of those.

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CRACKED.COM IT'S A STRIPPER POLE! FOR PRETEENS! peekabo Pole Date This toy stripper pole, complete with a garter and money to stuff into it, could be found in 2006 in the British grocery store chain Tesco. They denied the pole was marketed to children, despite the fact that it was exhibited in the - toy section and advertised boo I I as suitable for 11-year-olds.

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