32 Head-Scratching Moments for the Intelligence Agency Hall of Shame

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32 Head-Scratching Moments for the Intelligence Agency Hall of Shame

The big bad CIA is out here passive-aggressively editing Wikipedia and blasting the dang Barney song. 

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JULIA CHILD WAS A SPY BEFORE SHE WAS A WORLD FAMOUS COOK. In 1942, Child joined OSS, the precursor to the CIA. During her time there, she created a shark repellent recipe. She also worked in Ceylon and China, but her missions remain, unsurprisingly, classified. CRACKED.COM

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IN 1945, RUSSIAN SCHOOLCHILDREN GAVE THE U.S. AMBASSADOR A BUGGED PLAQUE. The plaque stayed on the ambassador's study wall for seven years until an American military radio picked up American voices. It took several sweeps until they discovered the bug in plain sight. CRACKED.COM

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STALIN USED A SECRET LAB TO ANALYZE MAO'S POOP. When Mao Zedong visited Moscow in 1949, they installed toilets connected to boxes. Specialists would analyze excrement to learn things about people's personality traits, such as if someone had low levels of potassium they had a nervous disposition. CRACKED.COM

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Baffling things done by the CIA Getting a letter wrong (and torturing the wrong guy) In 2003, officials captured German businessman Khalid El-Masri, mistaking him for Khalid Al- Masri. El-Masri was tortured for almost six months in Macedonia and Afghanistan, and finally dumped in the middle of nowhere in Albania. In total, it was almost six months of torture. After 10 years of legal battles, Macedonia had to pay El-Masri $80,000. CRACKED.COM

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Baffling things done by the CIA Framing their own guy. Edwin Wilson spent around 20 years in jail for selling American weapons to Libya, all the while insisting he was actually CIA. The CIA said he was no longer with them, but in 2003 it came out that yup, Wilson still worked for hem even after officially leaving the agency. The sentence was then overturned. CRACKED.COM

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Baffling things done by the CIA Having their own top-secret Starbucks Somewhere in Langley, the CIA's exclusive Starbucks is so secret its exact location is unknown. It's there instead of normal coffee machines because they wanted to humanize the CIA headquarters' work environment. You know, through a massive corporation. TM CRACKED.COM

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CRACKED.COM Baffling things done by the CIA Making Osama toys Beginning in 2005, the CIA created an Osama bin Laden action figure that would slowly wear off its face paint to show that of the devil. You know, to teach the kids whose houses America was bombing who the real villain was. The CIA denies having sent them to Pakistan, but that sounds just like what they would say.

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CRACKED.COM Baffling things done by the CIA Debunking Black Panther When Black Panther won three Oscars, he CIA's Twitter account just had to debunk it as complete fantasy - which yeah, CIA, we know. Gee, it's almost like they're trying to discredit the idea of an African nation thriving by hiding from meddling foreign governments.

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