John Early Is Figuring Out How to Be Sincere

As the star of the sharp new indie ‘Stress Positions,’ the irreverent comic works in a more serious vein. He tells Cracked why he’s getting comfortable with being earnest — even if he’s scared everyone will think he’s pretentious

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34 Dumb Things People Did Out of Sheer Curiosity

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34 Dumb Things People Did Out of Sheer Curiosity

Being dumb and curious basically necessitates a punch card for the emergency room. Just ask the guy who has drank bleach, antifreeze, acetone-based nail polish remover, diesel gas and eaten silica gel. In addition to being unkillable, he’s also rather considerate, providing mini-reviews of what each tasted like, rightly noting that he “wouldn’t really recommend” trying any of them. 

Other Redditors have admitted to the times they had to get the dumb curiosity out of their systems, and the person who flushed a pair of pants down the toilet was operating on another level — of stupidity.

Lunatyc84 . 6y When I was 5 my genius brain decided that if I just held the toilet paper in place while I peed then it would save time so I wouldn't have to wipe after. Soon as I felt it soak through I got freaked out and and flung my hand out and up, effectively splootching the wad on the ceiling, where it stuck. Grandma wasn't happy. ... 1.3k

Nickbou 6y One time I took one of those little paper cups (the kind you might have in a bathroom for taking a quick drink of water for swallowing a pill), filled it halfway with water, and then took it to my room and set it on my dresser. I then proceeded to light it on fire. My dad smelled the smoke and burst in wanting to know what the hell I was doing. I told him I wanted to see what would happen when the fire reached the water. Не was angry at me for playing with fire and

h9um8 6y Drank bleach. Drank antifreeze. Drank acetone-based nail-varnish remover. Drank Diesel. Ate silica gel. Just so you don't go out there and copy, I wouldn't really recommend any of the above. To save you the trouble, bleach surprisingly doesn't really taste of much, hurts the back of your throat a little, though. Antifreeze is vile, even though it seems fairly thin and fluid when you pour it, it feels thick and syrupy in your mouth. Nail varnish remover was the worst by far, I wasn't expecting anything much, but it caught me off guard - it burns but feels cold at

paleo2002 . 6y When I was little, I noticed some brown liquid leaking out of the battery compartment on one of my toys. For some reason I decided it might be BBQ sauce, so I tasted it. It was battery acid. Burnt the tip of my tongue, not pleasant. ... 1.2k

Willisshortforbill . 6y The eraser on the end of my pencil came off one day in grade school. Looked to be about the right size to fit in my ear. Turns out I was right. I spent 6 months with a pencil eraser in my ear. I was too embarrassed to have someone help me. ... 637

theforeshadowing . 6y I once poured water onto a light bulb (that had been shining for hours). I wasn't really thinking and kind of expected it to make this 'psshhhhh' sound. Well it exploded right in my face. Thankfully I didn't get hurt, but I could have been blind.. ... 1.5k

chasingbanana. 6 6y I flushed my pants down the toilet when I was 5 to see if it can flow away. My dad had to pour strong acid to melt it, almost burnt his hands. ... 246

Raullucio . 6y Once I tried to imagine what fire smelled like, so my brain thought it would be a great idea to take a lighter, light it on and try to smell the flame /٥/ ... 60

chuckqc . 6y lick a 9volt bare wire adaptator supply to see if it's the same feeling than a 9volt battery. learn difference between volt and amp. that day - 404

officerbill_ . 6y When I was around 10 I wanted to see what the inside of an electric cord looked like so I cut one in half with a pair of scissors. I didn't want to be electrocuted so I turned the lamp off first. ... 1.1k

Scrappy_Larue . 6y I squeezed a prickly pear cactus to see if it was soft or hard. What I learned is that between the big needles you see, there are a billion tiny needles between them that you cannot see. My fingertips were full of them. ... 555

 . . 6y I was driving with my brother going around 30-40 mph and decided to test out my cars e-brakes. They worked great, probably should have checked to see if my brother was wearing his seatbelt though. ... 724

cortechthrowaway 6y I ate a homemade dog biscuit last weekend. I am not a dog. Just a 34 year old man who wondered what all the fuss was about. ... 417

Ob3city 6y One time I found this pile of shit in the school yard. It looked like a totally legit fake pile of crap. I tried convincing my friends that it was fake poo. They said prove it. I poked it. And as I poked it I realized I made a grave mistake...it was in fact, a real pile of shit. My finger sunk right into it, everybody laughed. I ran to the bathroom to clean my shitty finger. Just assume all shit you see in the grass is real. ... 2.1k

monogrillaboy . 6y I was studying in my school library's study room when I was younger (it was a small library). Saw the emergency door with a sign saying DO NOT OPEN, ALARM WILL SOUND and I thought What will happen if I open it? Will the alarm really sound? Turns out the alarm is really loud. ... 2.6k

Thatguybemo . 6y When I was about 12 I wanted to know what would happen if I stuck a basketball pump opening to the opening of my penis and pump air into it. I legit thought it would make it bigger. I was sadly mistaken. Pissed air for a good hour and endured the worst pain in my life. ... 1.6k

Hawt4teach . 6y My sister and I found a duck egg and wanted to see if we could hatch it. We thought the microwave was a perfect way to speed up the incubation process. It sped up the explosion of an egg in our microwave. The smell lingered for weeks. ... 1.2k

emmyann3.6y when i was 16 i wanted to see if one had to be pressing the brake in order to go from drive to reverse. i decided i the best time to test this was driving on the highway. the answer? you do not have to be pressing the brake in order to go from drive to reverse, even going 70+ mph, at least not in a 1998 oldsmobile ... 330

Badtastic . 6y I had one of those dart guns with suction darts. I put four needles (like sewing needles) through the back of the darts so that the sharp points stuck out the front and added some weight. I wanted to know if it would hurt, so I pointed at my foot and pulled the trigger. It hurt. It was hard to pull out. ... 371

DrDudeManJones . 6y When I was fifteen years old, I kicked in my basement window so I could see how easy it was to break into my house. Turns out it is pretty fucking easy. ... 3.7k

 . 6y As a teenager in the mid 80s, there were two ways for me to find out why a golf ball is so bouncy: go to a library and look it up or cut it open with a pocketknife. It cost me six stitches to discover it was a tiny hard rubber core with a shitton of little rubberbands wrapped all around it. ... 2.1k

JPHamlett . 6y Licked the red part of the cigarette lighter in the car ... 1.4k

RememberDaTing • . 6y See how long I could go without sleeping. I ended up falling down the stairs around the third day. Too tired to get up I just slept where I landed. .. 1.8k

ell_yeah_. 6y I put icy hot under my eyes once to see if it made me cry. Sure did. Edited: Did not do this as an adult. ... 1.7k

Maddiefan . 6y I licked a Himalayan salt lamp. Tasted like....salt. ... 1.3k

Dorda . 6y Wanted to see if golf balls were bouncy. Yes they are very bouncy. Went straight through neighbors windscreen. Parents had £1500 bill to pay. ... 100

thelaughingpear. 6y Poured rubbing alcohol on my leg and set it on fire to see if I could burn off my leg hair instead of shaving. ... 844

friggin_pippin . 6y Not me but my sister once decided to test whether stepping on a rake would make it spring up and hit her in the face like in cartoons. Spoiler alert: it did. ... 1.6k

 - . 6y Poked an electric fence. Would not recommend. ... 493

tnydancer44 . 6y A friend of mine wanted to know what was in a battery so he tried to cut it open. Naturally, acid shot into his eye. The nurse at the ER told him he was the stupidest person she'd ever met. ... 2.9k

Dandelioon . 6y When I was I kid I wanted to see what would happen if I touched a bee. I got stung. ... 680

 . 6y Tried to shove a pencil up my nipple. ... 524

LouisianasBeard . 6y My father and I swung aluminum baseball bats simultaneously at eachtoher to hear that loud clank noise they'd make at impact. When we connected I didn't hear that clank.. more of a loud thud. I missed his bat and hit his hand. Broke a few knuckles and had to explain to mom why I hit dad with a baseball bat. ... 3.7k

000-000-000yea . 6y I took one of those cans of compressed air and directed it into my cup of coffee. To no ones surprise coffee went flying everywhere, and I still wasn't woken up. ... 815

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