30 of the Funniest Conversations Overheard on a Plane

‘Two old ladies spent the whole flight talking about how ugly my husband is’
30 of the Funniest Conversations Overheard on a Plane

Planes are one of the best places to eavesdrop. You’ll never be disappointed by listening in on a bickering couple or straining to hear what a kid is mumbling under his breath. Take, for example, the Redditor who overheard two fellow passengers arguing about the correct way to eat pizza with chopsticks. Depending on the length of your flight, that topic could keep your thoughts occupied until you land. 

To that end, Redditors have collectively chuckled about the funniest conversations they’ve overheard on a plane, and if you’re ever disappointed by the choice of in-flight entertainment, just take off your headphones and listen to the voices around you.

Abednegoisfloppy 238d I was on a commercial flight with Ted Danson 15+ years ago. My mother, seated in the row in front of me, kept singing the Cheers theme song under her breath. It was super embarrassing. She's a nutcase. ... 23
Fla5hPOint . 238d I was just on an international flight and the dude sitting behind me was talking to another woman. She asked him why he was in Europe and he said it was for a UN summit (or something). Then she asked him if there was any good news that came out of that, he just sighed and said No. ... 207
EngineeringVirgin - 239d I've told you many times Brenda, I am not shaving my balls! It's my balls and I'm a man! ... 9.1k
httcclark.2 238d On an Aegean Flight from Athens, and a baby/toddler kicked apparently was repeatedly kicking the guy's chair in front of him The guy got up and was angry, threatened to kill the baby. The other father yelled back threatened to press charges, and they were yelling and ready to fight. They had to be separated. The flight continued and by the end of the trip, they apologized and it was resolved. ... 1.2k
SinisterShadOw . 238d I was once next to this young kid, his dad, mom, and I think one other kid. I'm looking at the kid play on his iPad and playing this guitar game, when I hear the mom tell the dad, You cheated on me again!? She starts to hit him and he completely disregards it, and she says again, Why did you do it again? ... 643
Kahela e 238d I was in window seat, lady next to me daughter on isle side She kept saying see you can see the earth is really flat from up here. No curve at all etc It was like she wanted me to go oh WOW you're right Bitch if you think the earth is flat i don't think you understand gravity enough but some how trust a plane? ... 482
skunkmandrake . 238d Not necessarily crazy, but I had a connecting flight in Dallas and 2 big men who I assume were father and son sat in front of me with huge cowboy hats. The older man said something to the younger one like you know, sometimes I forget I own a ranch the size of this airport ... 20
PioneerDingus 239d Want me to kick his ass?! Said by the friend of a man who kept refusing to turn his phone off before takeoff. Pilot had to come back and warn him it was his last chance. The passenger next to him kept telling the FA he had his phone on still. Everything seemed settled and then randomly toward the end of the flight the two parties involved decided a fight was in order and a light brawl occurred somewhere near Las Vegas. Once we landed at LAX we went right to the gate and they were arrested and
cjthepossum 238d I sat in front of a kid (12-13) and his older sister, who I assume was his guardian. It was a cross-country flight, and the kid was casually talking about how he had never flown before and he is looking forward to it. Не seemed likely on the spectrum a bit. It is pretty wholesome so far. Then the plane starts to move and he instantly freaks all the way out, screaming, WE ARE ALL GOING TO FUCKING DIE!!! Let me off this plane, it's a fucking coffin, you're all going to die. It's going to be a
gallipot . 238d On a particularly bumpy flight from Amsterdam to London, the pilot had to abort the first landing attempt because of strong cross winds. The two English lads sitting next to me were convinced we were all going to die. The older Dutch gentleman behind me calls out to the stewardess, Is this the pilot's first time flying? ... 175
gonzagylot00 . . 238d An old couple, like in their 70s on their way to Florida getting into an argument, and the wife just started bawling out of nowhere. The husband didn't want to buy her a cocktail. She started talking about divorce after the vacation and he was just laughing. Не even said you do this every time we get on a plane. Не did eventually buy her the gin and tonic though. ... 327
Running_zombie_. 238d Nothing too crazy. A couple in their 50's who were all over each other (like tongues in ears, hands in pants etc). They were busy working out the logistics of their next getaway. They were both cheating on their partners and laughing at how gullible their SO's were believing another business trip would come up so soon. ... 3.5k
Twuntz 238d I was flying from ATL to MSP one time when I listened to someone nag their traveling partner to go up to first class and one-by-one ask all the rich people if they would switch with her, because her feet hurt (????!!!!). Не didn't even acknowledge her presence for the whole flight, and she just kept dropping hint after hint that he should be providing her a more comfortable flying pexperience. She even suggested that he could go make a new rich friend up in first class and then invite them back to Coach to continue to conversation,
Gold-Invite-3212 . 238d Flight into Salt Lake City. Heard the guy across the aisle from me thank someone for their service. Glance up, expecting to see a military uniform or veterans hat, something like that. Nope....Mormon missionary. Seems they take that stuff really serious. ... 33
Sky_Lukewalker5515 238d Definitely the girl who sat behind and described in vivid detail about the sex she had had that weekend. A 4some, a public blowjob, and a few others. My very conservative wife was even getting a little flustered by the story. ... 84
terradaktul . . 238d I'm really into this guy. He's hot, he plays the violin, and he's great in the bedroom. But he spits in my mouth. ... 19
zaramarley07 . 2 238d I overheard a passenger passionately arguing with their seatmate about the correct way to eat a slice of pizza with chopsticks. ... 7.8k
Traffodil 238d Pilot accidentally left the intercom switch on. The whole plane heard him say Ooo. That's weird. Nothing else. Plane took off amid varying levels of anxiety throughout the cabin. I'm here to tell the tale today, so thankfully it wasn't too weird! ... 2.4k
W_4ca . 238d I was on a flight and happen to glance over and see the phone of the guy sitting next to me. Не was scrolling tik tok and watched some clip of a girl dancing in revealing clothing. I'm not even convinced the girl in the video was of age, but anyways, this like 50 year old dude just comments Yummy! and then keeps scrolling. ... 1.1k
itsrae2you 238d I was sat next to a teenage boy and his dad. The kid was telling his dad how much he loved the song sexual healing by Marvin Gaye, when the kid was finally done talking the dad just looked at him and said you're a virgin ... 17.5k
RonnyLuvsU . 238d A 5 year old boy once said Dad, can you ask them to pull over so I can go to the toilet?. Haha ... 6k
Alternative-Yak-8657 .2 238d I was sitting next to a father with his small child. The child wouldn't stop hopping around, until the father said sit still and be a good boy or the plane will crash because of you and we will end up dying. Never seen a kid so quiet before. ... 3.4k
monkeysolo69420. 238d There was this kid was behind me that kept telling her dad she lost her tooth and the dad was disgruntledly trying to find it, and some guy nearby said hey kid, I hear if you lose your tooth on a plane, the tooth fairy gives you 50 bucks to which the dad replied, hey look sweetie, the tooth fairy decided to sit next to us on the plane! ... 5k
ChangingMonkfish 238d Not that crazy as such but when literally about to touch down, a lady got up and started walking urgently towards the bathroom. The cabin crew immediately started saying Madam! We're about to land! You have to sit down! The lady responded by screaming in a panic I'M GONNA SHIT ME-SELF!!! They allowed her to continue ... 10.4k
SlashingSimone . 238d Flying domestic US. Two oldish ladies spent the whole flight talking about how ugly my husband is, in French. I guess they assumed no one could speak it. We can. ... 725
stabler-genius . 2 238d A sat next to an older gentleman on a flight (65+) spent a trip from Seattle to St Louis on backpages.com looking for an escort when we landed. At one point he poked me to ask my opinion. I declined. ... 57
moppdog . 238d 2 men talking about shooting the pilot while still at the gate, before taxi. Major alarms going off in my head until 12 seconds later when context made it entirely clear they were TV producers. ... 71
KittikatB . 2 239d Some guy told his partner that she didn't need more yarn and every woman in earshot promptly told him how wrong he was. ... 10.9k
BigMushroomCloud . 238d On a charter flight from Goa to the UK He's taking Ecstasy, and he has a knife in his bag, said an old couple to the stewardess, referring to me. I said, I don't have a knife, I'm taking vallium. I just want to go to sleep Stewardess believed me & moved the couple. ... 2.5k
mauore11 . 238d A guy coming home early to bust a cheating wife. Не was on the phone with a friend/family who told him the other guy was at his house abd they didn't expect him back until the next week. ... 4.5k


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