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28 Moments From History Your Sweaty-Pits Professor Totally Spaced On

Lies in facts’ clothing

28 Moments From History Your Sweaty-Pits Professor Totally Spaced On

January 07, 2024

Rounding up these falsehoods was equal parts satisfying and earth-shattering. It felt nice to finally get the truth, but there was an ickiness in knowing that we’ve been lied to all these years. Sorry to pass on that icky feeling today, but you really should see the rewrites in these history books.

28

MYTH Walt Disney drew Mickey Mouse. x FACT Disney came up with the concept for Mickey Mouse and voiced the character. But Disney's partner, Ub Iwerks, was the artist behind the Mouse, as well as his first animator. CRACKED — Source

27

MYTH x Henry Ford invented the car in 1908. FACT The first automated vehicle was invented in France by Nicolas Joseph Cugnot, all the way back in 1769. The first modern automobile was created in 1866 by Karl Benz, who would later go on to found Mercedes Benz. CRACKED — Source

26

CRACKED.COM MYTH: Bonnie and Clyde: The Legendary Bank Robbers. REALITY: They mostly robbed small grocery stores and gas stations. In the four years the Barrow gang targeted banks, they hit less than 15, didn't get away with much money, and a lot of times Bonnie stayed home and wasn't even involved. It was also easier to rob places with lower risk and quicker getaways. — Source

25

CRACKED.COM Romantic? Yes. But Casablanca is also a masterpiece of World War II propaganda. Warner Brothers produced the film following a pro-war rubric outlined by the U.S. Department of War. The Department was hoping to shift the American public's stance against intervention in the escalating conflict in Europe. When will you realize that in this world, today, isolationism is no longer a practical policy? -Signor Ferrari, to American Rick Blaine — Source

24

Abraham Lincoln was soft-spoken and dignified. And he was also a ridiculous badass. Lincoln was known to haul crates of stones weighing over 1,000 pounds around his hometown. As a militia captain he constantly engaged in impromptu wrestling matches with the other soldiers. His only defeat on record is to a guy who grabbed him by the crotch. There are also two recorded instances of Lincoln picking somebody up by the neck and tossing him aside like a doll - one of which happened while he was on the campaign trail. CRACKED.COM David Herbert Donald, 1996 Lincoln. — Source

23

The name Plato is synonomous with reason. But it actually means broad. Plato is the most famous student of Socrates, and his name has come to stand for ancient Greek philosophy. But his real name was Aristocles. As it turns out, the nickname Plato (meaning broad) was bestowed by his wrestling coach, Ariston of Argos. There are several theories as to why. Some suggest that it's a reference to his wide forehead, or the breadth of his eloquence. But the most logical assumption is that it's an allusion to his, ah, robust physique. CRACKED.COM George McLean & Patrick Aspell, 1997 — Source

22

Rita Hayworth was the top pinup girl of the 1940s. She underwent a painful ethnic makeover. Rita was born Margarita Carmen Cansino. She was raised in a Spanish dance family, and spent much of her childhood dancing in bars. When she tried to make it in Hollywood she was told that that her lack of success was due to her being way too Spanish-y. So she underwent painful electrolysis to raise her hairline, then dyed her black hair red. Next came skin lightening - a dangerously unregulated practice even now. Imagine how it must have been in the 1930s. CRACKED.COM Susan Ware, — Source

21

Picture Isaac Newton, and you see a guy with an apple falling on his head. That never happened. Newton never mentioned anything about an apple, and in fact it was another guy named John Conduitt who first told the story some 60 years after it supposedly happened. Even then, there's no mention of it hitting Newton on the head. The story is even vague about whether Newton actually saw an apple fall, or whether he-or Conduitt, for that matter - used the metaphor of an apple falling from a tree as a way to explain his epiphany about gravity. CRACKED.COM http://www.phy6.org/stargaze/Sgravity.htm — Source

20

Everyone honors St. Patrick by wearing green. But St. Patrick's official color is blue. The earliest depictions of St. Patrick show him clothed entirely in blue, not green, and when George III created a new order of chivalry for the Kingdom of Ireland, the Order of St. Patrick, its official color was a sky blue, known as St. Patrick's Blue. Blue was originally the color of Ireland, and a gold harp on a blue background still appears on the Irish constitution and presidential flag. The color green represents the divide between Ireland and Great Britain. CRACKED.COM http://www.smithsonianmag.com/arts-culture/should-st-patricks-day-be-blue-180954572/ — Source

19

Medieval Lifespan i'm fine CRACKED.COM No, medieval people didn't all die before the age of 40. The average lifespan from that time is just that: an average. One that's heavily skewed by high child mortality rates. Plenty of people lived well past 30, allowing them to fully appreciate Steely Dan. — Source

18

NEANDERTHALS WERE NOT DIM-WITTED. They were capable of complex thought, communication, and sophisticated technology. And they bred with modern humans. CRACKED.COM — Source

17

Beef myths THE McCOYS The Hatfield-McCoy feud is often remembered as a story of two families fighting each other, but it's really about how Eastern capitalists caused a lot of upheaval in the region and affected the lives of the people living there. THE HATFIELDS CRACKED — Source

16

Beef myths AARON BURR The election of 1800 didn't cause the Hamilton-Burr duel, but it was due to Hamilton's supposed bad-mouthing of Burr when Burr was running for governor of New York in 1804. ALEXANDER HAMILTON CRACKED — Source

15

Beef myths TY COBB Despite their different ways of playing, Cobb and Ruth eventually put aside their differences and became friends. This was demonstrated by their handshake at the 1924 World Series and their golf tournament in 1941. BABE RUTH CRACKED — Source

14

Beef myths SALVADOR DALÍ Dalí and Picasso weren't always enemies. In fact, their relationship was complicated, with admiration, rivalry and even some inspiration from each other. PABLO PICASSO CRACKED — Source

13

CRACKED.COM MYTH: Immigrants' last names were Americanized on Ellis Island Officials at Ellis Island didn't record names onto paper. Changes to names were made later, by the immigrants themselves. — Source

12

CRACKED.COM MYTH: Betsy Ross created the first American flag There's no evidence to suggest this, aside from her grandson's account. Historians have confirmed that she made flags for the Pennsylvania State Navy Board. — Source

11

CRACKED.COM MYTH: The Supreme Court has always had nine justices The number of justices is set by Congress. At its founding, the Supreme Court only had six members. To help cement anti-slavery, Abraham Lincoln helped to add a tenth seat. In the 1930s, Franklin D. Roosevelt even proposed raising the number to 15. — Source

10

CRACKED.COM MYTH: The Pilgrims definitely landed on Plymouth Rock It wasn't until 121 years after William Bradford & Co. set foot on land that there's any mention of the granite. A son of a Pilgrim told of its signification, but the only surviving firsthand accounts make no mention of it. — Source

9

CRACKED.COM MYTH: The Founding Fathers were Christians. No matter who you include as a Founding Father, not all of them were Christian. Deism (which prioritizes human experience and rationality over religious dogma and texts) had a huge influence during their time. — Source

8

CRACKED.COM MYTH: Cowboys are uniquely American The original cowboys were Mexican cattlemen, known as vaqueros, who predate America cowboys. They taught future American cowboys how to do everything that's now considered classic cowboy, and eventually one in three cowboys were Mexican vaqueros. — Source

7

CRACKED BURNING AT THE STAKE AT THE SALEM WITCH TRIALS People often think that witches were burned at the stake during the Salem Witch Trials, but that's not true. In reality, 19 of the accused were hanged and one was pressed to death with heavy stones. — Source

6

CRACKED MARIE ANTOINETTE SAYING LET THEM EAT CAKE Marie Antoinette supposedly said this when she heard peasants were very hungry. But it's likely that something like this phrase was actually said by Maria Theresa, the Spanish princess who married Louis XIV a century before Marie Antoinette's time. — Source

5

CRACKED DARWIN BEING AN ATHEIST Darwin wasn't an atheist, but he was a deist and did believe in some kind of higher power. Не just didn't believe in Jesus as the Savior or Redeemer. — Source

4

CRACKED CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS PROVING THE EARTH WAS ROUND. Christopher Columbus didn't set out to prove the Earth was round, because educated people already knew it was a sphere in the 15th century. — Source

3

CRACKED EVERLAST CHASTITY BELTS IN THE MIDDLE AGES In the Middle Ages, people talked about chastity belts as a way to keep women faithful. But the truth is, not many of these belts actually existed back then. The references to them in writing were probably just symbolic. — Source

2

CRACKED VIBRATORS AS TREATMENT FOR HYSTERIA It's a common misconception that Victorian doctors used vibrators to treat female hysteria, but there's no proof that this was ever a regular medical practice at all. — Source

1

CRACKED THE DESTRUCTION OF THE LIBRARY OF ALEXANDRIA The Library of Alexandria wasn't destroyed in one big event, but over a long period of time. Fires, lack of care, and the fact that papyrus scrolls were becoming outdated all played a part in its destruction. — Source

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