22 Failed Attempts at Showing Off

‘I tried to do parkour and fell off a roof’
22 Failed Attempts at Showing Off

Rarely does an attempt to show off result in actually impressing someone, but many of these failed attempts deserve some kind of award anyway. Like the guy who was so hellbent on impressing a group of girls that he tried to hurtle a bike-parking apparatus, but instead, wound up tripping, hitting his head on the metal, making a squawking sound and collapsing to the ground. Then, as if the story couldn’t get any worse, a group of tourists, having seen the entire display, started taking pictures and laughing. So in a way, he did impress people, just not his target audience. 

Along those lines, Redditors have reluctantly told the stories of times they showboated themselves into humiliation, and some of these tales are so cringey it’s hard to believe they happened to real people. 

Artisane . 12y Jumped off the 2nd story of our house once. Planted my knee right into my forehead. Yeah, I wasn't so bright 20 years ago. ... 14
Cthulhuhoop . 1 12y A friend build a quarter pipe when we were in 8th grade, and I decided I should be the first one to drop in on it. My board shot out from under me, and I landed on my arm wrong; when I tried to stand up, my arm had an extra joint in it with some bone poking out. Came out of it with a compound fracture and roughly a half dozen fractures to my growth plate, wrist and hand.
 . 12y Tried to light my cigarette using a stove burner; burned my fringe off. ... 3
Forthewolfxx.1 12y I tried to do parkour, and fell off a roof. ... 485
dascase . 12y I stumbled upon someone's outdoor bdsm scene and thought I'd be a hero until the woman tied to the tree screamed at me to go away. ... 520
ItsGenetic . . 12y Attempted to jump over a rather large area of plants. I cleared the plants, landed, promptly lost traction on the grass, and lost a good chunk of skin on my ankle to friction. I don't always bail when attempting stupid shit...but when I do, I bail horrendously ... 3
StumpyGoblin . 12y My friend told me to try and do a front flip on my trampoline. I said if he did, I would. Не confidently got onto the trampoline, jumped a few times then did a successful flip. Okay, didn't look so hard. Не got off and I climbed on. I did what he did, started off with a few bounces to get myself high enough. Once I thought I was, I launched myself forwards, did the flip and landed on my feet. However, I forgot that I should extend my knees and that trampolines are fairly bouncy. My
 12y when I was younger highlander was real popular. all the kids in the neighborhood would play with the idea of the movie there can be only one so we would hit each other with bats and swords and whatnot. I was the kid who didn't want to hurt people so I walked up to this tree which split into a y shape about chest height.. I held the metal baseball bat over my head and yelled THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE ( side note 15 kids and mabey 3 adults were now watching me) and swung the bat as
jenniferjuniper . 12y Grade 8 basketball. Last game of the season... I have not scored a point all year. Everyone is over by our net and I, for some reason, am standing in the middle of the court. Someone throws the ball to me! Nobody is near me, I have a clear path to their net to do a lay up. IT IS MY TIME TO SHINE! I picture myself scoring this awesome point and everyone thinking I'm a hero!!! I take a step, start dribbling, and trip over nothing and fall flat on my face and the ball goes
clobes . 1 12y I was showing people how cool butterfly knives are. I held it from the wrong side. My finger hurt for months. ... 17
ToastiestDessert . 1 12y Tried to do a gainer (back flip while running forwards) in my university pool. landed on my head a drilled my teeth right into my knee cap. big hole and a lot of blood. ... 5
Ommec . . 12y I tired to open a door by kicking it open, all with a trombone in my hand. I slipped on a rug and fell on the trombone. Flat as a pancake.... ... 3
themagnificentgipper . 12y I was on a trip with most of my high school in Vermont. I tried to do a 360 flip in front of a group of the cuter girls. I did a 270.. landed sideways and tore my acl. At least they visited me in the hospital ... 3
SyanticRaven 12y A well known story through my friends group is the story about how 1 of them tried to show off 1 day we were in town. Не saw a group of women around our age and decided to show off he was going to hurtle the bike parking poll things. Well lets just say it all went horribly wrong. On the 3rd (out of 5) he tripped, cracked his head off of the bars, made a horrible squawking noise and rolled onto the road. The reason we remember it so fondly is because just as it happened an
Ayn_Rand_Was_Right - 12y imitating a karate show i saw on discovery channel in science class. I decide I can break the wood covering a stool. I jump in the air, in full view of he class, and punch the stool as hard as I could. I ended up breaking my hand. I waited until the teacher asked if anyone had any questions (20 min) to ask if I could go to the nurse. ... 10
inexcess . 12y Once at a party I caught the eye of this chick wrapped in the arms of a dude. To my drunken eye, it looked like she was in trouble and needed help. So of course thinking im about to play hero and win the broad, I tell the dude Yo thats my girlfriend. Nope. Turns out it was his girlfriend. Shit proceeded to hit the fan and of course the guy was unhappy. I didnt back down but people seperated us and I left, and only didnt feel embarrased at the time because of my liquor blanket.
 . 12y I was at a firing range with a few types of pistols. I tried to show off my awesome skills by firing a very large holyfuck-caliber pistol with only one hand, and hit my self in the face on recoil, along with cutting my hand because I didn't hold it the right way. My friend doesn't let me forget about this incident. ... 2
 12y It was a party at my place. I've invited some girls and 2 male friends. We started drinking, listening to music... well, just enjoying the evening. After a while, we began to dance and when a hiphop track came up, my friend and I began to breakdance to impress the ladies. I was an amateur - he not. Everything went quite good and they even cheered to me (in a good way). Until I made one move: I went down and took off his pants (it's usually a normal finishing move). Unfortunately I did it wrong. I took off his
Huevoos 0 12y I was playing football with some friends. And, for some reason, I miss a pass. When we're getting ready to start the next play I hear the guy that was supposed to tackle me say to someone: He's afraid of me. I get pissed off, with the football in hand I go towards him and yell: So, who the fuck is afraid of you!? as I was throwing the ball yo the floor -you know, to add some drama-. I watched the fear in his eyes and, just when I was about to shove him, I felt
 12y I was in line at the grocery store and the lady in front of me was being really rude to the cashier. I never do this, but I was with my girlfriend of a few months at this point, and wanted to impress her. So I said, loudly to her, I can't believe how rude some people are! The lady ranting at the cashier stoped talking for a second and I started to smile. My plan had worked. Then she turned towards me and started screaming. I didn't know what to say so I just stood there and
NoonelikesRickAstley  12y First week of college. An older friend I knew rented a house and put a trampoline in the back yard. We're bouncing and doing double bounces so we can flip really high. Well a really cute girl comes over to hang out with my friend. So I was like check how high I can flip. My buddy gives me a wicked double bounce and sends me really high and off to the side. I do a flip and land on the unpadded metal bar and broke two ribs. ... 3
TokerElla. 12y Tried a sexy lapdance once and fell backwards into a table, nocking it down and ended up with a bunch of cigarette-buts in my hair, bellybutton and the floor from the ashtray. Not my most bad-ass performance! ... 40


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