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Garbage... everywhere...

28 Useless Products Destined for the Great Pacific Garbage Patch

February 02, 2024

Look to your left. Now look to your right. Whatever objects you just looked at, you probably don’t need. But it could be worse! You could have any of these fine products…

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$ VITAMIN SUPPLEMENTS SALE SALE o $ ns Acid Vitamin deficiencies are bad, sure. But in people with normal (Vegetable (Vegetable Source) Source). ely BY 016 Cellulose Stearic DIENTS Powder Oil INGRE diets, study after study have DIS OTHER Stearate long-term or otherwise, to taking failed to find any benefit, SALE CRACKED.COM vitamin pills. of — Source

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IMMUNITY $ $ BOOSTERS SALE O SALE Airborne | I S Immune Support Supplement with Herbs, Vitamins & Minerals PARENTS: Helps Support Your Immune System' NA Blast of Vitamin с plus 13 Vitamins, E Minerals & Herbs Zinc Vitamin Echinacie C A CRACKED.COM GALE Boosting your immune system isn't a thing. An overactive $ immune system is just allergies. Airborne had to pay over $20 million for their false claims that they can cure or prevent colds. — Source

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PENIS PUMPS $ $ $ SALE SALE CRACKED.COM GALE GALP Please don't use pumps to get bigger. You might get erect when you otherwise couldn't, sure, but you also might rip your equipment apart, keeping you from ever getting erect again. — Source

24

LOW-FAT FOOD $ $ SALE O SALE 94% FAT F Still 45% Less Fat LOW FAT rage or ate Brands 33 % FAT LESS D Changed! There Cottop ~ 'BRING OUT THE BEST's PARTE ADATE OF OMBAR SEADING CHECKLAY DAND BRANCS Nutri-Grau HELLMANN'S nti Card 1% SEX Low Fat - Hood 50% less for ANDERSON NCT 15 Celerie ERICKSON Low Fat Grak A AE - 75 Middle about Collect Low Fat MAYONNAISE DRESSING Strawberry - OTHER NATURAL RADIO Cottage Cheese CRACKED.COM Lowfat You'ret If it makes up the reduced calories with added sugar (like most low-fat foods do), your $ body just turns — Source

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$ DOUCHES $ $ $ SALE O SALE DE Summer's Eve® Summer's Eve pH-bal relieves irritation Island Splash Medicated Douche Douche EH-Balanced pit-Balanced Naturally Irapined Relieves masor vaginal iretation & tching Gymecologie invest THE Lisks 45 %L.CC ass mL) Each 2 Times Units 2 149,00.14 mL) Each 45% COL CASS CRACKED.COM TWD SALE Douches don't clean you. In fact, douching raises your chance of ي getting an infection, which is the one thing most likely to make you smell bad. — Source

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SPORTS $ $ DRINKS $ SALE SALE DE L 130 20 20 FL G GATORADE THIRST QUEN EMO I am NE CRACKED.COM Sports drinks are sugar water. Good for refueling athletes, but if you're exercising to lose weight, refueling defeats the purpose. Work out less than an hour, and a Gatorade will make you gain weight. — Source

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E COLON $ $ CLEANSES $ SALE o SALE BOSTO ENT -D FO MOUN The next as LOW FAT While contin VEZ SUPER UN NO CHO Supplement Facts also use the - Ins sh Body Cleansir - SUPER EXIT BEBI world THE NO SOO inny Son: 4 Capsules есто los net hip Pat Container: 60 ... 75 on ice 100% MG Colon 2 Liver Colon not Per Serving %Daily Value** 3 Kidne - In etter NAT Carles 10 NO NATUR in A for - : Cartohydrates 1g mbs the by you Cleanse 4 Blood <1% Cleanse SOU SOUR Bean Fiber <1g — Source

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WHOLE-WHEAT UP BREAD $ SALE SALE CRACKED.COM SALE Whole wheat is good for you ... if that bread you buy is marked $ 100% whole wheat. Otherwise, you're just paying more for white bread with a few additives to change the color and feel. — Source

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RENTAL $ $ INSURANCE SALE SALE enterprise ® enterprise -enterprise Enterprise 47:5k CRACKED.COM SALP GAL Rent a car, and they'll always push you to buy rental insurance. But do you own a car at home? S The auto insurance you already have (almost certainly) covers rentals too. — Source

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25 PREMIUM $ $ I GASOLINE $ SALE SALE ar Clean Plus Clean SuperClean ULTRA94 143.4 125.4 134.4 140.4 //TITRE c/LITRE //LITRE //TTTE TACTROL ADDITIVE TACTROL ADDITIVE TACTROL ADDITIVE PUSH TO START PUSH TO START PUSH TO START PUSH TO START OCTANE OCTANE OCTANE OCTANE 94 91 89 87 CRACKED.COM SALE SALE Unless your manual says you need it, premium high-octane gas will do nothing for your car. You're not giving your car a little treat or cleaning the insides out-there's literally no benefit at all. — Source

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SAUNA BELTS $ SALE O SALE Sauna VELFORM Sauna Belt CRACKED.COM A sauna belt doesn't help you burn calories. You might lose weight through sweat (so, $ : athletes wear sauna suits right before a weigh-in), but you won't A burn fat, and you'll gain the weight back when you recover. — Source

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THE SHAKE $ $ WEIGHT $ SALE SALE GRACKED.COM SALE No, the shake weight isn't more effective than a regular $ dumbbell. It's less effective, $ when used properly. And if you just hold it for the vibrations like in the videos, it'll do nothing. — Source

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STRETCH $ $ MARK CREAM SALE SALE Pormuta act Zin RALMER'S COCOA BUTTER FORMULA Massage Cream FOR STRETCH MARKS adidas Vitamin г. Collagen Mailin and Shea Buttor ASI CONCENTRATE CRACKED.COM - SALE SALE Cocoa butter isn't going to do anything to rid you of stretch $ marks (which will fade a bit naturally with time). Cocoa butter does smell nice, though, so there's that. — Source

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PC CLEANUP $ APPS $ SALE SALE Cicono Maintenance 307 issues to fix & 1.9 GB to clean up 79 issues Broken registry items 163 issues Broken shortcuts 1.5 GB > System junk 410.3 MB Browser cache 65 issues Tracking & other cookies 17,376 items Browsing & download history CRACKED.COM SALE Never download a program that offers to clean up your PC. Windows already has tools for $ : that. The program will instead diagnose you with fake issues and ask you to buy a solution. — Source

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PAPER BAGS $ $ $ SALE O SALE GRACKED.COM GALE They degrade more easily than VY plastic, yes. But factor in $ production costs, and each one S leads to 70 times as much air pollution as a plastic bag and 50 times as much water pollution. — Source

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MOSQUITO $ $ CANDLES $ SALE O SALE INSECT REPELLENT GRACKED COM oh2 SAL Thinking of using citronella candles to keep mosquitos away? They're not strong enough to do anything. Feel free to grab any scented candle and get the same effect. — Source

11

Snooki plugged sketchy Zantrex-3 diet pills. Go figure that a celebrity who gained fame by being crappy was attached to a diet product that's full of crap. Meet the SECRET Sauce! This is the nooki Secret! -it's in the bag! New ZANTREX 3 MANUFACTURED - THE U.K.A Rapid Weight Losa Extreme Energy لين HAKE WHAT ZANTREX-3 ZANTREX 4 No Ephedrine NIGH ENERGY Rope I im YA МАМА Dietary FAT BURNER Extrame Energy Supplement - - Japan Fat Loos GAVE YA Demary 30 capaulos -Incredition Energy Supplement Promoted to porte - - - Detary Supplement Zantrex-3 was chock full o' unhealthy — Source

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Bollywood actors peddle dangerous skin-lightening cream. Arguably the world's famous most actor, Shah Rukh Khan is among a number of Indian celebrities who promote a product with the express purpose of making them look less, well, Indian. FAIRNESS LIKE LASER LIGHT TREATMENT Fair ADVANCED Lovely MULTI VITAMIN™ Fair c Fair Lovely Fair: Lovely Fair Lovely Lovely MALTI VITAMIN - - - Time - - - 100 The cultural implications of skin-whitening aside, the creams being sold are often a dangerous cocktail of steroids, hydroquinone, and tretinoin. This can definitely make the user more pale, as it may lead to cancer, — Source

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Nicki Minaj (and others) pushed dangerous Teatox products. Minaj is just one of a cavalcade of celebrities who use their Instagram accounts to push products involved in the weight loss craze called teatoxing. nicklimina Fation months age Keeping with some - from attitudes arandyale shayook25 Jones - 2014 when - - - Omg lieve you g debby_official I love medsands Warning if you - reading this you will de tonight My name . Ryan and inst no fiede Repout the or и Detox Mt HEYANGUA ROXT pictures otherwise . will de tonight don't believe - A boy read . and laughed — Source

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LeBron and Pitbull were the spokesmen for performance-enhancing caffeine strips. As the idols of millions of youngsters, you'd think Lebron James and (possibly) Pitbull might know better than to market Sheets Energy Strips as if they were sweet, delicious candy. Sheets EXCLUSIVE Individually wrapped energy strips CAVS EXTRA-STRENGTH ENERGY Blake EXTRA-STRENGTH NEW ENERGY Sheets locksmith ACE Sheet av M almage - Sheets Sheets im - ELECTRIC NEW 23 - loogs M Demand - 8 SERVINGS gives Shi Soup - - Shilts MINT BOOS PAST-ACTIVE - - - SPOTARY - BERRY BLAST FAST-ACTING ENERGY Especially when the product hasn't passed FDA — Source

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28 Useless Products Destined for the Great Pacific Garbage Patch — Source

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Alex Jones sells a crapload of sketchy dietary supplements. The Alex Jones empire appears to be slowly evolving from a conspiracy theory dissemination hub to a pseudoscientific dietary supplement business. LIMITED TIME FLASH SALE INFOWARS Me SUPER 30%OFF OFF MALE VITALITY PER MALE VITALITY GET YOURS TODAY DETAIN even Emilia - LINE BUGGESTEUPS And the strategy looks to be paying off handsomely. Unfortunately, scientists have given poor reviews to his concoctions, such as unsupported in research, never been studied, and no real basis in science. And some of them have been found to contain a Ronnie James Dio-load of heavy — Source

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Bethenny Frankel hawked sketchy diet cocktails. Reality TV star Bethenny Frankel, who is presented on Real Housewives of New York City as something of a boozehound, decided to parlay her marginal fame into selling low-calorie (not so much) hooch called Skinnygirl Cocktails. ikinnygirl Skinnygirl ORIGINAL Sadly, instead of being all natural, her products contained enough carcinogenic chemical preservatives to result in their removal from Whole Foods shelves, leading to a false advertising lawsuit. CRACKED.COM — Source

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Gwyneth Paltrow is the queen of shady butt stuff. Pinning down the most ridiculous product promoted by balderdash merchant Gwyneth Paltrow is no easy task. So instead of the harmless-but-silly stuff, let's look at the potentially dangerous things she's encouraged customers to subject themselves to. Infrared Saunas. Detox Spas. and the Best Spots for Colonics GOOF e to spen long detox for your digestive selem issat - some heal the right help can speed the digestive sintern only lette Caffeine withdrawal Seedaches - the wond and help fluch towing faster NYC LA LONDON OTHER Namely, unnecessary butt stuff. Not only — Source

2

Kim Kardashian spammed social media with useless diet lollipops. Marketing sugar-filled lollipops with unproven secret ingredients as a weight loss tool may seem incongruous, but what's even less rational is posting an Instagram advertisement for such a product during Mental Health Awareness Week. kimkardashian Follow kimkardashian #ad You guys... FLATTUMMY @flattummyco just dropped a new LOLLIPOPS product. They're Appetite Suppressant LO Lollipops and they're literally unreal. Appetite Suppressont They're giving the first 500 people on their website 15% OFF so if you want to get your hands on some... you need to do it quick! #suckit Load more comments Which — Source

1

Shaq promoted bracelets that claimed to make people better at sports. Power Balance bracelets hilariously purported to use holographic technology to resonate with and respond to the natural energy field of the body. ELTOS POWER 36 The makers shelled out enough cash to convince elite athletes like Shaquille O'Neal (and Robert De Niro?) to wear them. After a lawsuit exposed the silliness, the company admitted that there is no credible scientific evidence that supports our claims and therefore we engaged in misleading conduct. CRACKED.COM — Source

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