26 of the Funniest Burns from the Week of January 22, 2024

Sorry, short kings
26 of the Funniest Burns from the Week of January 22, 2024

There’s no denying that Coachella is the granddaddy of all modern music festivals. The genre-blending gathering lasts for an entire weekend out in the middle of the California desert and sets the literal stage for iconic performances from musical powerhouses like Daft Punk, Prince and Rage Against the Machine. 

But lately, Coachella has catered to a younger generation with their campgrounds serving as a sponsored-content funhouse for social media influencers — and it’s starting to show. For years, getting tickets to the festival was nothing short of something out of the Hunger Games, requiring hopefuls to jump through numerous hoops in order to secure passes before they sold out. But for the first time in decades, tickets for the festival’s first weekend are still up for grabs after going on sale late last week. It seems that not even a No Doubt reunion can bring people to care about Coachella these days. One Twitter user pointed out that even the logo looks tired.

Luckily for its sake, the once-great festival didn’t bear the brunt of the timeline’s harsh words alone this week. Other quality burns over the last seven days include those about someone trying to enjoy their lunch in peace, an influencer of biblical proportions and an ode to the New York Mets. 

Richard Staff @RichardStaff.4d BUCK! Ron DeSantis spending $300M to embarrass himself and come in fourth place is a heartwarming tribute to the New York Mets 129 2.7K 28K 1.9M
frogan @fr0gan . 1d craving a hot dog is a sign of a mental health crisis 269 6.5K 44K 2.4M
mir.i.am @jewbyboobie 3d white rat bastard is such a top notch insult 118 6.4K 60K 3M
chunky fila @chunkyfila 1d chanting 4 more years for joe biden is crazy cuz he don't even have that much time left for himself let alone this country 3 177 2.7K 81K
carl marks @whoreby_parker 1d ... 5'6 men on hinge looking for short-term relationships oh i'm sure 110 5.2K 80K 2.8M
viva palestine @NuuYawkerr . 2d Не about to break up a fight between inner city youths out of context dogs @contextdogs 2d C 0:09 39 2.6K 40K 1.6M
DEE VIOUS @D33VIOUS1. 1d Bisexuality Is a Myth created by Urban outfitters to sell unisex nail polish and cardigans !!!!! gian @umm_gian 2d HEY! quick reminder. gosh i cant believe i have to post this. ATTRACTION TO ATTRACTION TO THE SAME GENDER DIFFERENT GENDERS ALL BISEXUAL 585 5.5K 10 224K
thea @th333a 5d imagine turning over in the morning and seeing that man. id scream moon @seweetener. 6d bi panic is not knowing who's hotter, ariana or ethan 121 4.5K 95K 3.4M
binp @the_binp 3d ... saw someone say that ron desantis smiles like the 1959 uconn huskies logo TM 128 2.8K 54K 2.7M
jeremy @jeremylovesyall . 3d spirited still reigns supreme as the fakest movie of all time. if you try to play it your tv will malfunction because it doesn't exist. nothing exists of that movie beyond the poster. H. Perry Horton @hperryhorton . 3d Apple TV: We're not sure this Sofia Coppola movie is going be worth financing. Also Apple TV: twitter.com/CoppolaUpdates... An Apple Original Film Will Ferrell Ryan Reynolds ghosted Chris Evans Ana de Armas SPIRITED the An Apple Original Film greatest WILL SMITH beer run EMANCIPATION ever stv+ Pabst Blue Ribber 108 362 9K 698K
rofiat @rofivelli 1d only thing a 26 year old man can do for you is turn 27 VXZ @vxsjmz . 3d i i do not need a bf i need a man that is like 26 and ready to be a husband i am sick of it all 205 13K 106K 4.9M
@zacdose 1d ... i ain't eating this l TIME SENSITIVE an DoorDash Smelvin is approachin 126 4.9K 93K del 3.3M
lil peanut @such_A_frknlady 3d ... jonathan majors is probably FURIOUS seeing someone else live his dream SPORTS Baltimore Banner Sports @AllBannerSports. 4d Meet the Ravens fan who went viral for looking like Martin Luther King Jr. bit.ly/3Uajzlx 5 245 724 46K
M*chael R*berts @michaelsroberts- 3d Dianne Warren getting nominated for writing a Becky G song for a Cheetos movie is like....we've gone way too far 7 197 1.8K 127K
kcl @kycarrerolopez 1d ... i think about this all the time Glow @gIowiny 10/13/22 ... I like kissing americans, they kiss like they're hungry 288 3.4k 35.6k Beans's wrld Seguir @shethevoid Our food don't got nutrients 53 12K 147K 2.8M
yalitza apariciosus @dunevillenuve 3d THE THIS IS BITCH!!! OSCARS we clown in this muthafucka betta take yo sensitive ass back to Movie QTV Awards 4F DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm . 3d 'SALTBURN' did not get nominated for any #Oscars See the full nominees list: bit.ly/ Oscars24 577 8.4K 2 320K
Cartoons Hate Her! @CartoonsHateHer 3d ... I literally thought this was Trump Imao SELENA (off meds) @milky_selena.3d the PORK PARADOX. friendly reminder that pork contains the souls of banished humans look into the eyes of the swine for yourself tell me that these are not the eyes of a human being. tell me this is not somebody who was punished for brutal criminality. it is a medical FACT.... twitter.com/TopGirlKeiko/ S... Show more 54 496 12K 523K
Diego Crespo @thediegocrespo 2d not the point of this post but I like that greta is dressed like a sith and andrew is dressed like a pirate Jorge Molina @colormejorge 3d The Academy will rue the day 20 496 10K 379K
beer person @CantEverDie. 3d 6 votes total. this is the most inbred town in all of america BNO BNO News @BNONews 3d NEWS Nikki Haley wins Republican primary in Dixville Notch, New Hampshire - the state's first town to vote - Nikki Haley: 6 - Donald Trump: 0 BNO ELECTION 2024 NEWS DIXVILLE NOTCH, NH RESULTS NIKKI HALEY GOP WINNER 69 279 11K 546K
ToO MuCh To HaNdLe @ah_bee_girl . 1d GRWM to collect the ten commandments @deejay_103.2d About to buy this sandal, does it look nice ? 438 9.1K 61K 2.8M
Cian @nodrectionhome : 3d We're about to witness the worst Oscars skit in history DF DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm . 3d 'BARBIE' and 'OPPENHEIMER' are both nominated for Best Adapted Screenplay at the #Oscars See the full nominees list: bit.ly/Oscars24 84 5.1K 101K 4M
drew @hydratedangel - 1d even the font looks exhausted POP CRAVE Pop Crave @PopCrave 1d Coachella Festival sees slowest ticket sales in 10 years. COACHELLA 34 2.6K 2.2M 106K
@simplylay 1d ... All I did was order a Canniac combo on his card so I can have lunch and dinner and now he using biblical insults Today 6:08 PM O AMB Round two bout to hit u gluttonous ass motherfucker first-mate prance 87 1.3K 33K 970K
JL-football is over @JackPLamb 4d CELTICS Rare to see the guy of the relationship have the fiancee 33 gums Tim Scott @votetimscott.4d She said YES. Mindy, thank you for making me the luckiest man in the world. Не who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord - Proverbs 18:22 9 209 6.3K 600K
SONY bethany @kimwexlcrs- 3d imagine being margot's previous stylist that the entire internet made fun of, then your replacement gets an entire book dedicated to their craft Courtney Howard @Lulamaybelle . 3d Screaming crying throwing up! All of Margot Robbie's #BarbieTheMovie/ #BarbieMovie press tour looks will be compiled into a book, says her stylist Andrew Mukamal. #BarbieTheWorldTour will be released by Rizzoli on 3/28. andrewmukaman introducing: Available 3/8/24 This book was an idea had in my living room when started dreaming about Margot's wardrobe for the Barbie press tour in March 2023. could have never imagined just a few months later we'd
Emily Haswell @myemtv 1d Idk anything about Dune but from this poster it looks like it's about a giant chihuahua chasing some tiny people. FILMED FOR IMAX DUNE PART TWO ONLY IN THEATRES 158 5.7K 103K 3.5M


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