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34 Fast-Food Companies That Probably Should Have Thought a Little Further Inside the Bun

Maybe focus on the quality before the marketing, strange menu items and edible nail polish!

34 Fast-Food Companies That Probably Should Have Thought a Little Further Inside the Bun

January 26, 2024

Welcome to Staying in Your Lane 101, a class designed to refocus fast-food companies that have strayed a little too far from the course. Some very weird “edible” concoctions were drummed up, and the overall quality dipped to illegally low lows, but don’t worry, we’ll get these “restaurants” back on track soon enough!

34

The ВК Piss Meal MUAD MIAS SED N FE M YAAAS и SALTY MEAL DGAF MEAL CRACKED.COM In a bizarre attempted dunk on the Happy Meal, Burger King introduced a series of competing mood-based meals, including, for some reason, the YAAAS Meal and the Pissed Meal. — Source

33

KFC bath bombs KFC x VILLAGE VONGUARD - dock - GRACKED.COM In 2017, KFC Japan offered bath bombs that would make your skin smell just like the decadent fried flesh offered by your favorite poultry murder syndicate. — Source

32

KFC's horny sex fiction CRACKED.COM KFC used the occasion of Mothers Day 2017 to commission an 83-page romance novella, called Tender Wings of Desire. — Source

31

Krispy Kreme (accidentally) supports the Klan COLOURING LUESDAY 18th February, 12:00pm - 5.00pm KKK WEDNESDAY CRACKED.COM In 2015, a Krispy Kreme location in the UK planned a week of fun family events, including a Wednesday dedicated to the unfortunately named Krispy Kreme Klub. — Source

30

The moldy Whopper CRACKED.COM Burger King wanted to prove they were serious about removing artificial preservatives from their beef, so they publicized a neat timelapse of a putrid, rotting Whopper. — Source

29

Burger King's sex toys Only on valentines Only from 6 PM KING BURGER Adults Meal - 18+ B+ CRACKED.COM For a few brief, sensual hours in 2017, ВК locations in Israel offered Adult Meals, which came with the mildest sex toys known to man. — Source

28

The Noid caused a hostage crisis N PIZZA CRACKED.COM Domino's recently brought back The Noid, hoping we'd all forgotten that time in 1989 when a paranoid man, surnamed Noid, took two Domino's employees hostage because he thought the tagline avoid the Noid! was directed at him. — Source

27

Burger King's Halloween Burger While it (subjectively) looked cool 'n spooky, there's an equation the fast food industry simply must learn: Black food dye = Green poop + the public will not let you live it down CRACKED.COM — Source

26

McDonald's McSpaghetti СС on ald's Spaghetti was introduced in the 1970s, when no one was begging the burger company to attempt Italian. However, it did take off in the Philippines where it's still available. CRACKED.COM — Source

25

McDonald's Hula Burger The hula burger was a cheeseburger minus the burger, plus grilled pineapple. Made to appeal to Catholics abstainning during Lent, it failed miserably where Filet-O-Fish succeeded. CRACKED.COM — Source

24

Taco Bell's Waffle Taco Taco Bell keeps trying to make breakfast happen for them, and, aside from a drunken 4 a.m. run, no one wants to wake up bright and early to clean out their intestines. CRACKED.COM — Source

23

Taco Bell's Seafood Salad To compete with the Filet-O-Fish, Taco Bell introduced a seafood salad in the 1980s. Unsurprisingly, it was a complete flop. Salad AND seafood? From Taco Bell? Hard pass. CRACKED.COM — Source

22

Burger King's Burger Pizza In a clear publicity stunt (that we are continuing to help hype, so it's effective), a 2,500 calorie pizza-sized burger was only available in New York because New Yorkers aren't snobs about their pizza or anything. CRACKED.COM — Source

21

Onion Nuggets

McDonald's Onion Nuggets Onion Nuggets Before the Chicken McNugget, there was the Onion Nugget. Introduced in the 1970s, they were clumps of onions deep-breaded and fried. CRACKED.COM — Source

20

Burger King's Whopperito CLAME Most people look at a Whopper and go, You know what would make this better? If it were a burrito, too. Not all foods need to be a mash-up, but don't tell Burger King, who sold the novelty item to compete with Chipotle. CRACKED.COM — Source

19

Taco Bell's Bell Beefer In the 1970s, Taco Bell introduced its chili burger. Basically a taco but with a bun instead of a shell. As if there weren't enough fast-food burger options, who thought we needed a harder-to-eat attempt? CRACKED.COM — Source

18

PINK SLIME CRACKED COM In 2011, Jamie Oliver told us about fast food's leftover beef trimmings treated with ammonium hydroxide, or Pink Slime. The industry lost $400 million in sales, shut down 3 plants, and McDonald's, Taco Bell, and Burger King announced they no longer use pink slime, but the product has been making a comeback in recent years. — Source

17

EXPIRED MEAT KFC CRACKED COM In 2014, undercover reporters filmed an American-owned Shanghai factory changing the dates on expired meat before sending it to McDonald's and KFC locations in China. KFC's parent company, Yum Brands, dropped the supplier, while McDonald's used the same company but a different plant. — Source

16

CHIPOTLE Е. coli OUTBREAKS CHIPOTLE E-COLI MEXICAN GRILL CRACKED.COM In 2007, Kansas City University food safety professor Dr. Douglas Powell warned that Chipotle was a ticking time bomb for a food borne illness outbreak. Не was proven right in 2015 when 55 people contracted Е. coli, and 21 were hospitalized. — Source

15

SUBWAY'S TUNA GRACKED.COM In 2021, multiple tuna samples from Californian Subways found a mixture of various concoctions that does not constitute tuna.The lawsuit included that 20 samples contained chicken, pork or cattle protein. The case was dismissed, but the Judge said that he would allow the plaintiffs to resubmit their complaint. — Source

14

Come on in, take a load off!

BURGER KING'S HORSE MEAT BURGER KING TM CRACKED.COM In 2013, European meat suppliers were caught mixing horse meat with beef. The top company involved was Burger King, and after trace amounts of horse meat were found in their supply chain, they immediately switched suppliers. — Source

13

CRACKED KFC'S FASHION LINE. During British Fashion Week, designer Katie Eary and her team of 100 designers completed KFC's challenge to create a number of original garments in 1 hour. It was aimed at promoting their new KFC Ricebox. — Source

12

CRACKED BURGER KING'S DEADLY POKEBALLS. BIG KiDS DIC M Charltard To promote 1999's Pokemon: The First Movie, every kids' meal came with a Pokemon figurine in its own Pokeball. The detachable pieces formed airtight seals around children's noses and mouths, and actually killed two small children. — Source

11

CRACKED MCDONALD'S PEDOMETERS. STEP-iT STEP-IT STEP-iT STEP-iT STEP-iT STEP-iT These Step It pedometers found in Happy Meals were a feeble attempt to prove McDonald's cares about health. Maybe they just needed proof that kids don't care about their step or calorie count. — Source

10

CRACKED TGI FRIDAYS' MOBILE MISTLETOE DRONE. In December 2014, a mobile mistletoe drone hovered over patrons to initiate make outs in exchange for prizes. During a demonstration in Brooklyn, a photographer got hit in the face, causing cuts to her chin and the end of her nose to be chipped off. — Source

9

CRACKED KFC'S EDIBLE CHICKEN-FLAVORED NAIL POLISH. FTS FINGER LICKIN ITS FINGER GOOD и LICKIN GOOD DI Two flavors, Original Recipe and a bright orange Hot and Spicy, were introduced in 2016. To accentuate their finger lickin' good slogan, they instructed celebrities, bloggers, and social media stars in Hong Kong to lick their freshly painted nails. — Source

8

CRACKED SUBWAY SUBWAY BREAD IS LEGALLY MORE CUPCAKE THAN BREAD. At 10 grams of sugar per foot-long, an Irish judge ruled that the sugar content is too high to be considered bread, and should actually be classified as a confectionary. — Source

7

CRACKED M MCDONALD'S BEEFED UP THEIR VEGETABLE OIL. When McDonald's switched from beef fat to vegetable oil to cook their fries, they forgot to mention that the vegetable oil still contained beef products. A lawsuit awarded $10 million to Hindu and vegetarian groups. — Source

6

CRACKED SUBWAY'S CHICKEN IS HALF THE CHICKEN IT USED TO BE. In 2017, the CBC revealed that chicken from Canadian Subways consists of just 50% chicken DNA. According to the study, the remaining 50% is made of soy fillers. — Source

5

Just Sell Us the Undercooked Beef!

CRACKED ON-BALANCE with LELAND VE ON BALANCE'S AD LUNCH TODAY M Pepper M M A CLASS ACTION SUIT FOR FALSE ADVERTISING. A Wendy's commercial food stylist said that she uses undercooked beef to make burgers look plumper, and layers toppings with pins. We all know the visual discrepancy, but in 2022, Wendy's and McDonald's got slapped with a false-advertising suit. — Source

4

CRACKED CHIPOTLE LIED ABOUT BEING GMO-FREE. They announced that their food was GMO-free in 2015, but their meat and dairy still came from animals fed on GMOs. Chipotle attorneys said, no reasonable consumer would expect that the non-GMO claims would be so strictly applied. — Source

3

Starbucks' door handles are dirtier than NYC subway poles. STARBUCKS COFFEE ARBUCKS COFFEE They were less dirty than CitiBike handlebars, however. NOW YOU KNOW CRACKED.COM — Source

2

McDonald's stopped making spoon-shaped coffee stirrers... X ...because people were using them as cocaine spoons. NOW YOU KNOW CRACKED.COM — Source

1

McDonald’s

McDonald's changed its French fry recipe because of a customer with a grudge. Businessman Phil Sokolof spent $3 million on ads scolding fast food restaurants for their unhealthy food. When he targeted McD specifically, they folded. NOW YOU KNOW CRACKED.COM — Source

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