23 of the Dumbest Things Children Said to Their Parents

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23 of the Dumbest Things Children Said to Their Parents

It was the late, great Whitney Houston who once said that children are the future and the not-so-late, not-so-great former president George W. Bush who vowed that no child would be left behind. Both of them were wrong. Most children are dumb as hell, and the best thing any parent can do is gauge how dumb their child is early on — and then do everything possible to course-correct so they don’t grow into stupid adults. 

To that end, Redditors have shared the powerfully stupid things their offspring have said or done, and asking what animal chicken nuggets are made of isn’t even close to being the dumbest.

Xantaraxy0 . 7y I asked my kid if he had to pee before bed. After I said that, he stuck his hand in his pants, felt his nuts and said, No, they arent hard ... 5.1k

SoWasTheRed . 7y On a clear afternoon: Son - Look mom, I found the earth. Me - Oh really? Where is it? Son - In the sky! My kid saw a daytime moon for the first time. ... 235

pancslady . 7 7y I wish I was a bird so that I could lay eggs To lay eggs. Nope, not to fly. To lay fucking eggs. ... 2.6k

kimbalinapea. . 7y I told my daughter to behave She said, Mommy I AM have! ... 2.2k

hotbutteredtoast . 7y This shirt doesn't have any arm holes! You have a pillow case on your head ... 11.2k

Pizzarolls23 . . 7y My nephew (4 or 5 years old at the time) asked Why does the dog never talk to me? Does he hate me ... 4.8k

Stonkly . 7 7y I asked my 3.5 year old what time it was.. he looked at his wrist (with no watch) looked back at me and said It's 38 pounds, daddy. ... 201

Callyopi . 7y Yesterday, in an attempt to get out of doing her homework (for kindergarten, so it was literally just drawing pictures) my daughter told me she forgot what eggs looked like. To top it off, we had just got done making brownies. She insisted on cracking the eggs. ... 282

time_to_feed_the_cat . 7y Took my daughter for her first driving lesson on a deserted dirt road. Her younger sister also with us. I stop to let the older daughter get in the drivers seat. We get situated and buckled in, my youngest daughter says Put this baby in R and let's Ride! Luckily the older one knew that the R is for reverse. We still laugh about that. ... 644

asneakydolphin . 1 7y Not a parent, but as children our parents asked my siblings and me what we wanted to be when we were older. The responses were: Fax Machine, Baby Stroller- pusher, And... A DOCTOR. Fuck my sister for having her life set up at 4 years old.

narcolepsyinc . 2 7y My daughter (around 5 or 6) asked What animal did my chicken nugget used to be? one night at dinner when we were talking about the importance of appreciating/ understanding where food came from. ... 5.3k

NuklearAngel . 7y When I was 2 my mum was pregnant and asked what I wanted my sibling to be. Nobody had explained siblings come in only two flavours - brothers or sisters - so I said I wanted a baby tiger. Ended up with a sister, and I have resented her for the last 22 years for not being a tiger. ... 9.2k

 . 7y When I was around 3 or 4 and my mom was pregnant. Mom: You're going to have a sister! Me: Where is she? Mom: In my tummy. Me: freaks out, starts to cry WHY DID YOU EAT HER??? ... 5.7k

Chinchilachanga . 7y According to my step- mother, when I was a wee lad she caught me eating rocks at the play ground, so naturally she told me to stop eating the rocks. I apparently turned around and said they're not rocks, they're stones and continued to eat them.

ZK686 . 7y When you were young, was there color, or was everything around you just black and white?- My 5yr old son ... 258

BlueMacaw 7y Son (in tears): My sister called me a trapezoid! Me: Do you know what a trapezoid is? Son: No! She always uses big word I don't understand! Me: .... .... ... 11.1k

HipsterBrewfus . . 7y Cat is sleeping Oldest, ~5 at the time, asks I wonder what Mo dreams about? Watermelons probably ... 3.5k

Dr_Doorknob . 7y I said this when I was a kid, Dad, why are we in the return line when I thought we were just buying some clothes? when I ask it I also like pull on his jacket it get his attention. But then he turns around and it isn't my dad, I was standing in line with this guy for like 3 min and he isn't even my dad. ... 5.1k

LastSonofKunLun . 7y 16 years old or so. Tried to tell us that it was illegal to call someone's house to find out if he was there. ... 98

 7y Daddy you have a HUGE vagina! (he was wearing boxers btw) ... 2k

Mauryssexydecoy 7y My son (3) laid down on this floor, on his back and put his feet in his mouth. With a garbled foot filled mouth he said: Maw maw gesh wut I am! I don't know son, what? A shocker (soccer) ball! My only child and genetic legacy. ... 4.4k

katikaboom 0 7y When my oldest was 5 I was pregnant. I found out I was having a boy and we excitedly told him he was having a brother. Не started crying. Like, full on sobbing. Through the tears he asked if you have a boy who will I marry when I grow up??? We had to explain a lot of things that day. ... 18.6k

HacksawJimDGN . 7y I'm in my 30s, I asked my 5 year old nephew what age he thought I was. Не said 15? ... 3k

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