25 of the Funniest Burns from the Week of January 8, 2024

As hard as he tried when he walked hard, John C. Reilly was unsuccessful in cutting the (mic) cord for needless musical biopics. In the 17 years since Walk Hard’s release, there have been a bevy of musical biopics that serve as glorified music videos instead of making valuable observations about its subjects. It’s such a widespread epidemic that it even reached the biggest stage in Hollywood in 2018 when Rami Malek won an Oscar for his toothless portrayal of Freddie Mercury in Bohemian Rhapsody. 

And it’s a trend that isn’t slowing down either. This week, Selena Gomez was tapped to portray trailblazing musician Linda Ronstadt in an upcoming biopic produced by the singer’s manager and the producer behind 2019’s Linda Ronstadt: The Sound of My Voice. Ronstadt, who won 11 Grammys during her career and was honored with a Lifetime Achievement Award by the Latin Recording Academy, became known for sultry vocals that combined a medley of genres for one unique sound. 

But when Gomez was announced in the role, a lot of people had a similar question: Who is going to be doing the singing? And, furthermore, who will be doing the acting?

Ouch. But while Gomez might now be singing the blues, she’s not the only digital burn victim this week. Other sick digs over the last seven days include those about a Hollywood nan out on the town, a woman with mayoral aspirations and a plate so white it asked to speak to the manager.