25 of the Funniest Tweets from Wednesday, January 10, 2024

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25 of the Funniest Tweets from Wednesday, January 10, 2024

Keep your local cinephile in your prayers. Yesterday’s whirlwind news that Tom Cruise was jumping off a burning helicopter from Paramount to Warner Bros. now seems like a distraction from some questionable logistical decisions the studio has once again madeMickey 17, Bong Joon-ho’s highly-anticipated sci-fi jaunt starring Robert Pattinson, was slated for a March premiere but has since been scrubbed from the WB release calendar. While Warner Bros. announced the move in a press release, they have yet to justify the decision. Optimistic fans are hopeful that Mickey 17’s delay is a sign that the film is a worthy award season contender and didn’t fall victim to David Zaslav’s tax write-off spree

On the flip side, the news of a big action movie’s release date being pushed up likely made waves in the most peculiar group chat imaginable (if it even exists). Ahead of his latest Netflix release, Kevin Hart claimed to be a part of a group chat with some of Hollywood’s hardest-working action stars. The roster starts with The Rock and Mark Wahlberg, whose presence in the chat is believable enough considering the two have worked with Hart previously. But things get a little questionable with the inclusion of Harrison Ford, Tom Cruise, Jackie Chan and Jet Li. Hart joked to People that it’s a “real secret chat” and that he could “get in trouble from the other action guys” for even disclosing its existence. 

Anyway, if you’re mourning the loss of Pattinson’s beautiful face on the big screen or scratching your head about Hart’s group chat, we’ve got some tweets to cheer you up. Today’s funniest ones include those about monster health benefits, the perfect pick-up (and delivery) line and the trending topics at your local grocery store. 

cheyene norah @onlyyagirl_ 22h ... I am a prisoner of my own mind but I will break out one day 19 4,160 20.4K 552K

AJ-hime @Ohayousoro. dd Pranay Pathole ... @PPathole Tech enthusiasts: My entire house is smart. Tech workers: The only piece of technology in my house is a printer and I keep a gun next to it so I can shoot it if it makes a noise I don't recognize. 9:51 PM Apr 12, 2019 Twitter for iPhone Johnie @Johnie. 1d Period Treffic Daily Traffic - 175.60 MD 3.00 CO WTF! Why is my LG Washing Machine using 3.6GB of data/day? Client Name LG Smart Laundry2 open Upload Downle adidas 84.00 - 90 10.7K 89.5K 2.4M

Rico Wens @papawldo.1 1d jeremy allen white - EDIC - time U KEEP 371 6,937 90.2K 2.8M

Mike Bong @WeirdBongs 21h ... please, just a crumb of representation people with bpd tv producers: you can have the alien ana the horse. 5 48 520 12.9K

dom nero @dominicknero . 1d ... the 2000s were so great bc every movie inexplicably had a game. imagine today watching The Holdovers, then loading up Holdovers: New England Smackdown on PS2 and it's actually Paul Giamatti doing the voice over and he's saying like You better not hold the X button to sprint!! 54 1,146 15K 625K

Matt Post @MattPostSaysHi 1d I thought they made Brian Cox a playable fighter and almost lost my fucking mind Wario64 @Wario64 - 1d TEKKEN 8 - Story so Far with Brian Cox youtube.com/ watch?v=wRIOVe... ENB TEKKEN8 THE STORY SO FAR 57 1.7K 24K del 1.1M

Chris Alsikkan @AlsikkanTV 22h ... tom cruise on the WB lot in like 20 years 19 422 8.8K 346K

clay @_claypot.1 18h ... paddington would warm ted's cold heart with kindness and marmalade THE The Hollywood Handle @HollywoodHan... . 1d Max Burkholder, who plays John Bennett in the 'TED' series, says Ted would win a fight with Paddington: I mean, Paddington is a physical bear, he got claws and teeth but Ted would like just shoot him with a gun. (Read: thehollywoodhandle.co/2024/tv-shows/...) 58 2.7K 43K 1.2M

@tourmalinecrack• 18h jupiter ... this is like trying to fix the baby's cough by feeding it hydrogen bombs ames meat puppet @amess_art.19h shows to watch if you want more queer rep like OFMD!! wanted to recommend some positive queer shows since OFMD is cancelled ANNE RICE INTERVIEW HANNIBAL WITH THE HAMPIRE BLACK THE TERROR SAILS 14K 34 1.8K 502K

Absolutely Hammered @ah_pod 3h ... ABSOLUTELY HAMMERED FIAU A3Y УТЯ el-8AE Not Matt @PanasonicDX4500 .3 3h a lot of people asking why there's so many dudes digging holes in the ground and not enough people asking why there's so much stuff down there? what's it doing down there? who put it there? are they hiding it... 2 63 479 40K

Mar1anne @SZSPIRIA 20h Me getting fired: waitttt this is just like Succession 24 1.8K 25K 629K

Stone Cold Jane Austen @AbbyHiggs . 1d When one door closes, another opens. - Boeing 93 2.6K 25K 1.2M

zetex @zetexkindasucks . 1d ... ???????????? Trending egg milk bread chicken breast onion zetex @zetexkindasucks - dd why does my grocery store app have a trending page 72 3.1K 45K 1M

Tóast @th3mb0fication 21h ... A Discovery has been made 5 10 259 3.9K del 90K

new jersey updates @doubtpointv2.17h gypsy rose's life is crazy imagine being a victim of abuse all your life and when you get out of jail suddenly gay people and weird girls are obsessed with you 3 36 1.1K 41K

nadia @chicnormal. 1 15h he looks easy to grab by the ankles and shake upside down. i can even bet he'd drop a lot of coins. FILM UPDATES Film Updates @FilmUpdates 16h Dominic Sessa at the Governors Awards OSCA C 21 330 9.5K 418K

... nicole boyce @nicolewboyce 23h girlfriend is having the most girlfriend day ever 20 10 AM 27 botox 11 AM 10:30 - 11:30am 3 10 12 PM pilates 12-1pm 1 PM 2PM 3 PM 4 PM therapy 5 PM 4:25 - 5:25pm 6 PM 7PM 1.8M 51K 4.4K 143

ronan @rxnanbell 1d years ago this would've got u on ellen gab II @SOFTBOLLEDEGG . dd My moisturizer came out in the perfect shape of a mouse today 61 7.5K 173K 3.8M

Jhonny @JhonnyWhite69.15h ... I know my cousin did not put this over the bed like a hamster bottle LOST MARY PINEAPPLE MANGO OS5000 167 2.4K 42K 1.5M

cait @taysrussell . 2 2 20h ... the two friends being meryl streep and martin short z. @crackgalore.20h LMFA000000 Comments For you selenagomez 3h Noooooo I told Taylor about two of my friends who hooked up. Not that that's 1.494 anyone business. 18 725 18K 1.2M

+° * o cece.* + @t0mbstneblues. 1d This is the butchest HBO can handle I'm crying 4F DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm 1d Kaitlyn Dever has officially been cast as Abby in 'THE LAST OF US' Season 2. 52 1.6K 36K 1.5M

Shannon Strucci @plentyofalcoves 12h No video editor barbie.... I see how it is........ no Barbie sitting at a workstation at 3 AM hunched over like a shrimp FILM UPDATES Film Updates @FilmUpdates 12h Barbie is launching a 'Women in Film' doll collection: Film Director Barbie Cinematographer Barbie Movie Star Barbie Studio Executive Barbie 47 1.7K 23K 1M

billie-rae @heybillierae 19h ... nectar of immortality ZÉRO SUGAR than SU tran BIIC Iron cut REDA sua ZERO o ERO SU ZERO su ZERR RUC ERO SU ERO SUGAR ZERO SU ZERN su IERO SU ZERO SUGAR ZERO su ZERO SUGAR ZERO SUG ZERO SUGAR ZERO SUGAR MONSTER M m NE R GY ZERO ULTRA MONSTER ENERGY MONSTER ZERO ULTRA ÉNERGY ZERO ULTRA NBC News @NBCNews 1d NBC NEWS Taurine, an amino acid found in meat and shelfish that's often used in energy drinks, may help with health aging, new research suggests. nbcnews.com/health/ aging/t... 118 4.7K 28K 1.3M

anna @keithsrocknroll. 1d ... he said honk shoo honk shoo memememememe ПРОПОК LIVE 2 115 2.5K 52K

Santi @_Santiiii__ 17h This would work on me Ron Amaya @juan_amayah - 6/2/23 53 miles away Today I can get you free pizza 3:43am I'm a manager at domino's 3:43am Say something... 134 4.8K 2M 41K

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