18 Hilariously Awkward Moments at the Urinal

‘Nice watch’
18 Hilariously Awkward Moments at the Urinal

Standing at the urinal really isn’t the place a guy wants to get complimented on his watch — or be told that he’s keeping incorrect time. What I’m saying is, basically all watch-related talk is off-limits when you find yourself before the porcelain pisser. And according to one Redditor, the urinal is also not the place to get into any kind of serious discussion about the Los Angeles Dodgers, because the other guy may forget that he’s actively pissing and turn toward you to add some, uh, emphasis to what he’s saying. Other guys chimed in with interactions they had while trying to take a leak as well, and some of their stories are so hilariously awkward that you’ll likely start holding your pee until you get home. 

brandonj022 . 131d I was at work and someone came up to the urinal next to me. Shortly after, he started yelling NONONONO AWW FUCK and he quickly walked into one of the stalls. While I was washing my hands, he came out with his underwear in his hands and he threw them in the trash. That's when I realized he shit himself while peeing. ... Reply 327
Agent17146 . 131d Not sure this qualifies because the other person was in a stall while I was at the urinal. But anyways, one day at work I go to the urinal and start pissing, a few moments later I hear the sound of a woman moaning followed by the dude in the stall exclaiming God Damnit while he dropped his phone on the floor with the porn still going. ... Reply 11.6k
No-Patient1365 . 131d I work in IT. Idiot strolls up to the urinal next to me and starts to aske about some ticket he had submitted. Fuck off, Ron. Neither the time nor the place. ... 3.3k Reply
ZippyTwoShoes . 131d Got pee on my feet and I was wearing sandles, worst part was I didn't start peeing yet... Reply 563
CalligrapherPitiful3 .1 131d Getting pissed on from behind because drunk ass mofo didn't realize the urinal was already being used. ... Reply 8.3k
chisthelbc. 131d some guy complimented my watch while I was holding my johnson. ... Reply 4k
Electricdad95 . 131d Guy told me my watch was off by 5 minutes. ... Reply 708
a_little_low . 131d I was on a road trip with three buddies going through Virginia when we decide to stop and take a piss at a rest stop. To our surprise the rest stop was extremely busy, I'm talking old dudes everywhere, gotta wait in line for the urinals kinda deal. It's silent in there except for people pissing and my buddy and I get urinals right next to each other. We start pissing and my buddy looks over at me and meets my eyes, and then loudly exclaims woah dude, nice cock. Needless to say you could hear a
TinyCamp7743 . 1 131d I was at a Rolling Stones concert and looked at the urinal next to me. There was a girl sitting on it taking a piss. She happily says Hello! to me and I just shrug and laughed. The line for the women's room was insanely long and I admired her gumption to take care of her business. ... Reply 3k
TheMaskedSandwich. 131d Old dude (like really old) fumbled his belt at the urinal and his pants dropped to the floor. Then he farted so nasty I swear he shat himself. ... Reply 5.6k
zachtheperson 131d Me and my friend drove across country once for a concert when we were 16. We were stuck outside waiting in line, and we were clearly the youngest people there by a good 5 years, so we were trying to act super mature in conversations and stuff. We went across the street to take a piss in a grocery store bathroom with a bunch of other concert goers, and some massive gangster looking motherfucker walks in (picture Thundercat mixed with Ving Rhames), goes Damn, gotta piss like a muthfuka, and when he gets up to the urinal next
Two-tune-Tom229 . 131d I was at the piss troffe at Tiger Stadium on a very cold night. I was trying to navigate my way through my layers of pants, long johns and underwear and I noticed the dude next to me kind of give me a weird look. I immediately said.. I found the neck I just don't know witch way to go to get to the head..... ... Reply 81
arcsolva 131d There was a public restroom in an old local theater that had rows of urinals mounted back to back on a knee wall that was only about 4 feet high. So as you stood there doing your business if you looked up, you'd be face to face with another guy doing the same thing. Weird. ... Reply 590
 131d At a minor league baseball game, a really drunk old dude stood right next to me at the trough, even though there was plenty of space, and started talking to me. Не asks me some question, forgets that he's midstream, and turns towards me to hear the answer. I realize what's happening just in time to jump back. For a horrible moment he was pissing parallel with the trough onto the floor, my stream was going under his into trough on the ground, and he's staring right at me with an inquisitive look waiting for me to answer
Pricklypicklepump.1 131d I was taking a piss. Some lads are arguing behind me. A scuffle breaks out. I'm trying to finish quickly and GTFO of there without pissing all over myself. Someone hits someone. I look down and that someone is laid unconscious at my feet. I finish up, step over sleeping guy while others are screaming and holding each other back. I leave, dry. ... Reply 393
EvolutionCreek 131d My old boss was peeing next to some random guy who came to our office. The lights in the bathroom flickered, and my boss said something like, It's hard enough to aim without the lights going off. The guy looked over at my boss and said, And you've got a short one, too. My boss was pissed off and insecure all day until he remembered that the urinals were at different heights and he was peeing in the short one. 988
No_Pear_2326 . 131d A lady came in to change her toddler's diaper because the line to the women's restroom was long. She was offended at anyone who even glanced in her direction and also seemed offended that the men in the stalls wouldn't stop pooping so loudly. And the longer she was there and the more angry glances and disapproving grunts she gave, the more the men in that packed bathroom kept awkwardly staring back. Finally, as she left, she mumbled loudly at how the Men's bathroom didn't have a couch to rest on, but she wouldn't want to stay
GREASE247 . 131d some dude comes up to the urinal right next to mine, even when the second one over was free. starts pissing with one hand on his meat, from about a foot away from the urinal, twig and berries on full display. leaning back too, not even remotely trying to shield himself from my view. i finish first and go to wash my hands while wide eyed at the sheer confidence of this guy, only for him to rip a dubious fart at full volume. not a word spoken the entire time, that guy couldn't give a shit. i left
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