33 of the Funniest Stories from Former Class Clowns

‘I stole a sink’
33 of the Funniest Stories from Former Class Clowns

You’d think nerdy future valedictorians would be more dedicated to perfecting their craft, but the truth is, no one commits to the bit like a class clown. They’re aware that the stakes are raised after each performance — they have to go harder, be crazier, get more laughs. Honestly, it sounds like a high-pressure position. The President of the United States doesn’t even know this level of stress. 

That being said, Redditors have been more than happy to share their best class-clown memories. Shoutout to the guy whose Chris Farley impression was so good he actually broke a wall.

Rappaccini 10y In college, my friends and I stole a bench to put on our porch. We were caught by campus safety as we neared our house, and after sternly reprimanding us and taking our information, they instructed us to lug the (very heavy) bench all the way back across campus to the place we had taken it from. We got stopped so many times walking it back that eventually one of the campus police officers put out an alert to not waste time stopping the guys moving a bench. We spent the rest of the day moving benches around
willy3806.7y During a class presentation he had his assistant turn off the lights. Не then put a flashlight under his head so only his face was illuminated. Не started saying things like prepare to be amazed, Science rules, and welcome to a world of wonder. Не then paused and said please observe what I do with this applesauce. The lights turned back on and he poured an entire jar of applesauce down his pants. This was a high school biology class. The teacher was in shock and I don't think I'll ever laugh that hard again. Just pure craziness ...
whats_the_deal22 10y A few of the other bad eggs in class and I would try to throw small paper balls into out history teacher's coffee cup because he always left it right on the front edge of the desk. We would generally wait for him to turn around and write on the board. We waited all year for someone to finally make a shot. One morning, we all prepared to launch our volley of small paper wads. I decided to make the ballsy move to stand up and make my shot, completely disregarding our normally stealthy nature. I put up
TheChocolateWarOf74 7y I would not even know where to begin in elementary school. I had a class full of clowns so I will skip to high school. We had a substitute teacher in Spanish one day, the new assistant PE coach. My friend gets my attention and asks me to hand him one of the erasers from the chalk board. I pass it over, he sticks it down the front of his jeans and positions it to stick out lengthwise. My friend is 6'9, just massive, and he now looks like he has a raging (rectangular) erection. Не walks up
KidCasey 10y When I was a freshman we had to go to an assembly for the senior class president and other positions. One of the dudes running for president was rumored to have an enormous penis, like a real life knee slapper. Anyway, everyone else running gave 10-15 minute speeches about how they'd improve the school blah blah blah. These were a big deal at my school and the speeches were always very carefully planned and thought out. People didn't try to be funny. So this kid gets up to the podium, looks around, leans close to the microphone and
ThemiThemi 10y Ok, not my detention story but one that I was involved in. Two people in this story, lets call them John and Rick I'm at johns house and while he's playing a game I find an old school spring alarm clock and start messing around with it. As he sees me, he immediately tells me to take that shit with me home because last time someone messed with it, the clock woke his family up at 4am. Same day, back at my house and I have other friends over. I notice that I still have an alarm clock
QueenDuvalBangEm . 7y This was my friends school, but this kid came to school dressed as The Flash and just ran around campus and through classrooms all day. Administrators were trying to catch him and after a security guard chased him down in the lunch courtyard he got sent to the principals office. As he was going into the office the kid who was leaving turned to the principal and said Dude, you can't punish The Flash! The principle must have agreed because he didn't get in any trouble. ... 1.1k
Chaz_Hanna . 10y Me and a friend bear crawled through a whole classroom during a video dragging Christmas lights we found in the back. In a moment of blazing glory we plugged them in. On the official write up we got busted for spreading Christmas cheer because our teacher was pretty cool.
CentrOfConchAndCoral . 7y In science class we had hot plates to heat up experiments. I kid you not this kid started making a grilled cheese on the hot plate. The teacher was like what's that noise/smell? She looks over to see this kid flipping his grilled cheese on the hot plate, it was sizzling and everything. She tells him to go to the dean's office, so he stands up takes a bite out of his sandwich and walks out ... 4k
Talyan e 10y Remember those red chewing pills dentists gave out to reveal dirt on your teeth? I sold them to the bad kids telling them they were a new kind of smart drug that made them hallucinate. I told them the first hallucination is usually mistaking your peers for vampires. They fell for it and ran around with red teeth for 3 days before someone asked them why the hell they were eating those things by the bucketload. Didn't get into detention, but got alot of exercise the following weeks. ... 1.1k
classicesco 10y My teacher was being interviewed on film about some new elective class she was teaching. She has a glass window in her office showing our printer room. As they are interviewing her, I go into the printer room with a sign that says my wiener is awesome with a pic of a penis drawn on it and hold up right behind her head. A couple weeks later they broadcast the video to the the entire school. I was suspended for a week but everyone thought I was awesome. The worst part was explaining it to my mom ...
Popey92 . . 7y Teacher had his lunchbox on his desk, this guy stripped down to his boxers and crawled underneath all the tables from the back of the class to the front and stole his lunchbox, started eating his food underneath the table. The teacher caught on to what was happening, looks under the table and just says 'what the FUCK are you doing?' The look on the kids face as he was caught with a banana in his mouth was just priceless. ... 206
rabidbitsoftime . 10y 7th grade: I sold pickle juice as Mountain Dew at the Friday bake sale thing a few of us kids were forced in to working. Like half a dozen kids bought some without realizing then I guess they all immediately told on me because I was in detention for a week shortly thereafter.
Sixstringkiing . 7y Pulled a pipe and some weed out and took a hit right in the middle of math class without the teacher finding out. The teacher didnt know what the smell was or where the smoke came from or who even did it so she just pretty much got mad at everybody for not paying attention and got back to teaching. She was completely oblivious. She obviously had never smelled weed before in her entire life. ... 994
kingsuffolk . 10y We had to design a business for an economics class. I designed an ice cream store called Two Scoops 1 Cup with the two girls one cup theme song playing during my presentation. Safe to say teachers could not figure out why the class was in tears until the faculty reviewed the video that my presentation was based on. ... 93
4000_Dollar_Suit 10y I recorded the sound of the electric pencil sharpener and sat nearby with the recorder in my backpack. I pressed play when people started using it and when they stopped the sound would just keep going very loudly and annoyingly. When the recording stopped I would rewind it and wait for the next victim. The whole class was amused and all the attention was on it. The teacher eventually unplugged it, but was very confused when the sound still kept going. Some goodie two shoes ratted me out. But it was awesome, totally worth it. ... 347
The_Dudes_Rug_ +7y Farted louder than I've ever heard in my life. I'm talking wall shaking, stomach rupturing, ripped open asshole loud. Wouldn't have been that big of a deal if he hadn't done it during the middle of our math final. Then as everyone turned to look his way I just happened to be the unlucky son of a bitch sitting behind him. Не pointed directly at me. Cue laughter from the entire hall of students and our solemn and usually grim teacher. Не may have been the one laughing the hardest if my memory serves me right. Fucker got me
badgerclaw 10y I was a completely wild child in middle school. I learned the locker combinations for every locker on my row over the course of the year, and one day near the end of class I left for the bathroom. I opened all the lockers in the row and planned on running down the hall and closing them all at once at high speed right as the bell rang for class change. Bell rings, I fly down the hall... BAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAM as all the lockers close and then right at the end this short kid with glasses on that I
Ghostlymagi 10y I grew up fat. Chris Farley fat. During my junior year of high school, I was working on my Farley impression and had it down. One day while walking in to our English room (there was a door, followed by a hall, then you came out in to the room), my friend's wanted me to do my Farley. So, I did and started acting like I was falling then proceeded to bounce between the hall walls, throwing my arms around and making noises. CRASH I fell through the wall. In to the Spanish room. The English class was
Avada_Cadavers . 7y I was in seventh grade Spanish class. The class clown in this scenario was a short, overweight boy named AJ (real name). Не and our teacher were never really on good terms, him being the class clown and hungry for attention. One day when she was turned around writing something on the board he tried to climb out the window. Our class was on the first floor. Не was half way out the window when she turned around and lost her shit. Man I loved public school. ... 168
Mobojo 10y Stole a sink. My old high school was having some remodeling done so it could become the elementary school, so most of the classrooms were going to have a sink in them. At the time a bunch of rooms had the big metal sink installed into the hole in the counter but not sealed to the counter yet. A friend and I went to talk to our French teacher after school and I got the bright idea to try to steal the sink that was behind her. I casually walked over while my friend was talking to her
FINISH_HIM_ 7y Most memorable to me, was when he took the blame for throwing a rubber at S teacher and knocking her toupee off. I didn't do it on purpose, I have a terrible aim and it happened so quick. She's going apeshit asking who did it, and he calmly stands up and says It was me, but keep your hair on, it was an accident. I was aiming for your glasses 3.9k ilsLegend 7y I'm assuming you're British, but this is a lot more entertaining imaging a condom instead of an eraser. ... 3.6k
wdwentz93 10y This was back in sophomore year of high school. My French teacher was this old high strung woman. Mind you, my class was full of clowns, so she hated us. She had our class make l'arc de triomphe out of refrigerator boxes for some festival (can't quite remember why it was made). Anyway one day I start scheming...the boxes were completely open at the bottom, so I convince my friend to hide inside it for a while. Me and another kid lift it up and he fits perfectly inside the box. We pull this off seconds before she
DoNotCallMeAngel 7y In 5th grade, he caught a cricket on the playground, then brought it to class, yelled for everyone to look at him, and then ate it ... 1.7k
midnightdonut . 10y Sneaked into the principle's office and ate all of the candy stashed in his desk. Punishment: Sent to the elementary school to spend a day in kindergarten. I was in grade 8. It was most excellent. ... 1.8k
Seanpkd30.7y Moron glued his mouth shut with gorilla glue for 10 bucks... Не didn't get paid. ... 1.4k
pumpkinspiceautobot +7y Built a functioning bong in art class during our clay unit. While the teacher admired his craftsmanship, he had to report it and couldn't let the guy take it home. ... 3.1k
Sushiome . 7y I remember in my 8th grade English class, there was this one kid who had a really bad stutter, like really bad. Turns out he didn't even have a stutter at all, he just started it as a joke and went with it for everyone of his classes the entire year. Only the teachers thought he had a stutter but all the students knew, we all kept it a secret. ... 1.2k
zsign . 7y Spray painted the words Stop Vandalism on the side of the school. ... 5.3k
. 1 10y Math Teacher: And using this we'll just be able to throw our calculators out the window and do without them. Me: Finally! throws calculator out window ... 2k
Sloane_Peterson . 7y Dressed up like the girl he hated for Halloween, complete with wig and glasses and his sister's school uniform. School called his parents to pick him up halfway through the day. ... 2.3k
AmyElizabethEpp . 10y I went to Catholic school and we each had to write on the board our name and what we were giving up for Lent. Most people wrote: soda, chocolate, tv, facebook, etc. I wrote My Virginity. Needless to say, Sister Helen was not amused. ... 2k
camsauce87 7y Ordered a pizza to the window of our math class and actually made the transaction through the window ... 592
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