33 of the Wildest, Funniest or Weirdest Things People Did in Their Sleep

One sleepwalker completely disassembled their phone
33 of the Wildest, Funniest or Weirdest Things People Did in Their Sleep

For some people, anything can happen once it’s lights out — just ask Roseanne Barr, who claimed that Ambien made her racist. Delusional comedians aside, plenty of sleepwalkers have gotten into some crazy situations they weren’t aware of. Whether it’s completely disassembling a phone, eating cat food or getting into a car and driving, these sleepy Redditors have wild stories about the things they did after hitting the hay.

Pour some ZzzQuil out for the woman who was told not to have keys, weapons or pills near her bed.

BunPuncherExtreme . 5y I went on a 5 minute rant about how much I hate Everybody Loves Raymond. ... 1k
Truthpaste62 . 5y I unplugged my alarm clock. That required me crawling under my bed and reaching up to the plug behind the headboard. ... 4.4k
not_a_gun . . 5y A couple weeks ago, I shook my roommate awake saying that I needed to find the man with the numbers. Не said it really freaked him out then I just went back to my bed and fell face first into it. ... 1.7k
k9centipede . 5y The first time my husband said he loved me, he was asleep. When he woke up I asked what he was dreaming about. Не said he was driving a tractor through his old high school. ... 2.2k
pumpkinpatch1234 . . 5y Apparently I sat straight up, turned to my roommate, and asked her, are you dead yet? and proceeded to fall straight back to sleep ... 2.1k
TheKatyisAwesome . 5y My husband started typing on my face I asked him what he was doing and he said, calculating insurance rate. Не didn't remember it in the morning. ... 475
 . 5y I work prep at a restaurant after an extended work week I started prepping chicken in my sleep. ... 852
nibbler42 . 5y Used to collect random things around my room and put them in bed with me. The weirdest one for me was when I woke up with my head at the foot of the bed snuggling my lamp though ... 3.1k
Pyrowulf_45 . 5y This was recounted to me by my girlfriend one morning when I was working night shifts: I got up out of bed and walked over to the dog's food bowl, then took a handful and started eating it. I then proceeded to walk back to the bedroom and said This popcorn tastes like shit, and got back into bed. ... 3.9k
fuckfuzzygrow - 5 5y Driving... I woke up driving my truck down a dirt road and the pot holes woke me up. I have done a lot of strange things while sleepwalking, but that was the craziest. ... 763
krodackful . 5y Me and my brothers (3) used to share a bedroom. One night I woke up to see two of my brothers also sitting up listening to my third brother rapping in his sleep. It was in Spanish, and none of it really made much sense, but it rhymed. ... 3.5k
 . 5y My college roommate told me I used to shout things like, 'Oh not tonight you dont!' if she would come back late and turn any lights on. She started getting ready for bed in the closet. ... 1k
 . 5y I used to sleep walk as a child, according to my mom I walked out of my room, opened the refrigerator and peed in it. ... 873
CandlePrincen . 5y Went and sat cross-legged in the hallway with my forehead pressed against the wall. My roommate came out in the dark and tripped over me which scared the shit out of both of us and made me scrape my face across the wall. ... 226
modestecdysiast. 5y Yelled rooster in Hungarian repeatedly. Scared the shit out of my fiance as we were only together a few weeks at the time 1.6k
WildStang . 5y My girlfriend will occasionally sleep text me due to some medication. The weirdest thing I remember is her saying she needs more potatoes to buy a shark. The sharks for sale could also predict the future. I never found out how many she needed. Also no red, they only accept russet. Edit: She saw the post, she reminded me that she could also get hypothetical cows. ... 2.6k
xXx_WaitingOnYou_xXx . 5 5y I collected all the red pieces from our display of potpourri in the living room. Only the red pieces. Put them on a platter like it was a snack, put it on my nightstand, and went back to bed. I guess it was a nice snack to wake up to in the morning... ... 1.4k
mrbojanglesXIV . . 5y During the first year of medical school we were taught how to perform a physical exam. One night, my then girlfriend woke up to me performing and commenting on a pretty comprehensive lower extremity exam. Passed the test. ... 463
Talrae . 5y I used to sleepwalk as a kid. I've eaten cat food and woken up with the worst taste in my mouth. Also according to my mom, I've gotten up and come out of my room, looked right at her and asked where my mom is. Apparently I still sleep talk a lot but I never have any recollections of what I was dreaming. I've also karate chopped my husband in the throat while half asleep because he was snoring. ... 1.9k
 P 5y The second night I spent sharing a bed with my husband, he sat bolt upright in bed in the middle of the night and said oh my god, why are there cans everywhere? The bed is full of canned goods! Under the blankets and stacked up. I didn't yet know about his sleep talking, so I was bewildered. Then he calmed down and laid back down next to me. Не grabbed both my boobs and said, I'm gonna need honey on my cereal. while squeezing them. Не then rolled over snoring and I wondered what the hell
C4PT14N . 5y I know, I know, it sounds like bullshit. I have actually managed to get up, walk to the kitchen, get out a single piece of bread, stick it in the toaster oven, take it out early and then proceed to eat it and go back to sleep. My dad watched the whole thing. ... 516
Jillian1116 . 5y I wrapped my arm around my husband and squeezed him really hard. Another time, I pushed him into a sitting position and dove off the bed behind his back. My sleep specialist told me not to own any guns or keep keys, pocket knives, or pills near my bed. : 2.8k
alesses 5y My husband woke up early for work one day and was trying to sneak out without waking me, and apparently right as he was about to exit the room, I popped up don't wake daddy style and yelled: ITS A ME! A MARIO! and immediately laid back down asleep. ... 246
 . . 5y Probably a tie between the time I completely disassembled my phone so my alarm would stop and scattered the pieces around the house, or the time I ate half a box of brownie mix powder. Just the powder though. ... 150
Presidentofthegays01 . 5y I used to get out of bed, walk to my hamster's cage, peel off the tape I had on for myself, take him out, and bring him back into my bed. I'd repeat this every night when on antibiotics. Poor thing is lucky I didn't crush him or drop him. ... 150
analysa5 . 5y Apparently i sleep talk all the time. Usually my boyfriend tells me how I say the occasional I can't wait to marry you or i love you etc. But one night apparently I turned to him and said I don't like cilantro (which is true) Не then asked why and i answered because it's too strong & when he proceeded to say but you're stronger, i replied of course i am And went right back to sleep. We laugh about it all the time now. ... 571
E_Chihuahuensis . 5y My friend sleepwalked every night. One evening we watched old ninja/kung fu movies and went to sleep in separate rooms. Woke up in the middle of the night to find him gone and the front door open. Had to wake up his parents (he was then renting their basement, which was a full apartment) and after fifteen minutes of searching in different locations we found him running around in a nearby park, fighting air. Не now sleeps with a small source of light and he apparently does not sleepwalk anymore (though we can't know for sure because
 . 5y I walked into my parents room searching frantically. They asked what I was doing and I told them I was looking for my sword. They then asked why I needed my sword and apparently my very snarky response was to brush my teeth!!
Sortolo 5y Me and my then gf were taking a nap. She was on the side of the bed with a wall I was on the outer end. She woke up to me saying no... no stop ice-cream. She was really confused and was about to wake me up when in my sleep I threw a punch missing inches from her head and hitting the wall. (there was a small dent afterwards) I explained that I was having a dream that where Ice-cream men were kidnapping her and I was fighting them off. She was used to me talking and
lunarspiral 5y My husband sleep talks. Не has said many things that are pretty funny, but my favorite was last week. Не was laying on his stomach and kind of looked towards me and said you can touch my butt, you know. He's also a big gamer so there are times he'll talk about something in a game and I'll kind of respond and start laughing, he gets really mad about me laughing, because whatever he's dreaming about is super serious lol. ... 5.6k
MrEdonkulation 5y Chronic sleepwalker here. For whatever reason, my unconscious self has this vendetta against me. I've woken up only to find that I had turned off all my alarms in my sleep before. Made me late for work more than once. When I was a kid, I would sleepwalk and piss on my belongings in the process. I woke up once in the act of urinating in my gigantic tub of Legos. One instance that I still have no answer for is the day I woke up with a huge, bloody gash in my right side. I went to
jjconstantine . . 5y I tried making a pizza on an electric stove. It had a black coil-shaped mark on it in the morning so I figured out what I had done. Lucky I didn't burn down my apartment building. ... 200
thetroublewithella в 5y On one of our first nights sleeping together, my boyfriend rolled over, snuggled up behind me, and seductively whispered: I support your business. Not realizing he was asleep, I asked what he meant. Не started rolling his hips against me and growled: I would buy all your merchandise. l'll never let him live it down. Sometimes I like to bring up the stock market when I talk dirty. ... 2.8k
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