14 Dad Jokes on Tombstones
Dying sucks. But death can be funny!
Still Spankin’ After All These Years
A tombstone in Nova Scotia reads:
ARTHUR SPANKS
HIS WIFE
KATHERINE
Mel Blanc
The voice behind Bugs Bunny and dozens of other classic cartoons left an apt goodbye:
“THAT’S ALL, FOLKS”
MEL BLANC
MAN OF 1000 VOICES
Oops, This One’s Actually Quite Poignant
HIV/AIDS activist Leonard Matlovich opted not to have his name on his tombstone, instead opting for this epitaph:
A GAY VIETNAM VETERAN
WHEN I WAS IN THE MILITARY
THEY GAVE ME A MEDAL FOR KILLING TWO MEN,
AND A DISCHARGE FOR LOVING ONE.
Merv Griffin
The TV host threw to a commercial thousands of times in his career. He switched it up a bit for his final sign-off:
I WILL NOT BE RIGHT BACK
AFTER THIS MESSAGE
How Did She Know?!?!
The headstone of Janet Marie Crowder Girolamo in Ponte Vedra Beach, Florida, has a message inscribed on a slim horizontal surface that can only be read from directly above:
IF YOU CAN READ THIS,
YOU ARE STANDING ON MY BOOBS
A Septuagenarian With a Sense of Humor (or Vengeance)
In Princeton, New Jersey, there’s a tombstone that reads:
WILLIAM H. HAHN JR.
1905 — 1980
I TOLD YOU I WAS SICK
A Famous Comedian May Have Borrowed That Joke
Irish comedian Spike Milligan is widely credited with inspiring Monty Python. He had long said that he wanted “I told you I was ill” on his tombstone, but when he died in 2002, the cemetery he was to be buried in didn’t like the joke. They reached a compromise, with the Gaelic translation: “Dúirt mé leat go raibh mé breoite.”
Eternal Fudge
Dr. Wade Andrews of Logan Utah so loved his wife’s fudge, he had her recipe chiseled onto his tombstone, headed by the inscription “KAY’S FUDGE.” Kay herself wasn’t even dead yet — Wade just wanted future generations to know the recipe that brought him so much happiness in life. The inscription ends with the subscript:
WHERE EVER SHE GOES,
THERE’S LAUGHTER
Starring In: Oblivion
Jack Lemmon was a wildly prolific actor, once labeled “the most successful tragi-comedian of his age.” So it feels appropriate that he should get top billing in the afterlife, with his tombstone reading:
JACK LEMMON
in
The Worst Part About Cemeteries: Everyone Moves In From out of Town
The shared gravestone of a married couple in Washington, D.C.’s Oak Hill Cemetery reads:
WE FINALLY FOUND
A PLACE TO PARK IN GEORGETOWN!
The Final Boss of Self-Deprecation
Rodney Dangerfield assumed that, wherever he ended up, he wouldn’t be welcome. His epitaph reads: “THERE GOES THE NEIGHBORHOOD.”
The Funniest Guy in Davenport, Iowa
Warren Wesley Berkenbile died in 1991 at the age of 70. Channeling his inner Dangerfield, he had this printed on his tombstone:
HERE LIES ONE OF THE FUNNIEST
MEN AROUND. IT’S FUNNY THAT
THEY LET ME LIVE SO LONG.
One Last Fart Joke
Actor, comedian and flatulence connoisseur Leslie Nielsen got in one last, permanent gag on his tombstone: “LET ‘ER RIP.”
Honestly, Man, We Appreciate It
John O. Yeast died in 1989, and was buried in Ruidoso Downs, New Mexico. He had this cheeky message engraved on his tombstone:
HERE LIES
JOHN
YEAST
PARDON ME
FOR NOT RISING
