The Funniest Quotes From the Staff of Springfield Elementary

The best public school punchlines in ‘Simpsons’ history as chosen by the fans
The Funniest Quotes From the Staff of Springfield Elementary

Too much is asked of America’s public school workers in general, but, in Springfield, the demands of the job requires them to have a wit that’s as quick as their reflexes.

With a couple notable exceptions, the children of the Simpsons universe aren’t particularly easy to wrangle — they’re loud, obnoxious, easily distracted and ugly, ugly, ugly. And, this particular crop that’s been clogging up the classrooms of Springfield Elementary for the last 34 years finds increasingly creative ways to wear at the patience of their pedagogues with each passing season. As underpaid, underappreciated public servants at a profoundly underfunded institution, the teachers, lunch lady, principal and Willie of Springfield Elementary still find a way to overachieve in the one-liner department, schooling us with some of the funniest lines in Simpsons history.

The Simpsons subreddit recently discussed which of the Springfield Elementary employees’ many punchlines have been their best. These are the top picks, starting with…

“Am I So Out of Touch? No! It’s the Children Who Are Wrong!” — Principal Skinner

“Nobody Likes Milhouse!” — Mr. Largo

“We Both Know These Children Have No Futures!” — Principal Skinner

“More Testicles Mean More Iron” — Lunchlady Doris

“Look at Me! Im Milhouse! Ive Tucked Me Shirt Into Me Underpants! Ive Got No Friends So I Confide in Willie!” — Willie

“He Was Fine. Go Home Ralph.” — Miss Hoover

“A Prayer in A Public School! God Has No Place Within These Walls!” — Super Nintendo Chalmers

“Two Independent Thought Alarms In One Day. The Students Are Overstimulated. Willie! Remove All The Colored Chalk From The Classrooms!” – Principal Skinner

“She’s Faking It” — Edna Krabappel

“Class After Class of Ugly, Ugly Children” — Super Nintendo Chalmers

Scroll down for the next article
Forgot Password?