42 Random Bits of Trivia That We Trapped in Your Brain Jar and Then Poked Breathing Holes in Your Skull

We’d like to start by apologizing for the fact that you actually have to read these facts. If the softies at the tippy-top of the organization let us saw your skull open and clap it up and down like a ring box, we’d be able to trap this whole list in your head with one hilarious Cookie Monster-esque chomp. 

The three dudes who complained of slight headaches in the trial phase ruined it for everyone. When you’re reading these one by one like a sucker, just know that we tried.