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39 History Facts That Made Us Scream at Our Computer

By:: Brian C. Miller; Cracked Writers

November 08, 2023

39 History Facts That Made Us Scream at Our Computer

Things may not feel so hot in the world, but the good news is, they’ve been pretty terrible for most of human existence. Wait, is that good news, or are we all just having a collective existential crisis now?

39

... TELL US NOW. USan Christopher F. would like to see American schools teach about the contributions of the other countries in WWII. Americans generally don't know or appreciate the sacrifices countries like France made, or the simple fact that Russia is why the Allies won. We just swooped in at the end and claimed a mostly undeserved win by committing a war crime. CRACKED.COM — Source: Tell Us Now: 14 History Facts We Should Have Learned In School

38

... TELL US NOW. Robert В. says, Slavery never ended in the United States. There's a loophole in the 13th Amendment. The amendment reads, Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction. CRACKED.COM — Source: Tell Us Now: 14 History Facts We Should Have Learned In School

37

... TELL US NOW. Matthew W. says, Many of the 'historical statues' of Confederate generals that people get upset about being taken down were not put up as a result of the Civil War but rather in response to the civil rights movement. The construction of Confederate monuments spiked during the 1900s when Jim Crow laws were enacted, and 1950s to 1960s, during the civil rights movement. CRACKED.COM — Source: Tell Us Now: 14 History Facts We Should Have Learned In School

36

DO YOU FIND CONDOMS UNCOMFORTABLE? TRY USING THIS. This 17th-century thing found in Sweden is the world's oldest known condom. It was made with pig intestines, and you had to wash it with milk between uses. You're lucky to have Trojans, man. CRACKED.COM — Source: 25 Details From History That Are Just So Gross

35

CRACKED COM TIGHTLACING DEFORMED WOMEN'S BODIES. Victorian and Edwardian ladies had their corsets laced awfully tight to achieve a thin waist. The effects included deformed ribcages, displaced internal organs, and difficulty breathing. — Source: 25 Details From History That Are Just So Gross

34

ROMANS WASHED THEIR MOUTHS WITH URINE. Romans didn't have Listerine, so they used human urine instead. The ammonia in pee does indeed have a cleaning and whitening effect on teeth. Portuguese piddle was considered the premium stuff. CRACKED.COM — Source: 25 Details From History That Are Just So Gross

33

CRACKED.COM PICTURED: 19TH- CENTURY DENTAL INSTRUMENTS. Not pictured: the nightmares caused by 19th-century dental instruments. The fact that you can't tell what most of these are for makes it worse, doesn't it it? — Source: 25 Details From History That Are Just So Gross

32

MENTAL ILLNESS WAS TREATED WITH WATER TORTURE. a Psychiatric patients in the 19th century were given a treatment called hydrotherapy. They were restrained and then plunged into cold water, or given a cold shower, to cool off their hot brains. CRACKED.COM — Source: 25 Details From History That Are Just So Gross

31

WIPING YOUR ASS USED TO BE A PAIN IN THE... YOU KNOW. You are lucky to have even single-ply paper. Historically, people have used such things as hay, wool, mussel shells, and corn cobs. Even in the 1930s, toilet paper without splinters was fancy. CRACKED.COM — Source: 25 Details From History That Are Just So Gross

30

PHOTOGRAPHING DEAD PEOPLE WAS COMMON. You can tell one of these people isn't alive, can't you? Postmortem photography was born soon after the camera was invented in the mid 19th century. Everyone wanted a photo-even of their recently dead relatives. CRACKED.COM — Source: 25 Details From History That Are Just So Gross

29

CRACKED.COM SOME PEOPLES GAVE THEMSELVES ALIEN SKULLS. Several cultures around the world deformed their own skulls, a process that usually began shortly after birth. The reasons aren't always clear- perhaps they just wanted to troll archaeologists? — Source: 25 Details From History That Are Just So Gross

28

ALCOHOL WAS POISONED DURING PROHIBITION. Back in the 1920s, industrial alcohol was poisoned to prevent bootleggers from using it. But bootleggers just hired chemists to remove the poisons (not always succesfully). An estimated 10,000 people died because of this. CRACKED.COM — Source: 25 Details From History That Are Just So Gross

27

THE OREGON was the adidas OSIDON Un CLASS TERRITORY IOWA 3GB North Rock Suberto CALIFORNIA Chimary For Comito Omaha Rock GREAT Laramir But Park tagent 1.200 - Coorthouse Rock Cauari BASIN Scotti Springs Bight Rone Chay Bluff NORMON TERA Cotoff CALIFIANAR IRAL Fort Beidger Part are S. Josephi Martings Sah Lake Kenrw CK REAL MISSOURI THE OREGON TRAIL SUCKED APT AS MUCH IN REALITY AS IN THE VIDEO GAME. It took settlers several months to make the trip from Missouri to Oregon. An estimated 5-10% died along the way-either of dysentery or other causes. CRACKED.COM — Source: 25 Details From History That Are Just So Gross

26

ONCE UPON A TIME, PLUCKING YOUR EYEBROWS WASN'T ENOUGH. During the 15th century, high- class ladies in northern Europe painfully plucked their hairlines to achieve an aristocratic high forehead. CRACKED.COM — Source: 25 Details From History That Are Just So Gross

25

... TELL US NOW. UNITED STATES OFAME WE TRUST IN GOD Nominated by Betsy V. It wasn't until the Cold War that paper money, stamps, and the pledge included Under God and In God We Trust. In response to McCarthyism, the pledge changed in 1953, and all paper bills didn't include In God We Trust until 1966. CRACKED.COM — Source: Tell Us Now: 14 History Facts We Should Have Learned In School

24

... TELL US NOW. Nominated by Ron C. One of the most celebrated military engagements in the US was a massacre. At Wounded Knee, the US military killed hundreds unarmed Lakota Sioux people, including women and children. The government awarded 20 Medals of Honor, the military highest honor, to those responsible. CRACKED.COM — Source: Tell Us Now: 14 History Facts We Should Have Learned In School

23

... TELL US NOW. Rhiannon J. tells us, People knew the Earth was round when Columbus set sail. People were aware the Earth was round from as early as 6th century BC...let's not forget Columbus sailed the ocean blue in 1492 AD. CRACKED.COM — Source: Tell Us Now: 14 History Facts We Should Have Learned In School

22

... TELL US NOW. Nominated by Rudy В. George Washington required the Continental Army to be immunized. In 1777, George Washington issued a mandate to require that soliders be immunized (a scientifically new development) against smallpox. Even though it wasn't popular among the soliders, there was no mass refusal. CRACKED.COM — Source: Tell Us Now: 14 History Facts We Should Have Learned In School

21

... TELL US NOW. Janice D. says, The United States has a history of eugenics, which lead to some of the policies used by the Nazis during WWII. The US sterilized populations of people deemed 'unfit', and a Supreme Court Justice declared 'three generations of imbeciles was enough.' (Buck v. Bell 1927) This ruling led to 70,000 forced sterilizations of people who were labeled as deaf, blind, diseased, poor, or feeble-minded (which could mean anything, including women who were 'overly' interested in sex.) CRACKED.COM — Source: Tell Us Now: 14 History Facts We Should Have Learned In School

20

... TELL US NOW. Nominated by Gary L. From 1492 to present day United States, an estimated 13 million Indigenous people were killed. CRACKED.COM — Source: Tell Us Now: 14 History Facts We Should Have Learned In School

19

... TELL US NOW. Nominated by Aaron J. In 1921, white people burned an affluent Black neighborhood (known as Black Wall Street) to the ground during the Tulsa Race Massacre. It is estimated 300 people died, 800 were injured, and 9,000 people became homeless. CRACKED.COM — Source: Tell Us Now: 14 History Facts We Should Have Learned In School

18

DOCTORS USED TO BLOW SMOKE UP YOUR ASS. It was already bad enough to fall into the Thames -but if you lived in the 18th century, you got a tobacco smoke enema afterwards, as it was believed that it would revive drowning victims. CRACKED.COM — Source: 25 Details From History That Are Just So Gross

17

BOYS WERE CASTRATED FOR PURELY ARTISTIC PÚRPOSES. Castrati were the rock stars of the 18th century-and they just needed to have their family jewels chopped OF off. Since women were banned from the stage, high singing ranges were achieved by castrating boys before their voices changed. CRACKED.COM — Source: 25 Details From History That Are Just So Gross

16

FLUSHING THE TOILET WAS A DISGUSTING BUSINESS. Before indoor plumbing, people would just empty their chamber pots through a window. You would be walking on poop all day-if you were lucky enough not to have it land on your head. CRACKED.COM — Source: 25 Details From History That Are Just So Gross

15

LOBOTOMIES WERE ONCE USED AS A CURE-ALL. Do you have frequent headaches? Are your children unruly? Ask your doctor if a lobotomy is right for you! In the 1940s, a 10-minute lobotomy was prescribed to fix anything that could conceivably be related to the brain. CRACKED.COM — Source: 25 Details From History That Are Just So Gross

14

MEDIEVAL WINTERS DIDN'T NEED ICE ZOMBIES TO BE AWFUL. Winter in Game of Thrones was worse than in real life, but not by much. For the common folk, winter meant huddling around whatever heat you could find in a dark, damp hovel, surrounded by farm animals, while hoping not to run out of stale food. CRACKED.COM — Source: 25 Details From History That Are Just So Gross

13

CRACKED.COM THE PAST WAS LOUSY WITH, UH, LICE. Being louse-free is a modern luxury. Historical remedies included mercury, dog fat, and other stuff as gross as the lice themselves. — Source: 25 Details From History That Are Just So Gross

12

A MAD DOCTOR COULD TURN YOU INTO A (HIGHLY VIRILE) GOAT-MAN. In the 1920s, Dr. John Brinkley became a sensation thanks to his cure for male impotence: goat testicle transplants. He'd give you a goat's nads, and presto! Your libido was back. (Have we mentioned that he wasn't a real doctor?) CRACKED.COM — Source: 25 Details From History That Are Just So Gross

11

... TELL US NOW. Nominated by Maryl C. Mount Rushmore was carved into the sacred Black Hills of the Lakota people. The land was confiscated by the government from the Lakota in 1877 when gold was found in the mountains, and they have yet to receive payment. Every president featured committed genocides against indigenous American people. CRACKED.COM — Source: Tell Us Now: 14 History Facts We Should Have Learned In School

10

... TELL US NOW. Melissa V. shares, The civilizations in the Americas, before Columbus, were not savages. They had cities, roads, libraries, complex means of production, advanced engineering. The Europeans (Spaniards, British, mainly) needed to paint themselves as the bringers of culture, so they told that there was only barbaric natives. CRACKED.COM — Source: Tell Us Now: 14 History Facts We Should Have Learned In School

9

... TELL US NOW. Jim M. shares, We are closer in time to Cleopatra than Cleopatra was to the construction of the Great Pyramids. Cleopatra lived around 69 to 30 ВС, while the Great Pyramids were constructed around 2550 to 2490 BC. CRACKED.COM — Source: Tell Us Now: 14 History Facts We Should Have Learned In School

8

... TELL US NOW. Nominated by Elizabeth M. Men and women in hunter-gatherer societies were equal. For most of human history (until the invention of agriculture) gender equality was the norm. CRACKED.COM — Source: Tell Us Now: 14 History Facts We Should Have Learned In School

7

17TH-CENTURY POLES WORE A COMPLETELY DISGUSTING HAIRSTYLE. A Polish plait is a gross, smelly mass of crusty, matted hair cemented together by pus, nits, and dirt-and many gave themselves one intentionally, as they thought it kept them healthy. CRACKED.COM — Source: 25 Details From History That Are Just So Gross

6

ANYONE USED TO BE ABLE TO SELL THEIR OWN MEDICINE. TERKEEWEEN OIL NERVE and BONE In the 19th century, many LINIMENT Relieves OE beast. One of the remedies yet discovered. entrepreneurial types Will relieve Headache, Rheumatism Selatica, Toothache, Neuralgia, Plearisy, Paine In Back marketed their own patent or Chest, Stiff, Joints, Sprains, Bruises, and stings from Poisonous Insects. medicines. These wonder Keep well corked and away from the fire For Colds, La Grippe elixirs contained such and Sore Throat win DOE Shake the bottle. Apply with things as opium, cocaine, the hand and rub thor- oughlr. For internal pains and colic. — Source: 25 Details From History That Are Just So Gross

5

CRACKED COM 19TH-CENTURY LONDON STANK TO HEAVEN. The city's sewage was dumped directly into the Thames in those days. In the summer of 1858, the stench became so bad that members of Parliament fled the Palace of Westminster. — Source: 25 Details From History That Are Just So Gross

4

GRAGKED COM PEOPLE POISONED THEMSELVES TO LOOK BEAUTIFUL. In the 18th century, lead-based makeup was used to achieve a fashionable deathly pallor-which often became permanent, as lead is highly toxic. Symptoms (other than death) include swollen eyes, blackened skin, hair loss, and insanity. — Source: 25 Details From History That Are Just So Gross

3

CRACKED.COM SWALLOWING LIVE GOLDFISH WAS POPULAR ONCE. Does sushi gross you out? How about eating a fish while it's still alive? A short-lived fad among college students in the 1930s was to dare each other to swallow as many goldfish as they could. — Source: 25 Details From History That Are Just So Gross

2

CRACKED.COM MUMMY-BASED PAINT WAS POPULAR AMONG EUROPEAN ARTISTS. Mummy brown was a rich brown pigment made with pitch, myrrh, and, uh, ground-up Egyptian mummies. The manufacturers stopped making it when they ran out of mummies in the 1960s. — Source: 25 Details From History That Are Just So Gross

1

CHINESE WOMEN'S FEET WERE INTENTIONALLY MANGLED. For a thousand years, many Chinese women had their feet tightly (and excruciatingly) bound from an early age, as small feet were seen as a sign of beauty and refinement. The practice was banned in 1912. CRACKED.COM — Source: 25 Details From History That Are Just So Gross

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