35 Hilarious Tweets from Emo Philips

‘Now that we can eat bat again I no longer wish to’
35 Hilarious Tweets from Emo Philips
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Since the late 1970s, Emo Philips has been one of the most unique voices in comedy — and if you’ve heard his voice, you know I mean that quite literally. You may have heard him on animated shows like Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist or Adult Swim’s Home Movies or seen him in movies like Weird: The Al Yankovic Story. His singular delivery is memorable, but he’s also a hell of a joke writer, which he’s demonstrated for years on Twitter.

Pinned Emo Philips @EmoPhilips Mar 31, 2016 ... I like Twitter because it combines my two favorite forms of communication: texting, and throwing a note in a bottle out into the sea. 181 5.7K 19K
Emo Philips @EmoPhilips 11h s ... medieval walnuts were huge BY MORTAL HAND @bymortalhand 2 11h A carved walnut door from 1486 I'm speechless
Emo Philips @EmoPhilips Sep 6 G ... yes except for tax preparation PROTECT ALL WILDLIFE @Protect_Widlife - Sep 6 Do you trust dogs more than humans? Please answer YES or NO. My trust'in people is 40% My trust in dogs is 100%
Emo Philips @EmoPhilips Aug 19 ... you can fly for free if you're invisible Fact @Fact. Aug 19 Would you rather have the ability to fly or be invisible? 56 213 1.8K 102K
Emo Philips @EmoPhilips Aug 8 0 ... because it's afraid to enter the workforce Science girl @gunsnrosesgirl3 . Aug 8 Why a circle has 360 degrees 2:14 71 221 2.3K 366K
Emo Philips @EmoPhilips Jul 28 0 ... trust me, it works both ways Dr Pooja Garg @poojagarg1111 . . Jul 28 Crows can hold a grudge against a human for up to 17 years. Seventeen years! That's nearly two decades of memory of remembering a face, a voice, ... 63 213 2.2K 89K
Emo Philips @EmoPhilips . _ Jul 25 ... someone with a gun saying roll your eyes or I'll shoot you Science girl @gunsnrosesgirl3.Jul. 25 What makes you roll your eyes everytime you hear it 18 60 729 29K
Emo Philips @EmoPhilips . Jul 17 ... 2034 calendars Science girl @gunsnrosesgirl3.Jul 17 What's something that will become obsolete 10 years from now 28 125 1.4K 56K
Emo Philips @EmoPhilips Jul 8 ... according to the crocodile @ShouldHaveAnima Jun 18 Beauty Of Nature Elephant kicking dirt at a Nile Crocodile for absolutely no reason 0:05 63 175 1.7K 62K
Emo Philips @EmoPhilips Jun 26 ... strangling assassins with a phone cord Science girl @gunsnrosesgirl3 - Jun 26 those born before 2000, what's a small or once-common skill you have that hardly anyone uses today 171 662 7.4K 551K
Emo Philips @EmoPhilips . Jun 20 ... for me it was algebra History Photographed @HistoryInPics Jun 20 Those who do not learn history are doomed to repeat it. - George Santayana 53 291 2.2K 79K
Emo Philips @EmoPhilips . Jun 10 ... same Caroline the Utah Socialite @CarolinePaule Apr 18, 2015 My curse is I can do a perfect Emo Phillips impression but no one in my life understands or cares 66 207 2.7K del 90K
Emo Philips @EmoPhilips . Jun 6 ... Dear Flight Attendants, If you don't have eggnog, just say so; there's no need to give me that look 50 284 3K del 175K
Emo Philips @EmoPhilips . May 28 ... hide Science girl @gunsnrosesgirl3 - May 28 Everything is legal for five minutes. What would you do 23 118 1K 67K الله
Emo Philips @EmoPhilips May 20 O ... Not a mile per hour above the speed limit @HoopMixOnly May 18 Hoops You just left the airport and realize you grabbed the wrong bag, what you doing? DE oz 20 20 ... 77 248 3.3K 88K
Emo Philips reposted Emo Philips @EmoPhilips Apr 4, 2019 ... You say that now. WHAT in F What The F*** Facts ACTS @WhatTheFFacts - Apr - 4, 2019 Philosophical presentism is the view that neither the future nor the past exist, only the present. 58 763 4K
Emo Philips @EmoPhilips Mar 14 G ... it's impossible to overstate the importance of this discovery to the field of punning Curiosity @MAstronomers Mar 13 Today marks 244 years since Uranus was discovered by William Herschel. 37 133 1K 40K
Emo Philips reposted Emo Philips @EmoPhilips Feb 21, 2020 ... now THAT'S a ted talk Guardian Science @guardianscience . Jan 15, 2017 Killer whales explain the mystery of the menopause d.gu.com/N6YpLC 63 1.1K 6.1K
t7 Emo Philips reposted Emo Philips @EmoPhilips Dec 28, 2013 G ... If Donald Duck had been an architect. 30 284 847
Emo Philips @EmoPhilips Oct 28, 2024 G ... more work, but you can taste the difference Physics In History @PhysInHistory Sep 21, 2024 If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe. - Carl Sagan 70 396 2.7K 204K
Emo Philips G ... @EmoPhilips Oct 14, 2024 they'll never respond if we take that needy tone Space 8K @uhd2020 Oct 7, 2024 Are we alone in the universe? 108 492 4.6K 462K
Emo Philips @EmoPhilips Oct 6, 2024 G ... if he's such a genius how come he wound up with the middle seat Historic Vids @historyinmemes Oct 6, 2024 Albert Einstein right before the famous photo with his tongue out, 1951 1 45 181 1.8K 108K
Emo Philips @EmoPhilips Oct 5, 2024 G ... how are our pet dodos doing Curiosity @MAstronomers Oct 5, 2024 What would be the scariest message humanity could receive from outer space? What would be the scariest message humanity could receive from outer space? PHYSICS-ASTRONIMIRCOM 82 437 2.9K del 222K
Emo Philips @EmoPhilips Sep 4, 2024 ... its parents were murdered by a stegosaurus SF BBC Science Focus Magazine @sciencefocus Sep 3, 2024 The asteroid that killed the dinosaurs had a very strange origin, scientists find sciencefocus.com/news/dinosaur-... 30 159 1.2K 105K
Emo Philips @EmoPhilips . Sep 1, 2024 ... not far I bet F What The F*** Facts FACTS @WhatTheFFacts - Apr: 23, 2019 Whales walked on land about 47 million years ago. 56 265 2.7K 169K
Emo Philips @EmoPhilips Aug 22, 2024 G ... I can read quotes like this all day long Daily Stoic @dailystoic Aug 22, 2024 It's not that we have a short time, but that we waste of a lot of it. - Seneca It's not that we have a short time to live, but that we waste a lot of it. SENECA @dailystoie 36 216 1.9K 242K
Emo Philips @EmoPhilips Aug 14, 2024 ... Now that we can eat bat again I no longer wish to 72 222 1.9K 109K
Emo Philips @EmoPhilips.Jun 24, 2024 ... a thank-you card AlphaFox @Alphafox78.J Jun 23, 2024 If someone handed you $5M right now, what would be the first thing you would buy? 20 163 2K 91K
Emo Philips @EmoPhilips May 18, 2024 G ... thanks for giving away my children's book plot @AMAZINGNATURE May 18, 2024 Nature is Amazing с King cobra bites python. Python constricts cobra. Cobra gets crushed to death. Python dies from the cobra's venom. 52 213 1.7K 135K
Emo Philips @EmoPhilips Mar 3, 2024 ... new year's resolution: to work on my timing 36 289 2.2K del 120K
Emo Philips @EmoPhilips Oct 16, 2022 ... no one can survive a department store on top of them Guardian Science @guardianscience - Oct 11, 2022 Hundreds of skeletons found beneath former department store in Pembrokeshire theguardian.com/science/2022/o... 75 431 3.2K
Emo Philips @EmoPhilips Dec 23, 2021 ... so sad that it died while on vacation New Sources New Scientist @newscientist Dec 23, 2021 Fossil of the largest millipede that ever lived found on English beach bit.ly/3stdokZ 41 166 2K
Emo Philips @EmoPhilips Oct 15, 2021 ... this is very bad news for robot letter carriers - The War Zone @thewarzonewire Oct 12, 2021 Robot dogs can now have 6.5mm assault rifles mounted on their backs: thedrive.com/the-war-zone/4... 13 149 1.1K
Emo Philips @EmoPhilips Jul 2, 2021 G ... but can it love New Scorein New Scientist @newscientist Jul 2, 2021 Mini-heart grown in the lab can pump fluid just like the real thing bit.ly/3AlxAqB 100 587 6.2K
Emo Philips @EmoPhilips Jul 1, 2021 G ... well now there's a coincidence Science New New Scientist @newscientist Jul 1, 2021 Iceland may be part of a submerged continent called Icelandia bit.ly/3jxeR5q 19 157 1.8K

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