41 of the Funniest Tweets from the Week of September 29, 2025

He should’ve kept that to himself
41 of the Funniest Tweets from the Week of September 29, 2025

This past week, several comedians lost legions of fans in one fell swoop.

The Riyadh Comedy Festival kicked off in Saudi Arabia, where Dave Chappelle, Bill Burr, Chris DiStefano and others performed for the country’s royal family. Chappelle’s descent from grace has been steady for some time, but fans were shocked at the rest of the entertainers in attendance.

Notorious billionaire hater Bill Burr not only performed, but praised the country on his podcast by saying it was a “top three experience,” while DiStefano said he “wants to become a Saudi citizen.”

In response, fans are now calling for a blanket boycott of all the Riyadh comics. A post on r/Comedy rakes the performers over the coals, concluding with a suggestion that fans ensure they are “swept away in the dustbin of history for being hypocritical, anti-free speech scumbag comedians.”

Over on Twitter, no one is taking blood money in exchange for hilarious tweets. The funniest posts from this week included those about ugly boyfriends, millipede love and the best thing about strip malls.

S ... BUJU @sham_exe Sep 28 some guy at the gym was talking to himself between sets to motivate himself and at one point he angrily blurted out REMEMBER WHAT SHE DID TO YOU 793 12K du 3.9M 254K
Jared @b1g_damage Sep 28 ... We really do need a separate grocery store for people who've been on earth before 156 7.8K 134K 2.3M
Hustlanani @hustlanani Sep 28 S ... What needs to be done @healedbtch Sep 27 What do y'all do for a living? 71 14K 55K del 1.7M
The Feds @Sophia_Loren89.sep 28 G ... Raphel de la Ghetto @ilovesmick Feb 11 All these white people mad about Kendrick Lamar's Super Bowl performance... I hope next year they get Bad Bunny performing the whole set in Spanish. 35K 448K del 8.3M
Ricky Hollywood @victim_burn77. Sep 28 ... My dad pronounces marvel like an old black guys name 464 4K 122K del 6.1M
dustin Couch @Dustinkcouch Sep 28 s ... does anyone have advice for being more assertive in situations like this? Today 12:05 AM Hey this is Jake from doordash I'm on my way i didn't order anything from doordash I didn't say you did? you're right i'm sorry Read 12:11AM No worries be there in 5 Let me in 656K 61 39K 1.5K
valeria @mamasorchard Sep 28 ... girl i'm bored let's go eat the recommended intake of fiber 64 6.3K 79K del 1M
emerson borakove @EmersonsBorako1 - Sep 28 ... Photos are cool cause they are like now but for later 21 3.3K 39K del 979K
s ... HorrorMamaAl @horrormamaal - Sep 30 Might I interest you in a grilled cheese on a granny plate in these trying times? 605 2.2K 31K 485K
maddi @cowgirlkill - Sep 30 S ... if you have to eat her box then do it there's a whole different world out there that i am not part of Brent Fent Venables @FentVenables Sep 28 Huge shoutout to the Box munching gentlemen of OU Kappa Alpha Order. #expand 12:09 The o D Liam is nearby now ALEX M SAVED VIDEO FROM PETER HORACEK Luis Ferrari و Add I swear to fucking God y'all got me pissed the fuck off with all the shit I've read about us on yikyak girls gc. They are saying they fucking like phi delt man more bc
baber @bakerbakerbaker Sep 30 S ... librarian complimented the book i was checking out 65 1.5K 45K del 9.9M
Tree Presley @premiles_ Sep 30 ... Awesome comment from a picture of me at my cousins wedding view more comments You were one the most punk dudes I ever met. Glad ... you moved on but still miss who you were 5d Like Reply 11 91 10K del 184K
S ... cav empty @cavempty_ Sep 30 spam texts getting too good yes i am down 12:00 51 6 +1 (213) 791-9292 > iMessage Today 11:46 Yo, you down for some grilled cod tomorrow night? If you did not expect this message from an unknown sender, it may be spam. Report Spam 656K 55 2.1K 51K
hope @deardochas . Sep 30 S ... #Liked @Spadiddle. Sep 29 Thinking about how male millipedes court females by rubbing their back and singing that calms the female 1.4K 17K del 417K
Christin @hexprax.Sep 30 ... A bald husband does add an air of intrigue to a woman 67 1.6K 23K del 2.3M
@Feldfrog Sep 30 Benny Feldman ... I love that strip malls often have karate schools. Driving to the store to purchase ancient wisdom 8 524 16K 141K
S Criminalsimpsons @Criminalsimpson Sep 29 ... DRINK Duf IN THEATERS 07 23.2027 HEY, EVERYBODY, ANOTHER SIMPSONS MOVIE (MUTTERING) 48 548 8.5K del 212K
s ... meg Yooper bitchell @MeganBitchell Sep 28 Life is amazing I can't believe I'm 25 and just found out I like to draw 313 9.6K 156K del 1.4M
BLEHH of Barry klemper twt SAW MCR... @brain_dedbl... Sep 28 s ... How has bobs burger been around for 300 years bro BOB'S BURGERS Bob's Burgers @BobsBurgersFOX Sep 28 FOR We made it to 300! What better way to celebrate than a #BobsBurgers themed cake BOB'S BURGERS 300 0:12 174 5.9K 149K 4.2M
Stavros Halkias @stavvybaby Sep 29 S ... got locked out of my old letterboxd account so I made a new one. This movie was so fucking good < stavvybaby2 Review stavvybaby2 ONE BATTLE One Battle After Another 2025 AFTER ANOTHER Watched Sep 29, 2025 Star Wars but the jedis are hot black girls 1K 103 35K del 1.8K
O ... @bitchwife420. Oct 1 pasta salad How it feels to use the word behooves 54 288K 1.8K 20K
meteor s ... @meteormorning Oct 1 She looks like she's about to pull out a gigantic hammer and chase her blue boyfriend with it t+ @galaxiispice Sep 30 ICE SPICE IS so UNSERIOUS FOR THIS 90 6K 99K del 2.5M
Dr Fi Bowler (fibowler.bsky.social) @FionaBowler Oct 1 s ... When you look out of the window and see your indoor cat... outdoors 411 15K 120 del 117K
ni @ethojoshi Sep 30 D... Birdman @grian Been really into clit as of late 12:15 PM 01 Oct 25 @dalittlewood 1m martyn Replying to @grian i know ur gayass is lying 1 Birdman @grian . 1m Replying to @dalittlewood Name one classic literature book martyn 1 @dalittlewood 14s martyn Replying to @grian WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU SHORTENING CLASSIC LITERATURE AS CLIT 20 7.4K 119K del 1.3M
Outlaw. @wholelif3 Oct 1 s ... Too real joor SUGA OFFEE 93 comments Tshepi Is it for losing weight or gaining 2022-5-8 Reply 1 PTI Meals by Siya Foodfluencer Creator Meats by Sya I made it purely for enjoyment 2022-5-10 Reply 11 View 1 replyv 121 15K 411K 3.7M
SENI @zalatwicc Oct 1 s ... I need a couple of y'alls ugly Ass boyfriends to sit on my porch for Halloween 17 3K 18K to 254K
very baller cash money normal sane per... @normal_ball... Oct 1 s ... magician that threatens suicide when he gets the card wrong 34 3K 25K del 336K
Emma Szewczak @EmmaSzewczak. Oct 1 S ... Andrew Nadeau @TheAndrewNadeau  ME: WIFE: ME: WIFE: ME: WIFE: Lot of deaths for a to- ME: A LOT of deaths for a tour! Pookie @PookiesParadise Sep 28 is there a specific post that you still think about 18 79K 3.4K del 2M
cc s ... @tastelikeccandy Oct 1 I just fell in public a couple weeks ago and then someone I know dm'd me like I saw u fall ok bro dave @davepiojos Sep 30 just fell at the gym 0:02 5.6K 139 200K del 3.7M
soup @s0upworld Oct 1 ... can i have a nice boyfriend who lives in my city and brushes his teeth. Please 108 584 11K 245K
Big Choctaw @Derekalexander_. Sep 30 ... u never realize how long a minute is until u exercising 854 26K 223K del 3.6M
lexi G ... ± @umbralexi Sep 30 what if batman took this picture with every single robin to celebrate their bird heritage + 846.5K 2,529 64.1K 273.7K 144 8.4K 180K del 3.7M
Neb @NebsGoodTakes Oct 1 s ... how come CNN CNN 0:54 China's record-breaking glass bridge closes 2.3K 117K 175 del 27K
seri 6 @serimisuu Sep 30 ... im trying to find a tweet and i just sound like a pervert i do not goon i touch myself Videos Photos Latest Top People 100 4.4K 156K del 2.4M
s pixie @hardcandyIaw. Sep 30 ... AUF BORN GIF frankie @rat4rent Sep 30 insane transmasc energy in that mouse from the pitt 24 3.8K 70K del 1M
e-mail @GRUGCEL Oct 1 ... it's get a girlfriend october e-mail @GRUGCEL Sep 1 it's get a girlfriend september 525 14K 187K dJ 3.7M
s ... grace @agneswickfields Sep 30 when a professor says you have to use ai for an assignment You recently said that you would burn the building down 46 130K 7.7K 1.4M
S iya @hotmessjunk Sep 30 ... Bathtubs do not usually have this The Eras Tour @tswifterastour - Sep 30 'The Life of a Showgirl' Spotify Experience has a bathtub with flowers growing out of it! Bathtubs do not usually have this #TSTheLifeofaShowgirl T.S. LIFE OF A SHOWO TAYLOR S 24 968 38K 791K
S ... @vamptact. Sep 30 Elus Some of the most evil men you know be chilling at home like this 39 2.9K 40K 488K
Stephen Ford @StephenSeanFord • Sep 30 ... me and bro walking into the theater after putting butter on our popcorn 90 4.7K 64K del 1.3M
Daniel @dadogeking Sep 30 s ... Maybe january and february and march and april and may and june and july and august and september werent my months but october will surely be better!!!! HOPE 150 26K 187K del 2.4M

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