25 Jokes and Quotes to Scream Into the Void

Is anybody out there? If you are, we got some sweet zingers for ya!
25 Jokes and Quotes to Scream Into the Void
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Knock knock! 

Did anybody out there hear us? We said knock knock! 

What good is a knock-knock joke if no one’s there to reply with an enthusiastic, “Who’s there?” We’ve been sitting in silence so long now that we’ll even take an indifferent, eye-rolling, “Who's there?”

Come on! Anyone? K, fine. Maybe you’re more of a reader than a replier. Even though you left us hanging, we hope you enjoy these anyway.

JustinianTheWrong 10y ago e Ancient astronomers attempted to measure the exact time between sunrises. After 24 hours they gave up and called it a day. 46 ...
bacon_flavored e 10y ago 0 It's difficult to explain puns to kleptomaniacs. They always take things literally. 42 ...
buckrussell 10y ago - Did you hear the one about the constipated mathematician? Не worked it out with a pencil. 42 ...
Banaboy 10y ago Edited 10y ago My grandad has the heart of a lion and a life time ban from the Edinburgh zoo.
derjames 10y ago What's is the difference between ignorance and negligence? I don't know and I don't care. 82 ...
imuptothetask 10y ago Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.
RoadieRich 10y ago Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
10y ago What do you call a can opener that doesn't work? A cant opener
611925 10y ago Edited 10y ago A plateau is the highest form of flattery
addys 2y ago I knew someone who decided to see how long he could go without breathing- and he held his breath for the rest of his life ! 63 Reply ...
Harasoluka 12y ago Knock knock who's there? Oink oink oink oink who? Are you a pig or an owl? - 146 Award Share ...
SHIT_DOWN_MY_PEEHOLE . 10y ago e Did you hear about the goldfish that went bankrupt? Now he's a bronzefish. 86 ...
alyssanotlyss . 10y ago Why do sharks swim in salt water? Because pepper water makes them sneeze. 324 ...
minodude 10y ago I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him run faster. If anything, it made him more sluggish. + 4.5K ...
ankensam 10y ago How many Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, they're efficient and not very funny. + 2.9K ...
WeenisWrinkle 12y ago Did you hear about the restaurant on the Moon? Great food, but no atmosphere 165 ...
maumeeriverrat . 12y ago o What did the shy pebble say? I wish I was a little boulder. 743 ...
TheMuthaFlippin 12y ago I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. Не just stands there applauding and saying Ooh, I love how smooth it is. + 2.4K ...
Merlaak 0 13y ago e I was going to tell a joke about Jonestown, but the punchline is too long. 599 ...
jelliefish 13y ago My friend told me I don't understand irony... ...which was ironic because I was standing at a bus stop at the time. + 1.1K ...
rincewind4x2 6y ago e A dyslexic man walks into a bra His wife's laundry was hanging out and he wasn't paying attention. Admittedly the mans dyslexia played little role in this event. 9.8K ...
SpookeyStairs 11y ago A Buddhist monk approaches a hotdog stand and says make me one with everything. + 2.7K ...
MarshMallo15 9mo ago A Mexican magician tells his audience for his last trick he will make himself disappear! Не starts uno, dos ... poof ... he disappears without a tres 130 ...
eperker 10y ago Doctor says to his patient, you'll have to have to stop masturbating. Why, asks the guy. Because I'm trying to examine you.
Randy_Bobandy 10y ago A soldier survived mustard gas in battle, and then pepper spray by the police. He's now a seasoned veteran.

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