35 of the Funniest Tweets from Friday, September 5, 2025

‘I see why grandmas used to cook dinner at 3 p.m. & sit down the rest of the day’
35 of the Funniest Tweets from Friday, September 5, 2025

Danny DeVito wants to travel from Paddy’s Pub to Gotham City.

The It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia star revealed that he talks to Batman Returns director Tim Burton “all the time” about reprising his role of the Penguin. “Oswald (Cobblepot) is one of the most operatic and greatest parts I’ve ever been offered to do,” DeVito shared. “If there were ever a chance to do it again, I’d do it.”

Colin Hanks is also reflecting on a beloved ‘90s icon: comedian John Candy. Hanks, whose new documentary, John Candy: I Like Me, premiered at the Toronto International Film Festival this week, recalled the “horrible” and “insensitive” ways reporters often spoke about the late star’s weight. “It’s tough to see how uncomfortable John was in almost every clip,” Hanks said. “Some of the things that people said were disgusting and would not be tolerated today.” 

Hanks is right. The world has changed quite a bit since the ‘90s. Not only does the media largely treat celebrities with more respect, but some of today’s best jokes now originate from Twitter. Today’s funniest tweets include those about the Ticklemaster, a blueberry lunch and voicemails from The Joker.

Enderman @Enderman 22h ... Lets goooooo my airpods are done charging 100% 100% 100% 100% Batteries 78 639 21K 453K
... G gerf @achingkneejoint - 1 18h Bervillo they never expect da kitchen bluray drawer RANT IMMIC NGT HERO 1 SAIL, LAESANI - LESTERANT GoodFrida 4 BABADOOK PER GO + GINGONEBABYGONE M I 188 391K THE GAME M ROUND SLAS VEGAS of DUCATION DE THE FAVOURITE N M ! SOOD Za FANTASTIC PO Amilia th is I FACE/OFF ALIEN H NEW YORK M IS - edward SOSSORHANDS PO 20K 5 DRUNKEN MASTER NOR 953 27
dai malewife enjoyer @o... 1d G ... spending 10 dollars on lunch vs spending 50 dollars on a tiny plushie 76 18K 113K 1.4M
nico 8 @butchagatha_.1d ... How it feels to have a crush before u tell any of ur friends about it GIF ALT 7 1K 12K 122K
Brooke Lin @Brooke_Lin1-7 7h USPS tracking: Step 1: we don't think it exists Step 2: delivered 23 676 14K 203K
Rutherford Bitch Hayes @B... .9h s ... I thought they were gay and this was a hookup Alpha Brotherhood @alp... 1d Modern men are apologizing their way into celibacy.  Sorry, I was my place 9pm wondering if maybe... Read 9:01pm W E R T Y U - I o P Q A S D F G H L Z X 3 123 350 9.8K 218K 3M
@northstardoll.21h G ... When I don't have an Instagram story up that is me moving in silence 2 2.6K 15K 247K
G ... VectorStock VectorStock VectorStock VectorStock eric63 amg biturbo 4matic 11h me to every cybertruck i see on the road VectorStock VectorStock VectorStock VectorStock VectorStock 138K VectorStock VectorStock VectorStock 12K 1.1K VectorStock 17
@tr... 1d s ... greg house apologist they're releasing together? oh, I'm sure DF @Discuss... .1d DiscussingFilm The sequels to 'THE BATMAN' and 'SUPERMAN' will both release in 2027. See what other movies just got release dates: bit.ly/Dates2025 63 7.4K 86K 1.6M
josef k hole @poeticdweller.1d s ... what if i'm autistic and my special interest is drinking alcohol 47K 166 4.2K 901K
Robin / Fivda @Fivda_ 7h ... FORGOT I HAD MY VPN IN JAPAN FOR A SEC 7 K Kر 121 4.5K 66K 979K
Satan @s8n.23h ... Dad: We are not getting a cat. Family: gets cat anyway Dad and the cat: @BestofPokemonMemes 1.2K 25K 386K 27
s ... Maya Mode's older о... 21h THE nIGHT BEFORE nothing in particular really 39 4.6K 52K 616K
Eli @rats7.22h one of the most underrated benefits of having a cat is that you get another creature to look around in confusion with you when you hear a random loud ass noise in the middle of the night 16 1.1K 17K del 159K
Shitpost 2077 @shitpost....2 21h s ... nooo my cat 19K 46 1.8K 235K
jesse @darthgordita . 1d had a dream that josh brolin saw godzilla walk by him and just said lotta meat 29 669 12K 301K
calico ghoul @sca... 11h G ... Ideal relationship vibe Bill Pourquoimec @BillPou....12h Martin Scorsese and Isabella Rossellini (1981) 356K 10 832 17K
Jo @Goldxn_Violin 23h Playing Arkham City. New voicemail from the Joker is one of the funniest things I've ever seen in a game 40 1.3K 34K 639K
Zweil @somethings_awry.9h S ... Absolutely nothing can hurt me now - - FRIGIDAIRE BRITA BRITA CHICKEN STOCK 1000 ATURAL INGREDIENTS SERIA obani Greek Yogurt loney Vanilla Blended MORE - GREEK YOGURT SKILL HEART B Rasp الاسماد HUNKY HABANERO tio Zweil @somethings_awry-219125 What if I just got a second Brita so I didn't have to fill them up as often, has anyone ever thought of that or nah + 122 328 12K 289K
Maya @1maya_1_.1 15h I see why grandmas used to cook dinner at 3pm & sit down the rest of the day. 24 2.7K 14K 239K
media from the camera rol... . 10h s ... $ 75 Wouldn't cut out of Bigfoot $75 535 92K 8 9.3K
cel12+13 @chuuseungkwan.1d S ... GODDAMN IT UR GAY RU YAJ 204 2.7K 72K del 1M
kira @kirawontmiss. dd s ... - sorry lil bro my I forgot my flash was still on From k' 513 6.4K 102K 3.2M
Jared Gilman @realJaredGil... 12h s ... bailey @baileylikemovie - dd As a society we're losing the art of dissolves in film and that saddens me 41 2.1K 41K 1M
gianmarco @GianmarcoSoresi.8 8h ... IN It's pretty astounding that RFK has even less brains than his uncle 82 947 14K 208K
Mr Ken Bastardos @Ken_S... 20h G ... What a time to be alive Employment tribunals Calling your boss a dickhead is not a sackable offence, tribunal rules Woman who was immediately sacked when she insulted her manager during a row wins unfair dismissal case 67 1.5K 18K 583K
@thedaily... 14h s ... Daily Memes BE MINE Cody is that the guy from asshole Today 12:00PM You are completely out of your mind | think you mean jackass and even then you're still wrong 560 12 12K 158K
mutt @downinguppers : 21h G ... AERO NEW BRAUNFELS, TX - NOT a - 52 2.1K 24K 253K
sydney @squid_bees.2d S ... oh no thanks im full from my 1 gargantuan blueberry lunch 30 410 161K 11K
seagurl @neongreen333-1 1d baby u barely touched ur free will 6.1K 22K 10 392K
Patrick Doran @lunch_enjo... 21h 0 ... accidentally bought stuff on Ticklemaster.com instead of Ticketmaster.com and now a guy is coming to my house 27 1.3K 17K 311K
Nicole Rifkin @nicole_rif... 16h s ... my partner misspoke and said 'jugs judy' which will sustain me for weeks if not months. 88 2.7K 62K 903K
aidan @expiredloop 21h just saw a guy pray before eating his sandwich on the L train. god isn't down here bro 33 1.4K 32K 618K
james @futtywap.9h s ... 86 htB 86 LIGHTYEAR Big Cat @BarstoolBigCat9h Fuck Lightning. Piece of shit 67 2.7K 49K del 1.7M
jake @huntichon 17h ... can't wait to sleep tonight ugh I'M OFF TO CLUB BED FEATURING DJ PILLOW AND MC BLANKY 2 623 9K 154K

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